I could see that the Ainu was stunned into speechlessness, and I seized the chance to examine what the years had done to her since the last time I saw her, a clumsy teen barely 14.

Apparently, she had now blossomed into her full beauty at the age of twenty. Her eyes were still the same expressive cerulean ones whose endless pacific ocean could turn into a raging sea of fire when furious. She had grown taller too, and her figure became attractively slender, lending her the grace of a swan. Her soft pouting lips remain the biggest magnet of this woman, for I could feel this unexplainable urge to stare at them.

I loved how she was suddenly looking up at me- I had undergone a growth spurt, thanks to a friend's recommendation of a certain herbal tea.

"Ren Tao," she said quietly. "You are the last person I expect to come here, let alone propose marriage. Please tell me what you want immediately so you can go on your way."

"I want you," I stated simply.

She licked her lips nervously, and I found myself staring at those lips again, reminiscing that night in the balcony that turned my whole life upside down. "Y-You won't want me…I am not…I will not make a good wife."

"I will judge that."

She turned her begging eyes at me. "Please leave, Ren Tao. I was just a child then…it was just an outburst."

"Too late to say that, lady," I said mockingly. "My sister is waiting for you already excitedly. My birthday is just around the block…"

"H-Happy birthday then.." she said softly.

I suppressed an amused smile. "…and I need a fiancée. You can't say no."

"I can and I will," she said in a subdued voice, perfectly in contrast to my own passionately furious one.

"You never learn, don't you?" I stepped towards her, and she didn't even move backwards the way I imagined she would do. "I told you before, a Tao never accepts an answer contrary to what he's seeking." With no warning, I imprisoned her hand.

"Ren Tao…there are so many women out there…" Her eyes remained glued to the ground, and despite of myself, I was starting to feel a sense of déjà vu. One look at her face and I knew she was starting to feel exactly the same way.

"I want you."

"Ren please…"

I exhaled sharply. "You're the only one who can comprehend my situation. I don't have to explain anymore to my fiancée what a shaman is all about."

"Why me…" She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

And despite myself, I could feel something gnawing in my heart. It was an emotion stranger to me, one I couldn't name. I decided to ignore it.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't choose you," I said instead.

"Because I'm prone to…" She caught herself.

"Prone to what?" I asked, not noticing how my voice harshened.

Something crossed her face, but it was quick to disappear. She spoke up again. "I'm detrimental to your freedom, and you told me you love it."

"I won't lose my freedom," I said confidently. "Just like what I said before, it would all just be one big masquerade. After my birthday, we can resume our own affairs again."

"I-I'm not a fighter. I'm not skilled at battles. The only battle I could do is domestic, one like sweeping and cooking. Your family won't like me."

"You'll be my fiancée, not theirs. What are you fretting about?" I asked.

She raised her hand. "No…please, just leave me alone. I'm quite happy with my life now."

"Define happy," I said, stepping closer to her. This was all too easy, frightening a mouse.

"I have peace of mind, something I worked so hard for and would lose if I try to make contact with you again."

"Peace of mind?" I hissed. It was unfair! How come she stole that away from me? "How do you do that, when you remember that you promised someone that you will grow up, and that you'll be his bride?"

She bit her lip. "Ren' nii-san…"

"For pete's sake, stop calling me big brother! We kissed 6 years ago!" I grabbed her tiny waist, and she didn't resist. She was frozen still, looking at me in mixed fear and desperation.

"Remember this: a Tao never breaks a promise, nor does he easily forget those that others broke." I pulled her closer, my face inching even nearer. "So whether you like it or not, you're coming with me."

"T-This is kidnapping," she protested.

"Yes, maybe." I carried her into my arms with ease. "Let's go."

"R-Ren' nii-san!!!" She panicked when she realized what I did.

"Call me that stupid name one more time and I'll kiss you, do you understand?" I barked.

And to my disappointment, she clamped her mouth shut.

We were riding in my family's private plane silently. We were being chartered to China, where my sister would be waiting. My sister and my mother, to be exact.

Good lord, women are such pests! I couldn't comprehend their logic about me having the urgent need to marry.

I remembered what my mother told me. Just so I would not be like my father.

I snapped back to reality when I heard a faint snore. I turned to the other end of the aisle and saw that Pirika has fell into a deep sleep already. Perhaps because of the fatigue from the sudden journey and the tension between us awhile ago.

Before I could think of what I was about to do, I had already crossed the aisle and sat down beside her. I gazed at her unaware face for awhile, smiling all the while. I knew it- she would grow up beautifully. I knew it ever since she was just a gawky fourteen-year-old girl.

I found myself running the back of my palm on the silkiness of her cheek, then towards the base of her earlobe. I tucked a stray wisp of her hair behind her ear, feeling my mouth twitch all the while.

Maybe this engagement thing wasn't too bad.

She opened her eyes. "R-Ren?"

I instantly fixed my face into a somber one, although I was taken by surprise when she called me by my name alone. "We'll be home in ten minutes."

She nodded half-dreamily. "Kay." She shut her eyes again. "Just wake me up," she mumbled.

"So it will still be Pirika in the end after all," my sister, Jun Tao, said, smiling at the girl. We finally arrived home, but I didn't wake Pirika up. I decided to carry her home again, the way I carried her off from her shack.

The female in my arms woke up, startled. It took her some minutes to orient herself with her surroundings. Her blue eyes went to me, then to my onee-san's. She hurriedly jumped down, blushing.

"I-I told you to wake me up," she hissed.

I shrugged. "I didn't. You were sleeping like a baby, and I don't have the heart to wake you up."

"That was so nice of you, Ren," laughed my sister, though her eyes were on my fiancée. Pirika, on the other hand, refused to meet my sister's gaze, so I decided to divert my sister's attention.

"When will our parents return?" I asked.

"In a few days time, just in time for your birthday, they promised me that." Jun's eyes went back to the girl, who looked too tired to even say yes or no. "Maybe you should take her to bed."

I blinked, and she laughed. "No, Ren, show her to her bedroom."

"Next time, clarify it," I said through gritted teeth.

Jun erupted into peals of laughter. "Oh? And you really intend to do as what you originally thought?"

I refused to answer anymore.

I led her to the long hallways of the mansion as she followed me lamely.

"I'll inform your brother of your whereabouts, if that is what's worrying you," I said awkwardly. I wasn't used of giving reassurances to anyone, but I didn't like the tense silence between us.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"Do you want some dinner?" I asked.

She shook her head slowly.

"Then what the hell is wrong?" I barked.

"Everything," she replied quietly. "Ren' nii-san, I dream of a marriage that I can keep. I cherish that dream since childhood."

I fell silent. She just told me that I deprived her of something she had been yearning of ever since. It pinched something within me.

"You'll still have your chance," I said quietly. "This won't be permanent. You still have a chance to marry someone else…someone who can give you the commitment that you want."

Silence hung once more heavily.

"OK," she said at last. She smiled slowly at me. "For the few days that we'll be together, I'll try to be the best fiancée for you."

I nodded gratefully. "Things will work out fine. After this…"

She nodded. "I understand, and I did make a promise. I'll never ever break one," she said solemnly.

I turned my back on her and was about to walk away when I found myself throwing her one last glance.

She was sitting on the bed, looking out at the window pensively. I smiled a little, then went on my way.

tsuzuku