The next day, I hastily prepared the food on the tray. It was almost seven in the morning, the time that Ren usually comes back to the house from his regular morning workouts. I prayed silently that he would like the dishes I prepared. Between me and my big brother, he was the better cook. I had learned to accept that fact, and I thought I wouldn't have to learn the art of cooking he and Tamao' nee-san perfected already since they can both cook.

But I didn't count on this one happening, Ren Tao going out of his way just to locate me in Japan in order to make me his bride. I shook my head. No, a pretend bride.

 But I would be a hypocrite if I do not admit that I was thrilled with the idea of playing his fiancée even just for days. I had always wanted to do these things for him, and have the license to act that way. I wouldn't mind doing this for my entire life, cooking for him, preparing his things, cleaning his room…and I kind of miss doing these things for him. He may never have appreciated the things I did for him back when I was fourteen, and he may never appreciate it now, but I do not care. I already feel rewarded just having him near me.

I smiled. In those six years, it was only him.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone call me.

"Oi, Pirika?" Ren Tao entered the kitchen, frowning. I sighed. The morning sunshine apparently took no effect on him. He was still as grouchy as ever.

"B-Breakfast is served," I said, smiling shyly at him.

"I can see that." He gave the food a brief glance, then went straight towards the sink to wash his face.

"I-I'll go get you a towel," I said quickly.

"Don't you think I can go get it myself?" he asked, annoyed. I knew he wasn't used to being fussed upon. Even when I used to bring him his breakfasts, I never volunteered out loud…well, save for that time when I volunteered to be his bride. But that was it.

"G-Gomen," I said instead.

"Oh alright, if it will make you happy, go get me a towel," he groaned. I bit back a smile as I dashed to fetch him what he needs.

When I handed it to him, he headed towards the door. I blinked. "R-Ren' nii-san?"

He turned to me, eyes narrowed. "What did I tell you before about calling me?"

"Um…that I should call you when it's only important?"

"No! That the next time I hear you call me 'big brother', I'll DEVOUR you!!!" he yelled, nearly making me jump.

"G-Gomen nasai," was the only thing I could say. I didn't realize how deep his issue was with his name until now.

Jun's head suddenly peeked in. "Ren, act more civil next time please. What you said should be heard only in the privacy of your bedroom!" She didn't look angry at all though; in fact, she looked very, very amused. And the entertained look on her face heightened when both of our faces flamed in embarrassment.

After she left, he glared at me. "I'm warning you, Pirika. My mother mustn't hear you address me that way. You're supposed to be my fiancée."

"U-Understood, R…Ren-kun." I blushed, the name sounding strangely tender. Ren Tao was a name of a fierce warrior, and Ren' nii-san was a name that promised strength and power. Ren-kun though…no matter how much I try to make it sound reverent, my tongue only always manages to roll it out of my lips…intimately.

I wasn't able to see how he felt about the way I call him now. He was already settled in front of the table, looking down at the breakfast table as if inspecting a laboratory table filled with guinea pigs. He looked at the scrambled eggs and scowled. "How come it wasn't cooked sunny side-up?"

"I…I broke the yolk when I was turning it over," I explained. "Would you like me to cook again?"

"No," he said curtly. "I'm hungry already. I'll make do with this." He looked at the toast, then at the milk carton. Wordlessly, he began his meal.

"Water, R…Ren-kun?" My voice wavered a little. The new name was still alien in my lips.

"What's wrong with my name?" he asked, annoyed. "It's not in Latin. It has one syllable only, compromised of three letters. For pete's sake, there's even a vowel in my name! Why can't your pronounce it without stammering?"

"I-I'm not used…to call men older than me by their names alone," I confessed.

"Am I that old?" he wanted to know.

I bit my lip. "N-No. I-I'm too young."

Silence. He said that to me six years ago, and I still couldn't forget that.

He picked his fork up again. "Not anymore," he said quietly.

I suddenly felt the urge to look at him, but his attention was back on his meal.

"I-Is Ren-kun fine?" I asked out of having nothing to say.

"You make it sound nice," he shrugged.

I couldn't help it. I giggled at his words.

He looked up, demanding to know what was so funny. I shook my head, still laughing. Ren Tao still had his sense of humor intact, after all.

Maybe, just maybe, there was still hope of us being good friends.

I sat down on the grassy garden of the Tao mansion, watching him do his exercise- some slashing workouts under the bamboo tree.

I knew he was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the audience, especially one who readily gasps and jumps in fright whenever he hits himself accidentally with his own weapon.

But I didn't want to stay in the mansion. No, don't get me wrong. Ren's elder sister was very kind-hearted and was in fact very happy when he presented me as his fiancée.

No, the thing is, I wanted to be close to my "fiancé". I was informed that his birthday was a week from now, and I knew that after that, I would never see him again. So now here I am, savoring every moment that we were together. Not together together, but together in one space, breathing the same air, standing in the same ground. It was giving me a strange feeling of contentment and serenity that I never knew of for the entire six years that I had stayed in Japan.

"You're distracting me," he complained at last when he missed his target for the nth time.

"Gomen…"

"I'm starting to grow weary of that word," he muttered.

I merely gazed at him. I couldn't possibly tell him now why I was doing this. The last time that I became honest with my feelings for him, it prompted both of us to do something stupid. This time, I won't be too rushed. I would take my time in showing him my feelings.

"Let's go in and treat your wounds," I said instead.

He rolled his eyes, bur surprisingly, he trailed after me.

As I wiped his arms with warm water, he remained staring at me, silent. I took no notice of it, even though it was all I could do to tremble beneath his piercing gaze. I tried not to look at his shirtless torso too, the smooth ripples of fleshes that were strengthened by those everyday training…

I vaguely remembered feeling this way when I went on a field trip to an art museum. The paintings were all so beautiful, and I wanted to run my hands on the landscape of colors, but the curator said, "No touch, only look."

The same frustration was overwhelming me too, only this time it was much worse.

At last, he spoke up. "Why did you run away six years ago?"

I forced a careless laugh. "Iie! I didn't run away. My brother and I had just decided that it will do him good if he returns home and regain his memory there."

"I don't believe you," he said simply.

I paused from my work. "W-Why not?" I asked quietly.

"Why didn't you even inform me that you were leaving?" he demanded.

I licked my lips nervously. "B-Because it was a last minute decision."

"Last minute decision my ass!" he yelled, and I shut my eyes instinctively. I felt him hesitate, then exhale deeply. "Tell that to the marines, Pirika," he said, his voice much calmer than awhile ago. "Why did you leave the mansion without letting me know?"

I picked up the towel. "B-Because I didn't think I have to. My brother and I…we're burdening you enough."

"I feel that you have another reason, and you're not being totally honest," he said. "And put that damn thing down and look at me. I'm talking to you."

I shook my head. "We need to nurse those wounds-" I gasped when he grabbed the towel and threw it away.

"I hate it when people try to reason with me." His hand reached for me, and the next thing I knew, his finger was gingerly tipping my chin up to meet his gaze. "And when they don't look at me in the eye when telling something. It gives me the feeling that this person is hiding something from me."

"Why did you suddenly disappear?" he asked again. "I looked everywhere for you…no one told me you left China already until Pailong returned. You made a fool out of me."

"W-Who told you to look for me anyway?" I managed to ask.

I saw his eyes shake, and before I could apologize, I realized that he was intending to do something.

The diminishing inches of gap between our faces…his breathing fanning my face…

Déjà vu.

Good Lord, he was going to kiss me.

"Ren?" Jun's head peeked in, then blinked embarrassedly. "Oh my god! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" She shut the door.

But the damage was already done. Ren let go of me suddenly, face dark. He left the room wordlessly.

"Ren-kun!" I cried breathlessly. "P-Put your shirt on first, please! Y-You might catch cold!"

He did come back, but only to take his shirt. He wore it, then slipped out of the room again.

When the door shut, I felt myself collapse on the sofa chair weakly. After all these years, I still wanted him.

But why did he suddenly feel the urge to kiss me? Surely, it couldn't be because he was attracted to me. Maybe it was because he got carried away with the tension…yeah, that must be it, maybe.

But one thing was for sure, I did not get carried away. I knew that I would kiss him back the moment his lips touch mine. I would do so with all my heart, with all my love.

For I still am madly in love with Ren-kun.

Tsuzuku