A/N: This is the sort of sequel to my story "Below the belt". It may help 2 read that first, but I think this makes sense without it. I would like to thank my friend edgy wedgy for coming up with the theory that elves are asexual.
Eldarion sat in his room, pondering over the story that his father had told him. It didn't make any sense. If Thranduil was a virgin, then how could he be Legolas' father? And so Eldarion sat on his bed, thinking and thinking. In the eastern sky, the sun popped its innocent head from behind the horizon and blazed in the sky. It was morning.
Eldarion yawned and decided to ask Thranduil to solve this ponderous riddle for him. He got up and walked towards the elf's bedroom, knocking cautiously on the door. He waited for a response before he entered, knowing well some of the terrifying things elves got up to alone in their bedrooms.
Thranduil was sitting on his bed. He greeted Eldarion enthusiastically.
"Eldarion! How glad I am to see you!"
"Hi…" Eldarion replied, nervously. He fidgeted for a moment before looking up at the eager elf.
"Thranduil, are you Legolas' actual father? Coz Ada said that you were a virgin and so then you couldn't be Legolas dad because that's impossible."
Thranduil was silent for a minute, before he began to speak gravely.
"Your father is right, Eldarion. I am a virgin. But I am still Legolas' father."
"But, how?" Eldarion protested.
"You see, Eldarion, elves are asexual. This means that they are neither male nor female. In fact, they are rather like unicellular organisms. Except that they are multicellular organisms. But they reproduce in the same way. By splitting in half to create a new, replicated image of the original self. I was born in this way, and so was Legolas. So that is how I was able to father Legolas without going through the dreadful mess of trying to find a male-I mean, female, to reproduce."
Eldarion blinked with wide eyes, then ran off as fast as he could, even more confused than before. Ada was right. Elves were scary.