The lyrics of the song in this vignette were begging to be used in a Remus fic, so I wrote this in his honor. I don't know if it's in or out of his character, but this is the way he came to me this morning. I'd love to hear what you readers think of it! By the way, neither Remus nor the song are mine, but I use them with love! Also, this contains spoilers for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
The Soldier
Remus Lupin stood before the mirror, looking at himself as he prepared for the day ahead of him. His lean body had grown more muscular over the summer holiday. He had thrown himself into exercise as a way of dealing with the loss of his best friend. It had taken him several weeks to get to that point however, having chosen alcohol as his first refuge. Albus Dumbledore had spoken words to him however that helped him choose a different escape. Albus had told him he dishonoured Sirius' memory by drinking himself into a stupor. He was helping nobody else but the people who killed him by doing so. This idea had sickened Remus, and he had sworn off the drink altogether after that.
Remus had then decided to become the finest soldier he could be for this war. He would fight in Sirius' name. He'd spent twelve, fourteen, sometimes eighteen hours a day working out. The repetition of movement and endorphins helped numb the pain of being left behind. It helped dissolve the guilt Remus felt for not having been able to stop Sirius from being killed.
One afternoon over the summer, Remus had heard a song playing in a Muggle car as he walked down the road. He had stopped, immobilized, as the words permeated his brain. Remus spent several days afterwards, researching that song and finding a copy for himself. He listened to it each morning as he prepared for the battle ahead. "The Show Must Go On," by Queen, it encompassed all that Remus felt his life now was. He was no more than an actor preparing for his performance on the stage. "Another hero, Another mindless crime, Behind the Curtain, Of the pantomime..." Every time Remus heard that line, he flashed back to the day Sirius died. It always served to remind him of why he now did what he did.
Remus put his clothes on. As he put on his robes and picked up his wand, Remus thought about the first time he'd used his wand as a weapon in this war. He'd never used the Cruciatus curse before, and didn't realize he was using it until he saw his victim crumpled upon the ground before him. The power had frightened him at first, for he had stood before his enemy, and watched him writhe in pain, with joy in his heart. The joy quickly turned to disgust, and he had broken the spell, then helped his enemy to his feet once again.
After this, Albus showed Remus how to use the Pensieve. Now each day, before leaving for the next battle, Remus took those memories and emotions, and placed them in the holder. As he did this, the music of his song played in the background. Now that his mind was clear, he was ready to fight. Albus needed soldiers for this war who could fight without emotion. A soldier needed to fight with logic, strategy, and tactics, not feelings. To care was to lose or to die. Remus wouldn't let that happen.
As the song ended, Remus put his wand in his robes, and left the room, ready for the battle ahead.
The Soldier
Remus Lupin stood before the mirror, looking at himself as he prepared for the day ahead of him. His lean body had grown more muscular over the summer holiday. He had thrown himself into exercise as a way of dealing with the loss of his best friend. It had taken him several weeks to get to that point however, having chosen alcohol as his first refuge. Albus Dumbledore had spoken words to him however that helped him choose a different escape. Albus had told him he dishonoured Sirius' memory by drinking himself into a stupor. He was helping nobody else but the people who killed him by doing so. This idea had sickened Remus, and he had sworn off the drink altogether after that.
Remus had then decided to become the finest soldier he could be for this war. He would fight in Sirius' name. He'd spent twelve, fourteen, sometimes eighteen hours a day working out. The repetition of movement and endorphins helped numb the pain of being left behind. It helped dissolve the guilt Remus felt for not having been able to stop Sirius from being killed.
One afternoon over the summer, Remus had heard a song playing in a Muggle car as he walked down the road. He had stopped, immobilized, as the words permeated his brain. Remus spent several days afterwards, researching that song and finding a copy for himself. He listened to it each morning as he prepared for the battle ahead. "The Show Must Go On," by Queen, it encompassed all that Remus felt his life now was. He was no more than an actor preparing for his performance on the stage. "Another hero, Another mindless crime, Behind the Curtain, Of the pantomime..." Every time Remus heard that line, he flashed back to the day Sirius died. It always served to remind him of why he now did what he did.
Remus put his clothes on. As he put on his robes and picked up his wand, Remus thought about the first time he'd used his wand as a weapon in this war. He'd never used the Cruciatus curse before, and didn't realize he was using it until he saw his victim crumpled upon the ground before him. The power had frightened him at first, for he had stood before his enemy, and watched him writhe in pain, with joy in his heart. The joy quickly turned to disgust, and he had broken the spell, then helped his enemy to his feet once again.
After this, Albus showed Remus how to use the Pensieve. Now each day, before leaving for the next battle, Remus took those memories and emotions, and placed them in the holder. As he did this, the music of his song played in the background. Now that his mind was clear, he was ready to fight. Albus needed soldiers for this war who could fight without emotion. A soldier needed to fight with logic, strategy, and tactics, not feelings. To care was to lose or to die. Remus wouldn't let that happen.
As the song ended, Remus put his wand in his robes, and left the room, ready for the battle ahead.