ACT NATURALLY

CHAPTER III

Matrix knew it had been just a cycle since they'd arrived on Muir – hit internal clock told him so.  But that indisputable fact aside, it seemed like it had been much, much longer.  It wasn't that the big sprite wasn't enjoying himself – it was liberating to be out traveling again, with the important difference that he wasn't lost in the net this time.  Muir was a profoundly pleasant place – green and mild and visually stunning.  He was even enjoying his brother's company – Enzo's exuberance could be a bit much at times, but the long, reflective silences on the trail – punctuated by frank, open conversation – were easy and relaxed between them.  He'd even enjoyed the skinny-dipping, on reflection.

No, what made the brief passage of time so remarkable was simple – it was extraordinary that his perception of the boy could change so much in so little time.  It wasn't that he didn't know his brother was growing up – of course he knew it, and Enzo's prolonged absences at the Academy made his incremental gains in height and bulk that much more obvious when Matrix did see him.  But he'd still just been Little Enzo – the annoying, exhausting, endearing and innocent shadow of his past.

But no more – the last cycle had profoundly changed the way Matrix thought about his brother.  His quiet competence in camping skills, his pride of accomplishment, his willingness to simply observe and not speak – they were all surprising signs of maturity the older brother hadn't expected.  But more than anything else it was the nature of Enzo's questions that had forever altered Matrix' perception.  He'd had no idea the boy was wrestling with such wrenching and adult frustrations – he was a fully formed individual now, not just a static .JPEG of a past Matrix would rather not have remembered.  It was more than a little unsettling, but it also filled him with a sense of pride that surprised him almost as much as Enzo's emotional growth.

The second cycle of the trip had been a relaxing, pleasant breeze – the trail looped to the west and met up with the spur that would eventually loop them back towards their starting point and rendezvous with Bob.  The new trail hugged the foothills, occasionally dipping into small valleys and climbing out again, but mostly relatively flat and pleasant.  The mountains were their constant companion on their left, and they crossed numerous streams, some complete with spectacular datafalls.  Enzo had no trouble keeping up a good pace – Matrix never felt egregiously stifled in his tempo, and despite an occasional good-tempered whine Enzo soldiered along in strong spirit.  Clearly the boy's physical conditioning had matured along with his outlook.

On the second night they'd swapped jobs, and Enzo had pitched the tent and gathered data while Matrix built the fire and cooked dinner.  The simplicity of camp life was soothing, and Matrix enjoyed the particular freedom the wilderness afforded him – they walked, they drank, they built their fire and ate, and they slept.  Absent the ache of a lost home and the guilt of a sister abandoned it was an especially appealing existence, and the big sprite enjoyed sharing it with the brother who seemed to be morphing into a young man before his eyes.

As the third cycle dawned, Matrix knew that a reunion with Bob and a trip home awaited them at the end of a long cycle's hiking.  To his surprise he felt himself saddened by the prospect – something that would have been unthinkable before they'd departed.  They breakfasted on energy bars and bad java, broke camp and rejoined the trail.  The two sprites hiked side by side now, sharing occasional smiles and comments about what they saw, but speaking little as they walked.

Lunch was canned stew and energy shake pouches, eaten on a large, flat boulder on the edge of the widest and deepest river they'd seen on their trip.  Once the stew was finished Enzo dug into his bag and produced, with a flourish, a huge slab of chocolate cake.  "Hey – what's this?"

"Surprise!"  Enzo grinned.  "I wanted to save it for the last cycle, so we'd have something special.  Dot baked it the night before we left."

"Good work."  The boy broke the wedge of cake in half and handed a piece to his brother.  "Makes a nice change from energy bars and dried noodles."

"Thanks, Aniki."

"Aniki?  What's that?"

"It's Japanese." The teenager replied, blushing a little.  "It means, sorta, big brother and teacher rolled into one.  I heard it on an anime MPEG I watch sometimes."  He looked up.  "Is it OK?"

Matrix smiled.  He felt oddly flattered – and who knew the boy watched anime, for that matter?  "Sure, Enzo.  If you want."

"Cool."

They ate in silence for a few millis.  "Hope you brought napkins – you need one."

"Shut up!" Enzo laughed, wiping his mouth on a sleeve.  "Like you can eat cake without a fork and not make a mess."

"See any on my face, Kid?"

"It's hidden in your beard."

"You wish."

"What I wish is that we had some milk."

"I wouldn't want milk that's been in your pack for three cycles."  They finished the dessert, staring out over the river rushing by them in its rush to surrender itself to a data sea somewhere far away. 

"Pretty good trip, huh?"

Matrix turned his attention back to his brother.  "Having fun?"

"Yeah." The boy nodded.  "You?"

"Yeah.  Not bad at all, Kid.  Been through a lot worse.  Looking forward to getting home?"

"I guess." Enzo sighed.  "I kinda wish we were staying longer, though.  I like it here."

"Yeah.  Me too."

"Really?"

"Don't act so surprised, Enzo!  Did you think I was having a terrible time?"

"No, I just…  When we first got here, I wasn't sure if you really wanted to come or you were just doing it for me."

"That's not my style, is it?"

The boy smiled.  "I guess not.  You're much too selfish."

"Whatever."  Matrix swung playfully at his brother, who ducked out of the way.  "So – how's the guitar coming?  You still play?"

"The guitar?"  Enzo seemed surprised by the sudden turn in the conversation.  "Yeah – I don't practice as much as I should when I'm at school, though.  Bob's been giving me lessons this summer."

"That's good."

"I tried to write a song.  You know – for Lisa." The boy blushed.  "But that didn't work out too well…"

Matrix chuckled.  "Well – keep at it.  I never found writing very easy, so I guess you don't either."

"Guess not.  Songs, anyway.  What about you, Matrix – d'you ever play?"

"The guitar?" he spat, a trifle harshly.    "No.  I won't even look at that thing."

"Yeah." Enzo whispered.  "You could get a different one though, couldn't you?"

"What's the point?  I don't have the time, and I'm no good for learning stuff like that at my age.  You'll have to be good enough for both of us."

"More pressure." His brother sighed. 

"You can handle it."  Matrix winked.  "I know it's not easy trying to live up to my glorious standard."

"Yeah.  You're adored." 

"Don't be a smart-guy."  Matrix took another playful swipe at the teenager.  "Seriously – you know you don't have to try and please everybody or be like me, right?  Just do your own thing and don't worry about that stuff."

"I know." Enzo nodded, but it didn't look to Matrix as if he believed it.  He stared at his brother for a few nanos, struck again by how familiar and unfamiliar the face looked.  When the boy looked inside and saw his own fears there, the visage became that much more familiar to his older brother.  "What're you thinking?"

"Huh?"

"You were looking at me." Enzo said.

"Nothing…  Just thinking about how much you've changed.  It's like you're growing up overnight and I didn't even notice."

"You said that the other night."

"Did I?" Matrix smiled.  "Well, it's true.  I didn't realize you were serious into girls and worrying about the future and all that…  Not to mention how much stronger you are, and better at taking care of yourself.  I guess I haven't been spending enough time with you to notice."   He sighed.  "Maybe I haven't been spending enough time with you, period."

"Really?"

"Yeah.  You're my brother, y'know?"

"Yeah." Enzo nodded, blushing.  "I like doing stuff with you.  We should do it more."

"Yeah."

"You've changed too, y'know.  A lot."

"What?"  Matrix searched for mockery in his brother's face, but none was present.  "What do you mean?"

Enzo grinned.  "You really don't know?  You're, like, a totally different sprite from when we- well – when we met, I guess."

"Different how?"

"Besides you hating me then, you mean?"

Matrix recoiled, then scowled.  "Codeswap you."

"Sorry." His brother mumbled.  "That was mean – and it wasn't what I meant, anyways."

"Well – what, then?"

The boy shrugged.  "I don't know how to say it, but it's totally obvious!  You're more…  You're more OK, now – y'know?  You don't get mad at everything and everybody and wish everything was different all the time.  You're cool with stuff as it is – well, most of the time."

"I am?"

"Sure!  And you're a lot easier to talk to.  You actually answer sometimes, now!  And you don't get mad and yell as much, either.  You're just cooler, all-around."

"Thanks.  I guess…" 

"Welcome.  And you're different, you know… with me.  Than you used to be.  A lot different."

Matrix felt a stab of regret at the implications of that statement, even as he knew its veracity.  "Yeah – I guess I did know that one."

Enzo smiled weakly.  "I know you used to-"

"Don't say it!"

"I wasn't!  I was just gonna say you used to not like being around me very much.  I know you felt uncomfortable sometimes when I was around, and I know it was hard for you to talk to me."

"Well – it was kinda hard for me to talk to everybody then.  Still is, sometimes."

"Yeah." The boy sighed.  "But I know it was always different with me, because of everything with, you know, us.  I always wanted to talk to you, though.  I always wanted to know everything you could tell me, but you didn't want to tell me stuff very often."

Matrix stared out over the data in silence for a moment.  "I'm sorry, Enzo. I know I wasn't always a great brother."

"It's totally cool." The youth replied.  "I get it, Matrix – I know why it's so hard for you, with me.  It's no big file."

"It's a pretty big file, Kid."

"Well…  Maybe."  Matrix felt a small but firm squeeze on his arm.  "But it's a lot better now – y'know?  Like now, this trip.  And even when it was hard, I never though you didn't-  I mean, I always knew you…"

"Yeah."  The big sprite looked at his brother.  "You know it."

"Yeah." Enzo smiled.  "So see?  You changed a lot, too.  We both changed.  But we're cool now so it's all good, right?"

"Yeah!" Matrix laughed, marveling not for the first time at his twin's remarkable reserves of empathy.  "It's all good, Little Brother."

"It's good when things change sometimes.  Don't you think?"  Enzo picked up a pebble and tossed it into the river.  "Sometimes you think changes are bad, and you wish they'd never happened.  But then after a while, you realize that maybe you were being selfish, and they weren't bad changes after all."

"Like what, Enzo?"

"Dunno."  Another pebble splashed into the data.  "When Mac was born, even though I knew Bob and Dot were really happy, sometimes I wasn't.    Sometimes I even wished it had never happened."

"Really?"

The boy nodded wordlessly and stared at the rushing data.  "I was totally sure Dot wasn't gonna love me as much any more, now that she had Mac.  And I knew it even more, because Mac was her son and I'm not."

Matrix found himself surprised at the admission, almost instantly realizing how unsurprising it was.  How easy it would have been to talk with Enzo then – to help him deal with the shattering of the world he knew.  Bob and Dot had been busy, heads swimming as they tried to adapt to parenthood – Matrix had all the time in the world.  But he hadn't – it just hadn't occurred to him.  "I don't…  She'd never do that."

"I know.  But I didn't know then.  I…  I don't even think I wanted Mac as a nephew or anything, at first.  Even though I could see how happy Sis was."

Matrix sighed and patted his brother's back awkwardly.  "That was natural, Kid – anyone would have felt the same way in your shoes.  You just needed time to get used to the idea, you know?"

The boy nodded.  "But it's like, things are a certain way, and you have certain sprites around and you like it, you know?  And then a new person comes in and it sort of randomizes everything and that makes everything seem wrong at first, and you blame the new person, even if they're only a little kid."  He looked up.  "But then, you realize that it isn't bad the new way, it's just different.  And it can even be really good to have a new sprite around.  You know?"

Matrix stared down at his brother, trying to read his eyes for the thrust behind his words, but the boy's gaze revealed nothing.  "Yeah.  It definitely can be, once you get used to it."  He turned his eyes back out to the river and the hills beyond.

"Cool."

"Well - I can tell you this much, you definitely don't have to worry about Dot.   She worries about you all the time when you're away – it never stops.  That'll never change."

"I know." Enzo said softly.  "Now."

"What you have with Dot – I'll never have that, you know.  I was gone too long, and I came back too different.  She's still my sister, but it'll never be like it was."

"Don't say that!" the boy scolded.

"Don't kid yourself, Enzo.  I've accepted all this for a long time, now – I came back from the games a different sprite than I was before.  I know things could never be like they were.  I just had to try and make the best of it and have a new life."

"Well – maybe." Enzo replied dubiously.  "I know you were gone a long time.  But you shouldn't say that about Dot – she still cares about you and worries about you and everything else."

"I know." Matrix smiled at his brother.  "It's OK, Enzo – like I said, I accepted all this a long time ago.  Dot didn't know how to deal with a grown-up brother – she needed time to adjust, too.  We're fine now – it's just different than it is with you.  Like you said, different isn't always a bad thing."

"I guess." The boy sighed.  He took a long swig out of his data bottle and wiped his mouth.  "I know Dot still loves me, and I know that's why she still wants to take care of me.  But sometimes…"

"What?"

"Sometimes I wish she wasn't so… there.  I get really sick of everybody taking care of me and worrying about me.  Bob does it, too – even you do it."

"I do not!"

"You do too, Matrix." Enzo frowned.  "Like when you told me to stay where you could see me, when I went to piss?"

Matrix blushed.  "Yeah – but I mean – there are wild animals and everything and I didn't want you to wander off and get lost-"

"See?  Even at school – Mouse and Ray and Laser, they all do it.  I know they worry about me and they wouldn't do it if they didn't like me and I appreciate it, I really do.  But sometimes I just want to take care of myself." 

"Kid-"

"I'm fourteen, Enzo!  Almost…" the teenager growled plaintively.  "I live on my own in a dorm and I've survived games on my own – do you really think I'm gonna get lost at a campsite?"

"No – I don't.  I was just worried about…  I don't know, whatever.  I was worried."

"Yeah." The boy spat.  "Maybe if I didn't look like a ten-hour old everyone wouldn't worry about me so much!"

"Stop that!" his brother sighed.  "You don't look ten – you're just small for your age, that's all.  And probably not even that – those kids are all older than you are."

"But look at you.  Why am I still like this and you're like that?  If I grew a little faster maybe everyone would stop treating me like a little kid!"

Matrix searched for the words to soothe his brother, but none came.  It was as hard to vocalize the boy's frustrations now as it had been then, when he was the boy.  And he hadn't had to deal with a living, breathing version of his adult self every cycle.  He cuffed his brother's neck helplessly.  "It'll come, Enzo.  Just be patient."

"I'm tired of being patient.  That's the only answer I ever hear – be patient."

"You know, maybe you should be grateful you have sprites to care about you instead of bitching about it.  Not everyone does."

"I know, I know!  You said that before."  Another splash on the data.  "I'm just an ungrateful little null, right?"

"Did I say that?"

"No." Enzo sighed.  "Sorry.  I feel like I am sometimes, when I get this way."

Matrix left his hand on his brother's neck.  "Just keep proving yourself, Enzo.  Like you have been.  Being tall and strong isn't everything, and you'll be those things soon enough anyway.  Do the best with what you have and you'll do fine.  Remember your strengths – if you're not big and strong enough, be smart enough."

"K.  I'll try."

"And as far as Dot goes…  She'll never stop wanting to take care of you because you'll always be her kid, at least in the back of her processor.  Don't waste any time wanting that to change – it won't.  Just accept it and cut her some slack – she only does it 'cause she cares so much."

"I know.  I was worried she wouldn't care as much, and now sometimes I wish she didn't.  Does that make me a bad sprite?"

"'Course not.  It just makes you a teenager."

"Stop!" the boy laughed.  "I'm serious, Enzo!"

"So am I!  I didn't exactly have a normal childhood, you know?  But I'm pretty sure this stuff is normal.  Just don't let it drive you offline."

"I'll try.  Thanks."

"NP.  Speaking of normal childhoods, how's your social life?  You have any friends at that Academy?"

"Sure I do." The boy smiled.

"Really?"

"Don't sound so surprised!  Thanks a lot."

"I'm not!  I'm just glad to hear it, that's all.  I know how worried you were about dealing with other kids and all that."

"Yeah, well – I guess I was.  Especially older ones.  It wasn't easy at first, but I'm doing all right."

"You have a group you hang with?"  Matrix grinned.  "Have you got your own posse?"

"Stop!" Enzo blushed.  "Nothing like that.  I'm not really friends with all that many kids.  A lot of them kinda looked at me funny because I knew Bob and Mouse and Laser, and most of the second-hours wouldn't be caught dead hanging with a sprout.  But-"

"Sprout?"

"Yeah, uh…  That's what the seconds called us.  Them now, I guess…"

"Now I know why you made me stop calling you that!"

"Yeah." Enzo shrugged.  "So like I said, it was kind of weird with a lot of the kids at first.  But Linux is totally cool – he's my roommate.  And Lisa, and there's another girl named Patch who's kind of dating Linux, and the four of us do something pretty much every minute-end.  We go to Quicktimes and have pizza, and we hang out at Starbauds.  It's pretty cool."

Matrix found himself deeply touched to hear his brother talk so casually about something so normal – something he knew, from experience, meant a huge file to the boy.  "That's alphanumeric, Enzo.  I never got to have that when I was a kid – it's awesome that you do."

"Thanks Aniki.  It is pretty cool – I couldn't imagine myself doing stuff like that with guys my own age, y'know?  And now I just do it.  It rocks."

"Yeah.  Sorry I said what I did about you coming home from the Academy, OK?  I wasn't giving you your due."

"It's cool.  You about ready to go?"

"Yeah."  Matrix checked his internal clock.  "Got a long way to go today, so I guess we better."

The boy lithely sprung down off the boulder and slipped his pack back on.  "Think you can keep up, Old Man?  I'm gonna be setting a pretty fast pace."

"I'll manage, Shortstop.  I could lap you if I had two broken legs."

"We'll see how big you talk in a few micros." Enzo grinned over his shoulder, striding on down the trail.  Matrix shouldered his pack and fell in behind him, measuring his pace to the boy's brisk one, knowing Enzo would slow down once his burst of exuberance burned itself out and he'd catch up.  "Matrix?"

"Yeah?"

"Sorry you didn't get to do all that stuff.  When you were me, I mean."

"It's cool.  I was with the most amazing girl in the net, so I'm not complaining."

"Yeah."  Enzo said thoughtfully.  He glanced backwards.  "Second most, now!"  With

 a grin he turned back to the trail, Matrix right behind, stifling a laugh.

There had been a dreamlike quality to the last few cycles, there was no denying it.  There was a time – and it wouldn't have been all that long ago, either – where Enzo could never have imagined the level of familiarity he'd shared with his brother.  It was as though he was seeing Matrix as a whole sprite for the first time, and not just as an admired and vaguely menacing presence.  It wasn't enough to satisfy – not by a long shot.  But it was alphanumeric, just the same.

The boy wasn't sure of the reason for the change – maybe it was just a question of the two of them being together, with no one else to be a buffer between them.  Maybe they had to talk to each other like they hadn't before – maybe that's all it was.  But he suspected it was something more – something that had changed in him.  Maybe both of him.

As the afternoon wore on and their rendezvous with Bob grew closer, Enzo's thoughts turned wistful.  Soon the trip would be just memory, and soon after he'd be back at the Academy.  Why didn't he appreciate the time he had with his family while he was having it?  He certainly did when he was missing it!  He didn't want the trip to end, now.  He didn't want the summer to end.  There was his birthday coming up and all, and that was cool.  And he'd be seeing Lisa again, and that was more than cool.  But these nanos with Matrix would be gone, and then his summer at home behind it.  And the next time he saw them all, he'd be older.  Always older – sometimes it felt too fast, sometimes not fast enough.  Why didn't it ever just feel right?

"You're too quiet."

"What?"

"You're too quiet." Matrix' voice came from beside him.  "You don't rattle on like you used to, but you're still you and you haven't said anything for micros."

Enzo felt mildly annoyed.  "Maybe I'm turning into you."

"I don't know which one of us should be scared more by that.  Seriously – what's processing?"

"I'm fine.  Just wishing we were gonna be here a while longer.  But keep making fun of me and I'll get over it pretty quick."

"Sorry." Matrix chortled.  "We got a ways to go yet, don't worry – Bob won't be here till twenty-six hundred."

"Yeah."  The boy looked around him, file-saving the images of the lush forest and the sounds of the creatures that inhabited it.  "And it'll be good to get home, I guess.  My birthday's next minute."

"Fourteen, huh?"

"Yup.  Gonna get me a nice present?"

Matrix rapped him on the back of the head.  "I already did.  I let you process for another minute, didn't I?"

"Ow!"  Enzo swung wildly at a broad shoulder, but his brother easily dodged out of the way.  "I liked you better when you didn't think you were funny."

"WARNING:  INCOMING GAME

WARNING: INCOMING GAME"

Enzo looked up, surprised at the masculine voice that broke into their conversation.  "A game?  Here?"

Matrix frowned and scanned the sky.  "I've seen it happen – these wilderness systems get adventure games sometimes.  Not very often though."

"There!" Enzo pointed, feeling a familiar rush of adrenaline as it caused his heart to speed in his chest.  A dark green cylinder was descending from the sky a short distance to their right.  "It's a game cylinder – cool!"

"I've seen 'em in a few systems.  Not as common as cubes, but the realism factor is higher."

"Should we play?"

"Play?" Matrix looked surprised.  "Why?"

"We're Guardians, aren't we?" Enzo asked excitedly.  He could hear the adrenaline causing his voice to rise to a distressingly boyish pitch, but he couldn't help it when a game was concerned.  He had the codes, after all, and they were telling him to defend – but the desire had burned in him even before he'd been upgraded.  "If we don't, the sector will get nullified – and all the animals and trees and stuff!  I'm sure there's no resident Guardian in a system with so few people."

"Not with the war on." Matrix nodded dubiously.  "But I don't know – we don't need to defend the game – there's probably no sprites here."

"But it's so beautiful!  And all those animals and their babies…  Come on, Matrix – we're both Guardians, we can handle the game.  It'll be fun."  The cylinder was falling disturbingly quickly.  "We can still make it!"

Matrix stared down at him and sighed.  "You'll never let me hear the end of it if we don't, will you?"

Enzo grinned.  "Nope."

"All right, all right, let's-"

"C'mon!"  Enzo took of at a dash through the trees, feeling the thrill of the nano course through his veins. Racing the cube – well, cylinder anyway - defending a game – there was nothing like it.

"Wait up!" his brother shouted.  "Ow!  Deleted thorns…"

"We can make it!  Hurry!"  The teenager was glad for once to be small and agile, rather than burly and powerful.

"You think I'm letting you in a game in a strange system without me?"  Enzo could hear his brother smashing through the same undergrowth he was nimbly leaping over and squeezing through.  Despite his size, though, Matrix wasn't falling behind.  "Crash!  I just stepped in something!"

"Almost there!" Enzo panted.  He skidded to a halt, the dark green of the game cylinder filling his view completely as he craned his neck upwards.  "Made it!"

Matrix pulled up beside him, scowling and picking burrs off his legs.  "Why do I let you talk me into this stuff?  Defending a game on a deserted system – it's just not smart."

"I bet you'd have done it anyway, even if I wasn't here."

"You'd lose."

"Whatever."  Not even Matrix could spoil his mood when a game was about to hit.  "Here it comes!"  Enzo closed his eyes – he always did, though he was never quite sure why – and felt a tingle of energy wash over him.  Soon after it was followed by the bracing slap of a chill wind, and he opened them to see an endless patina of white, broken only by dark gray shards of exposed rock towering above them.  They were in the mountains – and high in them, at that.  "Dude – where are we?"

Matrix shielded his eyes from the blinding glare of the sunlight reflecting off the snow and ice surrounding them.  "Everest."

"Never heard of it."

"No?  So the great Academy student doesn't know everything yet, huh?"  Matrix smiled grimly.  "I've seen this one a couple times – "Roof of the World Challenge".  We have to be the first ones to reach the summit – highest one in the User world.  The User will be coming up from the other side, trying to beat us there.  If he does, we're toast."

"A climbing game, huh?"  It sounded easy enough – the boy had been through a few simulations at the Academy.  "Free climbing or technical?"

Matrix arched an eyebrow.  "Free, mostly – but it's pretty tough.  There are some technical stretches, too – hard ones.  Be careful and do what I tell you to at all times, got it?"

"Whatever."  There it was, again – in a nano he was ten, not almost fourteen and about to be a second-hour Guardian cadet.  In Matrix' eyes, he was a child who needed protection, not a partner.  His disgust was nudged aside quickly by physical discomfort.  "Why is it so cold?"

Matrix smiled, a little smugly.  "I told you – systems with game cylinders have a higher reality factor.  Is it too cold for you?"

"No – I'm fine!" the teenager spat.  "I was in a game with Bob that was much colder than this one.  Bring it on."

"OK, Kid – don't waste your energy getting ticked off, you're gonna need it.  That extra dose of realism means we're breathing air that's way thinner than you're used to.  You're gonna get tired a lot faster than you normally do."

"Thinner?"  That was new – and just a trace of doubt began to creep into Enzo's confidence.  "I'm sure I can handle it."

"Yeah, well – we'll see.  Ready?"

"Let's do it."  Both sprites tapped their icons, and with a cry of "Reboot!" Enzo's world shimmered for a nano, and then he almost fell over backwards.  He took a nano to steady himself, then looked himself over.  Jagged metal spikes adorned the bottom of his boots, and he felt the bulk of some kind of goggles on his forehead.  Most of all, he felt the weight of his pack.

"Not bad."  Enzo looked up at his brother.  Matrix was still considerably larger, but the difference between them wasn't quite so extreme as it was in the real world.  Like his brother the big sprite had goggles on his forehead and the metal spikes on his boots, and he was dressed in a heavy coat that Enzo knew was similar to the one that likely adorned his own torso.  Matrix' pack looked huge, but he appeared not to bow under its weight.  "Good gear."

"Yeah." Enzo nodded dubiously.  He tried to stand as straight as possible and held up a foot.  "These are called crampons, right?"

"Very good.  Wouldn't get too far up here without those – that ice would send you down to the bottom of the icefall in a big hurry."

"Icefall?  Is that where we are?"

"Yup." Matrix smiled darkly.  "The Khumbu Icefall – see all those big towers of ice up ahead?  They don't call it the ice fall for nothing – those things come down without much warning.  And trust me, you don't want to be underneath one when it does."

"You're just trying to scare me." Enzo scowled.

"This is a big area for crevasses, too – you know what those are?"

"Of course!  They're like big canyons in the ice."

"Big – sometimes little.  And they can open up right in front of you without any warning – even right under you."

Enzo could see the glint in his brother's eye, and knew the big sprite was enjoying the discomfort he was causing in his brother.  "Maybe we should just stay here and toast marshmallows, if this place scares you so much."

"Just trying to prepare you, that's all.  We'll go through the icefall roped together, even though it's mostly free climbing – just in case you fall in a crevasse."

"Me?  Why me?  What if you fall in?"

All trace of humor was gone from Matrix' eyes.  "Then you unclip yourself from the rope as fast as you can, Enzo.  No bullshit – do it.  You get me?"

Enzo's jaw dropped open.  "Unclip myself?"

"As fast as you can.  We'll walk a ways apart so you'll have a couple nanos.  I'm serious, Enzo – you got it?"

"Yeah.  Fine." The boy muttered.  Let him think whatever he wants…  "Why is my deleted pack so heavy?"

"We have to carry a lot of survival equipment in this environment.  Climbing ropes, carabiners, water…  And oxygen.  You won't be able to function for long up here without it – steel oxygen cylinders.  And your pack feels heavier because the thin air makes you weaker."

"I'm fine – don't worry about me."  Matrix was right, of course – already he didn't feel quite right in the thin air, but the boy wasn't about to admit it.  "I was just asking, that's all."

Matrix scanned the mountain above them worriedly.  "Maybe I better take some of the load out of your pack – it's a tough climb to the top."

"No!  I can carry my share, don't worry."

"Don't de dumb, Enzo." The big sprite sighed.  "You know what they call the mountains, this high up?  "The death zone".  It's no place for pride – we don't have any margin for error up here."

"I'm not a little kid, Spammit!" Enzo growled.  He took off towards higher ground at a determined march, the weight of his pack feeling like Matrix tugging him backwards.  "If we stand around arguing all day the user will beat us to the top for sure!"

"Wait!" Matrix snapped.  His crampons crunched into the ice behind the teenager.

"I'm not giving you any of my gear.  I'm fine."

"Just wait."  Now Matrix really was pulling Enzo back, and he halted and turned.  "We need to get our oxygen masks set up, Nullhead!  If you want to be treated like a grown-up stop acting like a little kid in a snit!"  Enzo stood, panting heavily, wanting to snap back with a sharp reply but unable to muster the breath.   "See?  Now do you understand how tough this is going to be?"

"Just…shut up, all right?  I'm sorry."

Matrix fumbled with Enzo's pack, fighting the zipper with thickly gloved hands.  After a nano the boy felt a mask slip over his mouth and nose, filling his nostrils with a sickly rubber smell.  "You ever wear an oxygen mask before?"

Enzo nodded.  "Yeah.  Under…  Underwater.  In a diving game.  Treasure hunt."

"Good.  Same basic idea – just breathe naturally.  The rig goes right on top of your pack.  I'm setting it just about medium flow – don't turn it up unless you start to really lose it, OK?  We have to make it last all the way to the top."

"Yeah."  His voice was oddly muffled.  "No problem.  You need help setting yours?"

"I got it.  And put your goggles on – the glare off the ice will blind you if you don't."

"Got it."  Enzo fumbled with his goggles for a nano with fingers that felt thick and clumsy, then settled it over his eyes.  Immediately the headache he'd felt brewing behind his temples lessened, and he felt his breathing begin to slow down.  "Man…  That's better."

"Told you – thin air."  Matrix was rooting through his pack again.  A moment later he was stringing a climbing rope through the clip of his climbing harness.  "You know how to use one of these?"

"Uh…"  Enzo was still having a hard time concentrating – he knew he knew how, but his processor felt all fuzzy.  "Gimme a nano – I know how!"

"It's OK." Matrix smiled.  "The oxygen takes a few millis to kick in.  See this tab?  Press this and you thread more rope through the carabiner.  And this one will unclip you from the rope.  You understand?  That's important."

"Yes – I got it.  Press the tab and it unclips the rope."

"Good boy."  Matrix played out a length of rope about twice his height, looped the rope through his own harness and tested it.  "We're good here.  I'll flank over a ways to the left in case of crevasses – we'll short-rope all the way through the icefall.  Help me keep the rope from getting tangled on any obstacles, all right?"

"Yeah." Enzo nodded.  He looked up into the dazzlingly blue sky and picked out a pyramid of rock to their left.  "Is that the summit?"

"That's it."

"Doesn't look too far…"

"It's not how far it is – it's how difficult it is to get there.  You ready to go?"

"Yeah – I feel better.  Let's do it."  He gave Matrix a thumbs' up and the brothers started off across the vast field of ice, their crampons crunching loudly with each step.  The canned air was making him feel better, but his body felt run through with a persistent weakness – even lifting his legs to stride forward was harder than it should have been.

The landscape of the game was austere and harsh, but oddly beautiful.  The brilliance of the blue sky was dazzling against the white of the snow and ice, which covered every surface but for isolated outcroppings of gray rock.  As they walked through the icefall the howl of distant wind was occasionally joined by vast creaks and groans that came from deep beneath them.  "Is that the ice?"

"Yup." Matrix answered.  "It's always shifting and settling."  Enzo eyed a vast pinnacle of ice warily as they passed next to it.  Just at that nano there was a loud "crack" and the boy flinched, involuntarily, but the ice mountain appeared not to have moved.  "Just a crevasse opening up somewhere – don't worry."

"I'm not." Enzo mumbled nervously.  The jolt of fear gave him a spike of energy, but soon it dissipated and the teenager felt a malaise begin to grip his body.  The air was thin, but it's effect was as though it were thick and unyielding, as if they were slogging through heavy mud. 

Soon the ground rose more sharply as the vast towers of ice grew scarcer, and a wall of ice and rock grew larger and larger in front of them.  Beyond it, shrouded by wisps of cloud and looking close enough to touch, loomed the summit - but even in his weariness Enzo knew that was an illusion.  The peak was farther away than it looked.  "We have to…climb that…now?"

"Yeah." Matrix huffed.  "It's the most technical part of the climb.  After that it's all free climbing, maybe a couple of spots where we'll need minor gear."

The boy looked up at the wall of ice-covered rock in front of them.  He'd done more than his share of climbing simulations during his first hour at the Academy, but it still looked formidable.  "We belay up this?"

"Yeah.  I'll go ahead and set some handholds with ice screws, and belay you up.  We'll take it one step at a time."

"What about the User?" Enzo panted.  "Do we have time?"

"He's got a hard climb too – the northern route is even tougher than this one.  We'll make it.  You good to go?"

"Yeah." he nodded.  His head felt clear, but his body weak – the pack still felt like ten men weighing him down. 

"Stay put – I'll climb as far as that first ledge and set the rope, then you follow."

"Right."  Enzo was too tired to argue the point, much as he would have liked to.  Matrix started carefully picking his way up the rock face, using his small ice axe to chip a handhold into the permafrost when none was readily available.  Where there was rock he pounded pitons, and where ice covered it thickly he used ice screws.  Threading the rope through carabiners at every step, he made his way to the ledge, perhaps ten times Enzo's height above the icefall. 

"Ho!  You ready?"

"Yeah!"

"Grab the rope and get your bitmap up here, then!"  Enzo flashed a thumbs'-up, grabbed the rope that was still attached to his harness and began working his way upwards.

Heights didn't bother the boy, especially – he rather enjoyed climbing under better circumstances, and with the rope and the various anchors Matrix had left him the technical aspects of the climb weren't very difficult as long as he didn't look down.  But the leaden weariness he felt made every nano of the ascent torture – his arms were aflame with agony and by the time he pulled himself onto the ledge he knew the smile he tried to force out looked much more like a grimace.  "Made…it!"

"Good job." Matrix said with a punctuating clap on the shoulder.  "Wish we had a keytool right now – it'd be nice to know where the User is."

"I'm fine.  Let's just keep going."

"Let's switch bottles first."  Matrix retrieved a fresh bottle and reached for his brother's rig.

"I'll do it." Enzo panted, taking the canister.  "While you do yours.  Save time."

"You sure, Kid?"

"Yeah.  I know how to do it."  He knew how the mechanism worked – it was simple and straightforward, and under different circumstances he wouldn't even have needed to pay attention as he replaced the oxygen.  As it was, he slowly and carefully unscrewed the empty bottle from the apparatus, measuring every action and forcing his wearier body to obey his weary processor. 

By the time he'd inserted the new canister into the housing and adjusted the flow, Matrix had finished and was waiting for him.  "Got it?"

"Yeah – NP.  Let's go."

"In a nano."

Matrix was at his brother's back again, unzipping his pack.  "What're you doing?"

"Taking some of your load.  To speed us up."

"What?  Why?  I told you I was fine, Matrix!"

"There's no point in taking chances." Matrix scowled, stuffing equipment into his already bursting pack.  "You don't have to prove anything to me, Enzo – I don't think you're weak."

Frustration boiled up inside the boy.  "I can carry my own share, Spammit.  Just let me do it!"

"Don't they teach you anything at that Academy?  Winning the game is all that matters.  Look – you don't have to apologize because you're fourteen and I'm grown-up – it's not like it's your fault!  If I can take the extra weight and get us both up to the top faster, why the hell shouldn't I?"

"But…"  In his weakened state Enzo just couldn't make his processor run fast enough to come up with a convincing counterargument.  And if Matrix didn't understand, he couldn't make him understand.  "Fine.  Just do it."

"Stupid." Matrix muttered as he shifted more weight from Enzo's backpack.  "We aren't even going to need these that much longer, anyway – we can dump most of the equipment once we get to the top of the face.  You ready?"

"Yeah."

Matrix' pack looked enormous, but the big sprite seemed to bear it without much difficulty.  "OK – I'll work my way up to that little ice shelf up there and then belay you up.  Can you do it?"

Enzo craned his neck.  "Crash, that's not even sheer – it's an overhang!"

"It's also the fastest way to the top.  We can go around to the right if you want – it looks easier.  But it'll cost us some time."

"No – go the way you said.  I can do it."

"You sure?"

"I said I was, didn't I?"  The teenager managed a weak smile.  "I'll be fine – no point in taking chances with time when we don't know how fast the User's going."

"Fair enough."  Without further ceremony the big sprite began inching his way up the rock face, sheer immediately above the ledge but becoming an overhang as it approached the shelf of ice that was their next planned stop.  Enzo was scared just watching his brother scale the incline laden with the enormous pack – it seemed almost impossible that he could make his way up in those conditions without existing aid, but he methodically worked his way upwards, planting pitons and ice screws and leaving a trail of rope behind him.  The boy was filled with an overwhelming sense of admiration for his brother in that nano, the likes of which he'd never felt before.  Matrix was incredible – his strength unimaginable, and courage to match.  Was it really possible that he would be so powerful some cycle?  As small and weak as he felt at that nano, the answer seemed all too obvious.

A growing sense of unease about the climb gripped Enzo's stomach as his brother neared the small platform of ice.  Training or no, this was far more difficult than anything he'd ever attempted.  When Matrix disappeared over the lip of ice and shouted down a moment later, the boy tried to take an example from the big sprite, swallowed a deep breath, and began pulling his way up the rope.

Almost instantly he was grateful for the decreased weight on his back.  The difference in workload was enormous, and considering the radical steepness of the climb it was hard to imagine he would have had the strength to manage it otherwise.  But who knew what strength you could find, when you needed it?  Enzo picked his way upwards, unclipping the rope from the carabiners as he ascended past them and availing himself of the handholds that Matrix had left him.  He looked up once to see his brother's face peering down at him over the ledge, but he didn't hold that gaze.  The task at hand was what mattered now - nothing else.

Enzo broke the climb down into pieces, just as he'd broken down the cycles after he'd first left home into less-scary chunks of time.  It was better if he didn't look down or up – just concentrated on the rock and ice in front of him, on the rope and the next handhold – especially when the slope grew past parallel, and he knew his back was to the ground.  His lungs burned from the thin air and his shoulders and legs cramped from effort, but he knew he was ascending that cliff at a steady pace.  And soon – it felt almost astonishingly soon, though he wouldn't have been able to say just how long it actually was – he felt the top of his head bang into the shelf of ice and felt powerful arms pulling him atop it.

"Nice of you to join me."

"Got here…as fast as I could."

Matrix winked.  "You did a helluva job, Little Brother – nice climbing.  Now you can rest for a nano."

"Thanks, Matrix." Enzo panted, rubbing his aching upper arms.  "We better not rest for too long…  Who knows where the User is."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"OK, Kiddo.  You can rest while I get to the top."  The bearded sprite looked up, thoughtfully.  "It's not much farther…  And the slope is a lot gentler the rest of the way, too.  We could almost free climb it.  And once we get to the top of this face, it's pretty much all free climbing the rest of the way.  We'll stay roped together on the Hilary Step, but it's pretty much a footrace from here."

"Hilary Step?"

"It's a ridge, right before the summit – it's not steep, but it's a knife edge – narrow.  We'll stay roped together in case one of us falls off."  Matrix jerked his gaze back down, face set in determination.  "Take off your pack."

"Why?"

"Like I said – it's all about speed from here, Enzo.  I just need a couple of pitons and carabiners between here and the top of the face, and from there all we need is the rope and one oxygen canister each.  We'll change tanks here and I'll take that other stuff in your pack and dump mine here – we'll be traveling a lot lighter, and lighter means faster."

"Cool."  Enzo nodded.  "But if it's gonna be so light, why not just let me carry it?"

"Enzo.  We're not going to have this conversation again, are we?"

"No." The boy sighed, slipping off his pack.  Pride was clearly a dangerous companion that would always be with him – he could see it, even as he wrestled with it.  But it wasn't easy to simply swallow his pride, just like that – that's what no one seemed to understand.

Matrix took off his pack and placed it next to Enzo's on the ledge.  Both sprites changed oxygen canisters again, Matrix again finishing more quickly.  He transferred a few items from his pack to his brother's, leaving the larger pack groaning with equipment and slipping the lighter one onto his back.  "Man – that's a lot better."

The boy experimentally hefted the huge pack, and could barely budge it.  "Dude - how did you carry that thing?"

"Once in a while these muscles come in handy." His brother smiled.  "Sorry, Enzo – but it's true."  He stood and reached over his head, gently pounding a piton into the rock face.  He attached a Carabiner and threaded the rope through it.  "This'll be your first handhold, Kid.  We shouldn't need more than one or two more between here and the top."

"Right – it looks easy enough."  Matrix slipped his hammer back into his harness and experimentally tested the wall for a foothold with his right leg.  Enzo heard something –  felt something was more like it – a vibration, through the soles of his boots.  "What was that?"

"What?" Matrix frowned, stepping back down to the ledge.  It all happened so quickly that it was a blur in Enzo's processor, even as it was happening.  There was a sharp cracking noise; the ice quivered under him, and for some reason Matrix was falling.  The big sprite shouted in alarm and frantically scrambled with his hands against the rock, then disappeared from view.   The ice where he had stood nanos before was gone, a jagged-edged void in it's place.