Metal Gear: Solid Cynic
by Chris Smith
(C)MMIII/MMIV
Daria is a registered trademark of MTV Networks
Metal Gear was created by Hideo Kojima
"" "" is a registered trademark of KCEJ
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Introduction:
Metal Gear is a classic Famicom/NES game that required you to think differently about your stratagy. It was the first video game that suggested against going into a room, guns blazing all the way, and more of stealth and espionage. It would be nearly fifteen years before we would ever see another game like it. Metal Gear Solid was released in 1998 for the Sony Playstation and once again changed the way people approach the video game.
It would only be a matter of time before some whacko combined it with everyone's favorite lovable cynic. ;)
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: For those that HAVE played the game, the story hasn't really changed.
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Scene 1: A dark, small, metallic room. A blonde-haired woman is sitting on a bench, totally-naked, and pissed. She is joined by a gruff, old military commander.
Voice 1: It's been a long time, Cynic.
Cynic/Daria: I should have known you were behind this, Colonel.
Colonel: That's no way to greet an old war buddy, Cynic.
Cynic/Daria: What do you want from me?
Colonel: I just invited you here so we could have a talk.
Cynic/Daria: Invited!? That's what you call sending armed soldiers after me?
Colonel: Sorry if they were a little rough with you. But we've got a serious situation here. Only you can get us out of it.
Cynic/Daria: I'm retired from Fox-Hound. You're not my commander anymore, and I don't have to take orders from you or anyone else.
Colonel: You will take these orders. I know it.
(A woman walks into the room with a syringe)
Voice 3: Excuse me...
Cynic/Daria: Who's this?
Colonel: Dr. Claire Defoe. She's chief of Fox-Hound's medical staff and an expert in gene therapy.
(Defoe prepares to administer the shot)
Cynic/Daria: Are you military?
Defoe: No, civilian. I've been sent here from ATGC. Pleasure to meet you, Cynic. Don't worry, this injection won't hurt a bit.
Cynic/Daria: What's the shot for?
Defoe: What's wrong? You don't like shots?
Colonel: Cynic, listen up. It all went down five hours ago. Heavily-armed soldiers occupied Shadow Moses Island, a remote island off the coast of Alaska.
Cynic/Daria: What soldiers?
Colonel: Next-Generation Special Forces led by members of Unit Fox-Hound. They've presented Washington with a single demand and they say that if it isn't met, they'll launch a nuclear weapon.
Cynic/Daria: A nuclear weapon?
Colonel: I'm afraid so. You see, the island is the site of a secret nuclear weapons disposal facility.
Cynic/Daria: Fox-Hound hijacking a nuclear weapon!?
Colonel: Now you understand how serious the situation is. You'll have two mission objectives. First you're to rescue the DARPA Chief Michael Mackenzie and the president of ArmsTech, Donna Johenson. They're both being held as hostages.
Cynic/Daria: Those are some heavy duty hostages.
Colonel: Secondly, you're to investigate whether or not the terrorists have the ability to launch a nuclear strike and stop them if they do. Any questions, Cynic?
Cynic/Daria: Questions? I haven't even said whether I'd accept this mission.
Colonel: Well, you can make up your mind after you hear more about the situation.
Cynic/Daria: The chief of DARPA and the president of an arms manufacturing company... What business did they have at a nuclear weapons disposal facility?
Colonel: ...The truth is that secret exercises were being conducted at the time the terrorist group attacked.
Cynic/Daria: Must be extremely important exercises if those two were directly involved. Were they testing some kind of new advanced weapon?
Colonel: I'm not privy to that information.
Cynic/Daria: Do we know exactly where they're being held?
Colonel: The DARPA Chief has also been injected with a mini-transmitter. As you get closer, you should be able to pick up his location on your radar.
Cynic/Daria: Do they really have the ability to launch a nuclear missile?
Colonel: They say they do. They even gave us the serial number of the warhead they plan to use.
Cynic/Daria: Was the number confirmed?
Colonel: I'm afraid so. At the very least, they've got their hands on a real nuclear warhead.
Cynic/Daria: Isn't there some kind of safety device to prevent this type of terrorism?
Colonel: Yes, every missile and warhead in our arsenal is equipped with a PAL which uses a discrete detonation code.
Cynic/Daria: PAL?
Colonel: 'Permissive Action Link' The safety control system built into all nuclear weapons systems. But even so, we can't rest easy.
Cynic/Daria: Why not?
Colonel: Because the DARPA Chief knows the detonation code.
Cynic/Daria: But even if they have a nuclear warhead, it must have been removed from its missile. All the missiles on these disposal sites are supposed to be dismantled. It's not that easy to get your hands on an ICBM.
Colonel: That used to be true, but since the end of the Cold War, you can get anything if you have enough money and the right connections.
Cynic/Daria: So, what exactly are they demanding?
Colonel: A person's remains.
Cynic/Daria: Remains?
Colonel: That's right. To be more accurate, cell specimens, which contain the individual's genomic information.
Cynic/Daria: Cell specimens? Why would they want that?
Colonel: The terrorists need them. You see, these Next-Generation Special Forces have been strengthened through gene therapy.
Cynic/Daria: Strengthened?
Colonel: You've heard of the Human Genome Project. They've been mapping the human genome and they're nearly finished. Following up on this research, the military has been working towards identifying those genes which are responsible for making effective soldiers.
Cynic/Daria: There are genes that do that?
Colonel: Yes. And using gene therapy, they're able to transplant those genes into regular soldiers.
Cynic/Daria: Gene therapy?
Defoe: I'll explain this part. With gene therapy, we can remove those genes which we know may lead to sickness or disease, and at the same time, splice in genes with beneficial effects, such as resistance to cancer for example. In other words, we can overcome all sorts of genetic diseases, and at the same time, add genetic characteristics as desired.
Cynic/Daria: O.K. And so, if you knew what genes were responsible for making the perfect soldier, you could implant them in the same way, right?
Defoe: Yes...we could. But, it all depends on being able to isolate and identify those "soldier genes". And, in order to do that, it's helpful if you can study the genomic information of one of the greatest soldiers ever.
Cynic/Daria: One of the greatest soldiers ever?
Defoe: The man they called the greatest warrior of the 20th century...
Cynic/Daria: You don't mean Big Boss!?
Defoe: That's right. We've been working feverishly to identify the genes responsible for his incredible combat skill. So far, we've discovered about 60 of the so-called "soldier genes".
Cynic/Daria: So, his body was recovered after all.
Defoe: Yes, and his cells have remained frozen in a cryo-chamber. His genomic information is a priceless treasure to mankind.
Cynic/Daria: Priceless to the military perhaps.
Defoe: His body was burned severely, but it was possible to restore his DNA profile from just a single strand of his hair.
Cynic/Daria: (Disgusted) You people are amazing. And then, you're gonna transplant those genes into soldiers?
Defoe: Yes, we use a process that I discovered called gene targeting. The strongest soldiers don't become what they are by acquiring their skills through training or experience. We now know that hereditary factors are far more crucial for creating superior soldiers.
Colonel: Cynic, we can't give them his body. It's potentially more dangerous than all the nuclear warheads on that island put together.
Defoe: I hear the terrorists are calling themselves "The Children of Big Boss".
Cynic/Daria: "The Children of Big Boss", heh. Cute. ....... What's the time limit?
Colonel: 24 hours. They say they'll launch after 24 hours.
Cynic/Daria: Do they say what the target will be?
Colonel: So far they haven't mentioned the target.
Cynic/Daria: When did the countdown start?
Colonel: 5 hours ago.
(A long uncomfortable silence passes)
Cynic/Daria: Colonel, who are you speaking for?
Colonel: Naturally I'm representing the U.S. Government.
Cynic/Daria: So who's in supervisory control of this operation?
Colonel: The President of the United States.
Cynic/Daria: Which means that the President must be meeting with his top aides in the Map Room about now, huh?
Colonel: No, at this point they're still video conferencing with each other.
Cynic/Daria: If that's a real nuclear warhead, shouldn't they issue a COG?
Colonel: Not yet. The Secretary of Defense has operational control and is fully aware of the situation. After you infiltrate, if you determine they possess nuclear launch capabilities, a COG will be issued.
Cynic/Daria: Well if they haven't relocated to the nuclear shelter under Mount Washington, I suppose there isn't that much reason to worry yet. Is the National Security Agency in on this?
Colonel: Yes and so is the DIA, the Defense Intelligence Agency.
Cynic/Daria: The DIA? I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this.
Colonel: They'll be sending us some support.
Cynic/Daria: We don't need desk jockies. We need a nuclear weapons specialist. I'm just an amateur when it comes to nukes.
Colonel: Of course. A nuclear weapons specialist has already been assigned to us. A military analyst named Margaret Manson. She'll be providing you backup by Codec. She's built up an impressive record as an advisor for the Nuclear Emergency Search Team. Contact her if you have any questions.
Cynic/Daria: Where's she working from?
Colonel: At her home in Los Angeles.
Cynic/Daria: California... 'Seems like a million miles away...(Long pause)...How well armed are these terrorists? I know there was an exercise going on at the time they revolted.
Colonel: They're heavily armed, I'm afraid.
Cynic/Daria: What about their battle experience?
Colonel: The six members of Fox-Hound in charge are all hardened veterans. They're tough enough to eat nails and ask for seconds.
Cynic/Daria: I wouldn't expect anything less from Fox-Hound.
Colonel: The others are Next-Generation Special Forces. They're not your average grunts, either.
Cynic/Daria: Tell me about these Next-Generation Special Forces.
Colonel: They started out as an anti-terrorist special-ops unit made up of former members of biochem units, technical escort units and the Nuclear Emergency Search Team. Their purpose was to respond to threats involving next-generation weapons of mass destruction, including NBC weapons. Until "they" were added, that is.
Cynic/Daria: Who's "they"?
Colonel: These guys didn't start out as regular army.
(Opens a folder with a few pictures)
Cynic/Daria: Looks like a pretty international group. Mercenaries?
Colonel: Yeah, and it gets worse. Most of them were from a merc agency that I think you're familiar with. They were part of Big Boss's private guard. And after Big Boss went down, the military just bought out all their contracts.
Cynic/Daria: Outer Heaven...
Colonel: After that, they were merged with our own VR Unit, "Force 21", and retrained. If you ask me, these so-called "Next-Generation Special Forces" should be called "simulated soldiers". They have no real battle experience.
Cynic/Daria: Video game players, huh?
Defoe: Don't forget they've all been strengthened with gene therapy. They carry genes which make them excellent soldiers. Don't get careless just because they don't have much experience.
Cynic/Daria: I thought using genetically modified soldiers was prohibited by international law.
Defoe: Yes, but those are just declarations, not actual treaties.
Colonel: The interesting thing is that nearly every member of the unit conspired in this attack.
Cynic/Daria: How could an entire unit be subverted to rebellion?
Defoe: They're calling it a revolution.
Colonel: Since they all went through the same gene therapy, they probably felt closer than brothers. They see the unit as their only family.
Cynic/Daria: The Sons of Big Boss... but if they were regular army they must have been interviewed periodically by army counselors...
Colonel: According to their files, they all got straight A's on their psychological tests. They all seemed like fine, upstanding, patriotic soldiers.
Cynic/Daria: But they all took part in the uprising?
Colonel: No. Several people didn't show up on the day of the exercise. That's why there was a re-supply of troops.
Cynic/Daria: Was there any sign recently that something might be wrong?
Colonel: There was a report a month ago that they were acting strangely. Apparently, they consulted classified information about the soldier genes and performed their own gene therapy experiments.
Cynic/Daria: They can do that even without you?
Defoe: Well, our gene therapy process is almost completely automated. And besides that, they're all geniuses with IQs over 180.
Colonel: Even the existence of this genome army is a national secret of the highest order. We had been hoping to investigate this thing quietly and deal with it behind closed doors.
Cynic/Daria: Tell me more about "them".
Colonel: High Tech Special Forces Unit Fox-Hound. Your former unit... and one that I was a commander of. An elite group combining firepower and expertise. They're every bit as good as when I was commanding them.
Cynic/Daria: So they're still around...
Colonel: There are six members of Fox-Hound involved in this terrorist activity. Psycho Mantis, with his powerful psychic abilities. Sniper Wolf, the beautiful and deadly sharpshooter. Decoy Octopus, master of disguise. Vulcan Raven, giant and shaman. And Revolver Ocelot, specialist in interrogation and a formidable gunfighter.
Cynic/Daria: Looks like a lovely bunch of folks. Too bad we'll be meeting under these circumstances...
Colonel: And finally, in charge of them... Fox-Hound's squad leader, Liquid Cynic.
Cynic/Daria: Liquid Cynic?
Colonel: Yes. And you're the only person who can stand against her.
Cynic/Daria: Tell me what you know.
Colonel: She fought in the Gulf War as a teenager, the youngest person in the SAS. Her job was to track down and destroy mobile SCUD missile launching platforms... You were there too, I believe. Didn't you infiltrate western Iraq with a platoon of Green Berets?
Cynic/Daria: I was just a kid myself back then.
Colonel: The details are classified, but it seems that originally she penetrated the Middle East as a sleeper for the SIS.
Cynic/Daria: She was a spy for the British Secret Intelligence Service?
Colonel: But she never once showed her face in Century House. She was taken prisoner in Iraq and after that there was no trace of her for several years. After you retired, she was rescued and became a member of Fox-Hound.
Cynic/Daria: I thought that by the time I left they were no longer using code names.
Colonel: I don't know her real name. That information is so highly classified that even I can't look at it. Here's a photo of her.
Cynic/Daria: (Gasps)
Colonel: Pretty shocking, huh? Her skin tone is different, but otherwise you two are exact duplicates.
Cynic/Daria: I have a twin?
Colonel: I don't know the details, but it seems so. That's why we really need you for this mission.
Defoe: You're the only one who can beat her. Now that I've met you, I know. You've got something that she doesn't. I can see it in your eyes.
Cynic/Daria: Why don't I find that thought more comforting? ........ Colonel, I don't work for the government anymore. Let me go back to Twin Lakes.
Colonel: Why, Cynic? Is your life in Alaska all that great?
Cynic/Daria: There's a dog sled race this week. Next Saturday I have to be in Anchorage.
Colonel: The Iditarod? The longest sled race in the World? When did you become a dog musher?
Cynic/Daria: Right now my fifty huskies are my only family. I've got to take care of them.
Colonel: Don't worry about your dogs.
Cynic/Daria: What do you mean?
Colonel: I'm sorry Cynic, but this vessel is headed for the Bering Sea... there's no room for debate.
Cynic/Daria: I told you. Even if I do owe you, I don't owe anything to this army or this country!
Colonel: You will accept this assignment.
Cynic/Daria: Why should I be stupid enough to do that? I'm no patriot.
Colonel: Cynic, there's enough dirt in your file from your days as an agent to keep you in the stockade until you're a very old bitch.
Cynic/Daria: Oh I see... blackmail.
Colonel: No, Cynic. I prefer to look at it as helping you come to a decision more easily. But anyway, I know you better than that. You'd take this assignment even without the threat.
Cynic/Daria: Why do you say that?
Colonel: You're a natural born soldier. You're not the grow-old-gracefully type. It's the same for all of us who've seen real action. The only place we can feel truly alive is on the battlefield. I'm a soldier too. I know those feelings of powerlessness, frustration that you feel everyday... You've tried to play the girl scout out there in Alaska. But you can't race dogs in the snow forever. .... Why don't you come back to us and be a soldier again.
Cynic/Daria: You think my life is some kind of a joke?
Colonel: Cynic, I just want to give you back your purpose in life.
Cynic/Daria: Colonel, you're retired. Why are you involved in this?
Colonel: Because there aren't many people who know Fox-Hound as well as I do.
Cynic/Daria: Is that really the only reason?
Colonel: I've been soldiering for a long time. I don't know anything else. I guess even though I'm getting a little old, I still love to be in the field.
Cynic/Daria: Colonel, you're a lousy liar. Tell me the real reason.
Colonel: Okay, Cynic. Sorry. I'll be frank. A person very dear to me is being held hostage.
Cynic/Daria: Who is it?
Colonel: My nephew, Kevin.
Cynic/Daria: What was your nephew doing here?
Colonel: Several soldiers were reported missing the day of the revolt, and my nephew was one of those called in as an emergency replacement. Sad thing, too, he was about to take part in the state championship.....
Cynic/Daria: He looks like you.
Colonel: He's my little brother's boy. He died in the Gulf War, and since then I've been watching after him.
Cynic/Daria: A personal motive, Colonel... that's not very soldierly.
Colonel: I'm retired. I'm just an old man now... and I'm your friend.
Cynic/Daria: Since when are we friends?
Colonel: I've thought of us as friends since the fall of Zanzibar.
Cynic/Daria: With my personality, I don't have too many friends.
Colonel: That's what I trust about you. It's what makes you human. Please, Daria. Get Kevin out of there!
Cynic/Daria: All right. But I have two conditions.
Colonel: Name them.
Cynic/Daria: One, no more secrets between us. I want complete disclosure at all times. And two, I'll only accept orders directly from you, Colonel. No cutoffs involved, okay?
Colonel: Agreed. That's why I was called. But one thing...
Cynic/Daria: What?
Colonel: I'm not a Colonel anymore, just a retired old warhorse.
Cynic/Daria: I understand... Colonel. ......... That doctor. Is she part of this operation too?
Colonel: She was in charge of Fox-Hound's gene therapy. She knows more about those men than anyone else.
Cynic/Daria: You mean you've seen them naked?
Defoe: Make no mistake. I'm not a nurse. I am a scientist.
Cynic/Daria: By the way, what was that injection for?
Defoe: It's a combination of nanomachines and an anti-freezing peptide so that your blood and other bodily fluids don't freeze, even at sub-arctic temperatures...
Cynic/Daria: Nanomachines?
Defoe: Not just one kind either. There are different types which will replenish the supply of adrenaline, nutrition and sugar in your bloodstream.
Cynic/Daria: Now I don't have to worry about food.
Defoe: I also put some nootropics in there.
Cynic/Daria: Say what?
Defoe: Nootropics. A class of drugs which will help improve your mental functioning.
Cynic/Daria: It'll make me smarter, huh? Anything else?
Defoe: Yes, benzedrine. Its a type of stimulant. It'll keep you alert and responsive for twelve straight hours.
Cynic/Daria: That was quite a cocktail. Anything else in there?
Defoe: Those nanomachines will also keep your Codec's batteries charged up.
Cynic/Daria: I guess I can call you when I'm ready to go on a diet.
Defoe: You're welcome.
(After a long pause, Daria walks to a nearby bathroom)
Cynic/Daria: I need to borrow your hair-dye.
Defoe: What are you going to do?
Cynic/Daria: Don't worry. I just don't want to be mistaken for the leader of the terrorists.
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Scene 2: Underwater, somewhere in Alaska, a submarine fires a torpedo into a cave.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Tell me about the nuclear weapon disposal facility.
Colonel (Voice-over): The disposal facility includes a hardened underground base. Even with our most advanced intelligence gathering equipment we can't tell what's happening inside. So someone needs to penetrate, gather intelligence and report back.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Sounds like a spy movie... What's the insertion method?
Colonel (Voice-over): Well, an air insertion is impossible. Not with this storm going on. We'll approach the disposal facility by sub.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Approach?
Colonel (Voice-over): Yes, within a few miles of it. The facility is equipped with sonar detection capabilities. They'd be able to hear our engine or propeller noise.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): And then?
Colonel (Voice-over): We'll launch a one-man SDV (swimmer delivery vehicle).
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Launch?
Colonel (Voice-over): Same as a torpedo. Only this has no propulsion device of its own. After the SDV gets as close as it can, dispose of it. From there on you'll have to swim.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): You want me to swim in sub-zero Alaskan water?
(Daria climbs out of the torpedo, and it sinks to the ocean floor)
Colonel (Voice-over): Don't worry. That suit represents the latest advances in poly-thermal technology. The nuclear weapons disposal facility covers the whole island. I'll instruct you by Codec after you reach your target.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Anyone going with me?
Colonel (Voice-over): As usual, this is a one-person infiltration mission.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Weapons and equipment OSP (on-site procurement)?
Colonel (Voice-over): Yes. This is a top-secret black op. Don't expect any official support.
(Daria surfaces inside the loading dock of the base, and hears a female voice, distinctly British)
Voice: Stay alert! She'll be through here... I know it. I'm going to swat down a couple of bothersome flies.
(Daria climbs onto solid ground, and hides behind a giant pump, tapping her ear)
Cynic/Daria: This is Cynic. Colonel, can you hear me?
Colonel: Loud and clear. What's the situation, Cynic?
Cynic/Daria: Looks like the elevator in the back is the only way up.
Colonel: Just as I expected. You'll have to take the elevator to the surface. But make sure nobody sees you. If you need to, contact me by Codec, the frequency is 140.85. The Codec's receiver directly stimulates the small bones of your ear. No one but you will be able to hear it.
Cynic/Daria: Got it.
(Daria moves quietly toward the elevator, and hides behind a forklift while waiting for it to return to the ground. Minutes pass, but they feel like an eternity. Eventually the elevator reaches the ground, and Daria slips on, taking the lift to the surface, ditching the facemask and other miscellaneous swim-gear.)
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Scene 3: Daria arrives on the surface of the facility, and hides behind a box, tapping her ear.
Cynic/Daria: It's Cynic. I'm in front of the disposal facility.
Colonel: Excellent, Cynic. Age hasn't slowed you down one bit.
Defoe: How's that Sneaking Suit working out?
Cynic/Daria: I'm nice and dry, but it's a little hard to move.
Defoe: Bear with it. It's designed to prevent hypothermia. This is Alaska, you know.
Cynic/Daria: Take it easy, I'm grateful. If it weren't for your suit and your shot, I would've turned into a popsicle out there.
Defoe: An anti-freezing peptide, Cynic. All of the Genome Soldiers in this exercise are using it.
Cynic/Daria: I see. I'm relieved to hear that. Already tested, huh? By the way, how's the diversionary operation going?
Colonel: Two F-16s just took off from Galena and are headed your way. The terrorist's radar should have already picked them up.
(Daria looks onto a helipad, where a odd-looking chopper is taking off)
Cynic/Daria: A Hind D? Colonel, what's a Russian gunship doing here?
Colonel: I have no idea... but it looks like our little diversion got their attention. Now's your best chance to slip in unnoticed. There are only 18 hours left until their deadline. You've got to hurry!
Slow-talking female voice: Wow..., they must be crazy to fly a Hind in this kind of weather.
Cynic/Daria: Who's that?
Colonel: Oh sorry, I haven't introduced you two yet. This is Tiffany. She was assigned to us as our visual and data processing specialist. She designed your Codec as well as your Soliton radar system. Contact her if you have any questions about either of them.
Tiffany: Nice to meet you, Cynic. It's an honor to speak to a living legend like yourself. .... What's wrong?
Cynic/Daria: Nothing. I just didn't expect a world-class designer of military technology to be so......so....
Tiffany: Cute?
Cynic/Daria: No, that's not it. ..... Well at least I know I won't be bored for the next 18 hours.
Tiffany: I'm surprised. You're very frank for a trained killer.
Cynic/Daria: Looks like we both have a lot to learn about each other.
Tiffany: Yeah, I'm looking forward to learning about the woman behind the legend.
Colonel: We'll be monitoring your movements by radar,......so contact us by Codec anytime you want.
Cynic/Daria: Got it. I'll call if I'm feeling lonely.
Defoe: Seriously, Cynic. We're here to back you up, so call if you need some information or advice.
Colonel: Remember, except for your binoculars you're naked. You need to arm yourself with whatever weapons you can find.
Cynic/Daria: I remember. First I'm strip searched by Doctor Claire here, ...and then all my weapons are taken away. Imagine yourself put in that position.
Defoe: Well, if you make it back in one piece, maybe I'll let you do a strip search on me.
Cynic/Daria: Ummm, ohhh-kaaaaaay....... By the way, sorry to disappoint you, but I did manage to smuggle out my smokes.
Defoe: How did you do that?
Cynic/Daria: In my stomach, thanks to the shot you gave me that suppressed my stomach acids.
Tiffany: Cigarettes? How are those going to help you?
Cynic/Daria: You never know.
(Daria pulls out a pair of high-tech binoculars)
Colonel: If you want to get in, there's the front door. It's the fastest way, but there's too much risk of being spotted by the enemy.
Cynic/Daria: I can't just knock on the door and ask them to let me in....One sentry on the left......and one on the right... They're armed with five "five-sixers" and pineapples...
Colonel: What about the air duct near the door? There should also be a duct on the 2nd floor.
Cynic/Daria: I can't see it from here.
Colonel: I'll let you decide the best COA (course of action). I'm counting on you, Cynic.
(Daria runs quietly through the snowy heliport while stopping at the back of a delivery truck. She spots a SOCOM pistol, and runs off with it. Daria peeks around a stack of crates and spots an open ventilation duct. Unfortunately, a soldier has taken point. Fortunately, the guard is asleep. Daria slowly walks toward the duct, but the guard snorts loudly, preparing to wake up. He doesn't, however, and Daria crawls into the duct, and into the darkness.....)
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To be continued.....
by Chris Smith
(C)MMIII/MMIV
Daria is a registered trademark of MTV Networks
Metal Gear was created by Hideo Kojima
"" "" is a registered trademark of KCEJ
======================================================
Introduction:
Metal Gear is a classic Famicom/NES game that required you to think differently about your stratagy. It was the first video game that suggested against going into a room, guns blazing all the way, and more of stealth and espionage. It would be nearly fifteen years before we would ever see another game like it. Metal Gear Solid was released in 1998 for the Sony Playstation and once again changed the way people approach the video game.
It would only be a matter of time before some whacko combined it with everyone's favorite lovable cynic. ;)
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: For those that HAVE played the game, the story hasn't really changed.
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Scene 1: A dark, small, metallic room. A blonde-haired woman is sitting on a bench, totally-naked, and pissed. She is joined by a gruff, old military commander.
Voice 1: It's been a long time, Cynic.
Cynic/Daria: I should have known you were behind this, Colonel.
Colonel: That's no way to greet an old war buddy, Cynic.
Cynic/Daria: What do you want from me?
Colonel: I just invited you here so we could have a talk.
Cynic/Daria: Invited!? That's what you call sending armed soldiers after me?
Colonel: Sorry if they were a little rough with you. But we've got a serious situation here. Only you can get us out of it.
Cynic/Daria: I'm retired from Fox-Hound. You're not my commander anymore, and I don't have to take orders from you or anyone else.
Colonel: You will take these orders. I know it.
(A woman walks into the room with a syringe)
Voice 3: Excuse me...
Cynic/Daria: Who's this?
Colonel: Dr. Claire Defoe. She's chief of Fox-Hound's medical staff and an expert in gene therapy.
(Defoe prepares to administer the shot)
Cynic/Daria: Are you military?
Defoe: No, civilian. I've been sent here from ATGC. Pleasure to meet you, Cynic. Don't worry, this injection won't hurt a bit.
Cynic/Daria: What's the shot for?
Defoe: What's wrong? You don't like shots?
Colonel: Cynic, listen up. It all went down five hours ago. Heavily-armed soldiers occupied Shadow Moses Island, a remote island off the coast of Alaska.
Cynic/Daria: What soldiers?
Colonel: Next-Generation Special Forces led by members of Unit Fox-Hound. They've presented Washington with a single demand and they say that if it isn't met, they'll launch a nuclear weapon.
Cynic/Daria: A nuclear weapon?
Colonel: I'm afraid so. You see, the island is the site of a secret nuclear weapons disposal facility.
Cynic/Daria: Fox-Hound hijacking a nuclear weapon!?
Colonel: Now you understand how serious the situation is. You'll have two mission objectives. First you're to rescue the DARPA Chief Michael Mackenzie and the president of ArmsTech, Donna Johenson. They're both being held as hostages.
Cynic/Daria: Those are some heavy duty hostages.
Colonel: Secondly, you're to investigate whether or not the terrorists have the ability to launch a nuclear strike and stop them if they do. Any questions, Cynic?
Cynic/Daria: Questions? I haven't even said whether I'd accept this mission.
Colonel: Well, you can make up your mind after you hear more about the situation.
Cynic/Daria: The chief of DARPA and the president of an arms manufacturing company... What business did they have at a nuclear weapons disposal facility?
Colonel: ...The truth is that secret exercises were being conducted at the time the terrorist group attacked.
Cynic/Daria: Must be extremely important exercises if those two were directly involved. Were they testing some kind of new advanced weapon?
Colonel: I'm not privy to that information.
Cynic/Daria: Do we know exactly where they're being held?
Colonel: The DARPA Chief has also been injected with a mini-transmitter. As you get closer, you should be able to pick up his location on your radar.
Cynic/Daria: Do they really have the ability to launch a nuclear missile?
Colonel: They say they do. They even gave us the serial number of the warhead they plan to use.
Cynic/Daria: Was the number confirmed?
Colonel: I'm afraid so. At the very least, they've got their hands on a real nuclear warhead.
Cynic/Daria: Isn't there some kind of safety device to prevent this type of terrorism?
Colonel: Yes, every missile and warhead in our arsenal is equipped with a PAL which uses a discrete detonation code.
Cynic/Daria: PAL?
Colonel: 'Permissive Action Link' The safety control system built into all nuclear weapons systems. But even so, we can't rest easy.
Cynic/Daria: Why not?
Colonel: Because the DARPA Chief knows the detonation code.
Cynic/Daria: But even if they have a nuclear warhead, it must have been removed from its missile. All the missiles on these disposal sites are supposed to be dismantled. It's not that easy to get your hands on an ICBM.
Colonel: That used to be true, but since the end of the Cold War, you can get anything if you have enough money and the right connections.
Cynic/Daria: So, what exactly are they demanding?
Colonel: A person's remains.
Cynic/Daria: Remains?
Colonel: That's right. To be more accurate, cell specimens, which contain the individual's genomic information.
Cynic/Daria: Cell specimens? Why would they want that?
Colonel: The terrorists need them. You see, these Next-Generation Special Forces have been strengthened through gene therapy.
Cynic/Daria: Strengthened?
Colonel: You've heard of the Human Genome Project. They've been mapping the human genome and they're nearly finished. Following up on this research, the military has been working towards identifying those genes which are responsible for making effective soldiers.
Cynic/Daria: There are genes that do that?
Colonel: Yes. And using gene therapy, they're able to transplant those genes into regular soldiers.
Cynic/Daria: Gene therapy?
Defoe: I'll explain this part. With gene therapy, we can remove those genes which we know may lead to sickness or disease, and at the same time, splice in genes with beneficial effects, such as resistance to cancer for example. In other words, we can overcome all sorts of genetic diseases, and at the same time, add genetic characteristics as desired.
Cynic/Daria: O.K. And so, if you knew what genes were responsible for making the perfect soldier, you could implant them in the same way, right?
Defoe: Yes...we could. But, it all depends on being able to isolate and identify those "soldier genes". And, in order to do that, it's helpful if you can study the genomic information of one of the greatest soldiers ever.
Cynic/Daria: One of the greatest soldiers ever?
Defoe: The man they called the greatest warrior of the 20th century...
Cynic/Daria: You don't mean Big Boss!?
Defoe: That's right. We've been working feverishly to identify the genes responsible for his incredible combat skill. So far, we've discovered about 60 of the so-called "soldier genes".
Cynic/Daria: So, his body was recovered after all.
Defoe: Yes, and his cells have remained frozen in a cryo-chamber. His genomic information is a priceless treasure to mankind.
Cynic/Daria: Priceless to the military perhaps.
Defoe: His body was burned severely, but it was possible to restore his DNA profile from just a single strand of his hair.
Cynic/Daria: (Disgusted) You people are amazing. And then, you're gonna transplant those genes into soldiers?
Defoe: Yes, we use a process that I discovered called gene targeting. The strongest soldiers don't become what they are by acquiring their skills through training or experience. We now know that hereditary factors are far more crucial for creating superior soldiers.
Colonel: Cynic, we can't give them his body. It's potentially more dangerous than all the nuclear warheads on that island put together.
Defoe: I hear the terrorists are calling themselves "The Children of Big Boss".
Cynic/Daria: "The Children of Big Boss", heh. Cute. ....... What's the time limit?
Colonel: 24 hours. They say they'll launch after 24 hours.
Cynic/Daria: Do they say what the target will be?
Colonel: So far they haven't mentioned the target.
Cynic/Daria: When did the countdown start?
Colonel: 5 hours ago.
(A long uncomfortable silence passes)
Cynic/Daria: Colonel, who are you speaking for?
Colonel: Naturally I'm representing the U.S. Government.
Cynic/Daria: So who's in supervisory control of this operation?
Colonel: The President of the United States.
Cynic/Daria: Which means that the President must be meeting with his top aides in the Map Room about now, huh?
Colonel: No, at this point they're still video conferencing with each other.
Cynic/Daria: If that's a real nuclear warhead, shouldn't they issue a COG?
Colonel: Not yet. The Secretary of Defense has operational control and is fully aware of the situation. After you infiltrate, if you determine they possess nuclear launch capabilities, a COG will be issued.
Cynic/Daria: Well if they haven't relocated to the nuclear shelter under Mount Washington, I suppose there isn't that much reason to worry yet. Is the National Security Agency in on this?
Colonel: Yes and so is the DIA, the Defense Intelligence Agency.
Cynic/Daria: The DIA? I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this.
Colonel: They'll be sending us some support.
Cynic/Daria: We don't need desk jockies. We need a nuclear weapons specialist. I'm just an amateur when it comes to nukes.
Colonel: Of course. A nuclear weapons specialist has already been assigned to us. A military analyst named Margaret Manson. She'll be providing you backup by Codec. She's built up an impressive record as an advisor for the Nuclear Emergency Search Team. Contact her if you have any questions.
Cynic/Daria: Where's she working from?
Colonel: At her home in Los Angeles.
Cynic/Daria: California... 'Seems like a million miles away...(Long pause)...How well armed are these terrorists? I know there was an exercise going on at the time they revolted.
Colonel: They're heavily armed, I'm afraid.
Cynic/Daria: What about their battle experience?
Colonel: The six members of Fox-Hound in charge are all hardened veterans. They're tough enough to eat nails and ask for seconds.
Cynic/Daria: I wouldn't expect anything less from Fox-Hound.
Colonel: The others are Next-Generation Special Forces. They're not your average grunts, either.
Cynic/Daria: Tell me about these Next-Generation Special Forces.
Colonel: They started out as an anti-terrorist special-ops unit made up of former members of biochem units, technical escort units and the Nuclear Emergency Search Team. Their purpose was to respond to threats involving next-generation weapons of mass destruction, including NBC weapons. Until "they" were added, that is.
Cynic/Daria: Who's "they"?
Colonel: These guys didn't start out as regular army.
(Opens a folder with a few pictures)
Cynic/Daria: Looks like a pretty international group. Mercenaries?
Colonel: Yeah, and it gets worse. Most of them were from a merc agency that I think you're familiar with. They were part of Big Boss's private guard. And after Big Boss went down, the military just bought out all their contracts.
Cynic/Daria: Outer Heaven...
Colonel: After that, they were merged with our own VR Unit, "Force 21", and retrained. If you ask me, these so-called "Next-Generation Special Forces" should be called "simulated soldiers". They have no real battle experience.
Cynic/Daria: Video game players, huh?
Defoe: Don't forget they've all been strengthened with gene therapy. They carry genes which make them excellent soldiers. Don't get careless just because they don't have much experience.
Cynic/Daria: I thought using genetically modified soldiers was prohibited by international law.
Defoe: Yes, but those are just declarations, not actual treaties.
Colonel: The interesting thing is that nearly every member of the unit conspired in this attack.
Cynic/Daria: How could an entire unit be subverted to rebellion?
Defoe: They're calling it a revolution.
Colonel: Since they all went through the same gene therapy, they probably felt closer than brothers. They see the unit as their only family.
Cynic/Daria: The Sons of Big Boss... but if they were regular army they must have been interviewed periodically by army counselors...
Colonel: According to their files, they all got straight A's on their psychological tests. They all seemed like fine, upstanding, patriotic soldiers.
Cynic/Daria: But they all took part in the uprising?
Colonel: No. Several people didn't show up on the day of the exercise. That's why there was a re-supply of troops.
Cynic/Daria: Was there any sign recently that something might be wrong?
Colonel: There was a report a month ago that they were acting strangely. Apparently, they consulted classified information about the soldier genes and performed their own gene therapy experiments.
Cynic/Daria: They can do that even without you?
Defoe: Well, our gene therapy process is almost completely automated. And besides that, they're all geniuses with IQs over 180.
Colonel: Even the existence of this genome army is a national secret of the highest order. We had been hoping to investigate this thing quietly and deal with it behind closed doors.
Cynic/Daria: Tell me more about "them".
Colonel: High Tech Special Forces Unit Fox-Hound. Your former unit... and one that I was a commander of. An elite group combining firepower and expertise. They're every bit as good as when I was commanding them.
Cynic/Daria: So they're still around...
Colonel: There are six members of Fox-Hound involved in this terrorist activity. Psycho Mantis, with his powerful psychic abilities. Sniper Wolf, the beautiful and deadly sharpshooter. Decoy Octopus, master of disguise. Vulcan Raven, giant and shaman. And Revolver Ocelot, specialist in interrogation and a formidable gunfighter.
Cynic/Daria: Looks like a lovely bunch of folks. Too bad we'll be meeting under these circumstances...
Colonel: And finally, in charge of them... Fox-Hound's squad leader, Liquid Cynic.
Cynic/Daria: Liquid Cynic?
Colonel: Yes. And you're the only person who can stand against her.
Cynic/Daria: Tell me what you know.
Colonel: She fought in the Gulf War as a teenager, the youngest person in the SAS. Her job was to track down and destroy mobile SCUD missile launching platforms... You were there too, I believe. Didn't you infiltrate western Iraq with a platoon of Green Berets?
Cynic/Daria: I was just a kid myself back then.
Colonel: The details are classified, but it seems that originally she penetrated the Middle East as a sleeper for the SIS.
Cynic/Daria: She was a spy for the British Secret Intelligence Service?
Colonel: But she never once showed her face in Century House. She was taken prisoner in Iraq and after that there was no trace of her for several years. After you retired, she was rescued and became a member of Fox-Hound.
Cynic/Daria: I thought that by the time I left they were no longer using code names.
Colonel: I don't know her real name. That information is so highly classified that even I can't look at it. Here's a photo of her.
Cynic/Daria: (Gasps)
Colonel: Pretty shocking, huh? Her skin tone is different, but otherwise you two are exact duplicates.
Cynic/Daria: I have a twin?
Colonel: I don't know the details, but it seems so. That's why we really need you for this mission.
Defoe: You're the only one who can beat her. Now that I've met you, I know. You've got something that she doesn't. I can see it in your eyes.
Cynic/Daria: Why don't I find that thought more comforting? ........ Colonel, I don't work for the government anymore. Let me go back to Twin Lakes.
Colonel: Why, Cynic? Is your life in Alaska all that great?
Cynic/Daria: There's a dog sled race this week. Next Saturday I have to be in Anchorage.
Colonel: The Iditarod? The longest sled race in the World? When did you become a dog musher?
Cynic/Daria: Right now my fifty huskies are my only family. I've got to take care of them.
Colonel: Don't worry about your dogs.
Cynic/Daria: What do you mean?
Colonel: I'm sorry Cynic, but this vessel is headed for the Bering Sea... there's no room for debate.
Cynic/Daria: I told you. Even if I do owe you, I don't owe anything to this army or this country!
Colonel: You will accept this assignment.
Cynic/Daria: Why should I be stupid enough to do that? I'm no patriot.
Colonel: Cynic, there's enough dirt in your file from your days as an agent to keep you in the stockade until you're a very old bitch.
Cynic/Daria: Oh I see... blackmail.
Colonel: No, Cynic. I prefer to look at it as helping you come to a decision more easily. But anyway, I know you better than that. You'd take this assignment even without the threat.
Cynic/Daria: Why do you say that?
Colonel: You're a natural born soldier. You're not the grow-old-gracefully type. It's the same for all of us who've seen real action. The only place we can feel truly alive is on the battlefield. I'm a soldier too. I know those feelings of powerlessness, frustration that you feel everyday... You've tried to play the girl scout out there in Alaska. But you can't race dogs in the snow forever. .... Why don't you come back to us and be a soldier again.
Cynic/Daria: You think my life is some kind of a joke?
Colonel: Cynic, I just want to give you back your purpose in life.
Cynic/Daria: Colonel, you're retired. Why are you involved in this?
Colonel: Because there aren't many people who know Fox-Hound as well as I do.
Cynic/Daria: Is that really the only reason?
Colonel: I've been soldiering for a long time. I don't know anything else. I guess even though I'm getting a little old, I still love to be in the field.
Cynic/Daria: Colonel, you're a lousy liar. Tell me the real reason.
Colonel: Okay, Cynic. Sorry. I'll be frank. A person very dear to me is being held hostage.
Cynic/Daria: Who is it?
Colonel: My nephew, Kevin.
Cynic/Daria: What was your nephew doing here?
Colonel: Several soldiers were reported missing the day of the revolt, and my nephew was one of those called in as an emergency replacement. Sad thing, too, he was about to take part in the state championship.....
Cynic/Daria: He looks like you.
Colonel: He's my little brother's boy. He died in the Gulf War, and since then I've been watching after him.
Cynic/Daria: A personal motive, Colonel... that's not very soldierly.
Colonel: I'm retired. I'm just an old man now... and I'm your friend.
Cynic/Daria: Since when are we friends?
Colonel: I've thought of us as friends since the fall of Zanzibar.
Cynic/Daria: With my personality, I don't have too many friends.
Colonel: That's what I trust about you. It's what makes you human. Please, Daria. Get Kevin out of there!
Cynic/Daria: All right. But I have two conditions.
Colonel: Name them.
Cynic/Daria: One, no more secrets between us. I want complete disclosure at all times. And two, I'll only accept orders directly from you, Colonel. No cutoffs involved, okay?
Colonel: Agreed. That's why I was called. But one thing...
Cynic/Daria: What?
Colonel: I'm not a Colonel anymore, just a retired old warhorse.
Cynic/Daria: I understand... Colonel. ......... That doctor. Is she part of this operation too?
Colonel: She was in charge of Fox-Hound's gene therapy. She knows more about those men than anyone else.
Cynic/Daria: You mean you've seen them naked?
Defoe: Make no mistake. I'm not a nurse. I am a scientist.
Cynic/Daria: By the way, what was that injection for?
Defoe: It's a combination of nanomachines and an anti-freezing peptide so that your blood and other bodily fluids don't freeze, even at sub-arctic temperatures...
Cynic/Daria: Nanomachines?
Defoe: Not just one kind either. There are different types which will replenish the supply of adrenaline, nutrition and sugar in your bloodstream.
Cynic/Daria: Now I don't have to worry about food.
Defoe: I also put some nootropics in there.
Cynic/Daria: Say what?
Defoe: Nootropics. A class of drugs which will help improve your mental functioning.
Cynic/Daria: It'll make me smarter, huh? Anything else?
Defoe: Yes, benzedrine. Its a type of stimulant. It'll keep you alert and responsive for twelve straight hours.
Cynic/Daria: That was quite a cocktail. Anything else in there?
Defoe: Those nanomachines will also keep your Codec's batteries charged up.
Cynic/Daria: I guess I can call you when I'm ready to go on a diet.
Defoe: You're welcome.
(After a long pause, Daria walks to a nearby bathroom)
Cynic/Daria: I need to borrow your hair-dye.
Defoe: What are you going to do?
Cynic/Daria: Don't worry. I just don't want to be mistaken for the leader of the terrorists.
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Scene 2: Underwater, somewhere in Alaska, a submarine fires a torpedo into a cave.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Tell me about the nuclear weapon disposal facility.
Colonel (Voice-over): The disposal facility includes a hardened underground base. Even with our most advanced intelligence gathering equipment we can't tell what's happening inside. So someone needs to penetrate, gather intelligence and report back.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Sounds like a spy movie... What's the insertion method?
Colonel (Voice-over): Well, an air insertion is impossible. Not with this storm going on. We'll approach the disposal facility by sub.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Approach?
Colonel (Voice-over): Yes, within a few miles of it. The facility is equipped with sonar detection capabilities. They'd be able to hear our engine or propeller noise.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): And then?
Colonel (Voice-over): We'll launch a one-man SDV (swimmer delivery vehicle).
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Launch?
Colonel (Voice-over): Same as a torpedo. Only this has no propulsion device of its own. After the SDV gets as close as it can, dispose of it. From there on you'll have to swim.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): You want me to swim in sub-zero Alaskan water?
(Daria climbs out of the torpedo, and it sinks to the ocean floor)
Colonel (Voice-over): Don't worry. That suit represents the latest advances in poly-thermal technology. The nuclear weapons disposal facility covers the whole island. I'll instruct you by Codec after you reach your target.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Anyone going with me?
Colonel (Voice-over): As usual, this is a one-person infiltration mission.
Cynic/Daria (Voice-over): Weapons and equipment OSP (on-site procurement)?
Colonel (Voice-over): Yes. This is a top-secret black op. Don't expect any official support.
(Daria surfaces inside the loading dock of the base, and hears a female voice, distinctly British)
Voice: Stay alert! She'll be through here... I know it. I'm going to swat down a couple of bothersome flies.
(Daria climbs onto solid ground, and hides behind a giant pump, tapping her ear)
Cynic/Daria: This is Cynic. Colonel, can you hear me?
Colonel: Loud and clear. What's the situation, Cynic?
Cynic/Daria: Looks like the elevator in the back is the only way up.
Colonel: Just as I expected. You'll have to take the elevator to the surface. But make sure nobody sees you. If you need to, contact me by Codec, the frequency is 140.85. The Codec's receiver directly stimulates the small bones of your ear. No one but you will be able to hear it.
Cynic/Daria: Got it.
(Daria moves quietly toward the elevator, and hides behind a forklift while waiting for it to return to the ground. Minutes pass, but they feel like an eternity. Eventually the elevator reaches the ground, and Daria slips on, taking the lift to the surface, ditching the facemask and other miscellaneous swim-gear.)
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Scene 3: Daria arrives on the surface of the facility, and hides behind a box, tapping her ear.
Cynic/Daria: It's Cynic. I'm in front of the disposal facility.
Colonel: Excellent, Cynic. Age hasn't slowed you down one bit.
Defoe: How's that Sneaking Suit working out?
Cynic/Daria: I'm nice and dry, but it's a little hard to move.
Defoe: Bear with it. It's designed to prevent hypothermia. This is Alaska, you know.
Cynic/Daria: Take it easy, I'm grateful. If it weren't for your suit and your shot, I would've turned into a popsicle out there.
Defoe: An anti-freezing peptide, Cynic. All of the Genome Soldiers in this exercise are using it.
Cynic/Daria: I see. I'm relieved to hear that. Already tested, huh? By the way, how's the diversionary operation going?
Colonel: Two F-16s just took off from Galena and are headed your way. The terrorist's radar should have already picked them up.
(Daria looks onto a helipad, where a odd-looking chopper is taking off)
Cynic/Daria: A Hind D? Colonel, what's a Russian gunship doing here?
Colonel: I have no idea... but it looks like our little diversion got their attention. Now's your best chance to slip in unnoticed. There are only 18 hours left until their deadline. You've got to hurry!
Slow-talking female voice: Wow..., they must be crazy to fly a Hind in this kind of weather.
Cynic/Daria: Who's that?
Colonel: Oh sorry, I haven't introduced you two yet. This is Tiffany. She was assigned to us as our visual and data processing specialist. She designed your Codec as well as your Soliton radar system. Contact her if you have any questions about either of them.
Tiffany: Nice to meet you, Cynic. It's an honor to speak to a living legend like yourself. .... What's wrong?
Cynic/Daria: Nothing. I just didn't expect a world-class designer of military technology to be so......so....
Tiffany: Cute?
Cynic/Daria: No, that's not it. ..... Well at least I know I won't be bored for the next 18 hours.
Tiffany: I'm surprised. You're very frank for a trained killer.
Cynic/Daria: Looks like we both have a lot to learn about each other.
Tiffany: Yeah, I'm looking forward to learning about the woman behind the legend.
Colonel: We'll be monitoring your movements by radar,......so contact us by Codec anytime you want.
Cynic/Daria: Got it. I'll call if I'm feeling lonely.
Defoe: Seriously, Cynic. We're here to back you up, so call if you need some information or advice.
Colonel: Remember, except for your binoculars you're naked. You need to arm yourself with whatever weapons you can find.
Cynic/Daria: I remember. First I'm strip searched by Doctor Claire here, ...and then all my weapons are taken away. Imagine yourself put in that position.
Defoe: Well, if you make it back in one piece, maybe I'll let you do a strip search on me.
Cynic/Daria: Ummm, ohhh-kaaaaaay....... By the way, sorry to disappoint you, but I did manage to smuggle out my smokes.
Defoe: How did you do that?
Cynic/Daria: In my stomach, thanks to the shot you gave me that suppressed my stomach acids.
Tiffany: Cigarettes? How are those going to help you?
Cynic/Daria: You never know.
(Daria pulls out a pair of high-tech binoculars)
Colonel: If you want to get in, there's the front door. It's the fastest way, but there's too much risk of being spotted by the enemy.
Cynic/Daria: I can't just knock on the door and ask them to let me in....One sentry on the left......and one on the right... They're armed with five "five-sixers" and pineapples...
Colonel: What about the air duct near the door? There should also be a duct on the 2nd floor.
Cynic/Daria: I can't see it from here.
Colonel: I'll let you decide the best COA (course of action). I'm counting on you, Cynic.
(Daria runs quietly through the snowy heliport while stopping at the back of a delivery truck. She spots a SOCOM pistol, and runs off with it. Daria peeks around a stack of crates and spots an open ventilation duct. Unfortunately, a soldier has taken point. Fortunately, the guard is asleep. Daria slowly walks toward the duct, but the guard snorts loudly, preparing to wake up. He doesn't, however, and Daria crawls into the duct, and into the darkness.....)
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To be continued.....