Disclaimer: Err...planning on putting this in my
summary...eventually...ugh, but I don't own DBZ...and I never will...well,
I might someday! BUT, that is beside the point! Later dudes, oh and I DON'T
OWN DBZ! Why? Why did the weirdo invent disclaimers! [Think "plagiarizing"]
BLAH, ah, shaddup!
I'm updating again...whoa, *gasp* [It takes you long enough ya idiot!] Lay off, would ja? [No!] If I updated everyday you would have to! [Yes, but when you do that, I'll pass Algebra] Yes, they ARE both impossible! Heh! [HEY!]Read the sadness, now! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Son
Dealing with the Pain
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Goku's POV
I was sitting on Gohan and Videl's porch swing when Goten walked out, "I thought you went home."
"I did, Dad, I came back."
"Oh, I see."
"You didn't notice I was gone?"
"Uh, no, not really."
"Huh, figures, well, I'm gonna go now, c-ya."
"Ok, bye." I knew Goten was probably feeling left out, even if his brother could die, he could use some attention, too. I guess Trunks gave him some, he was the only person that would pay much attention to Trunks.
"Kakarott, what are you doing?" I turned to see a saiyan prince with a cocked head and a raised eyebrow.
"Sitting, what did you think."
"I didn't think, I asked."
"Ok, Vegeta, whatever you say."
Vegeta rolled his eyes at me, "how long have you been out here?"
That was a good question, I had been out here a good while, now. "I'm not sure, a while now."
"I figured."
"Is Gohan ok?"
"As far as I know he is, I'm not his father, Kakarott, you are."
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
Vegeta crossed his arms, "Have you been paying attention to anything."
"Yeah, kinda..."
"Well, what? You seem very zoned out."
"When Gohan dies...that's what."
Vegeta raised an eyebrow, and just sighed, "When, huh, you're using when that's a rather strong word at this point and time."
"It's a rather necessary one, though, if you ask me."
Vegeta leaned back onto the wall he was near, "...I don't really know..."
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Videl's POV
I was sitting on Gohan's bed as he tossed and turned screaming, it hurt me inside to know I couldn't do anything to heal his pain. I couldn't stop it, I couldn't comfort him. "Oh, Gohan..." I kept thinking of things we had done together in the past. I knew now that everyone else was sure of his death, but I kept hoping some miracle would save him, something would spare him.
"Videl?" Bulma entered the room slowly and looked at Gohan, she shook her head, then looked back at me, "I'm sorry."
I bowed my head and closed my eyes, "It's no one's fault, it couldn't be helped, don't be sorry, Bulma."
"I know this must be hard for you, Videl."
I looked up at her, "It is, but it's something I have to deal with." I dropped my head a little more, "I am still hanging on to the hope that he'll survive, that's the only thing keeping me going, and when he's dead, that hope won't be there anymore to help."
She looked at me pityingly, "Oh, Videl...if or when he dies, it'll be okay, at least the suffering will have ended."
I thrust myself on to the bed and began to cry again, "No! I don't want him to die, let him live!!" I couldn't help but cry when the thought crossed my mind, that he WOULD eventually die, what would I do then, this thought simply made me cry harder.
Bulma shook her head and backed off, she turned to leave, "Videl, you can't live like this, when he does die..." she stopped, not wanting to continue, and left me alone once again. I knew what she said was true though, I couldn't stay like this forever.
"Vi-del...." It was Gohan, his eyes were open, and he was looking at me, "...don't cr-y..." He shouted again in pain and continued turning slightly back and forth.
"Gohan! I have to, I can't watch this, I can't think of what'll happen and not!" I sobbed more, soaking the sheets of his bed and I wanted to embrace him, but only looked at him, wishing he could do everything he used to be able to do.
He weakly smiled at me, "B-ut, watching you...cry, it only makes it worse." He tried not to shout of scream very loudly and make me cry more, I could see he really was inanguish watching everyone else be in almost as much emotional pain, as him physically.
"I don't wanna make you feel worse." I sniffled slighty and forced myself to quit, "But, Gohan, it's so hard...too hard!"
"You can do it, though...I know you can." He reached his hand out and touched my face gently, "Videl, please, don't cry anymore." I looked at him, and stood up, then just looked at the floor.
"Oh, Gohan...why?"
-----------------------------
Vegeta's POV
Me and Kakarott sat there staring at each other for what seemed like forever, I kept thinking about what he said, what would it be like when Gohan died, would everyone mope around forever. No, no, that would be bad. They'd get overi t evetually would they.
"Vegeta..." Kakarott looked at me, looking a little curious.
"What?"
"When Gohan DOES die, what will YOU do?"
This was something even I couldn't answer, "I'm not sure, what would you do, Kakarott?"
He apparently didn't know either, and he just proceeded to shrug and look at me funny, "Will you care at all?"
"I guess, I don't have any reason really not to, but I'm not going to mope around like all of you do."
"Well, you never really did, you're not now, anyway."
"Exactly." Did he want me to mope around? Would that please him? I looked at him and just made a face, "Kakarott, do you have even the slightest hope that he'll survive." I was figuring Gohan would die, and I was pretty sure Kakarott was, too, I was just wondering.
"Not really, it seems to be getting worse by the minute, Vegeta."
I nodded, well at least he didn't have his hopes high, considering Gohan's chances of surviving were slim to none. Seeming to lean towards none anyway. I just shifted uneasily, I wanted to change the subject, but kicked myself for even thinking of the idea.
"I'm gonna go see how he's doing." I nodded, and just sat back, hopefully he wouldn't ask if I wanted to come, because I didn't. As if he read my mind, I could have swore he was smirking while saying this, "You wanna come?"
I jerked up, and got a nervous look on my face, "Yeah, sure, ok."
He shook his head and smiled, what was he trying to do make me miserable. He cocked his head, urging me to come on, I made a face and muttered under my breath, even I wasn't sure what I was saying. "C'mon, Vegeta."
I followed him into Gohan's room, Gohan's wife, was still crying over him, and he looked like he had just gone back to sleep, I just sighed and unhappily let Kakarott lead the way and I just sat back.
"Goku, Vegeta...hey."
"Hi, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, Goku, but why is this happening to Gohan is there any reason, what did he ever do?"
Kakarott shrugged and walked over to his son and knelt down, "Gohan?" I'm not sure what he was planning to accomplish, as if he was going to wake up, but then he stopped and just checked to see if he was breathing, apparently he was because Kakarott stood up again, and looked at Videl, "Did you guys talk?"
"Yes."
"What did you talk about?"
"I don't know, why?"
"I was just wondering, his breathing kind of hard, maybe we oughta get Bulma in here."
Even though he said we, the statement was addressed to me, I cocked my head and looked at him, "Why? He's okay, isn't he?"
"C'mon, Vegeta, just get her."
"You!"
"No!"
"Fine." Kakarott was really starting to get on my nerves, and I think he was doing it on purpose, but why, would he try purposely to annoy me? Well, if it helped him, just great. If it didn't, well, I just hoped it did. "Bulma?"
My wife turned the corner and looked at me, she obviously thought it was odd that I actually called her, she looked at me, "Yes, Vegeta?"
"Kakarott wants you."
She obviously wasn't confused anymore, I watched her walk down the hall, and right when she pasted me, she turned and pecked me on the cheek and left before I had a chance to react. "Argh!" Had someone declared a national annoy Vegeta day?
Angrily I walked back into the room to see what she was going to do. Kakarott quickly explained and told her to check him. She agreed, but said there probably wasn't any emergency. Kakarott shrugged and told her to do it just incase. He turned and looked at me, he walked over to the door, walking over to where I was standing and leaning on the wall next to me.
"Kakarott, are doing this on purpose?"
"Yeah, sorta."
"WHY?!"
"Because, I wanted to see how long you could be nice without exploding."
"For someone who's son is dying, you're just plain mean."
Kakarott smiled, "Well, sense you aren't moping around, I can annoy you without making you sadder, and plus, it takes my mind off Gohan."
"Kakarott, you're evil."
"Well, it's helping me out, and I know you aren't hating it that bad."
I smiled and shoved him, "Oh be quiet, Kakarott." I left the room.
-----------------
Goten's POV
Trunks and I were running around playing outside, I was trying not to think of my dad or Gohan or Videl, it would just make me feel sad. Trunks kicked up some dirt and sighed, "Goten...what do you want to do, now?" It was plain to see Trunks wanted to keep my mind off Gohan.
"I don't know, you?"
"Anything is fine with me."
"Wanna go in?"
"Okay, if you really want to, Goten."
"Alright!" We both made our way into Gohan's house and saw Vegeta in the living room, on a leather chair looking rather worn out, probably just from stress though. I was going to say something to him, but then I realized I didn't know WHAT I would say.
Trunks obviously didn't think about that, but it was his dad, "Hey, Dad, what are you doing?"
"Nothing, Trunks." Vegeta didn't even look at him, but Trunks had a very distinct voice, so I guess he just recognized it from memory.
"You look tired, what's wrong?" I decided to speak up, I mean why not ask him, even if he didn't want to make it obvious.
He just looked at me, "I'm not." Why did he refuse to tell anyone, he really DID have alot of pride, and even with saiyan pride, he had to have a little extra thrown in there somewhere. I was certainly convinced of that, and a will the size of my fusion with Trunks' ego!
"Are you sure?"
"YES! You ask alot of questions, kid." He obviously did not want to talk about why he was so stressed. Had something happened?
Trunks kind of elbowed me, nodded to his father and walked out of the room, halfway dragging me. "Goten, my dad is just stressed out now, because...well, just because."
I thought about it moment, I guess he was trying to NOT show his feelings and mope around and that might cause him to have to try to please everyone else, sometimes that saiyan prince in the other room seemed nothing like the Vegeta I used to know. "Oh, I see now, ok, I won't bother him anymore."
"Let's go see Gohan."
"Okay, do you really want to?"
"Yes, is that okay with you?"
I nodded, I should go see if my brother was doing okay and I should talk to him, too, his life could end at any second and I was trying not to think about him, what was wrong with me? It didn't seem right for me to avoid him as he was dying, I just couldn't do it anymore. "Yeah, Trunks, let's go!"
Trunks smiled and motioned for me to follow as he ran down the hall and stopped outside the door of my brother's room, for a moment me and him listen to what they were saying inside:
"He seems to be alright for the time being, Goku." That kind of sounded like Trunks' mother, but I wasn't positive.
"Ok, just making sure." That was definitely my father.
Then, we both looked at each other as we heard sobs, we both knew who that was, the one who cried about as much as my mom and that was saying something! "Oh, why does it have to be like this?"
I shook my head at Videl's comment and wondered that myself, I said nothing for a good time span then looked at Trunks and motioned for both of us to enter, I wondered if we'd be ushered out yet again, we always seemed to be. Trunks nodded and pushed the door open after turned the door handle.
Everyone turned to look at us, "Trunks? Goten? Hey, there, guys." Goku looked at us both is astonishment that we had actually come into the room without being pushed to go in, mainly me, sense Trunks went in there a little bit to see where Vegeta was.
"Hi, Dad, we came to see Gohan."
This increased in amazement, "You did?" He recovered himself, "Oh, of course, you did sorry, well here he is." He was still staring at me though.
I walked over to Gohan, "Gohan?" I muttered, unsure of what I was suppose to say, or what my last word, my brother's name, was suppose to do.
Gohan moaned in anguish and a flinched, backing away hating the sounds of my brother in pain. He struggled for a little bit, twisting and turning, over and over again. I backed away further and nearly tripped over Videl who was still sobbing.
I looked at her, "Videl, are you okay?" What a dumb question, why had I asked that, I wasn't sure, words seemed to be oddly flowing ot of my mouth.
Videl looked up at me and sniffled, "Yes, Goten, I'm sorry."
I nodded and looked at Trunks for any support, he was just looking at me pitingly. My dad was still staring at me, amazed and I really wished he would get over the fact, Gohan was my brother, what was the big deal? "Um, Goten, would you like me to get him up."
"No!" My response was a bit more forceful and quick than I had originally meant for it to be, he jumped a little.
"Ok, ok, sorry about that, I won't."
"Oh, I'm sorry Dad, I just didn't want to make him get up just to see me." Words seemed to be appearing my brain seemed oddly off right now and I just talked on, continuously.
"Oh, ok." He halfway smiled then turned and left the room, even he was a bit freaked out. What was with everyone, this was making everyone act far weirder than usual, and that was pretty weird!
Trunks looked at me and smiled weakly, "you ready to go, now, Goten?"
"Yes, by all means, Trunks, let's go." I was beginning to think he was going to sit there and let me be patronized with all this staring and stuff forever, with both left rather hastily.
Trunks turned and looked at me as we made our getaway quickly down the hall, "Sorry about that Goten, I just couldn't get my mouth to talk."
------------------
Bulma's POV
I left the room Gohan was in not to long after Goten and Trunks, it was weird that Goten had actually come in, I could have sworn he was avoiding Gohan, but he couldn't just avoid him, he had to see him once before he just died. I continued my way down the dimly lit hall, even in broad daylight it seemed dim and dull, I walked into the living room.
Goku had a look of pitying on his face and was looking down at something, he didn't even look up at me, but he had sort of a smile of relief and pity. I walked over to see what he was looking at, what I saw even made me shake my head, my husband, Vegeta, was sleeping on the couch, I think going to sleep must have caught him off guard, because he didn't look like he had purposely laid down. "He must have been pretty worn out." I looked at Goku and nodded in agreement.
"Yes, but you can't really blame him." I smiled, Vegeta always did look so cute when he was sleeping, he reminded me so much of a baby when he did. I liked seeing him sleep, and sense I got to do it so rarely, it was fun when I did.
"Oh, no, you CANNOT blame him, but I don't think he meant to go to sleep, do you?"
"No, probably not." I didn't think the thought would cross Goku's mind to wake him up, that would kind of be a little mean anyway.
"Yeah, but I highly doubt he wants to wake up, even if he refuses to admit it when he DOES wake up."
I knew it, "And he will refuse."
Goku rolled his eyes and sighed, "Well, I guess I should probably go do something else." He walked outside to the swing, which he had been sitting in for hours before, who knows, maybe he'd fall asleep, too.
"Okay." I ran my hand along Vegeta's face and a little bit of his body and smiled, "You airhead, why does it take this to make you realize you need rest?" I ran it a little farther and kissed him once again, then shook my head and walked off, I looked back at him to see if he would get up, he tried but didn't, all he did was stir slightly and moan in his sleep, then quiet down again.
I walked out of the room and laughed at him, that poor thing. I decided to find my son and his probably embarrassed friend. I found them outside, my son was laughing at Goten and telling him it was okay, probably trying to cheer him up. Goten was playing along, but apparently thinking of Gohan, "I don't understand..." I heard him mutter this slightly and Trunks did, too, we both looked at him for a moment, then they continued.
Finally, Goten noticed me, "Bulma! Hey, did you see Vegeta? He's sleeping?"
"Yes, don't wake him up, though, okay guys?"
"We didn't!" My son finally paid me some mind after Goten did.
"I know, I saw him." Seeing Trunks brought my attention to Bra and Pan, what were they doing? I know Bra had gone off to find Pan, and that was all I remembered, after Vegeta took her out of the room, "By the by, Trunks, have you seen your sister?"
"Last time I saw her she was with Dad!" Trunks looked at me for a few moments, "I think she went off to find Pan...or maybe she already found her."
I shrugged and shook my head, "Okay, I just hope she doesn't wake your father."
Trunks smiled, "I wouldn't be surprised, you might wanna go find her."
His friend nodded in agreement, and they were both correct, "Trunks is right! Bra likes to pester Vegeta!"
I nodded and turned to go, "You're probably right, Trunks, I'll see you later guys, okay!" They watched me for a minute and I could feel when they turned around and started joking around a bit.
"Bra? Pan?" I made my way down the hallway, I didn't see Bra anywhere. I looked down the dimly-lit hall way again, and a light flickered, Videl apparently couldn't find it in her to change them right now. I looked around the narrow hall, it had a few doors scattered here and there, on the left, then right, the doors were all plain and dull. On the cyan colored, flowery walls, which seemed rather anti-climactic at the moment. The pictured were of Videl, Pan....and Gohan. They all looked so happy, Videl and Gohan, even there wedding day picture
I shook my head, then I heard sobbing, my first thought was Videl, I then realized she was in the other room with Gohan. I ran to see who it was and ChiChi was collapsed in a room on the left wall, the room was purple with a bed on the far right wall and a few other things scattered about with a wood floor, like the rest of the house. There was also a carpet and an end table, and a medium sized TV with a small red armchair sitting in seeing range of it. None of this was on, ChiChi was just collapsed on the purple bed, her knees on the floor crying, screaming her dying son's name. "ChiChi, are you okay?"
"Am I okay?" She screamed in between sobs, "With Gohan in there dying?" I winced as she screeched the words to my face. "NO! I'm not OKAY! NOT AT ALL! Bulma...you don't know, how horrible."
She was right, I didn't know, my daughter was somewhere playing with Pan happily, my son was trying to cheer up Goten and my husband was sleeping on the couch peacefully, how could I relate to her pain? "I know, ChiChi, I can't, but please-" I moved slightly towards her.
She looked up, the threw herself completely back on to the bed, nothing touching the floor. I looked at the end table, a picture was turned down and the walls were barren. It was obviously her room, her guest room or whatever, but she had definitely been here awhile. Had it been that long? "Bulma, he doesn't deserve this at all!!"
"I know he doesn't, but there's nothing we can do."
"Why can't we heal him, too, just like we healed Goku?"
"Because Goku's we knew about, we had the medicine for. But now, Gohan caught something we weren't prepared for."
"NO! Gohan!"
I closed my eyes and lowered my voice to a whisper, and talked to Gohan as if he could hear me and respond again, like before, "Oh, Gohan, why does it have to be like this?"
------------------------------
Trunks POV
I looked at Goten, who had not been able to go on playing around and we both sat down and looked up at the midday sun. "Goten, it must really suck..." I knew he had to know what I was talking about.
"It does..." I looked into his eyes and then looked away, "Gohan didn't do anything wrong, it just isn't fair..."
"But, what WILL it be like when and if he dies?" I tried to cover up my original meaning of just 'when'.
"Who knows, Trunks, but we can't mope forever, we'll all get over it eventually."
I felt so sorry for him, his brother was dying and there was nothing he or anyone else could do to help or stop the process, it was a long and miserable one. Not, just for Gohan for everyone, his family, friends, and anyone else who knew him. "I'm sorry, Goten, I know it's gotta be hard, and you can't do anything?"
"I know...that's what's so horrible, I always looked up to Gohan..." Was I making it better or worse? This was so hard, I was no psychiatrist! Then, I forced my mind back to my sister, Bra, where was SHE?
"Hey, wanna go look for Bra?"
"Ok, why not." Probably just what he wanted to do, help look for MY sibling, I wasn't very good at this, looking for a sibling, what could be worse?
"Thanks, Goten, you don't have to if you don't want to though."
"I'll go, it's no big deal, really." I guess he really didn't mind, or maybe he didn't, ARGH! This was so complicated! I wanted to throw myself on the floor and throw a fit, I wanted to leave and wake up in my bed and figure out that this was a dream.
"What's wrong, Trunks?" I guess he noticed my flushed face.
"What? Oh, it's nothing."
"Ha, I'm the one who's supposed to be sad, Trunks, not you." He chuckled slightly, which made me smile, well, I had done something right at least that meant. "Don't work so hard, I don't want you feeling MY pain!"
"Heh, well, when you think about it.at least I could understand it that way."
"True, true, but still.it wouldn't be very fair."
"This isn't fair to begin with!"
"Well, you got that right, but let's try not to think about it, after all, I'll probably have to deal with him being dead sooner or later."
"That's true, but, maybe he'll live."
"Maybe." I perked up as I heard my father moan in the other room, I made my way to the living room, my dad was still on the couch with my sister swatting at Pan.
"No, Pan, stop!" Pan was busily trying to wake Vegeta up, with a big smile on her face, and Bra wasn't at all for it. At least my sister understood some things.
I walked into the living room, it was lit up far better than the hall sense everyone was in there. There was a blue couch towards the center and a TV turned off against the far wall, there was a doorway with a screen door leading into the room, which Goten was standing in. The walls were orange and the couch was a good bit longer than my dad's body so it supported him well. It was also an okay width, there was a small fireplace with a mantle with pictures and some of Pan's small toys placed on it above the fireplace on the left and some stairs on the right. Just like the rest of the house, the floor was wooden and a carpet was placed near the mantle and fireplace. It had a flowery design on it, there was also a blue armchair is seeing range on the TV and a doorway leading to the dim hallway outside of the living room. I guess the ceiling fan kept the room cool, it was brown and turned on. The room was pretty tall, because of the stairs. "Bra! Pan! What are you doing?"
Pan looked at me and waved, "Vegeta!" She clapped her hands and pointed at my father, saying his name in that babyish voice, that sometimes seemed even more babyish than my own sister's.
"Yes, Pan, what are you trying to do to Vegeta?" I said this very gently, trying to be easy and get the answer out of her.
"Wakey upy!"
"No!" Bra shouted and jumped up and down telling Pan she wasn't allowed to wake him up.
I rubbed by hand against my arm, ruffling my white shirt up a bit, "Pan." I was wearing a white T-shirt that said 'Capsule Corp' in black letters on it, and black shorts and plain tennis shoes. I put my hand to my head, "No, Pan, let Vegeta stay there, okay?"
"Yeah! Leave Daddy alone!!" Bra pulled and tugged on Pan's red shirt, nearly ripping it. Pan was wearing a red shirt with yellow shorts, with plain tennis shoes. Bra was wearing a green shirt with blue shorts, and her hair pulled back, with tennis shoes on. They were both around 3 or 4 years old.
"Bra, not so rough!" I ran over and jerked them both away by their T- shirts. "You two should go play, Mommy was looking for you Bra, and you leave D-Vegeta alone.okay?"
"Trunks!!" Bra got mad at me for picking her up like that and threw a kind of 'fit', then skipped off after Pan, sad that she couldn't get Vegeta up, had. "Poor Pan, she doesn't even realize." I obviously thought aloud.
"I know, it's sad, huh." Goten walked over to me, "Her own father." Goten was wearing a black sleeveless T-shirt with blue jeans on and black tennis shoes, his hair looked a little slightly different, a bit more cut than before and looked like the pictures I had seen of Gohan when he was eleven. Thinking of him back then, so strong, made even me really sad.
"Yeah.but, maybe it's better that way, y'know?"
"It could be."
A/N: Well, I'm done and it is updated, I started this chapter a while back and am just now posting it, but oh well, who cares! For anyone who still reads this, I'm sorry it takes me so long to update this, it's just hard to get into the mood or gist of it, do you know what I mean? Very depressing at some times.or most times anyway!
I'm updating again...whoa, *gasp* [It takes you long enough ya idiot!] Lay off, would ja? [No!] If I updated everyday you would have to! [Yes, but when you do that, I'll pass Algebra] Yes, they ARE both impossible! Heh! [HEY!]Read the sadness, now! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Son
Dealing with the Pain
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Goku's POV
I was sitting on Gohan and Videl's porch swing when Goten walked out, "I thought you went home."
"I did, Dad, I came back."
"Oh, I see."
"You didn't notice I was gone?"
"Uh, no, not really."
"Huh, figures, well, I'm gonna go now, c-ya."
"Ok, bye." I knew Goten was probably feeling left out, even if his brother could die, he could use some attention, too. I guess Trunks gave him some, he was the only person that would pay much attention to Trunks.
"Kakarott, what are you doing?" I turned to see a saiyan prince with a cocked head and a raised eyebrow.
"Sitting, what did you think."
"I didn't think, I asked."
"Ok, Vegeta, whatever you say."
Vegeta rolled his eyes at me, "how long have you been out here?"
That was a good question, I had been out here a good while, now. "I'm not sure, a while now."
"I figured."
"Is Gohan ok?"
"As far as I know he is, I'm not his father, Kakarott, you are."
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
Vegeta crossed his arms, "Have you been paying attention to anything."
"Yeah, kinda..."
"Well, what? You seem very zoned out."
"When Gohan dies...that's what."
Vegeta raised an eyebrow, and just sighed, "When, huh, you're using when that's a rather strong word at this point and time."
"It's a rather necessary one, though, if you ask me."
Vegeta leaned back onto the wall he was near, "...I don't really know..."
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Videl's POV
I was sitting on Gohan's bed as he tossed and turned screaming, it hurt me inside to know I couldn't do anything to heal his pain. I couldn't stop it, I couldn't comfort him. "Oh, Gohan..." I kept thinking of things we had done together in the past. I knew now that everyone else was sure of his death, but I kept hoping some miracle would save him, something would spare him.
"Videl?" Bulma entered the room slowly and looked at Gohan, she shook her head, then looked back at me, "I'm sorry."
I bowed my head and closed my eyes, "It's no one's fault, it couldn't be helped, don't be sorry, Bulma."
"I know this must be hard for you, Videl."
I looked up at her, "It is, but it's something I have to deal with." I dropped my head a little more, "I am still hanging on to the hope that he'll survive, that's the only thing keeping me going, and when he's dead, that hope won't be there anymore to help."
She looked at me pityingly, "Oh, Videl...if or when he dies, it'll be okay, at least the suffering will have ended."
I thrust myself on to the bed and began to cry again, "No! I don't want him to die, let him live!!" I couldn't help but cry when the thought crossed my mind, that he WOULD eventually die, what would I do then, this thought simply made me cry harder.
Bulma shook her head and backed off, she turned to leave, "Videl, you can't live like this, when he does die..." she stopped, not wanting to continue, and left me alone once again. I knew what she said was true though, I couldn't stay like this forever.
"Vi-del...." It was Gohan, his eyes were open, and he was looking at me, "...don't cr-y..." He shouted again in pain and continued turning slightly back and forth.
"Gohan! I have to, I can't watch this, I can't think of what'll happen and not!" I sobbed more, soaking the sheets of his bed and I wanted to embrace him, but only looked at him, wishing he could do everything he used to be able to do.
He weakly smiled at me, "B-ut, watching you...cry, it only makes it worse." He tried not to shout of scream very loudly and make me cry more, I could see he really was inanguish watching everyone else be in almost as much emotional pain, as him physically.
"I don't wanna make you feel worse." I sniffled slighty and forced myself to quit, "But, Gohan, it's so hard...too hard!"
"You can do it, though...I know you can." He reached his hand out and touched my face gently, "Videl, please, don't cry anymore." I looked at him, and stood up, then just looked at the floor.
"Oh, Gohan...why?"
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Vegeta's POV
Me and Kakarott sat there staring at each other for what seemed like forever, I kept thinking about what he said, what would it be like when Gohan died, would everyone mope around forever. No, no, that would be bad. They'd get overi t evetually would they.
"Vegeta..." Kakarott looked at me, looking a little curious.
"What?"
"When Gohan DOES die, what will YOU do?"
This was something even I couldn't answer, "I'm not sure, what would you do, Kakarott?"
He apparently didn't know either, and he just proceeded to shrug and look at me funny, "Will you care at all?"
"I guess, I don't have any reason really not to, but I'm not going to mope around like all of you do."
"Well, you never really did, you're not now, anyway."
"Exactly." Did he want me to mope around? Would that please him? I looked at him and just made a face, "Kakarott, do you have even the slightest hope that he'll survive." I was figuring Gohan would die, and I was pretty sure Kakarott was, too, I was just wondering.
"Not really, it seems to be getting worse by the minute, Vegeta."
I nodded, well at least he didn't have his hopes high, considering Gohan's chances of surviving were slim to none. Seeming to lean towards none anyway. I just shifted uneasily, I wanted to change the subject, but kicked myself for even thinking of the idea.
"I'm gonna go see how he's doing." I nodded, and just sat back, hopefully he wouldn't ask if I wanted to come, because I didn't. As if he read my mind, I could have swore he was smirking while saying this, "You wanna come?"
I jerked up, and got a nervous look on my face, "Yeah, sure, ok."
He shook his head and smiled, what was he trying to do make me miserable. He cocked his head, urging me to come on, I made a face and muttered under my breath, even I wasn't sure what I was saying. "C'mon, Vegeta."
I followed him into Gohan's room, Gohan's wife, was still crying over him, and he looked like he had just gone back to sleep, I just sighed and unhappily let Kakarott lead the way and I just sat back.
"Goku, Vegeta...hey."
"Hi, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, Goku, but why is this happening to Gohan is there any reason, what did he ever do?"
Kakarott shrugged and walked over to his son and knelt down, "Gohan?" I'm not sure what he was planning to accomplish, as if he was going to wake up, but then he stopped and just checked to see if he was breathing, apparently he was because Kakarott stood up again, and looked at Videl, "Did you guys talk?"
"Yes."
"What did you talk about?"
"I don't know, why?"
"I was just wondering, his breathing kind of hard, maybe we oughta get Bulma in here."
Even though he said we, the statement was addressed to me, I cocked my head and looked at him, "Why? He's okay, isn't he?"
"C'mon, Vegeta, just get her."
"You!"
"No!"
"Fine." Kakarott was really starting to get on my nerves, and I think he was doing it on purpose, but why, would he try purposely to annoy me? Well, if it helped him, just great. If it didn't, well, I just hoped it did. "Bulma?"
My wife turned the corner and looked at me, she obviously thought it was odd that I actually called her, she looked at me, "Yes, Vegeta?"
"Kakarott wants you."
She obviously wasn't confused anymore, I watched her walk down the hall, and right when she pasted me, she turned and pecked me on the cheek and left before I had a chance to react. "Argh!" Had someone declared a national annoy Vegeta day?
Angrily I walked back into the room to see what she was going to do. Kakarott quickly explained and told her to check him. She agreed, but said there probably wasn't any emergency. Kakarott shrugged and told her to do it just incase. He turned and looked at me, he walked over to the door, walking over to where I was standing and leaning on the wall next to me.
"Kakarott, are doing this on purpose?"
"Yeah, sorta."
"WHY?!"
"Because, I wanted to see how long you could be nice without exploding."
"For someone who's son is dying, you're just plain mean."
Kakarott smiled, "Well, sense you aren't moping around, I can annoy you without making you sadder, and plus, it takes my mind off Gohan."
"Kakarott, you're evil."
"Well, it's helping me out, and I know you aren't hating it that bad."
I smiled and shoved him, "Oh be quiet, Kakarott." I left the room.
-----------------
Goten's POV
Trunks and I were running around playing outside, I was trying not to think of my dad or Gohan or Videl, it would just make me feel sad. Trunks kicked up some dirt and sighed, "Goten...what do you want to do, now?" It was plain to see Trunks wanted to keep my mind off Gohan.
"I don't know, you?"
"Anything is fine with me."
"Wanna go in?"
"Okay, if you really want to, Goten."
"Alright!" We both made our way into Gohan's house and saw Vegeta in the living room, on a leather chair looking rather worn out, probably just from stress though. I was going to say something to him, but then I realized I didn't know WHAT I would say.
Trunks obviously didn't think about that, but it was his dad, "Hey, Dad, what are you doing?"
"Nothing, Trunks." Vegeta didn't even look at him, but Trunks had a very distinct voice, so I guess he just recognized it from memory.
"You look tired, what's wrong?" I decided to speak up, I mean why not ask him, even if he didn't want to make it obvious.
He just looked at me, "I'm not." Why did he refuse to tell anyone, he really DID have alot of pride, and even with saiyan pride, he had to have a little extra thrown in there somewhere. I was certainly convinced of that, and a will the size of my fusion with Trunks' ego!
"Are you sure?"
"YES! You ask alot of questions, kid." He obviously did not want to talk about why he was so stressed. Had something happened?
Trunks kind of elbowed me, nodded to his father and walked out of the room, halfway dragging me. "Goten, my dad is just stressed out now, because...well, just because."
I thought about it moment, I guess he was trying to NOT show his feelings and mope around and that might cause him to have to try to please everyone else, sometimes that saiyan prince in the other room seemed nothing like the Vegeta I used to know. "Oh, I see now, ok, I won't bother him anymore."
"Let's go see Gohan."
"Okay, do you really want to?"
"Yes, is that okay with you?"
I nodded, I should go see if my brother was doing okay and I should talk to him, too, his life could end at any second and I was trying not to think about him, what was wrong with me? It didn't seem right for me to avoid him as he was dying, I just couldn't do it anymore. "Yeah, Trunks, let's go!"
Trunks smiled and motioned for me to follow as he ran down the hall and stopped outside the door of my brother's room, for a moment me and him listen to what they were saying inside:
"He seems to be alright for the time being, Goku." That kind of sounded like Trunks' mother, but I wasn't positive.
"Ok, just making sure." That was definitely my father.
Then, we both looked at each other as we heard sobs, we both knew who that was, the one who cried about as much as my mom and that was saying something! "Oh, why does it have to be like this?"
I shook my head at Videl's comment and wondered that myself, I said nothing for a good time span then looked at Trunks and motioned for both of us to enter, I wondered if we'd be ushered out yet again, we always seemed to be. Trunks nodded and pushed the door open after turned the door handle.
Everyone turned to look at us, "Trunks? Goten? Hey, there, guys." Goku looked at us both is astonishment that we had actually come into the room without being pushed to go in, mainly me, sense Trunks went in there a little bit to see where Vegeta was.
"Hi, Dad, we came to see Gohan."
This increased in amazement, "You did?" He recovered himself, "Oh, of course, you did sorry, well here he is." He was still staring at me though.
I walked over to Gohan, "Gohan?" I muttered, unsure of what I was suppose to say, or what my last word, my brother's name, was suppose to do.
Gohan moaned in anguish and a flinched, backing away hating the sounds of my brother in pain. He struggled for a little bit, twisting and turning, over and over again. I backed away further and nearly tripped over Videl who was still sobbing.
I looked at her, "Videl, are you okay?" What a dumb question, why had I asked that, I wasn't sure, words seemed to be oddly flowing ot of my mouth.
Videl looked up at me and sniffled, "Yes, Goten, I'm sorry."
I nodded and looked at Trunks for any support, he was just looking at me pitingly. My dad was still staring at me, amazed and I really wished he would get over the fact, Gohan was my brother, what was the big deal? "Um, Goten, would you like me to get him up."
"No!" My response was a bit more forceful and quick than I had originally meant for it to be, he jumped a little.
"Ok, ok, sorry about that, I won't."
"Oh, I'm sorry Dad, I just didn't want to make him get up just to see me." Words seemed to be appearing my brain seemed oddly off right now and I just talked on, continuously.
"Oh, ok." He halfway smiled then turned and left the room, even he was a bit freaked out. What was with everyone, this was making everyone act far weirder than usual, and that was pretty weird!
Trunks looked at me and smiled weakly, "you ready to go, now, Goten?"
"Yes, by all means, Trunks, let's go." I was beginning to think he was going to sit there and let me be patronized with all this staring and stuff forever, with both left rather hastily.
Trunks turned and looked at me as we made our getaway quickly down the hall, "Sorry about that Goten, I just couldn't get my mouth to talk."
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Bulma's POV
I left the room Gohan was in not to long after Goten and Trunks, it was weird that Goten had actually come in, I could have sworn he was avoiding Gohan, but he couldn't just avoid him, he had to see him once before he just died. I continued my way down the dimly lit hall, even in broad daylight it seemed dim and dull, I walked into the living room.
Goku had a look of pitying on his face and was looking down at something, he didn't even look up at me, but he had sort of a smile of relief and pity. I walked over to see what he was looking at, what I saw even made me shake my head, my husband, Vegeta, was sleeping on the couch, I think going to sleep must have caught him off guard, because he didn't look like he had purposely laid down. "He must have been pretty worn out." I looked at Goku and nodded in agreement.
"Yes, but you can't really blame him." I smiled, Vegeta always did look so cute when he was sleeping, he reminded me so much of a baby when he did. I liked seeing him sleep, and sense I got to do it so rarely, it was fun when I did.
"Oh, no, you CANNOT blame him, but I don't think he meant to go to sleep, do you?"
"No, probably not." I didn't think the thought would cross Goku's mind to wake him up, that would kind of be a little mean anyway.
"Yeah, but I highly doubt he wants to wake up, even if he refuses to admit it when he DOES wake up."
I knew it, "And he will refuse."
Goku rolled his eyes and sighed, "Well, I guess I should probably go do something else." He walked outside to the swing, which he had been sitting in for hours before, who knows, maybe he'd fall asleep, too.
"Okay." I ran my hand along Vegeta's face and a little bit of his body and smiled, "You airhead, why does it take this to make you realize you need rest?" I ran it a little farther and kissed him once again, then shook my head and walked off, I looked back at him to see if he would get up, he tried but didn't, all he did was stir slightly and moan in his sleep, then quiet down again.
I walked out of the room and laughed at him, that poor thing. I decided to find my son and his probably embarrassed friend. I found them outside, my son was laughing at Goten and telling him it was okay, probably trying to cheer him up. Goten was playing along, but apparently thinking of Gohan, "I don't understand..." I heard him mutter this slightly and Trunks did, too, we both looked at him for a moment, then they continued.
Finally, Goten noticed me, "Bulma! Hey, did you see Vegeta? He's sleeping?"
"Yes, don't wake him up, though, okay guys?"
"We didn't!" My son finally paid me some mind after Goten did.
"I know, I saw him." Seeing Trunks brought my attention to Bra and Pan, what were they doing? I know Bra had gone off to find Pan, and that was all I remembered, after Vegeta took her out of the room, "By the by, Trunks, have you seen your sister?"
"Last time I saw her she was with Dad!" Trunks looked at me for a few moments, "I think she went off to find Pan...or maybe she already found her."
I shrugged and shook my head, "Okay, I just hope she doesn't wake your father."
Trunks smiled, "I wouldn't be surprised, you might wanna go find her."
His friend nodded in agreement, and they were both correct, "Trunks is right! Bra likes to pester Vegeta!"
I nodded and turned to go, "You're probably right, Trunks, I'll see you later guys, okay!" They watched me for a minute and I could feel when they turned around and started joking around a bit.
"Bra? Pan?" I made my way down the hallway, I didn't see Bra anywhere. I looked down the dimly-lit hall way again, and a light flickered, Videl apparently couldn't find it in her to change them right now. I looked around the narrow hall, it had a few doors scattered here and there, on the left, then right, the doors were all plain and dull. On the cyan colored, flowery walls, which seemed rather anti-climactic at the moment. The pictured were of Videl, Pan....and Gohan. They all looked so happy, Videl and Gohan, even there wedding day picture
I shook my head, then I heard sobbing, my first thought was Videl, I then realized she was in the other room with Gohan. I ran to see who it was and ChiChi was collapsed in a room on the left wall, the room was purple with a bed on the far right wall and a few other things scattered about with a wood floor, like the rest of the house. There was also a carpet and an end table, and a medium sized TV with a small red armchair sitting in seeing range of it. None of this was on, ChiChi was just collapsed on the purple bed, her knees on the floor crying, screaming her dying son's name. "ChiChi, are you okay?"
"Am I okay?" She screamed in between sobs, "With Gohan in there dying?" I winced as she screeched the words to my face. "NO! I'm not OKAY! NOT AT ALL! Bulma...you don't know, how horrible."
She was right, I didn't know, my daughter was somewhere playing with Pan happily, my son was trying to cheer up Goten and my husband was sleeping on the couch peacefully, how could I relate to her pain? "I know, ChiChi, I can't, but please-" I moved slightly towards her.
She looked up, the threw herself completely back on to the bed, nothing touching the floor. I looked at the end table, a picture was turned down and the walls were barren. It was obviously her room, her guest room or whatever, but she had definitely been here awhile. Had it been that long? "Bulma, he doesn't deserve this at all!!"
"I know he doesn't, but there's nothing we can do."
"Why can't we heal him, too, just like we healed Goku?"
"Because Goku's we knew about, we had the medicine for. But now, Gohan caught something we weren't prepared for."
"NO! Gohan!"
I closed my eyes and lowered my voice to a whisper, and talked to Gohan as if he could hear me and respond again, like before, "Oh, Gohan, why does it have to be like this?"
------------------------------
Trunks POV
I looked at Goten, who had not been able to go on playing around and we both sat down and looked up at the midday sun. "Goten, it must really suck..." I knew he had to know what I was talking about.
"It does..." I looked into his eyes and then looked away, "Gohan didn't do anything wrong, it just isn't fair..."
"But, what WILL it be like when and if he dies?" I tried to cover up my original meaning of just 'when'.
"Who knows, Trunks, but we can't mope forever, we'll all get over it eventually."
I felt so sorry for him, his brother was dying and there was nothing he or anyone else could do to help or stop the process, it was a long and miserable one. Not, just for Gohan for everyone, his family, friends, and anyone else who knew him. "I'm sorry, Goten, I know it's gotta be hard, and you can't do anything?"
"I know...that's what's so horrible, I always looked up to Gohan..." Was I making it better or worse? This was so hard, I was no psychiatrist! Then, I forced my mind back to my sister, Bra, where was SHE?
"Hey, wanna go look for Bra?"
"Ok, why not." Probably just what he wanted to do, help look for MY sibling, I wasn't very good at this, looking for a sibling, what could be worse?
"Thanks, Goten, you don't have to if you don't want to though."
"I'll go, it's no big deal, really." I guess he really didn't mind, or maybe he didn't, ARGH! This was so complicated! I wanted to throw myself on the floor and throw a fit, I wanted to leave and wake up in my bed and figure out that this was a dream.
"What's wrong, Trunks?" I guess he noticed my flushed face.
"What? Oh, it's nothing."
"Ha, I'm the one who's supposed to be sad, Trunks, not you." He chuckled slightly, which made me smile, well, I had done something right at least that meant. "Don't work so hard, I don't want you feeling MY pain!"
"Heh, well, when you think about it.at least I could understand it that way."
"True, true, but still.it wouldn't be very fair."
"This isn't fair to begin with!"
"Well, you got that right, but let's try not to think about it, after all, I'll probably have to deal with him being dead sooner or later."
"That's true, but, maybe he'll live."
"Maybe." I perked up as I heard my father moan in the other room, I made my way to the living room, my dad was still on the couch with my sister swatting at Pan.
"No, Pan, stop!" Pan was busily trying to wake Vegeta up, with a big smile on her face, and Bra wasn't at all for it. At least my sister understood some things.
I walked into the living room, it was lit up far better than the hall sense everyone was in there. There was a blue couch towards the center and a TV turned off against the far wall, there was a doorway with a screen door leading into the room, which Goten was standing in. The walls were orange and the couch was a good bit longer than my dad's body so it supported him well. It was also an okay width, there was a small fireplace with a mantle with pictures and some of Pan's small toys placed on it above the fireplace on the left and some stairs on the right. Just like the rest of the house, the floor was wooden and a carpet was placed near the mantle and fireplace. It had a flowery design on it, there was also a blue armchair is seeing range on the TV and a doorway leading to the dim hallway outside of the living room. I guess the ceiling fan kept the room cool, it was brown and turned on. The room was pretty tall, because of the stairs. "Bra! Pan! What are you doing?"
Pan looked at me and waved, "Vegeta!" She clapped her hands and pointed at my father, saying his name in that babyish voice, that sometimes seemed even more babyish than my own sister's.
"Yes, Pan, what are you trying to do to Vegeta?" I said this very gently, trying to be easy and get the answer out of her.
"Wakey upy!"
"No!" Bra shouted and jumped up and down telling Pan she wasn't allowed to wake him up.
I rubbed by hand against my arm, ruffling my white shirt up a bit, "Pan." I was wearing a white T-shirt that said 'Capsule Corp' in black letters on it, and black shorts and plain tennis shoes. I put my hand to my head, "No, Pan, let Vegeta stay there, okay?"
"Yeah! Leave Daddy alone!!" Bra pulled and tugged on Pan's red shirt, nearly ripping it. Pan was wearing a red shirt with yellow shorts, with plain tennis shoes. Bra was wearing a green shirt with blue shorts, and her hair pulled back, with tennis shoes on. They were both around 3 or 4 years old.
"Bra, not so rough!" I ran over and jerked them both away by their T- shirts. "You two should go play, Mommy was looking for you Bra, and you leave D-Vegeta alone.okay?"
"Trunks!!" Bra got mad at me for picking her up like that and threw a kind of 'fit', then skipped off after Pan, sad that she couldn't get Vegeta up, had. "Poor Pan, she doesn't even realize." I obviously thought aloud.
"I know, it's sad, huh." Goten walked over to me, "Her own father." Goten was wearing a black sleeveless T-shirt with blue jeans on and black tennis shoes, his hair looked a little slightly different, a bit more cut than before and looked like the pictures I had seen of Gohan when he was eleven. Thinking of him back then, so strong, made even me really sad.
"Yeah.but, maybe it's better that way, y'know?"
"It could be."
A/N: Well, I'm done and it is updated, I started this chapter a while back and am just now posting it, but oh well, who cares! For anyone who still reads this, I'm sorry it takes me so long to update this, it's just hard to get into the mood or gist of it, do you know what I mean? Very depressing at some times.or most times anyway!