~*- 7 -*~
Hee-I-Oh!
Writing is seriously hard. I spend lots of my writing time just planning what will happen next and to who. This took a lot of my time, because the episode is so confusing. I needed to write some parts again and erase a sweet yaoi-scene (a pity, yeah) but I'll try to put it in the next part, okay?
I was pretty right when I said that this is the most confusing episode I'll ever write, right? Hopefully I'll be able to write it clearly confusing so that in the end you know what's happened. Oh well, Link explains anyway so just sit back and relax. (Link: "Hey!")
Oh and I forgot to mention that I don't speak German nor do I know how to write it, so if you see any mistakes, please ignore them, okay? And if you're wondering why I chose German as the language the nun speaks, I won't tell you yet! Hee-hee… But there's a reason for that too. To make it absolutely clear, I don't want to offend anyone. So if I say something offending, please don't get mad. Thanks!
Yeah. The theory Roy suggests can actually be found in many books about ghosts, I'm not making that up! Some scientists or something like that actually think ghosts are based on that theory. I don't believe in it. I believe that the truth is out there…
Thanks for your reviews!
sagesumi: You thought it was brilliant? Oh wow! I was ready to accept the flames of hell for writing such crap as an ending! Eh… Maybe I'm just paranoid about my endings. Don't worry, it's only this episode, and partly that. It's kind of hard to explain… It is cute, isn't it? At first I was planning on making Roy less shy, but he would lose all his identity if I did that, ne? I've always liked it when people are confused (that is, as long as you're not completely out of it), but I also like telling you the truth little by little…
RavenGhost: Yeah! It's is pretty much only random, pointless running in circles. Confusing, eh? I know, this is a a weird episode… I still hope you like it! I'm not familiar with writing random insanity fics, but I hope it's even average…I read a few before starting to write this episode, but I'm not copying anything! I just needed a little guidance… Lil' Marth and Roy are so cute! *laughs*
---
"Hey, Marth…" The young boy called his love.
"Hm?" The prince opened his eyes.
"Good morning." Young Link was sitting on the bed, fully dressed and smiling. "It's almost eight o'clock."
"Let me sleep…" The noble had been awake for a while, but he didn't want to face the boy. He'd been awake at night, thinking. He needed some time alone.
"Okay… Just don't miss breakfast!" The elven child got up and jumped on the floor to get out of the room. "I'll go training with Ness. I love you!"
"Me too…" Marth said as the boy left. Who am I fooling? Being awake last night had really opened his eyes. It was true that he loved Young Link, but not in that way. His love was more like brotherly love than lovers' love. And he'd need to tell that to Young Link before the boy would fall completely for him. Or maybe it was already too late.
He sighed as he turned. Lying was worse than telling the truth although it would be so hard… Seeing those cerulean eyes water as the boy would realise that he'd been fooled all the time… Even the thought hurt Marth like a dagger in his heart.
I need to tell him. Today. He'll get over it by time.
But will he start hating me? The cobalt eyed man stared outside through the window. I would if someone did the same to me that I'm doing to him…
Oh god, what am I going to do?
---
Ich werde spass haben!
Roy and Link looked around themselves to see where the voice had come from, but it was too dark to see clearly. The general unsheathed his sword, but the Hylian grabbed his hand.
"No! She'll get mad!"
"Who?" The redhead asked.
"The ghost! Put that sword away before something happens!"
"There isn't a ghost! Link, gho--" something hit him and pushed him against the wall. His sword was taken from his hand forcefully and he let out a pained cry. All this happened in seconds.
Link ran to his lover, taking him in his hands and looking defiantly at the sword floating in the air. There was a strange tapping sound in the air.
"Raus!" He commanded. "Raus!"
p
p(SCENE: Inside the mansion, a huge lobby with lots of spider webs and old portraits, broken furniture from the 18th century.)
Roy: *excitedly* I didn't know you could speak German!
Link: Me neither!
(The sword points at them, glowing eerily in the dark.)
Roy: Is it going to kill us?
Link: Duh!
Roy: What should we do?
Link: Run?
Roy: …Okay.
(SCENE: A large dining hall, probably left in a hurry. Looks as messy as the lobby.)
(Both scream and run to the room. The sword hits the door with a loud noise, it's tip piercing it.)
Link: *scared* Do you think it'll go away?
Roy: *scared* Nope… My hand hurts.
Link: But it can't get in here, right?
Roy: No, if it doesn't realise that the window's open.
Link: WHAT!?
Roy: *looks at the sword* Oh, there it is. What should we do now?
Link: Run?
Roy: *panics* It didn't work the last time either!
Link: Duck down and hide?
Roy: Okay.
(They duck down and Roy crawls under a table and Link under a chair.)
Link: Did it go away?
Roy: *looks at the sword right in front of him* No.
Link: What are we going to do then?
Roy: Just die?
pLink: W-WHpAT!?http::/WHAT? p
p
"What did you say, Roy?" The Hylian crawled to his love.
"I… I don't know… I just felt like I had to say it." The general admitted, looking at him with confusion in his eyes.
"That's odd…" Link grabbed the redhead's hand and stood up. "Let's get out of this room!"
They ran to the next room, the sword following them and almost piercing the door as they shut it right before it. They had arrived to the old kitchen, there was mouldy food on the tables, and even the washing up hadn't been finished. Some pots and kettles were lying on the floor as they'd been thrown there in extreme hurry. Someone had hit the walls with a sharp object many times and coagulated blood was on the walls, making the kitchen look a bit like a slaughterhouse. The two looked at each other.
"…What's happened here?" Roy finally asked, his sapphire eyes open wide.
"I…I can im--"
'Raus!' …niemand soll… MICH bestimmen!! Someone hit the door hard, it wasn't going to last a lot longer.
"Let's worry about that later! Now we need to stop your sword and the ghost controlling it!"
"Ghosts don't exist!" The redhead protested.
"Then explain me why is there on the other side of the door someone speaking German and your sword floating around without anyone holding it?" Link snapped back.
"It could be that sometimes old houses' walls collect memories from the humans that have lived in them and when someone with energy enters the house it somehow activates the holograms of the memories, causing us to see reflexions of the people who used to live here. These reflexions are falsely thought as something supernatural like ghosts that don't exist. This is wh--"
"Oh, come on! Reflexions don't bang the door that hard! We've got to get out of here!" Link looked at the door that was almost broken.
"Why don't we fight it?"
"How do you fight a ghost?"
Roy slapped his forehead with his hand. "It's NOT a ghost!"
"To me it is. So, please follow me and let's hide until it calms down and then continue, okay?"
"Eh?" The redhead said as his lover took his hand and took him inside a closet with him. He heard a weird tapping sound, but didn't have an idea where it could've come from.
p(SCENE: The mansion's kitchen.)
(The door crashes to the floor and an eerie light comes to the kitchen with the sword.)
Link: What are we going to do now?
Roy: I don't know! Ask someone of your freaky friends!
Link: You?
Roy: *points at himself* Me?
Link: Yeah, you.
Roy: I'm not freaky!
Link: You're my friend.
Roy: I am?
Link: Well, more or less.
Roy: Huh?
Link: *sulks* Oh whatever. What are we going to do?
Roy: I don't know! Ask someone of your freaky friends!
Link: You?
Roy: *points at himself* Me? Hey, do you have a strange déja-vu feeling?
Link: Like this has happened before?
Roy: Yeah. You telling me I'm your friend.
Link: Nope, I don't feel like this has happened before.
Roy: *sulks* Maybe it's just me then.
Link: Yeah, maybe it's just you then.
Roy: *sulks* Maybe it's just me then.
Link: Hey! Now I got the déja-vu feeling!
Roy: *excited* You did!?
Link: Yeah!
(Someone hits the closet's door hard and the sword goes to the wall right by their faces.)
Both: AAAAAAAAGH!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--
Roy: Oh, cut it off!
Link: I think we should get away from here…
Roy: And why's that?
Link: Because now she knows where we are and that sword's going to kill us.
Roy: Oh.
Link: So?
Roy: Okay.
(They run out of the closet, finding no one. They run towards the door to get out, but the sword comes between them, separating them from each other.)
Link: *stops* Roy!
Roy: Link!
Link: Roy!!
Roy: Link!!
Link: Roy!!!
Oh, mein Gott…
(The sword chases Link to the other room and comes back. The door slams shut.)
Link: *hits the door with his fists* ROY!!
Roy: *tries to run to the door, but the sword comes in front of him* LINK!!
(the sword chases him to the other room, but he slams the door shut right before it.)
pRoy: MWHAHAHAHAHAA!! Try to follow me now!
p
Where's Link? The redhead looked around. He was back in the dining hall. It was still dark, he couldn't see clearly. There was a long table in the middle of it, some candlesticks that hadn't been used in ages stood on it.
What is going on here? He rubbed his temples to remember how he'd ended back to the dining hall. I was in the kitchen with Link… The sword! He looked around to see any eerie light. When he didn't, he heaved a relieved sigh.
Where are you, Link? The general walked to the door that led to the lobby and opened it, finding himself in an old bedroom filled with lit candles. The large bed seemed to be very comfortable, although the bloodstained sheets were ripped to shreds and there were bloodstained pillows on the ground.
This should be the lobby… He thought, looking at the once romantic room. He sat on the soft bed, trying to collect his thoughts.
This doesn't make any sense! I should be in the lobby! Not in an… old bedroom.
"Link?" He called shyly, wanting to get some answers.
No answer. The mansion was dead quiet. A shiver ran down his spine, causing him to get goosebumps.
Why are these sheets bloody? Why does this mansion look like someone's killed a lot of people here? I want to get out of here! The redhead ran to the door and opened it, looking into the same bedroom.
What the--!? He looked back, seeing the same room. This shouldn't be another identical bedroom! This should be the dining hall!
"Link!!" he called desperately as a child who needs guidance as he wandered around.
---
"ROY!!" The Blonde hit the door with his fists many times, wondering why the redhead was always taken from him. His mind tried to scare him with images of Roy killed by his own sword, but he pushed them away.
I need to find him and go to him now! He doesn't know what to do if she attacks him!
"RAUS!!" he shouted, wanting the ghost to follow him. "Arschloch!"
WAS!?
"Arschloch! Du bist ein Arschloch!" Boy, I'm happy that Zelda taught me how to swear in German!
Creepy laughter. It echoed in the walls somehow invading his head with it's annoying sound. He couldn't cover his ears from it. It suddenly started to repeat:
Roy… Mein Roy… Du bist mein… ich werde dich ermorden!
"NO!" Link hit the door with his fists. "NEIN!!"
The voice faded away and Link stopped banging the door. It was no use. He needed to think fast. This wasn't just an ordinary ghost hunt like he had thought it would've been.
The Hylian turned around and looked at the huge library in front of him. There were huge bookcases, lots of old dusty books and a few old armchairs in the dim light of a bulb that was hanging from the high ceiling. Someone had ripped some books into shreds and tossed them around the library. There was some coagulated blood on the armchairs, but no signs of any battle. Everything was covered with a thick layer of dust.
He took a shred book from the ground and looked at the title.
'The Best of German Humour'…? Interesting… The elf started to put the clues together he had. He walked to the bloody armchair and sat down on it. He stared at the painted ceiling, thinking for a long while.
The Garden… That's where she walks at night with her beloved. But why is there blood in this house? And a strange tapping sound… Suddenly Link bolted on his feet and ran to the window.
So that's why! It's got to be that!
"Roy!!" He's really in danger! We need to stay together now! I don't know what she's already done to him, but I've got to find him! The Hero opened the door that was supposed to bring him to the kitchen, but he found himself in the lobby.
Oh, no! He looked at the redhead, who had walked upstairs and went to a room.
"Roy! Wait!" The Hylian followed him, but stopped as the boy didn't seem to hear him. He heard the tapping sound again, trying to see where it came from.
"Roy?"
No answer. The boy had gone to the room without even glancing back. Link walked to the door and looked at the handle. He wasn't sure should he follow.
p
p(SCENE: The lobby.)
Link: Should I enter or shouldn't I…? Now that is a question… *sees the sword floating at him with incredible speed* Uh-oh. I guess I should!
(SCENE: An old bedroom)
Link: *enters* What the--!?
Roy: *comes in* Hiya! I didn't know I'd find you here!
Link: Oh, there you are! *hugs Roy* We're in great dang--!! Dang--!!
Roy: Umm… Dang?
Link: I can't finish the word!
Roy: You mean dung?
Link: --er! How do you spell it?
Roy: D-U-N?
Link: *rubbing his temples* Dun? No, D-A-N-G--, D-A-N-G--, D-A-N-G--!!
Roy: *dramatically* DUN DUN DUN!!
Link *comes in* Oh, hi! I didn't know you were here, Roy!
Roy: What the--!?
Link: Who's that?
Roy: Who're you?
Link: Why's he here?
Roy: Who are you two?
Link: I'm Link, but who is he?
Link: No, I'm you!
Roy: *confused* You are him and he's you?
Link: No, I'm me! He's me!
Link: No, you're not me, because I'm you!
Roy: Why are there two of you?
Roy: *comes in* Oh, hello Link! I finally found you!
Link: Who're you?
Roy: I'm Roy. Who're you?
Roy: I'm Roy, so you can't be me!
Link: Which one of you is my Roy?
Roy: I am!
Roy: No, you're not!
Roy: Am too!
Link: *confused* Eh?
Link: Me too.
Link: So who're you?
Link: I'm me.
Link: But I'm me.
Link: But I'm me!
Roy: I'm me!
Link: I'm me!
Link: Who's me?
Roy: I am Link!
Link: I AM Link!
Roy: No, you're Roy!
Roy: What the--!?
DMC: *comes in* MWHAHAHA!! *coughs*
All: Who the hell are you?
DMC: Me?
Link: Yeah, you!
DMC: I'm the auth-- …err… just an innocent bystander! *grabs Roy and runs away* Hey, insane fangirls! A Roy for sale! *voice fades away*
Roy: *rolls eyes* Now that was weird.
Link: Okay, so who is me?
Roy: I don't know.
Link: *leaves* Follow me, Roy. Let's get out of here.
Roy: Eh? How do I know if you're not Link?
Link: But I am Link!
Roy: Then who's that? *points at Link*
Link: *leaves* See ya!
Roy: Wait! *runs against the door* Ow…
Link: So that's Link? Abandoning you like that?
Roy: I don't know.
Link: *leaves* Me neither.
Roy: Wait! Don't leave me! *runs against the door* Owwie… *opens it and sees the Hollywood letters* Ooooookay… *goes back inside*
p
p
The general looked at the bedroom. This was absolutely the weirdest thing he had ever experienced. He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't seeing dreams.
Oh, god. I have no clue what's going on… He leaned his back against the wall. Maybe I've been drugged. Where was I before we got here? How did we get here? WHY are we here?
I… don't know. Maybe I'm really drugged. The redheaded teen thought and thus had created a theory he accepted in his mind. Then the effect on me will eventually wear off… All I need to do is wait. Roy closed his eyes, but felt the same feeling that he had experienced several times before.
I'm… going to… die… Why do I feel like this? I didn't die when Link pierced me nor when I was taking care of Peach and Zelda! I just KNOW… I'll die soon… He stared at his feet. It's not a hunch… I know it.
He forced the thought away from his mind and opened the door again, hoping to find the Hylian. The room on the other side of the door was the bloody kitchen. He stepped inside, leaving the door open behind him.
Ich werde dich ermorden!!
---
Marth walked downstairs, afraid to meet the young elf. He wanted to run away and vanish so that he wouldn't need to tell the boy the truth, but it would be what a coward would do.
He assured himself that he had turned away so many beautiful young girls who had wanted to marry him or to go out with him or something like that, a young boy wouldn't be any harder.
It was true that Young Link was cute, his large cerulean eyes affected Marth in a weird way. He couldn't control his thoughts and he somehow said what the elven boy wanted for him to say. But the prince knew that being with someone so much younger was wrong. A prince couldn't be in love with a child, that would be absurd!
So he had thought. And thought. And thought. Finally he had decided that his love towards the tiny Hylian was nothing but friendly and brotherly. All their kisses had been because… because Young Link had needed them. They'd been given to comfort him, to show him that someone cared.
"Hi, Marth!" Zelda greeted him cheerfully. "You slept late today!"
"Hi, yeah…" he avoided the princess's gaze.
"Is everything alright?"
"…Kind of." The noble didn't want to talk to her about his problems. He'd probably first speak with Link, who knew how Young Link would react before telling the boy. And maybe the Hylian could help him somehow.
No magic trick's going to save me… I have to confess myself, otherwise he'll hate me twice as much… He walked to the living room and sat down, waiting for breakfast to get ready.
"And then there was this girl with an awesome body and we danced a little and then she said to me that--"
"Do you have any matches today?" Peach cut off Captain Falcon as she noticed that no one was interested in what he was saying. The driver looked at her with a questioning look and said:
"Ya, I'm training with Ganondorf!"
"Are you training with someone today, Marth?" Young Link startled him by jumping in his lap and he gasped. When he realised who it was, he smiled a kind smile, his thoughts sad.
"No. Would you train with me?" he asked, making a decision to tell the boy then. But first he'd speak with Link to know what to say because the Hylians were the same person after all.
When they were having breakfast, the Ice Climbers suddenly asked:
"Where are Link and Roy?"
"They like to sleep late… I guess we should go and wake them up." Young Link asnwered, looking directly into Nana's eyes.
"Eat your breakfast first. It's their problem if they miss it, not yours." Peach said, trying to sound kind.
"I just wonder… they've never actually missed breakfast."
"Stop being paranoid, kid. They haven't gone missing, that would be too nice to do to me." Ganondorf said seriously, his eyes never met with the small blonde's.
"I hope they haven't…"
---
Roy tried to take his sword, but remembered that it was flying freely around the house, searching for the two of them to pierce them. He could do nothing but stare at the nun, who walked to his sight through the wall. She was floating in the air far away from him, but he could see her scarred face, her empty eyes. She was holding a large bloody knife.
This… is not happening! I'm drugged! Drugged! DRUGGED! He repeated in his head as panic tried to rise in him. I've got nothing to worry about. The redhead had frozen and couldn't move.
The nun smiled a smile that made the chills run down Roy's spine.
Ich werde dich ermorden… She repeated. Her voice was chilling, cold like ice. The general just looked at her, his eyes glassy.
This is it… I feel it stronger than ever befor… But how can it be this strong if I'm drugged?
"Roy!" Link came to the room. "There you are! I've been looking for you!" The Hylian froze as he saw the ghost nun.
She does have a head… So that part of the story was just exaggerating…
He stared at the terrifyingly beautiful nun his mouth open wide. Now Roy had seen a ghost and he could do nothing but believe. He snapped out of it when he felt the general grabbing his hand, still staring at the nun with no expression on his face. "Come on, Roy! We've got to get away from her! I know what's going on!"
"I'm drugged." The redhead ascertained, not moving in any direction.
"No, you're not! This is real! That ghost is REAL! I am real!" Link shook his beloved from his shoulders. The general looked into his eyes, but his look seemed to go right through him.
The Blonde pressed his lips on Roy's, making him snap out of it. Then he took his hand and guided him through the door to the lobby.
"Roy! The nun! I know everything now!" he finally said when it was peaceful and the nun didn't seem to follow them.
"Well, let's hear what you say…" The general said and rolled his eyes.
"I'm not sure how much I'll be able to tell before—before--" Link looked at Roy. "Before I'll be--"
"Spit it out."
p(SCENE: The mansion's lobby)
Link: Before I'll be--
Roy: Be what?
Link: I'll be--!!!
Roy: *rises eyebrows* Umm… Are you suggesting something?
Link: *desperately* It's no use…
Roy: What?
Link: Never mind.
Roy: Never mind what?
Link: Never mind.
Roy: Oh.
(Silence)
Link: So… You're not going to ask me what?
Roy: No. You already said Never mind.
Link: When?
Roy: *a script pops in the air and he grabs it* Just… umm… here. A few seconds ago.
Link: Where'd you get that? *points at the script*
Roy: It just popped in the air.
Link: Does it say what we should do next?
Roy: Hmm… "Jean Valjean comes in and tries to kill the both of them."
Link: Who's that? Oh well, I can't see anyone. Are you sure that's our script?
Roy: No.
Link: Show me the title.
Roy: There. *points at the title "Les Misérables"*
Link: Hmm… According to this my name should be… no, I'm not even going to try to pronounce that.
Roy: Maybe it's the wrong script then. Let's try this one. *another script pops in the air and he grabs it*
Link: *tosses away the other script* Now, is that our?
Roy: "The Smash Files"? What a crappy name.
Link: Lack of imagination. Tell me what should we do.
Roy: Hmm… "MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Link: *confused* Eh?
Roy: That's what it says. From beginning to the end.
Link: Someone's got a sick sense of humour. So, what should we do then?
Roy: Create the script. Kiss a baby. Pat a dog. Get serious.
Link: How?
Roy: Like: What is going on here?
Link: The nun's ghost is chasing us?
py: I feel//ide=1398796&/ odd.. p
p
"I want to get out of here." The general opened the front door, finding the bedroom.
I can't… UNDERSTAND!! He closed the door and opened it again, seeing the same bedroom.
"We should get out through this door. Why can't we?" He asked, not sure did he want to hear the answer the blonde would give him.
"I can't say it yet. She always stops me." Link answered.
Roy didn't want to hear any of his beloved's theories and walked to the room. He sat on the edge of the bed, looking at his feet.
I'm drugged. I'm so drugged. It must've been a strong drug to cause me so many hallucinations that feel so real.
Link looked at him sadly for a while before following him and climbing on the bed silently, without saying a word. He didn't need words to know Roy wasn't all right. Being curious about what was happening to Roy
They sat on the bloody bed in the bedroom in silence for a while, Link worrying about Roy's reactions, how his hands trembled, how he silently repeated that he was drugged, how everything was only his imagination. It was sad how he closed his mind so easily. The fact that he'd seen a ghost a while ago was too much for his mind to handle, he tried to push it away, but it haunted him like a nightmare. He was like a child who had seen something scary, who knew there was something under his bed and couldn't stop thinking about it no matter what. At times he turned to Link with confusion in his eyes and opened his mouth to ask something but every time he started thinking again and left the question unasked.
The Hylian wanted to ask, wanted to talk, but he knew Roy wouldn't answer. His mind was too closed to understand. The blonde finally reached for the general, who gasped and jerked away slightly as he touched him. Their eyes met, but the redhead looked quickly away.
"Roy… Come here." Link invited him and pulled him near, closing him in a caring embrace.
Why do you feel so real? Roy thought as he hugged the Hero. This is all just a deep dream…. You shouldn't feel so warm and so loving.
"Link…" he nuzzled his nose to the elf's neck, feeling safer already.
The Hylian pressed him closer and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment they could be alone. He swore to himself that if the ghost nun ruined their moment together, he would send her to the hottest hell with his bare hands.
After a while Roy moved his head and mumbled something to his neck. Inside Link was excited, maybe the general would like to talk about it, but he kept his cool.
"What?" he gave the boy a kiss on his flaming red hair.
"…Why are we here?"
---
Woo, 2nd part done. I'm pretty sure that you're still confused, but I hope that I've made even something a little clearer. I truly hope that you didn't cry because the jokes suck so bad. Well, they're not the main idea, so you can probably live with them if I can too. And I'M the person uploading this crap on the Internet. Oh well, I hope you liked it.
I thought that it's fair to put some translations of the ghost's speech for those who can't understand German like myself:
Ich werde spass haben = I will have fun
Raus! = Out!
Niemand soll mich bestimmen! = No one commands me!
Oh, mein Gott = Oh, my god
Arschloch! = Asshole!
Was? = What?
Du bist ein Arschloch! = You're an asshole!
Mein Roy… Du bist mein… = My Roy… You're mine…
Ich werde dich ermorden! = I'll murder you!
Nein! = No!
Thanks for reading, I'll update as soon as I can!
~*- 7 -*~