Going For a Song
Author's note: My first ever drabble, planned over two years and reduced from five pages to this in under half an hour. It all started when I finished reading PoA, and found myself thinking that no way could Snape have written the riddle back in Philosopher's Stone on his own.None of them are mine, for which I'm kinda glad. I'm just hitching a ride on Rowling's cash-cow.
"Marshmellow pops." Feeling ridiculous, Severus Snape sneaked into the headmaster's office. The office was open to him- as long as he asked. Albus wasn't even supposed to know he had the password. Gritting his teeth, he strode to the middle of the room and did it.
"What's this then? Hey, I've done you before. Snape, Severus the II. Slytherin to the core. Bit old to change."
"Shut up." He told it. "I'm not here to be bloody sorted."
"Not happy with last year's batch, then? Come to threaten me?" The voice was blustery, but creaked like old leather.
"Hardly." It felt silly, sneering at a hat while wearing it, but force of habit prevailed. "I need a song."
"It'll be ready by the first." The hat protested.
"Not that song, you stupid piece of animated headgear! No, I need a rhymed riddle."
"Oh, a piece of headgear, am I? Well, maybe I'm too stupid to write your dumb riddle." The hat sounded decidedly pouty. Snape was not going to flatter a hat to get what he wanted. Or maybe he was.
"Look, you're my last hope. Albus wants our traps by tomorrow, and I've tried everything and I can't write it myself! It never works out!"
"Of course not. No head for poetry, any of you Snapes. But if it's for dear, dear Albus." The hat went sickly sweet for a second, and Snape nearly gagged. "What do you need?"
He gave it the specific. He risked life, limb and dignity and snuck back in the office in the wee hours of the next day, to receive the complete thing. He reserved his opinion on it, nodded politely when the hat bragged. But his trap was done.
If Albus had an amused glint in his eye the next morning, both of them were too polite to mention it. And the Philosopher's Stone was safe, at least.
Author's note: My first ever drabble, planned over two years and reduced from five pages to this in under half an hour. It all started when I finished reading PoA, and found myself thinking that no way could Snape have written the riddle back in Philosopher's Stone on his own.None of them are mine, for which I'm kinda glad. I'm just hitching a ride on Rowling's cash-cow.
"Marshmellow pops." Feeling ridiculous, Severus Snape sneaked into the headmaster's office. The office was open to him- as long as he asked. Albus wasn't even supposed to know he had the password. Gritting his teeth, he strode to the middle of the room and did it.
"What's this then? Hey, I've done you before. Snape, Severus the II. Slytherin to the core. Bit old to change."
"Shut up." He told it. "I'm not here to be bloody sorted."
"Not happy with last year's batch, then? Come to threaten me?" The voice was blustery, but creaked like old leather.
"Hardly." It felt silly, sneering at a hat while wearing it, but force of habit prevailed. "I need a song."
"It'll be ready by the first." The hat protested.
"Not that song, you stupid piece of animated headgear! No, I need a rhymed riddle."
"Oh, a piece of headgear, am I? Well, maybe I'm too stupid to write your dumb riddle." The hat sounded decidedly pouty. Snape was not going to flatter a hat to get what he wanted. Or maybe he was.
"Look, you're my last hope. Albus wants our traps by tomorrow, and I've tried everything and I can't write it myself! It never works out!"
"Of course not. No head for poetry, any of you Snapes. But if it's for dear, dear Albus." The hat went sickly sweet for a second, and Snape nearly gagged. "What do you need?"
He gave it the specific. He risked life, limb and dignity and snuck back in the office in the wee hours of the next day, to receive the complete thing. He reserved his opinion on it, nodded politely when the hat bragged. But his trap was done.
If Albus had an amused glint in his eye the next morning, both of them were too polite to mention it. And the Philosopher's Stone was safe, at least.