Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 4
Chapter 4: Dinner at LeBeau's
Kitty stepped into the living room wearing some thick flannel and quite unattractive pyjamas. She'd gone for a shower while Remy had been cooking. Remy had set dinner on the coffee table since he didn't own a dining table in the apartment. Kitty sat on couch, "why is it so dark in here?" she asked, noticing that a few candles were lit around the room, however, the overhead light was off, and the small lamp on the crate was off.
"Guess who forgot to buy lightbulbs," Remy rolled his eyes, "the overhead light just blew, and that lamp needs a new plug," he sighed, "domestic life is just so not my style."
"If you joined the X-Men you wouldn't have to put up with that," Kitty reminded, she was glad the room was only bathed in candle light, as it meant that he couldn't see how red her face was from the embarrassment of her kissing him an hour earlier.
Remy was sitting on the floor folded legged, at the coffee table facing the couch, he had already started to eat.
"So…what is this anyway?" Kitty asked gesturing to the plate.
"You could call it a vegetable stirfry if you want," Remy responded, he took a sip from a nearby can of beer, "there's beer there if you want some," he gestured to the remaining five cans from the six pack that was sitting on the couch near Kitty.
Kitty picked up her fork, she wasn't all that hungry, but since there had been some effort involved in Remy's cooking – an hour of his valuable time – she decided to put in her own effort and try to eat even a little. "I'm really sorry about earlier," she said sheepishly.
"I know. Don't think about it, its water off a ducks ass," he shrugged, and continued eating, "your phone was ringing while you were in the shower," he said, "I didn't answer it but it was pretty persistent, probably one of the X-Men wanting to make sure you're alright," he pointed to her cellular phone which was sitting on the crate beside the couch.
Kitty put a forkful of the spicy vegetables into her mouth, feigning an expression of delight at the flavour while secretly wondering how anyone could eat something so spicy. She reached over and picked up her cellular phone, she checked the last number, "it was Kurt – calling from his cellphone," she added, she winced at the stinging of her tongue, and she reached over, grabbed a can of beer from the pack, yanked the tab open and took a large drink to sooth it.
"So you and Kurt still an item?" Remy asked casually.
Kitty put the can on the table, and continued to eat her food in very small bites, "sometimes and sometimes not…last time we broke up we said it'd be for good," she said, "but every time we break up it doesn't mess up our friendship – thankfully," she said, "Kurt's one of the best friends anyone could ask for," Kitty admitted.
Remy nodded, understanding, but he didn't say a word, he just continued to eat silently.
"He's my back up," Kitty said in a very casual but sudden way.
Remy raised an eyebrow, "what do you mean?"
"Haven't you ever heard of that tradition, where two friends – a guy and a girl – will make a pact that if they're still unmarried by the time they're a certain age, that the two of them will get married? Kurt is my back up."
"That's kind of sad," Remy admitted, "you'd marry him as a last resort?"
Kitty shrugged, "I guess, I mean I really do love him and we have a great relationship…" she admitted, "it'd be great for both of us."
"What if you did and then the one you're meant to be with suddenly came out of the blue?" Remy pointed out.
"I…don't know," Kitty shrugged, "isn't that what divorce is for?" she joked.
Remy smirked a little "divorce is a seven letter blessing," he stated quite matter of factly.
"Is that so?" Kitty raised an eyebrow now, she took a small bite, then a quick sip of beer, "did you ever get divorced from that French chick?" Kitty asked softly.
Remy nodded, "Oh yeah," he said, "was pretty hard to do that while I had the law chasin' me for manslaughter," he added bitterly.
"Did you ever get married again?" Kitty asked.
Remy looked at Kitty, his expression very dark for a moment, "gotta find love before you get married, petit," he answered, his voice quite dry.
Kitty felt the tension in the room rise, "and…you never did?" she asked.
Remy gave a shrug, she took this to be no.
Kitty took a small bite of her food, "did you ever really love Rogue?" she asked.
Remy gave a snort and looked at her as if to ask 'what do YOU think'. Kitty felt foolish for having asked, she'd always known the answer, and had no idea why she'd asked. "They say…you never forget your first love," Remy spoke rather bitterly, "its true."
Kitty looked at him, she felt sympathy building within herself for him. She was the one dealing with the loss of both of her parents and he was the one she felt sad for – not herself.
"No one else compares…" Remy whispered, "no woman's kiss is good enough, no womans touch can satisfy…" he frowned, "and I hate it."
Kitty just watched him, she put her fork down, keeping her eyes on him all the while, she was glad of this subject, for it took her mind off of her parents temporarily.
"If I could forget about her, I would…and bein' at the mansion with her…always reminded day and night how much better life seemed when I was with her…it kills me."
"If you could be with her again, would you?" Kitty asked, sipping her beer.
"No," Remy stood up, he picked up his plate to take it to the kitchen, no longer hungry.
"You wouldn't?!" Kitty gaped, "But you love her!"
"Life in love with Rogue is hell, Kitty. Never knowin' when the next thing I'll do is going to fuck both of us up, or never knowin' if she completely accepts me, and how can I just suddenly forget she made statements to the police about me, not just for murder but for being a thief, I couldn't even go back to New Orleans after that," he said. "I ain't been able to go home in seven years cos of that woman," he said, "and no amount of love I have for the woman could allow me to forgive her, just like no amount of love she had for me would let her forgive me for sleepin' with Bella Donna or never tellin' her about Carol Danvers…or forgivin' me for any of the other thousands of mistakes I made in her eyes."
Kitty followed him, "that was all in the past, Remy."
"And I want to forget the fucking past!" Remy threw the plate of food to the wall, it shattered, spraying vegetables upon the floor, "I've spent seven years trying to forget about it!"
Kitty winced at the noise, and his behaviour. Those mood swings were getting worse, "calm down."
"It's easy for you to say calm down, Kitty!" Remy yelled at her, "you're not the one who has to live in this fucking disgusting apartment, or the one who has to live in secret under several different aliases, keeping a low profile, havin' to jump from city to city once the fucking police find out your whereabouts! Livin' day and night with the fact that you're guilty of fucking manslaughter!" he yelled at her, "And always wonderin' when the police are just around the corner!"
Kitty looked at him, "don't talk to me like that!" she said, "I could do without bein' an outlet for you to yell at, Remy! I've just lost my parents to a fire!" she felt her tears burning in her eyes.
Remy quietened down, he looked away, his expression still angry, his breathing fast.
"Have you taken your medication today?" Kitty demanded.
"What does it matter," he uttered, "Nothing helps," he rubbed his forehead, a headache beginning to build up, "I'm sorry, I'm being an ass…you're right, you have more right to be upset than I am…" he took his hand away from his forehead.
"This isn't about who has more right to be upset, Remy," Kitty said, "this is about not taking our problems out on other people," she pointed out, she walked over and put her hands on his shoulders, "take your medication and stop being so negative."
"That's the whole point of manic depression," Remy rolled his eyes, "you see everything as negative."
"Well its about time you stopped, Remy," Kitty felt incredibly frustrated with the conversation, she had her own worries and mourning, she could do without having to drill Remy about being positive when she couldn't even be positive herself. "I don't want to argue, I could do without it," she said.
Her phone, which was now sitting on the coffee table in the living room, had begun to ring again, she sighed, "that'll be Kurt," she said softly and left the room. She sat down on the couch, picked the phone up and answered, "hello."
"Finally, an answer!" Kurt's voice replied, he sounded relieved, "what's going on…why are you in Illinois?!" he sounded frantic all of a sudden, but Kitty could tell it was only his convern, "are you okay?"
As always, when someone was on the verge of tears, the last thing they needed to be asked was 'are you okay'. Tears burst forthwith, and she dropped the phone, it landed softly on the worn dark green carpet.
Remy had been watching from the kitchen, he walked in, moved over, picked up the phone, "Kurt…right now isn't a good time for you to be calling," he sighed.
"Why are you two in Illinois?" Kurt sounded quite suspicious and severe to Remy, Remy had no time for his impatience.
"I'll have her call you back," Remy hung up on Kurt, and tossed the phone aside, he sat beside Kitty, and put his hand on her arm, he didn't have to ask if she was alright, because he could see she clearly wasn't.
Kitty rested her head on her arm and sobbed as if her heart was breaking, her sobs were the only noise in the quiet apartment, Remy pulled her into a half hug, and let her cry until she fell asleep against his chest, everything finally falling silent.