Afterlife
Authors ramblings: First, thank you Moo for proof reading since I seem to miss everything. And thanks for adding the disclaimer because I'm dumb and forgot. Yay.
Disclaimer: I don't own Auron, Tidus, Jecht, Cloud, NOTHING.
Chapter 2: Happy Meaty Sausage!!
"Luzzu?" Tidus looked at Luzzu as he stood there shaking and looking in all directions.
(AN: HA! You never would have expected that! *gets hit by rocks* )
Anyway, Luzzu glanced at Tidus and began sniffing him. "Oh, you're that crazy kid that played blitzball with Wakka. Right?"
Tidus just stared at the Crusader. What happened to this guy? Did the Farplane do this to him, or was he just on drugs? He hoped it was just drugs...
"Excuse me?"
Tidus looked behind him to see girls, many girls, many sexy girls standing there. What the hell was going on? Tidus thought he had gone insane.
"Ah, ladies. Come right in. I'll be with you in a moment." Luzzu smiled as the girls walked in. "Time to get kinky... Oh, crazy blitzball kid, you can join us anytime you like."
Luzzu winked and closed the door. Tidus still sat there for a few minutes trying to register all this in his head. Eventually he headed back to his room. Inside Auron sat by himself eating from his box of gummie bears on their little couch. Jecht was knocked out on the floor drooling and cuddling with a chocobo plushie.
"Can I have a gummie bear?" Tidus asked, reaching his hand over to the box. Auron slapped his hand away and shook his head. Tidus glared at Auron as he slowly munched on the chewy little bears, obviously mocking Tidus.
"If you want something to eat so badly order yourself a pizza." He said with his teeth covered in pieces of gummie bear.
Tidus walked over to the refrigerator where a list of phone numbers was. Sadly, inside the refrigerator it was completely empty. Anyway... Braska, Chappu, Luzzu, many other dead people, but no pizza. Tidus, about to give up, opened the freezer where there was a... phone book? Oh well. He grabbed it and flipped through the pages.
"Happy Burger, Happy Elementary School, Happy Hospital, Happy Dentistry... everything's happy!" Mumbling to himself Tidus closed the book. "And there's no Happy Pizza in here!"
"Try Happy Meaty Sausage."
"Happy... Sausage? What does that have to do with pizza? I don't get this place at all." Tidus stomped back to the phone book and sure enough found Happy Sausage. Because of money issues they had no phone so Tidus walked outside to the public phone. Happy Telephone... it was a long time since Tidus had seen a telephone. It brought back memories, such as angry girlfriends yelling at him or sometimes even Auron and his lame prank calls. He ordered the pizza and went back home. Yeah, that's about it because the author is lazy.
Tidus rolled around in the small apartment room for what seemed hours. Actually, he really was waiting for hours. When the doorbell did ring he leapt for joy and dodged Auron and Jecht who were both asleep on the floor now. He opened the door to see a short teenager with very, very messy blonde hair sticking up and his face was covered in pimples. He wore a name tag that read "Cloud Strife".
"Happy Meaty Sausage with your super happy pizza, that'll be 25 Gil."
"Alright. Thank you... Cloud Strife."
Suddenly the pizza delivery boy dropped the pizza on the ground and screamed. "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!"
"Well, you have a na-"
"STALKER!!! STALKER!!!! RAAAAAPE!!!" So little Cloud Strife ran, still screaming. Tidus shrugged his shoulders and grabbed the pizza.
Later that night when the pizza was long gone and all memories of little Cloud Strife were forgotten everyone was asleep on the floor. (Get your minds out of the gutter, yaoi fans!) The night was not over yet, though. Whether they liked it or not, Cloud Strife would return. The doorbell rang. When no one answered it began ringing constantly. Jecht slowly opened his eyes and stumbled up. He walked to the door slowly mumbling things that should not be shared. He opened the door to see Cloud Strife with a large and incredibly fruity smile. Ahem... yes, fruity.
"Who the hell are you?" Jecht blinked.
Cloud frowned and pointed to his name tag. Jecht just stared. Cloud pointed again. Jecht blinked. Cloud pointed again. This lasted for awhile until Jecht eventually caught on.
"Uhh... Clo... Clow... Clown.... Clown Stripper? Okay, Clown Stripper, whadya want?" Jecht slurred.
Cloud sighed and held up the pizza box he held. Jecht looked at it and slammed the door. He began to walk away when the doorbell rang again. Jecht just ignored it, but eventually Tidus woke up and glared at his father. He got up, revealing his jammies with little moogles all over them. Once again the door opened and Cloud had a psychotic smile.
"Don't you want your piiiiizzaaaa?"
"Uhhh..." Before Tidus said anything Jecht ran up to the doorway and pounced on the creepy blonde boy. After Jecht fell off on the ground giggling Cloud dropped the pizza and revealed a gigantic... squirt gun.
"WAHAHA! Prepare to be sauced!" Cloud yelled.
"Sauced?" Jecht stood up and tilted his head.
"Yeah. Sauced." With that Cloud pulled the trigger and red goop sprayed all over Jecht. Jecht licked the sauce and smiled.
"Pizza sauce!"
Cloud pointed the pizza sauce gun at Tidus and was ready to fire. All Tidus did was cower in fear, when footseps were heard behind them.
"Face the wrath of Dirty Dan!!!" Auron jumped from behind and beat on Cloud with the stick.
After Cloud got the crap beaten out of him he ran to his home crying. Jecht was dragged to the bathroom where Auron and Tidus had to bathe him since Jecht couldn't really do anything in his current state. And because I like to pick on Auron, let's say he enjoyed it. By the time they were done it was already morning and no one could sleep when all you can here is Luzzu's maoning and groaning from the other room. Thus the end of their first night! OMGWTFBBQ!!!
More of the authors ramblings:
Wah, author is siiick. Sneezing, sore throat, fever, coughing and hacking to death... oh well, writing this makes me feel better. I'll be working on a Christmas chapter but knowing me it won't be up unitl after Christmas is over XD And... I wanna play FFX-2 dammit! ._.
Oh, and no matter how much it may seem like it, I don't hate Auron. I luv him. I pick on him because I luv him!
Authors ramblings: First, thank you Moo for proof reading since I seem to miss everything. And thanks for adding the disclaimer because I'm dumb and forgot. Yay.
Disclaimer: I don't own Auron, Tidus, Jecht, Cloud, NOTHING.
Chapter 2: Happy Meaty Sausage!!
"Luzzu?" Tidus looked at Luzzu as he stood there shaking and looking in all directions.
(AN: HA! You never would have expected that! *gets hit by rocks* )
Anyway, Luzzu glanced at Tidus and began sniffing him. "Oh, you're that crazy kid that played blitzball with Wakka. Right?"
Tidus just stared at the Crusader. What happened to this guy? Did the Farplane do this to him, or was he just on drugs? He hoped it was just drugs...
"Excuse me?"
Tidus looked behind him to see girls, many girls, many sexy girls standing there. What the hell was going on? Tidus thought he had gone insane.
"Ah, ladies. Come right in. I'll be with you in a moment." Luzzu smiled as the girls walked in. "Time to get kinky... Oh, crazy blitzball kid, you can join us anytime you like."
Luzzu winked and closed the door. Tidus still sat there for a few minutes trying to register all this in his head. Eventually he headed back to his room. Inside Auron sat by himself eating from his box of gummie bears on their little couch. Jecht was knocked out on the floor drooling and cuddling with a chocobo plushie.
"Can I have a gummie bear?" Tidus asked, reaching his hand over to the box. Auron slapped his hand away and shook his head. Tidus glared at Auron as he slowly munched on the chewy little bears, obviously mocking Tidus.
"If you want something to eat so badly order yourself a pizza." He said with his teeth covered in pieces of gummie bear.
Tidus walked over to the refrigerator where a list of phone numbers was. Sadly, inside the refrigerator it was completely empty. Anyway... Braska, Chappu, Luzzu, many other dead people, but no pizza. Tidus, about to give up, opened the freezer where there was a... phone book? Oh well. He grabbed it and flipped through the pages.
"Happy Burger, Happy Elementary School, Happy Hospital, Happy Dentistry... everything's happy!" Mumbling to himself Tidus closed the book. "And there's no Happy Pizza in here!"
"Try Happy Meaty Sausage."
"Happy... Sausage? What does that have to do with pizza? I don't get this place at all." Tidus stomped back to the phone book and sure enough found Happy Sausage. Because of money issues they had no phone so Tidus walked outside to the public phone. Happy Telephone... it was a long time since Tidus had seen a telephone. It brought back memories, such as angry girlfriends yelling at him or sometimes even Auron and his lame prank calls. He ordered the pizza and went back home. Yeah, that's about it because the author is lazy.
Tidus rolled around in the small apartment room for what seemed hours. Actually, he really was waiting for hours. When the doorbell did ring he leapt for joy and dodged Auron and Jecht who were both asleep on the floor now. He opened the door to see a short teenager with very, very messy blonde hair sticking up and his face was covered in pimples. He wore a name tag that read "Cloud Strife".
"Happy Meaty Sausage with your super happy pizza, that'll be 25 Gil."
"Alright. Thank you... Cloud Strife."
Suddenly the pizza delivery boy dropped the pizza on the ground and screamed. "HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!"
"Well, you have a na-"
"STALKER!!! STALKER!!!! RAAAAAPE!!!" So little Cloud Strife ran, still screaming. Tidus shrugged his shoulders and grabbed the pizza.
Later that night when the pizza was long gone and all memories of little Cloud Strife were forgotten everyone was asleep on the floor. (Get your minds out of the gutter, yaoi fans!) The night was not over yet, though. Whether they liked it or not, Cloud Strife would return. The doorbell rang. When no one answered it began ringing constantly. Jecht slowly opened his eyes and stumbled up. He walked to the door slowly mumbling things that should not be shared. He opened the door to see Cloud Strife with a large and incredibly fruity smile. Ahem... yes, fruity.
"Who the hell are you?" Jecht blinked.
Cloud frowned and pointed to his name tag. Jecht just stared. Cloud pointed again. Jecht blinked. Cloud pointed again. This lasted for awhile until Jecht eventually caught on.
"Uhh... Clo... Clow... Clown.... Clown Stripper? Okay, Clown Stripper, whadya want?" Jecht slurred.
Cloud sighed and held up the pizza box he held. Jecht looked at it and slammed the door. He began to walk away when the doorbell rang again. Jecht just ignored it, but eventually Tidus woke up and glared at his father. He got up, revealing his jammies with little moogles all over them. Once again the door opened and Cloud had a psychotic smile.
"Don't you want your piiiiizzaaaa?"
"Uhhh..." Before Tidus said anything Jecht ran up to the doorway and pounced on the creepy blonde boy. After Jecht fell off on the ground giggling Cloud dropped the pizza and revealed a gigantic... squirt gun.
"WAHAHA! Prepare to be sauced!" Cloud yelled.
"Sauced?" Jecht stood up and tilted his head.
"Yeah. Sauced." With that Cloud pulled the trigger and red goop sprayed all over Jecht. Jecht licked the sauce and smiled.
"Pizza sauce!"
Cloud pointed the pizza sauce gun at Tidus and was ready to fire. All Tidus did was cower in fear, when footseps were heard behind them.
"Face the wrath of Dirty Dan!!!" Auron jumped from behind and beat on Cloud with the stick.
After Cloud got the crap beaten out of him he ran to his home crying. Jecht was dragged to the bathroom where Auron and Tidus had to bathe him since Jecht couldn't really do anything in his current state. And because I like to pick on Auron, let's say he enjoyed it. By the time they were done it was already morning and no one could sleep when all you can here is Luzzu's maoning and groaning from the other room. Thus the end of their first night! OMGWTFBBQ!!!
More of the authors ramblings:
Wah, author is siiick. Sneezing, sore throat, fever, coughing and hacking to death... oh well, writing this makes me feel better. I'll be working on a Christmas chapter but knowing me it won't be up unitl after Christmas is over XD And... I wanna play FFX-2 dammit! ._.
Oh, and no matter how much it may seem like it, I don't hate Auron. I luv him. I pick on him because I luv him!