Upon a Midnight Clear
Many, many thanks must go to Kathy for depicting Captain Gregg's mother so vividly in her wonderful "Mother's Day Legacy". It was a terrific source of inspiration during the writing of this story. Mille mercis, très chère dame! :-)
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Carolyn stood back with her hands on her hips, admiring her handiwork. The Christmas decorations were coming along nicely, and Gull Cottage was taking on a decidedly magical air with each addition. Everyone had contributed a little something, making every corner uniquely theirs.
Well – almost everyone.
"Captain? Captain Gregg?" Carolyn called out softly to the empty air.
"How may I be of service, my dear?" answered the spirit of Captain Daniel Gregg. He cast an approving look about him, taking in all the Christmas finery with alert blue eyes. "You've outdone yourself this year, Madam. My congratulations to you and your crew." He took a long, deep breath, his eyes half-closed in evident pleasure. "My, the house smells like Christmas."
Carolyn did a double-take at the words. They were the same ones he had used in the dream he had given the family the year before. Trying to cover up her reaction, she nodded her agreement. "Doesn't it? Martha's been busy in there lately," she continued with a chuckle as she inclined her head toward the kitchen. "No one can go in under pain of death by dishwashing. A thoroughly disagreeable prospect, I assure you," she said, her face serious, but her eyes mischievous. She quickly joined the Captain when he began laughing at the mental image her words had conjured up. Still smiling, she approached him, looking up into those mesmerizing blue eyes of his. "Everyone contributed a little something this year – except you. Would you care to pitch in?"
His eyebrows went up in surprise. "I, Madam?" He looked around at the living room again, shaking his head bemusedly. "I'm afraid there's very little I could add to what you've already done, my dear."
"Oh, it doesn't have to be Christmas decorations," Carolyn hastened to explain. "It can be a recipe, a tradition – anything that would make things a little more Christmassy and uniquely yours at the same time." She watched as he made to speak, then closed his mouth, looking uncertain. "You don't have to do it if you don't want to," she went on, somewhat disappointed at the thought that he might refuse, but also intrigued by the longing she was sure she had glimpsed in his eyes.
Still looking hesitant, he asked, "May I think on it, Madam?"
"Of course. And please, feel free to decline. I just thought that since the rest of the family had contributed something, it seemed only fair to ask. I hope I didn't offend you by asking," Carolyn finished quietly.
That seemed to shake off whatever doubts had been gripping him. "Offend me? Oh, my dear, on the contrary! I feel honoured that you would want to include me in your preparations. It's just that… well, this is rather sudden. And, to be honest, it has been a long time since Christmas has held any kind of meaning for me. But perhaps, with your help – " He stopped suddenly, as if he had been about to reveal something he shouldn't. Clearing his throat, he retreated behind a façade of nonchalance. "I will let you know if I think of anything by tomorrow. Will that do?"
Carolyn nodded somewhat absently, pondering both his words and his reaction. He seemed torn between eagerness and disillusionment, and she was completely stumped as to the reason. If she didn't know any better, she would swear that he acted like he was afraid of getting hurt, somehow. Forcing the issue to the back of her mind, she moved to the mantle to start putting the finishing touches to the Christmas stockings. "That'll do fine. And please, don't hesitate to ask either Martha or me if you need something picked up from town. We have a few more errands to run there anyway, so adding a few more items to the list won't be any trouble."
He inclined his head. "If you're sure, Madam. I will bid you goodnight, then." And he vanished.
Carolyn turned back to the stockings, but her mind just wasn't in it. She stopped filling them and moved to the window seat, looking out the frost-covered window to the ragged cliffs beyond, hidden under a mantle of fresh snow. She simply couldn't shake the look of longing she had caught in the Captain's gaze. Why would such a simple suggestion as the one she had made provoke such a reaction in him?
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He reappeared the following morning as she was working on the last of her coffee. Almost timidly, he handed her a list of things he would need to carry out his part. The items he required were fairly simple to find, although she wasn't so sure about the raisin bread with caraway seeds. At her mention of it, he gave her a small smile and said that anything she could manage would be fine.
Once the shopping was done, the day seemed to get shorter and shorter, and the list of things left to do seemed to grow a mile a minute. But somehow, everyone ended up at the dinner table at the appointed time, with very few things left to do after dinner was done. The Captain took the opportunity to learn what everyone had contributed thus far, as well as tell them what his own contribution was. He explained the meaning of the candle in the window, placed there to welcome both the Holy Family and travellers who might be out on this night, as well as that of the simple meal of raisin bread and milk and of the unlatched door, left as such so any weary traveller could take a short respite and regain their strength before taking the road again. As the dishes were cleaned and cleared, he further explained that, traditionally, the candle was supposed to be lighted by someone named Mary. Candy perked up excitedly at that, reminding everyone that that was her middle name. Seeing the disappointment on Jonathan's face, however, the Captain offered a compromise that would satisfy tradition and everyone involved: as the candle could also be lit by the youngest in the family, Jonathan would get to light the candle, while it would be Candy's task to snuff it out come morning. Finally, each member of the family was to offer prayers for the departed upon the lighting of the candle. So when the time came, everyone moved to the living room, where the large candle was placed, on the small ledge near the back of the window seat. The children watched, solemn, as Martha made sure the candle fit snugly within the crown of holly she had made. Satisfied, she stepped back from it, nodding to Carolyn and the Captain.
"All right, Jonathan, light the candle." Obediently, the boy scratched the match and carefully touched the flame to the candle until it started burning on its own. As he blew the match out, he said softly, "Thank you, God, for letting us know Captain Gregg. I hope you'll keep us together always."
Carolyn smiled proudly at her son, dropping a kiss on top of his head. Candy went next, expressing similar sentiments, as well as saying a prayer for the father of one of her friends at school. Martha followed, adding her thoughts for her mother, who had died quite suddenly during the fall. Spying the sheen of tears in the older woman's eyes, Carolyn rubbed her back soothingly, and she noticed that the Captain was also hovering close, offering what support he could. Martha's hand went around Carolyn's waist in silent thanks, and she nodded her gratitude at the seaman, the meaning of his closeness not lost on her. The Captain went next, saying a prayer of thanksgiving for his parents and his aunt. He then surprised everyone by adding, "Dear Lord, I would also ask that you keep Robert Muir in your thoughts, and that you grant him peace, wherever he may be." Levelling an astonished but grateful look at the Captain, Carolyn turned her eyes back to the flickering flame, her head bowed. "Dear Lord, I pray for the soul of my husband, Robert, whom you welcomed with open arms four years ago. I also pray for the soul of Captain Daniel Gregg, that you will grant him peace, happiness, and all of his heart's desires." She looked up at him, feeling a flush come to her cheeks when she saw how touched he was by her sentiment.
By then, bedtime had come for the children. They went good-naturedly enough, with a little coaxing from Martha, who also intended to turn in early, as tomorrow would be her day to shine. Making sure neither Carolyn nor the Captain needed anything, she trudged up the steps after the little ones, telling Carolyn she'd let her know when they were ready to get tucked in.
Martha called down a few minutes later, just as Carolyn and the Captain were stuffing the last of the stockings and pinning them to the mantle. Carolyn excused herself and went up to tuck the kids in, while the Captain made his way to the kitchen to start laying out the small meal. Back from the kids' room, she observed him silently for a time, noticing not for the first time today that he seemed melancholy for some reason. In fact, she had glimpsed that same melancholy look at dinner, while he was talking about weary travellers. Maybe it was time she tested a little theory that had been kicking around in her brain all day long…
"Are you expecting someone?" Carolyn asked only half-teasingly.
The look he gave her was wistful. "No, not really. Call it wishful thinking on my part." He closed the bag of bread and reached for the milk.
Carolyn put her hand on the milk bottle, stopping him as effectively as if she had actually touched him. "Daniel, if there ever was a good time to hold on tight to your hopes and dreams, this is it," she reminded him gently.
Smiling appreciatively, he inclined his head, conceding her point. "You're wise beyond your years, Madam," he said softly.
Carolyn breathed out a laugh as she shook her head. "Not really. I just happen to have compelling evidence that such magic is possible," she answered back, gazing knowingly into his eyes.
Uncustomarily embarrassed by the frankness of her gaze, he picked up the bottle as soon as she let go of it, busying himself with emptying its contents into the waiting pitcher. Once done, he brought it to the table, depositing it next to the empty plate and the basket of bread. All that remained to be done was the lighting of the candle. "Will you do the honours, Captain?" Carolyn asked, extending the box of matches to him.
Instead of reaching for them, he put his hands behind his back, shaking his head. "No, thank you, my dear. I'll leave that honour to you."
Feeling unaccountably privileged by the gesture, she lit the candle, then surveyed the setting as she blew out the match. Simple as it was, it did look quite inviting. Looking up at him with a satisfied smile, she asked, "What now?"
"Now, we make sure the doors remain unlocked and we go about doing whatever's left to be done. And have no fear, Madam; I shall be especially diligent in my rounds tonight." Smiling at her obvious relief, he asked, "Do you require help with your final preparations?"
Carolyn shook her head. "No, thank you. I think I have everything covered. In fact, I think I'll be turning in soon. I'm just going to sit by the fire until it goes out, which shouldn't take too long."
"Very well, Madam. In that case, I'll take a quick turn around the house before I take up my watch on the bridge. I'll be seeing you on the morrow." His eyes softened. "Pleasant dreams, my dear." He vanished.
Smiling contentedly, Carolyn moved to her favourite chair, staring dreamily into the dying flames as she replayed in her mind the tender look he had just given her. The inviting warmth and the sweet memories, however, soon eased her busy mind and tired body into sleep.
She started awake from where she had dozed off in front of the fire shortly before sunrise. She thought she had heard some noise coming from the kitchen, but that couldn't be. Everyone was in bed – as she should be, she thought to herself reproachfully as she felt her cramped up muscles coming to painful life again. She started moving toward the stairs when she heard the noise again – and this time, there was no mistaking it. There definitely was someone in the kitchen. A shiver ran down her spine at the realization. She kept telling herself that she shouldn't be frightened – after all, the Captain had assured her that he would keep an eye out, as he always did – but the thought that a complete stranger might be sitting in her kitchen at this very moment, with God knew what intentions… it just froze her blood to think of the consequences. Not sure what else to do, she did the first thing that came to mind. "Captain? Captain, are you there?"
"Present, Madam."
Carolyn breathed a sigh of relief, feeling instantly safe in his presence. "There's someone in the kitchen," she whispered urgently, not caring if she sounded scared.
He frowned at her, then turned his eyes toward the kitchen, moving to the door in complete silence. Carolyn followed closely, endeavouring to move as stealthily as possible. The door was already ajar, so the sound of the latch wouldn't alert whoever was on the other side. She watched in trepidation as the Captain pushed the door further open so they could have a look at their midnight caller.
It was a small wisp of a woman, smaller even than Carolyn, a mass of fiery red curls partly hidden under the hood of an old-fashioned cloak of coarse wool. She had a slightly turned-up nose, and her skin had the milky sheen of porcelain. Her small hands, which were busy tearing up the bread, were well-worn hands, used to toil. Carolyn couldn't help but think that she would be perfectly at home in one of those old Victorian novels she particularly liked. She was about to turn to the Captain to ask him what they should do when she heard him say, in a shaky voice, "Oh, my dear God."
She looked up at him, all thoughts of the woman forgotten. He was frozen in place, staring at their visitor with wide eyes. Carolyn could tell at once that it wasn't fear that had him in its grip; it was recognition. Turning back to the woman, Carolyn found herself frozen in place as well, for the eyes that were calmly looking out from under that hood were the Captain's eyes. Their color was different, but there was no mistaking the gaze. That's when she knew, with utter certainty, that she was looking at the Captain's mother. Tearing her eyes away from the woman with some difficulty, Carolyn turned once more to the Captain, who had his own eyes glued to their visitor, wonder, joy and disbelief chasing each other across his face.
"Nollaig Shona Duit, Danny," the woman finally said with a small, shy smile, her eyes looking lovingly at her long lost son.
That seemed to break the spell he was under. Without a word, the Captain moved to the small woman sitting at the table, then knelt before her and enveloped her in his arms. "Nollaig Shona Duit, Mum," he whispered back unsteadily, his eyes unusually bright in the candlelight. For long moments, they simply held on to each other in silence, occasionally brushing their lips against the other's temple, rocking each other gently. Carolyn watched from where she still stood by the door, her eyes misty, a lump in her throat, and what she knew was a perfectly foolish grin on her face, but she didn't care. Her heart was bursting with joy at the sight of mother and son, who were happy beyond measure at having found each other at long last.
Pulling back only enough to look into his mother's face, Daniel shook his head silently in disbelief, then finally found his voice to ask the first question that came to him: "How in heaven's name did you find me?"
Giving him a tolerant look, his mother smiled gently. "There was a light in your window," she said simply, as if that were explanation enough. Then she turned her eyes toward Carolyn. "Besides, you had to scour both heaven and earth to find her, while all I had to do to find you was search among the dead."
Carolyn shivered. It was unnerving enough to see someone else with that same mesmerizing gaze she knew so well; but to have a complete stranger look her in the eye and reveal something that even Martha was just beginning to fathom was downright spooky.
Their visitor seemed to sense her unease, however. She gave Carolyn a reassuring smile that lighted up the whole room. "I'm sorry if I frightened you with my talk, dear. Sometimes, I forget what it was like in this life."
Carolyn found herself smiling back. She liked this woman. "Quite all right, I assure you. I'm – "
"Carolyn, is it not?" Carolyn nodded, quickly moving beyond surprise to acceptance. "I would offer my hand, as befits a lady, but I'm afraid that's quite impossible."
"Again, quite all right." She glanced at the Captain. "I'm familiar with the limitations."
Catching the glimpse, the woman laughed delightedly. "Yes, I dare say you must be." Turning to the Captain, she asked, "This was your idea?" He nodded. "And you let him do it?" she directed at Carolyn. She nodded. Gracing them both with a radiant smile, she said, "I appreciate your efforts. It was a long trek, coming here, and the way back won't be any shorter." She cast a weather eye out the kitchen window, where the first pale rays of dawn were illuminating the thick mist rising off the bay. "Speaking of which, I'll have to be heading back soon."
"No," the Captain said softly, shaking his head in denial.
"You know I must, Danny," she said reasonably as she brushed a lock off his forehead.
Loath to see the two of them separated so quickly, Carolyn said, "Won't you come sit by the fire before you go? It might make the going a little easier."
The Captain's mother smiled knowingly at Carolyn, seeing right through her offer and loving her all the more for it. She nodded. "Very well, but only for a short time. I really must be heading back soon."
Glad she had accepted the offer, Carolyn hurried to the living room to get the fire going. The flames were just beginning to lick the wood when they joined her. The woman was immediately drawn to the pictures of the children sitting on the mantle. She eyed them in silence for a time, as if she were trying to memorize every feature. Finally, she turned to Carolyn. "They will do right by you and bring great honour to the family name, as will their descendants."
Again, Carolyn shivered, as much from the meaning of the words as from the complete seriousness with which they had been said. And once again, the other woman bailed her out.
Turning to Daniel, she said, "Danny, dearest, I left my walking stick in the kitchen. Would you go get it for me?" Giving her hand a squeeze, the Captain nodded, backing out of the room slowly, his eyes never leaving his mother until he reached the door.
Once he had disappeared around the corner, the woman approached Carolyn. "Can I ask something of you? Regarding my son?"
"Anything."
"Keep his heart with great care. It has been broken more than once, and it would take very little to shatter it."
Carolyn nodded solemnly, her eyes tearing up. "I will," she breathed.
Daniel came back just then, too sad at the thought of seeing his mother leave to notice anything else. He handed the walking stick to her reluctantly, sensing the time of her departure drawing near. Taking the stick from him, his mother took hold of his hand and kissed the back of it, gracing him with a smile. She turned that same smile on Carolyn as she readjusted her hood. "Thank you once again for your hospitality, dear lady. I hope I get the opportunity to repay your kindness someday."
Glancing at the Captain, Carolyn smiled back. "You already have – a thousand fold."
Nodding in understanding, the woman slipped her hand in the crook of the Captain's arm. "Will you escort me out, Danny?" At his nod, they made for the door. Turning back to Carolyn one last time, she said, softly, "Merry Christmas to you and yours, my dear."
"And to you," Carolyn answered back equally softly as mother and son made their way out.
At the bottom of the steps, Daniel gathered his mother once more in his arms, endeavouring to make the moment last as long as he could. Resting his bearded chin against her temple, he whispered, "Must you really go so soon?"
She nodded gently without looking up. "I do. I've already overstayed my welcome, I'm afraid." Moving within his embrace so she could look into his eyes, she smiled tenderly up at this giant of a man – her grown son. "Fear not, love; we'll meet again, now that I know where to find you." Glancing briefly at the house, she turned back to Daniel, gently bringing his head down to kiss his cheek. "Take good care of her; she's worth her weight in gold and more."
Smiling, he placed a tender kiss on her forehead. "I know." His eyes bright, he stepped back, holding on to her free hand with both of his, and whispered, "Until next time, Mum."
"Until next time, son." With a small smile, she made her way to the gate, vanishing into the rising mist.
Carolyn waited until Daniel's mother had gone before stepping outside to join him. She came to a halt by his side just as a tremulous breath escaped him. Sensing her presence, he looked down at her, gratitude standing out clearly in his eyes. "Thank you, Madam, for indulging me. And for reminding me of what a magical time Christmas can be."
"You're very welcome. I'm truly glad you did get to have your heart's desire."
He hesitated briefly before answering. "Well, that was one of them."
Carolyn swallowed as he stepped closer to her. "What else could your heart want, I wonder?" she asked in what she hoped was a light tone.
"Close your eyes and I'll show you."
Smiling nervously, Carolyn asked, "How can you show me anything if my eyes are closed?"
Giving her an inscrutable smile, he said, "Humour me, my dear."
Nodding, Carolyn obediently did as he asked and waited. A warm, liquid touch suddenly cupped her face, tipping her head back ever so slightly. Before her brain could make any sense of what was happening to her, she felt his lips cover hers in a tender, reverent kiss, her whole body thrilling to the remembered sensation of his otherworldly touch. Too soon, contact was broken, his voice, low and velvety, sounding close to her ear. "A very Merry Christmas to you, my dearest." Opening her eyes, she saw that he had already gone.
Before she could even draw a steadying breath, she was startled by the sound of the front door opening. "What are you doing out there at this ungodly hour?" Martha asked, shaking her head disapprovingly. "Come on in before you catch your death. Besides, the kids are on their way down now. You don't want to miss their opening the presents, do you?"
"Coming, Martha!" Moving her fingers lightly over her lips, Carolyn looked up into the empty air and smiled. "And a very Merry Christmas to you, too, dearest Daniel!" She gathered her sweater closer around her shoulders and ran inside, where she was greeted by the kids' squeals of joy.
This definitely had the makings of the merriest Christmas of them all!