Notes: Hi!
Page Two: Winter (or, Remus Cries Like a Baby)
They surrounded him like moths to a flame, or, Remus thought, more like a pack of wolves around a rabbit. Except he was the wolf. James was to the back, his hand resting on Remus' shoulder quite firmly. Always the steady one, he looked rather emotionless, but from experience, the little werewolf knew that he was seething with calculated thoughts beneath his calm exterior. Peter had moved in on the right, sitting next to Remus on the couch, but not touching him. As always, his dark blue eyes betrayed everything he was thinking. And, to Remus' surprise, his roommate was not at all frightened or angry- only slightly sad and a little confused. Sirius had flung himself across the chair next to the couch, his legs swinging out and tangling with Remus' in friendly haphazardness. He was the picture of smug security, a smile dancing across his pink lips as he watched James initiate the conversation.
After a moment of silence, James said quietly, "We missed you, Remus."
Sirius nodded, tapping his friend's calf with his toes. "You've been a bit distant."
Peter made a small noise in agreement.
James moved around so that he knelt in front of Remus' legs, peering up at him with dark eyes. "Rem… we know." His voice was soft, so as not to alert any of the other Gryffindors in the room. "We figured it out this summer."
Sirius coughed. "Excuse me, James?" He gave his best friend a mock glare.
"Sirius figured it out this summer," amended the dark haired boy. "We wanted to test it- so that's why we scheduled the trip to Idle Mountain on a full moon. To see whether or not you'd come. And when you didn't…" He gave a little shrug. "Well, we knew. After that, it was only a matter of matching the symptoms up to what you were like, and we had it figured out. The incident with the house elf was almost redundant."
Remus' eyes were filled with unshed tears. "What are you going to do to me?"
Peter actually laughed. "Do to you? We want to help you! Remus…" He bit his soft pink lip. "Remus, you may scare the pants off me during full moons, but you've been our friend for a year. We're not going to abandon you."
"Damn straight," offered Sirius, who had moved his legs to rest on top of Remus' knees. "We like you, Rem. You're a good student and a calming influence over all of us. Besides, who else would keep us Marauders out of trouble?"
"Marauders?" Remus squeaked, his throat still quite constricted.
"Yeah, that's us!" Peter said, smiling and scooting a bit closer. "D'you like the name? James picked it out for us. Said we maraud over the campus." His eyes were bright and he sounded a bit excited. "You're one, too," he added, his smile widening.
"A Marauder?"
James nodded and plopped his rear end down fully on the floor, his expression frank and open. "You're one of us, Rem. You'll always be." A sudden smile lit up his face. "Unless you try to eat us."
At this, Remus wailed, "But I might! You don't know werewolves! I just might!"
James's smile instantly faded. "I was kidding!"
Sirius laughed. "If you haven't eaten us this past year, I don't think you'll start now." He wiggled an eyebrow. "I bet Dumbledore's got some great cage for you somewhere that he puts you in. We'll all be safe." He nodded reassuringly at Peter, who looked a little pale, and at Remus, who still looked quite distressed.
"It's not a cage," the little werewolf responded in a stressed whisper. "It's a house."
"A house?" Peter looked confused.
"Yeah. The Shrieking Shack…" Remus bent his head a little. "You know the one- up by Hogsmeade?" The other boys nodded assent, and he continued. "It's not really haunted- that's me screaming down there at the full moon." At the look on Sirius' face, Remus continued hurriedly, "And there is lots of nice furniture there for me to lie down on when I'm done with my transformation. And it's really roomy compared to my c-" he stopped and turned a brilliant red.
"Your what?" James asked, frowning.
"I have a cage at home," the boy replied quietly. "To keep me safe."
Sirius growled and pounced on his friend, hugging the light haired boy tightly. "To think that they cage you up..."
"It's for safety," Remus protested in a muffled voice against Sirius' sweater clad chest. "I don't mind that much."
Peter leaned back. "Are you going to stay here this Christmas, Remus?" He smiled brilliantly. "I really hope you do."
James nodded. "Stay with us. We'll be tons more fun than your parents."
Sirius patted the little bubble of light brown hair that seemed to bloom off his chest. "Yeah. Stay. Please?" His fingers ran through Remus' hair, making the smaller boy shiver a little. "We like you, Remmie."
Remus smiled, his cheek still smooshed against Sirius' sweater. "I'll stay." And, so saying, he burst into a flood of delighted tears. His fingers tightened around the other boy's sleeves and he found himself smiling through the tears.
"So," Peter asked, scooting closer to the pair of huggers "what's it like to be a werewolf? I mean…" he turned a bit red "um… what's it like to change like that every full moon?"
The light haired werewolf peeked out from his harbor in Sirius' arms. "It's painful." Cautiously, he wiped his eyes with the back of his left hand. "It's really painful. Like losing your mind…" He gave half a bitter laugh. "It's exactly like losing your mind. You have no control over what you do. And when you wake up, you are broken like a doll. Cuts and bruises web across your skin, and you can only hope that you are the one who inflicted them. You hope that it's your own blood you taste- your own skin under your fingernails. And then, because you're exhausted from fighting the wolf and losing blood, you fall to the ground and fall asleep, leaving yourself utterly vulnerable. Not to mention that you live in fear during the other days of the month- afraid that someone will find out what you are and hate you." Remus stopped short, turned red and nibbled on a fingernail.
Peter rocked back on his seat, his eyes wide and sympathetic. James, on the floor, leaned in and patted Remus' knee gently, while Sirius drew the boy back into his arms. Remus leaned into his dark haired friend, his cheek rubbing against the sweater. And then, suddenly, he realized he could hear Sirius' heartbeat.
Sirius tightened his hold, and Remus shivered in strange delight.
It was snowing that Christmas Eve. Outside, the grounds had been covered with a fresh layer of white that glistened under the moonlight. To Remus' delight, the moon was only a quarter full. He would be able to spend this Christmas totally relaxed; he might even be able to go outside with the other boys if they wanted to. And if they could get out. He clutched his own elbows in excitement. The idea of flying out there under the moonlight… It was more than he could bear. Usually Remus didn't like flying, but this was different. He could imagine himself clinging to Sirius the same way he had just a week earlier. Clinging to him and flying over the trees… nearly touching the sky…
"Remmie?" James put a tentative hand on the young werewolf's shoulder. "You okay? Can I get you anything?"
Remus shook his head and smiled, amused. The three other boys had taken to caring for him as if they were his grandmothers. It was funny, but starting to get annoying. "I'm fine. I was just thinking about flying, that's all."
"Flying?" James' glasses glinted and he pushed them up on his nose. "You hate flying."
"I know… but I thought that tonight would be a beautiful night for it. Kind of a rush, you know?" He twisted a bit of his robes between his fingers. "It'd be pretty hard to get out there, but I would love so dearly to fly tonight."
Suddenly, Remus felt himself grabbed from behind by a pair of strong arms. Then lips were pressed to his ear. "Let's do it," James murmured. "Let's go. You and me. Now."
"But… Peter… Sirius…." Remus breathed, not sure whether James was trying to seduce him or just being quiet and protective. He was trembling, he knew, and he could feel his heart beating almost out of his chest. A thought flashed through his head that he would not want Sirius to walk in just then. But why, he had no idea.
"Peter and Sirius are fine. Let's go." James grabbed Remus' arm and tugged it. "Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!"
The two of them furtively slid out of the dorms and snuck on tiptoe through the common room. Peter and Sirius were engaged in a chess game, and neither seemed to notice as the other two Marauders slipped out the portrait hole. James went first, dragging Remus behind him. Remus was rather delighted with the whole prospect, though he still remained a bit frightened that they would get caught.
Once they were in the hall, James began to laugh softly.
"What?"
"I never thought I'd be sneaking out to fly on Christmas Eve with you of all people." He grinned at his companion. When Remus looked questioningly at him, James laughed again. "You don't like flying, silly. And I don't like breaking rules."
Remus gave his friend a mock glare. "I thought Sirius cured you of your rule-breaking phobia."
"Well…" James shrugged. "When it's with Sirius, it's different. I mean, you almost have to break rules to be around him. With you-" he paused and glanced at the light haired boy before lacing his fingers between those of his companion. "With you I don't need to break rules." He smiled at Remus. "You're just you."
The other boy's mouth opened and closed twice like a fish. Then he turned a bright pink and looked away. "Let's just go."
James began to lead Remus away, but suddenly their path was blocked by a dark shape. Both boys froze and James tightened his hold on Remus' hand.
"Two second year Gryffindors out at night? And on Christmas Eve?" The figure moved into the light. It was, fortunately for the two Marauders, Professor Albus Dumbledore. "You two should be in your dorms with your friends."
"Please, Professor," James butted in nervously "we wanted to fly."
"Fly?"
"At night," Remus put in, his cheeks still pink.
"But your friends will be missing you." Dumbledore shook his head. "No, as lovely as a flight at night is, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask both of you to go back to your dorms. Rules are rules. And you'll have fun anyway." He winked conspiratorially. "Besides- Professor Brynd is patrolling the halls tonight. And I know neither of you wants to run into him."
Both boys shook their heads.
"Well then, pop back in the portrait hole and visit your friends." He smiled at them brightly. "And have a Merry Christmas."
They obediently did as he asked, and the minute they were back inside the common room, Sirius pounced. "Where have you two been? What did you do? Remus, you could have gotten caught! James, don't take him out there! He sneaks out enough without you adding to it. It's not a full moon, is it? What have you been doing?" He flung his arms around the two boys. "It's CHRISTMAS EVE, my dears. We should all be together. Right, Peter?"
"Right," Peter replied, still sitting where they had last seen him, bending over the chess pieces.
"You didn't seem to need us," James said airily, his gaze sliding with a hint of resentment over Sirius' frame.
Remus stepped back, shocked. Suddenly, he realized what had been going on. Sirius had been ignoring James in favor of playing chess with Peter. James, of course, had been resentful, and had turned to Remus to placate his loneliness. All that touching, blushing, sweetness, that had all been out of jealousy.
With a bit of a sob, the werewolf yanked himself away from his friends and darted up the stairs to the dorms. The last thing he heard before shutting the door behind him was Sirius asking, "What did you do to him, James?"
Remus began to cry. Loud hiccupping sobs escaped from his throat and he flung himself onto his bed, clutching his pillow to him and crying into it so that he wouldn't be heard by the boys downstairs. But apparently someone had heard him, for the door opened and a pair of bare feet padded across the floor towards him. The side of his bed dipped as the person sat down next to him on the mattress. Then a hand ran over his back comfortingly. Remus sniffed. It was Sirius, he could tell. The other boy had a distinctive scent that clung about him.
"Remmie, he didn't mean to hurt you."
Remus sniffed again, his head still buried in the pillow.
"Sometimes even James doesn't think."
Another sniff and a choked sob.
"I yelled at him. Called him a stupid git if that helps."
Remus shook his head.
Sirius stood and the other boy could hear his feet padding across the floor. The footsteps stopped and then began again, coming closer. "Here, I've got something for you. It was supposed to be for tomorrow, but I thought tonight might be better. Merry Christmas, Rem." Something was laid beside the light haired boy and then he could hear Sirius exiting the room.
Slowly, he sat up and looked at the box next to him. It was rather messily wrapped in blue paper and was about the size of a tissue box. Remus picked it up. Sliding his fingers under the paper, he carefully undid the package. Suddenly, he laughed. It was indeed a tissue box. Turning it around, he found there was something amidst the tissues.
There, nestled among the soft white sheets was a pewter cage with a little painted bird inside it. The bird chirruped once and hopped around. It was not a real bird- of course- but an enchanted figure of one. However, it seemed so lifelike that Remus could not help hoping that one day it would give birth to lots of babies and they could fly around his room, occasionally migrating from bed to bed…
He smiled to himself and set the birdcage on the head of his bed. Then, settling down among his own sheets, he held the tissue box next to him and fell asleep.
To Be Continued in Page Three: Spring
Thanks to…
Sierra Sitruc: Wow! Thanks for liking this one, then! ^_^ Yeah, I know how it is… it can get long and boring, ne?
Wildfire Friendship: XD Thank you!! Yeah, I love dear Remus! He's so cute. I think I'm going to have to give him some terrible fault or else he'll turn out Mary Sue-ish…
Ambrosius: Yes! My newest bird. He's a parakeet and kind of silly. He can't fly too well… poor thing. Hee hee… Update yourself!
Kimagure: Thanks for the wonderful review! Yeah, you know it would bite him! Poor Rem… he's too sweet for his own good sometimes. Yup! Mori likes Sev, too! Maybe he'll make more of an appearance later.
Peegchica: Ah! Thank you thank you! Here is the update!
Kagami: Thank you very much! I'm glad you are enjoying reading this. I like writing it!
Silent-wishes: LOL! Yeah, I did have to torture you! Muwa ha ha ha! Hopefully this will be less torture. ^_^
Fang: I'd love to read your story! And I certainly will when I have the time. Yay! Thanks for the review!
Nijuunigo: They will get together and soon! But I don't want to have them be tooooo young. They'll prolly wind up finding that they like each other in third year or so… but really, I'm not sure.
And thanks to all you who are reading this!