They're just as evil as vampires… Only they can hide it a bit better… These people are… The Mary Sues...
"Welcome to the Mary Sue Chronicles! I'm your host, Kitty!"
"And I'm the other host, Chiba! This is the first episode of our new show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! No, they don't. That's right, isn't it Kitty?"
"Totally, Chiba. The only things that matter, and they aren't even things, are the Mary-Sues."
"Oh, I love Mary Sues! They're just so flawless and they are beautifully beautiful!!!"
"Get it over with, Chiba! Everything is made up remember!!!"
"Oh... That's true..."
"Awwww stop pouting, Chiba. If we were in an anime and girls would love you, you would've had thousand of Mary Sues!"
"Thanks, Kitty."
"No prob, Chiba. For today's episode, we thought of making a little story of our own. Of course, with a pretty Mary Sue in it!!!"
"It's about a Mary Sue and a cold Bladebreaker! Here is the story! Enjoy!"
*-*-*
Once upon a time there was a young boy in his puberty. This boy was Kai Hiwatari, who was currently walking trough the streets of Tokyo, glaring at every person coming in sight. God he was lonely. He really needed somebody.
And this is where the Mary Sue enters to help our beloved blader.
Until that moment, Kai had only loved Rei. Until that moment he had remained one of the best bladers. That was until she came along.
She was perfect. She wasn't selfish. She was an all powerful, unknown blader. She had a name connecting her with the element of her bitbeast. She was a Mary Sue.
Before the moment that you will soon read, Kai had been single. Before that moment, he had an entire kingdom of groupies who thought they could get him. And he all pushed it aside for this one, special, powerful, and not to forget, HOT girl.
Oh the horror!
*-*-*
"Hey, we gave the plot away, Kitty!"
"Shut up, you moron!"
"Awwww, you didn't have to whack me!"
*-*-*
The sounds of blades crashing could be heard. Our poor, poor boy who soon would be trapped in the evil webs of Her.
Kai peeked around the corner, into an alley. Then he gasped. She just got herself a new victim.
He saw... An angel... Oh no, it was better... It was... a Mary Sue!!!
(AN: Let's make her a prep *squeal*!!!)
She made everything go in slow-motion. Her long, blond hair with light blue streaks waved in the wind dramatically, expressing her pretty sea-blue eyes mixed with a dark green that was enchanting. She was so perfect in every way.
And unexpectedly she looked in his direction.
It hit our poor,poor Phoenix immediately. He was In love with butterflies and all.
The Mary Sue smiled and walked over to him. The bladers she was blading had magically disappeared.
She offered her hand. "Hey, my name is Crystal and I'm the most powerful blader of my team, the White Angels."
Of course, Kai took her hand, only to pull back again immediately.
'OMG!!! She touched me!!! MEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!'
Can you imagine Kai thinking that? Well, he did! Again: Oh the horror!!!
"Hey, wanna beybattle?"
"Hn, sure!"
And we all know Mary Sues, being who they are, always win. Take that as an excuse for the author being too lazy to write this stupid, boring scéne with no action whatsoever.
"It was a great match, Kai! I hope to see more of you!" Mary Sue- errr I mean Crystal giggled insanely.
Then she magically disappeared.
But don't worry, not for the last time! Remember, Mary Sues are annoying.
The tournament's finals were next they, and because the author has the same reasons as before, we're not going to write it all down.
To say it short: the Bladebreakers lost every round, and with that the finals of the tournament, from the White Angels, an unknown but all powerful Mary Sue team with our hated Crystal as the leader.
It was late at night and our poor, poor boy had to go outside. Why? Because those are the rules of Mary Sueism.
And there was the great blader Crystal sitting, of course by coincidence.
Kai again realized he liked this girl. She was strong, nice, selfless and not to forget, she also had reaaaaaalllly nice breasts. But he saw perfect tears fall from her perfect face. That's where the rules of Mary Sueism make him go OOC. We all must obey the rules!
"Hey, why are you crying?"
And this is where we get to know the tortured past of our dearly hated Mary Sue. Her mother died, her father raped her, she ran away home and went to Balkov abby.
This is also the point in the story where he finally remembers her. This I've never told before, but she did look familiar to him.
Turns out she was his long-lost best friend from the all-male abby. And aaaallll by Coincidence ne?
Our beloved blader was about to kiss this hated, idiotic girl, when the Baby Blue Rabbit of Doom appeared. He's the greatest of all superheroes!
And the BBRoD destroyed the Mary Sue and saved the day, thus changing the whole plot of this story!
The joy!!!
+~+~+~ Owari ~+~+~+
"Awwwww wasn't that sweet?! Chiba wanted to let it end dramatically. He wanted to let the Mary Sue and Kai kiss. Awful isn't it? But since that isn't an option in this story where everything is made up and the points don't matter, it all went the right way."
"Hmph. I STILL think we should've let our dear Crystal kiss Kai, Kitty."
"You want Kai's fangirls killing you off? I'd prefer living!!!"
"Hmph."
"Anyway, this was the episode of today. We hope you enjoyed our show. Stay tuned for our next episode, where we will interview some Mary Sues! Leave your review, please, so we know if this program should continue! Bye people!"
"Hmph."