*Flashback:
I walk to the hospital, arriving early for my shift, unlike most of my employees who always arrive late. I wasn't ready for what I found.
"How many people are in the room?" I heard someone say as I walked through the doors.
"What is going on here?" I ask as I look around and see everyone's attention is focused on one of the trauma rooms.
"He has a gun, and hostages, Dr. Weaver," Randi answers.
"What?" I say out loud. Hoping to get more insight I walk towards the numerous officers positioned in my ER outside of what I now realize to be trauma two.
"Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to stay back," a police officer informs me as I come closer.
"This is my ER," I say when I suddenly notice Carter staring hard at the door only a few feet away from me.
"John?" I ask trying to get his attention.
*Present:
Dr. Weaver sat at her desk staring fixedly out the window. She had work to do, charts to review, applications to read, papers to file. But that didn't seem important at the moment.
Her gaze fell upon two young boys walking down the street, each probably without a care in the world, she thought. How long would they stay that way? How long does anyone really get to be innocent?
Innocent, now that was an interesting word.
*Flashback:
"She's dead." He states, he must notice that my gaze has turned to Chen, and that I almost hesitantly leaned with the intent to approach.
"Why?" I ask. I know better, but still I ask.
"You didn't listen. It's that simple. Now, if you two start listening then maybe, just maybe I won't kill you too." He emphasizes his point by pointing the gun at me, then at Luka.
What passes through my head? Everything, and nothing at the same time. Carter, Erik, Maggie. Things I've said, things I haven't. Things I've done, things I should've.
I hear noise outside the room, about time I think.
He must hear it too, because he shouts, "I'll kill them too!"
*Present:
"Cara, pancakes are ready," I call into the other room.
"Yay!!" an excited Cara screams, running into the room. Teddy bear still in her hands, and her brown curls bouncing behind her. I watch as she sits on her knees, a habit I haven't been able to break her from. Today somehow it seems okay.
"Thank you Mommy," she says as she shoves some strawberries into her mouth. Sometimes I wonder why I bother to make the pancakes when all she wants is the strawberries.
I watch her eat happily, as I sit down at the small table and begin to eat myself. I look into her beautiful brown eyes and I can see him. And although I want to cry, I smile.
*Flashback:
"John?"
I look up as I hear Kerry approach, but Carter's eyes remain fixed on the door.
"What's going on?" Kerry asks.
What's going on? I think, and I almost want to laugh. Almost, if it wasn't for my overwhelming need to cry. What's going on? Is that supposed to be some simple question? Oh nothing Kerry, we just all wanted to stare at the door together. Too cynical, I know, but its what I thought at the time.
"Susan?" she says, "What's going on?"
"We don't really know." I say. Knowing she wants more, I think of something to continue with. "We think that Luka, Abby and maybe Chen are in there," I force out.
"Okay?" she states almost irritably.
That's when I realize she didn't hear the gunshot. I don't know if I can tell her that. I suddenly don't have to when Carter simply says, "Gunshot."
*Present: She looks like she's fine. She acts like she's fine. If you go by the logic that two plus two inevitably equals four then she's fine? Right? Maybe not.
"Mr. Collins, you are all set," Dr. Lewis says, "I'll be right back with your discharge papers."
She walked out of the exam room with the intent of going to the admit desk, but she found herself in the restroom instead. She stared into the mirror long and hard. Guilt, every time she looked into the mirror she saw the same guilt. She stopped the tears from falling, but she quickly found herself on the floor of one of the stalls, throwing up what little her stomach contained.
*Flashback:
Before I realize what's happening he grabs Abby. No, not her too I think. I would be willing to trade places with her, completely willing.
"You really are beautiful," he says, pulling her too him and pointing the gun at to her head. I can't see her face, because that's what he's looking into, but I know the fear that must be in her eyes. I can almost picture it in my mind.
"No," I say quietly. I want him to hear me, but I don't want him to hurt her. Two people are dead; he can't kill her too.
"What?" he says slightly amused. "I have a gun to your pretty little friends head, and you have the audacity to say 'no'?"
"You can kill me, just let her go." I offer, "Please, just let her go."
"Luka," she stutters. I can hear the tears in her voice.
"Oh, so you want to make a deal, huh?" he says. "Well let me tell you something, 'doctor'" he emphasis the word with disgust. "Whether the two of you walk out of here alive or dead, I'm still not getting away, so I can do whatever the hell I please."
"Just let her go," I plea, I've seen enough people that I love die, I don't want her to be one of them.
"Hum, you know what doc? You're getting to be really annoying," the man says bringing the gun away from Abby, up to point at me. He doesn't loosen her grip on her though, yet somehow I'm reassured that she doesn't make a sudden move that he may not like.
I'm prepared for the worst, but what he says next still bewilders me today. "Get out." He shouts.
"What?" I ask confused. "Well I don't really want to kill ya, but you are way to distracting, so get out." He says pointing the gun at the door. "And tell them that if they try to get in here then I'm going to have to kill her." With that he turns Abby around forcefully so that I must look into her eyes as he brings the gun back to her head and says, "Tell him to go."
She looks at me for a long second before finally whispering, "go."
He gives me a hard look and I reluctantly approach the door. Before I get to far he says, "Hey doc, tell them if they play their cards right, she won't die." I look at Abby hard. "Anything you want to say darling?" he suddenly asks her.
Abby shakes her head. But he pursues, "come on now, he'll give a message for ya, won't you doc?"
I only nod, that's all I'm capable of doing.
She bites her lip and looks down at the floor for a minute before she finally looks up and whispers with tears running down her face, "Tell Carter I love him."
I only nod. Just like before, it's all I'm capable of doing.
I walk to the hospital, arriving early for my shift, unlike most of my employees who always arrive late. I wasn't ready for what I found.
"How many people are in the room?" I heard someone say as I walked through the doors.
"What is going on here?" I ask as I look around and see everyone's attention is focused on one of the trauma rooms.
"He has a gun, and hostages, Dr. Weaver," Randi answers.
"What?" I say out loud. Hoping to get more insight I walk towards the numerous officers positioned in my ER outside of what I now realize to be trauma two.
"Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to stay back," a police officer informs me as I come closer.
"This is my ER," I say when I suddenly notice Carter staring hard at the door only a few feet away from me.
"John?" I ask trying to get his attention.
*Present:
Dr. Weaver sat at her desk staring fixedly out the window. She had work to do, charts to review, applications to read, papers to file. But that didn't seem important at the moment.
Her gaze fell upon two young boys walking down the street, each probably without a care in the world, she thought. How long would they stay that way? How long does anyone really get to be innocent?
Innocent, now that was an interesting word.
*Flashback:
"She's dead." He states, he must notice that my gaze has turned to Chen, and that I almost hesitantly leaned with the intent to approach.
"Why?" I ask. I know better, but still I ask.
"You didn't listen. It's that simple. Now, if you two start listening then maybe, just maybe I won't kill you too." He emphasizes his point by pointing the gun at me, then at Luka.
What passes through my head? Everything, and nothing at the same time. Carter, Erik, Maggie. Things I've said, things I haven't. Things I've done, things I should've.
I hear noise outside the room, about time I think.
He must hear it too, because he shouts, "I'll kill them too!"
*Present:
"Cara, pancakes are ready," I call into the other room.
"Yay!!" an excited Cara screams, running into the room. Teddy bear still in her hands, and her brown curls bouncing behind her. I watch as she sits on her knees, a habit I haven't been able to break her from. Today somehow it seems okay.
"Thank you Mommy," she says as she shoves some strawberries into her mouth. Sometimes I wonder why I bother to make the pancakes when all she wants is the strawberries.
I watch her eat happily, as I sit down at the small table and begin to eat myself. I look into her beautiful brown eyes and I can see him. And although I want to cry, I smile.
*Flashback:
"John?"
I look up as I hear Kerry approach, but Carter's eyes remain fixed on the door.
"What's going on?" Kerry asks.
What's going on? I think, and I almost want to laugh. Almost, if it wasn't for my overwhelming need to cry. What's going on? Is that supposed to be some simple question? Oh nothing Kerry, we just all wanted to stare at the door together. Too cynical, I know, but its what I thought at the time.
"Susan?" she says, "What's going on?"
"We don't really know." I say. Knowing she wants more, I think of something to continue with. "We think that Luka, Abby and maybe Chen are in there," I force out.
"Okay?" she states almost irritably.
That's when I realize she didn't hear the gunshot. I don't know if I can tell her that. I suddenly don't have to when Carter simply says, "Gunshot."
*Present: She looks like she's fine. She acts like she's fine. If you go by the logic that two plus two inevitably equals four then she's fine? Right? Maybe not.
"Mr. Collins, you are all set," Dr. Lewis says, "I'll be right back with your discharge papers."
She walked out of the exam room with the intent of going to the admit desk, but she found herself in the restroom instead. She stared into the mirror long and hard. Guilt, every time she looked into the mirror she saw the same guilt. She stopped the tears from falling, but she quickly found herself on the floor of one of the stalls, throwing up what little her stomach contained.
*Flashback:
Before I realize what's happening he grabs Abby. No, not her too I think. I would be willing to trade places with her, completely willing.
"You really are beautiful," he says, pulling her too him and pointing the gun at to her head. I can't see her face, because that's what he's looking into, but I know the fear that must be in her eyes. I can almost picture it in my mind.
"No," I say quietly. I want him to hear me, but I don't want him to hurt her. Two people are dead; he can't kill her too.
"What?" he says slightly amused. "I have a gun to your pretty little friends head, and you have the audacity to say 'no'?"
"You can kill me, just let her go." I offer, "Please, just let her go."
"Luka," she stutters. I can hear the tears in her voice.
"Oh, so you want to make a deal, huh?" he says. "Well let me tell you something, 'doctor'" he emphasis the word with disgust. "Whether the two of you walk out of here alive or dead, I'm still not getting away, so I can do whatever the hell I please."
"Just let her go," I plea, I've seen enough people that I love die, I don't want her to be one of them.
"Hum, you know what doc? You're getting to be really annoying," the man says bringing the gun away from Abby, up to point at me. He doesn't loosen her grip on her though, yet somehow I'm reassured that she doesn't make a sudden move that he may not like.
I'm prepared for the worst, but what he says next still bewilders me today. "Get out." He shouts.
"What?" I ask confused. "Well I don't really want to kill ya, but you are way to distracting, so get out." He says pointing the gun at the door. "And tell them that if they try to get in here then I'm going to have to kill her." With that he turns Abby around forcefully so that I must look into her eyes as he brings the gun back to her head and says, "Tell him to go."
She looks at me for a long second before finally whispering, "go."
He gives me a hard look and I reluctantly approach the door. Before I get to far he says, "Hey doc, tell them if they play their cards right, she won't die." I look at Abby hard. "Anything you want to say darling?" he suddenly asks her.
Abby shakes her head. But he pursues, "come on now, he'll give a message for ya, won't you doc?"
I only nod, that's all I'm capable of doing.
She bites her lip and looks down at the floor for a minute before she finally looks up and whispers with tears running down her face, "Tell Carter I love him."
I only nod. Just like before, it's all I'm capable of doing.