Hard Choices: Chapter 5
Within a few moments of intently watching Anya sleep, she'd already begun to stir. Her eyes flickered, opened heavily and caught Spike's gaze staring over her.
"Spike," she whispered hoarsely.
"Right here, luv."
She sat up in panic, glancing around the room. "Xander," she swallowed, "he was...."
"No worries. He's in the other room," he answered, easing her back down onto the bed.
Anya closed her eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath.
" That wasn't Xander."
"I warned you not to come here yet. He wasn't ready."
"He tried to...."
"He couldn't help it," he interrupted. "Wasn't his fault, pet. You know what he is now. You came here just the same, ignoring what I said."
"I just wanted to see him, you know? See if he was still...."
"The same?"
She nodded, her eyes moistening with tears she desperately tried to hold back.
"He's still Xander. But now something more powerful controls him, drives him. Xander's thoughts, his cravings, his desires are in the hands of a demon. No changing that."
"The man I love is gone, isn't he."
Spike remained silent, no need to answer.
"You think you're okay to move?"
She answered with only a nod.
"I'm gonna get him out of here. Take your time but you have to be gone when we get back. Next time," he sighed deeply. "Don't let there be a next time."
She closed her eyes and rolled away from him. He saw the shaking of her shoulders and heard the sobs begin. As much as he wanted to comfort her, he knew he needed to get back to his childe. Grabbing a clean shirt from a drawer in the dresser, he headed off to the other room, closing the bedroom door behind him.
"Here Xander, put this on," he said casually, intending to hand the man the tee shirt he was holding. Instead, his eyes grew wide when he rounded the corner and saw Xander in front of him.
The other vampire was seated, legs spread, eyes squeezed shut with his head leaned back on the backside of the couch. Only then did Spike realize the emotions playing on Xander's face....mouth open, sucking in breath he did not need. The blonde's eyes traveled down the naked torso, beneath the trail of hair leading to a large erection standing proudly from his open jeans. One hand was firmly cupping his balls, taunting and teasing as the other worked circles around the large mushroom head, easing drops of pre- cum out to help slide quickly down and then back up the rock-hard shaft.
Xander felt Spike's presence immediately when he entered the room. His motions quickened, letting the other vampire know he had no intention of stopping. Instead, he let out a low moan, licked his lips and opened his eyes to stare at the blue ones watching him.
Spike shook his head and leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed in front of him. A scowl formed on his face as he waited for the other man to finish, his eyes focusing solidly on the actions of Xander's hands.
Xander continued with his eyes locked on Spike's until he finally let go, allowing the orgasm to rock through his body. His hands dropped and his eyes closed, calming after his release.
"Feel better now?" Spike asked sarcastically.
"Much," Xander answered, not letting the tone bother him, challenging him with his own. "All that blood made me horny, and since Anya wasn't available..."
"Get dressed," Spike ordered, as he threw the balled up shirt onto the couch and headed to the closet to grab his duster. "And from now on, if you're gonna wank, do it in private."
Xander rolled his eyes and reached for a blanket on the chair next to him to clean up the mess he'd made. "Thought you'd enjoy it."
"Not my kind of entertainment, mate."
"Not what I read," he answered, grabbing the shirt and pulling it over his head.
"What?"
"Nothing. Let's get outta here."
Xander ignored the confused looks he was receiving from the other man and trudged passed him into the hallway. Spike shook his head, dipped in his pocket for his smokes and took the lead, heading into the darkening street.
"Wow, this is cool," the younger vampire howled, taking in the sights with his new eyes.
Spike couldn't help but smile, trying to remember what his first night was like. The amazement of the darkness coming to life with heightened senses was something no vamp would ever forget. He lead them through deserted side streets and darkened alleys, avoiding humans as much as he could. He kept Xander at bay, grabbing his arm tightly when he scented prey nearby. The brunette growled in protest, forcing Spike to reply with a threatening growl of his own.
They made their way to the nearest cemetery, the blonde curious to see his childe in battle. Admitted, he was anxious to test the new vampire's strength and instincts. Within minutes, he was granted his request as several vampires surrounded them.
Casting glances as Xander fought expertly at his side, Spike watched as his childe dusted his fair share of opponents, until they were left once again standing alone in the graveyard. He smiled, a sense of pride washing over him. Xander was strong, made from a superior line, and he was his.
"Good job," he offered, leaning against a tombstone, fetching his cigarette pack from the pocket of his duster. With a tilt of his head, he lit the end and inhaled deeply.
"Never thought I'd hear that from you."
"Never thought I'd say it. We'll work on your technique some, but I do give credit where it's due."
"Humm," Xander mumbled, taking the compliment. He leaned back beside the other man and placed his hands in his pockets, adjusting the bulge that had begun to form after the fight.
They stood in silence, both unsure of how to react to the other. A minute went by before anyone spoke.
"Always happens," Spike said, nodding toward Xander's noticeable erection.
Xander raised an eyebrow and speedily removed his hands.
"Blood's gotta go somewhere, right? Get's to pumpin', makes you feel alive for a while. Best hard-ons always after a fight."
The younger vamp watched intently as the cigarette was pulled on and then flicked to the ground. Spike let out the last exhale of smoke and eyed Xander suspiciously.
"What are you gawking at?"
Without an answer, Spike found himself pushed roughly against the tombstone, Xander's body leaning heavily into him. Cool lips pressed against his, as he felt a hardness pushing against his own tightened jeans.
He quickly came to his senses and grabbed Xander's shoulders, pushing the other man away. "What the fuck are you doing, Harris?"
A hand cupped him firmly, finding the hardened shaft through his jeans. Spike moaned softly, but took Xander's wrist, pushing it away.
"Stop."
Dark eyes met his. "But I thought. don't you want it?"
"Not from you, you git." Spike slipped his hands inside his duster pockets, pulling the jacket around to hide his arousal.
"But the book said...." Xander stopped, not sure of what to say.
"What did the bloody book say, Harris?!"
"You're my sire." The dark eyes left Spike's blue ones and found the ground instead. "I'm supposed to...." his voice trailed off, afraid to say the words out loud.
"Bugger that! Bleedin' wankers writing about things they have no business in! That's not the way it works, Harris!"
"But you gave it to me. Told me to read it. I thought...."
"You thought wrong. Yeah, I thought there'd be some useful bits in it, never actually read the soddin' thing."
"So that stuff doesn't actually happen?"
Spike closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath, pictures of Angelus swarming in his head.
"Fuck, Harris. Yes, it happens. But not with us. That's not the way things are gonna be."
"Oh."
The hurt in Xander's voice was evident, confusing Spike even more. "Look here, mate. It's not an insult or whatever it is you're thinking in that screwed up brain of yours. I just don't bugger other men. All there is to it." He narrowed his eyes. "Didn't think you did either."
"I don't," he replied quickly. "I didn't. I don't know. For some reason, right now, it doesn't seem to matter. I just need.... something." Shrugging his shoulders, he looked away from the other man. "I just figured you were hard, I'm hard..."
"Not gonna happen, Harris. I can ignore you and head the other way if you need to itch that scratch. Work it out however you like, but don't include me in those plans."
"Fine," Xander pouted. "Where to next? Got anything else to kill?"
Knowing the brunette would rather stay uncomfortable than to give in to his suggestion, Spike's eyes shifted around the empty cemetery. "Guess we could prowl about for a bit. Doesn't look like much's happenin' tonight though."
"Okay then, now what?"
"Fancy a beer?"
Xander's eyes rose hopefully. "The Bronze?"
"Fuck no. You're daft if you think I'd let you anywhere near there."
The hopefulness eased away, making room for frustration.
"You're a vampire now, Harris. That's not your world anymore."
The statement hit him like a ton of bricks. He was no longer in the world of the living. His friends, his job, his classy apartment he'd worked so hard to acquire. gone. Up until then, he'd been running on instinct. Blood, adrenaline and the violence he needed so badly. He hadn't had time to sit and think about how things had actually changed. He had no one. No one but this creature beside him... his sire. Who didn't care and didn't want him. Instead, intent on barking orders. Don't hunt, don't feed, don't do anything that might upset his precious Buffy.
Xander grit his teeth, grinding the back ones fiercely. Fuck the slayer. "Yeah. Let's get a beer."
TBC....
Within a few moments of intently watching Anya sleep, she'd already begun to stir. Her eyes flickered, opened heavily and caught Spike's gaze staring over her.
"Spike," she whispered hoarsely.
"Right here, luv."
She sat up in panic, glancing around the room. "Xander," she swallowed, "he was...."
"No worries. He's in the other room," he answered, easing her back down onto the bed.
Anya closed her eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath.
" That wasn't Xander."
"I warned you not to come here yet. He wasn't ready."
"He tried to...."
"He couldn't help it," he interrupted. "Wasn't his fault, pet. You know what he is now. You came here just the same, ignoring what I said."
"I just wanted to see him, you know? See if he was still...."
"The same?"
She nodded, her eyes moistening with tears she desperately tried to hold back.
"He's still Xander. But now something more powerful controls him, drives him. Xander's thoughts, his cravings, his desires are in the hands of a demon. No changing that."
"The man I love is gone, isn't he."
Spike remained silent, no need to answer.
"You think you're okay to move?"
She answered with only a nod.
"I'm gonna get him out of here. Take your time but you have to be gone when we get back. Next time," he sighed deeply. "Don't let there be a next time."
She closed her eyes and rolled away from him. He saw the shaking of her shoulders and heard the sobs begin. As much as he wanted to comfort her, he knew he needed to get back to his childe. Grabbing a clean shirt from a drawer in the dresser, he headed off to the other room, closing the bedroom door behind him.
"Here Xander, put this on," he said casually, intending to hand the man the tee shirt he was holding. Instead, his eyes grew wide when he rounded the corner and saw Xander in front of him.
The other vampire was seated, legs spread, eyes squeezed shut with his head leaned back on the backside of the couch. Only then did Spike realize the emotions playing on Xander's face....mouth open, sucking in breath he did not need. The blonde's eyes traveled down the naked torso, beneath the trail of hair leading to a large erection standing proudly from his open jeans. One hand was firmly cupping his balls, taunting and teasing as the other worked circles around the large mushroom head, easing drops of pre- cum out to help slide quickly down and then back up the rock-hard shaft.
Xander felt Spike's presence immediately when he entered the room. His motions quickened, letting the other vampire know he had no intention of stopping. Instead, he let out a low moan, licked his lips and opened his eyes to stare at the blue ones watching him.
Spike shook his head and leaned back against the wall with his arms crossed in front of him. A scowl formed on his face as he waited for the other man to finish, his eyes focusing solidly on the actions of Xander's hands.
Xander continued with his eyes locked on Spike's until he finally let go, allowing the orgasm to rock through his body. His hands dropped and his eyes closed, calming after his release.
"Feel better now?" Spike asked sarcastically.
"Much," Xander answered, not letting the tone bother him, challenging him with his own. "All that blood made me horny, and since Anya wasn't available..."
"Get dressed," Spike ordered, as he threw the balled up shirt onto the couch and headed to the closet to grab his duster. "And from now on, if you're gonna wank, do it in private."
Xander rolled his eyes and reached for a blanket on the chair next to him to clean up the mess he'd made. "Thought you'd enjoy it."
"Not my kind of entertainment, mate."
"Not what I read," he answered, grabbing the shirt and pulling it over his head.
"What?"
"Nothing. Let's get outta here."
Xander ignored the confused looks he was receiving from the other man and trudged passed him into the hallway. Spike shook his head, dipped in his pocket for his smokes and took the lead, heading into the darkening street.
"Wow, this is cool," the younger vampire howled, taking in the sights with his new eyes.
Spike couldn't help but smile, trying to remember what his first night was like. The amazement of the darkness coming to life with heightened senses was something no vamp would ever forget. He lead them through deserted side streets and darkened alleys, avoiding humans as much as he could. He kept Xander at bay, grabbing his arm tightly when he scented prey nearby. The brunette growled in protest, forcing Spike to reply with a threatening growl of his own.
They made their way to the nearest cemetery, the blonde curious to see his childe in battle. Admitted, he was anxious to test the new vampire's strength and instincts. Within minutes, he was granted his request as several vampires surrounded them.
Casting glances as Xander fought expertly at his side, Spike watched as his childe dusted his fair share of opponents, until they were left once again standing alone in the graveyard. He smiled, a sense of pride washing over him. Xander was strong, made from a superior line, and he was his.
"Good job," he offered, leaning against a tombstone, fetching his cigarette pack from the pocket of his duster. With a tilt of his head, he lit the end and inhaled deeply.
"Never thought I'd hear that from you."
"Never thought I'd say it. We'll work on your technique some, but I do give credit where it's due."
"Humm," Xander mumbled, taking the compliment. He leaned back beside the other man and placed his hands in his pockets, adjusting the bulge that had begun to form after the fight.
They stood in silence, both unsure of how to react to the other. A minute went by before anyone spoke.
"Always happens," Spike said, nodding toward Xander's noticeable erection.
Xander raised an eyebrow and speedily removed his hands.
"Blood's gotta go somewhere, right? Get's to pumpin', makes you feel alive for a while. Best hard-ons always after a fight."
The younger vamp watched intently as the cigarette was pulled on and then flicked to the ground. Spike let out the last exhale of smoke and eyed Xander suspiciously.
"What are you gawking at?"
Without an answer, Spike found himself pushed roughly against the tombstone, Xander's body leaning heavily into him. Cool lips pressed against his, as he felt a hardness pushing against his own tightened jeans.
He quickly came to his senses and grabbed Xander's shoulders, pushing the other man away. "What the fuck are you doing, Harris?"
A hand cupped him firmly, finding the hardened shaft through his jeans. Spike moaned softly, but took Xander's wrist, pushing it away.
"Stop."
Dark eyes met his. "But I thought. don't you want it?"
"Not from you, you git." Spike slipped his hands inside his duster pockets, pulling the jacket around to hide his arousal.
"But the book said...." Xander stopped, not sure of what to say.
"What did the bloody book say, Harris?!"
"You're my sire." The dark eyes left Spike's blue ones and found the ground instead. "I'm supposed to...." his voice trailed off, afraid to say the words out loud.
"Bugger that! Bleedin' wankers writing about things they have no business in! That's not the way it works, Harris!"
"But you gave it to me. Told me to read it. I thought...."
"You thought wrong. Yeah, I thought there'd be some useful bits in it, never actually read the soddin' thing."
"So that stuff doesn't actually happen?"
Spike closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath, pictures of Angelus swarming in his head.
"Fuck, Harris. Yes, it happens. But not with us. That's not the way things are gonna be."
"Oh."
The hurt in Xander's voice was evident, confusing Spike even more. "Look here, mate. It's not an insult or whatever it is you're thinking in that screwed up brain of yours. I just don't bugger other men. All there is to it." He narrowed his eyes. "Didn't think you did either."
"I don't," he replied quickly. "I didn't. I don't know. For some reason, right now, it doesn't seem to matter. I just need.... something." Shrugging his shoulders, he looked away from the other man. "I just figured you were hard, I'm hard..."
"Not gonna happen, Harris. I can ignore you and head the other way if you need to itch that scratch. Work it out however you like, but don't include me in those plans."
"Fine," Xander pouted. "Where to next? Got anything else to kill?"
Knowing the brunette would rather stay uncomfortable than to give in to his suggestion, Spike's eyes shifted around the empty cemetery. "Guess we could prowl about for a bit. Doesn't look like much's happenin' tonight though."
"Okay then, now what?"
"Fancy a beer?"
Xander's eyes rose hopefully. "The Bronze?"
"Fuck no. You're daft if you think I'd let you anywhere near there."
The hopefulness eased away, making room for frustration.
"You're a vampire now, Harris. That's not your world anymore."
The statement hit him like a ton of bricks. He was no longer in the world of the living. His friends, his job, his classy apartment he'd worked so hard to acquire. gone. Up until then, he'd been running on instinct. Blood, adrenaline and the violence he needed so badly. He hadn't had time to sit and think about how things had actually changed. He had no one. No one but this creature beside him... his sire. Who didn't care and didn't want him. Instead, intent on barking orders. Don't hunt, don't feed, don't do anything that might upset his precious Buffy.
Xander grit his teeth, grinding the back ones fiercely. Fuck the slayer. "Yeah. Let's get a beer."
TBC....