A/N: I know it's been a while, but I finally finished this chapter, hope it
was worth the wait. As always, please review.
**Flashback:
I reached the door, and was just able to peek inside the room briefly before I was forced back by the now responding officers. I'm sure if Carter had been a few seconds later they would have forced him back too.
My gaze in those few seconds fell upon the lifeless form of one of my friends. Jing-Mei, I couldn't deny it now. It was true, completely true. She was gone.
It was my fault.
As I'm forced further back from the door, Carter suddenly walks out with Abby in his arms. I smile weakly as I realize that Abby is alive. I think we all thought, at least I thought the worst had happened. Maybe it had?
Tears stream down my face the same way it streams down theirs. Was it from relief that it was over? I thought so at the time, but now I'm really quite sure that that wasn't why.
I watch Carter walk away without looking at anyone but Abby and his path straight ahead. I felt very selfish at the moment, because I wanted him to notice me, comfort me, and it was wrong.
My attention was brought back toward the exam room, as Luka appeared only inches away from me.
**Present:
Kevin had gone to work soon after Susan had gotten home. He was going to drop the kids off at daycare, but now that Lacie was sick, Aason stayed home as well.
Lacie's fever was getting worse and Susan decided it was time to take her down to the ER. She was a doctor, yes, but Susan felt she needed to take her in.
So she packed up the dipper bag, and got Lacie ready. That part was easy compared to getting Aason ready. The little boy just didn't want to cooperate.
"Aason, please let me put your sneakers on," and exasperated Susan said.
"But Mommy I wanna play!" he said before running off.
"Aason, we need to go to the hospital, your sister is sick," she said.
"I don't wanna go!" he continued.
Susan shook her head in frustration, and finally said, "I'll get you some ice cream on the way home, if you please come in here so I can put your shoes on." Bribery, she had hoped it wouldn't come to that, but she was desperate.
That brought him into the room quickly with his shoes.
**Flashback:
I don't know how long I stood in the exam room where I had been questioned before I was able to move towards the trauma room that I had left, The place where it all had happened.
One place, one event had changed the lives of so many. And I was one of them. The 'lucky one' they told me. Why didn't they believe me when I said I wasn't lucky?
I walked toward the door just in time to see Carter's back disappear down the hallway. It brought great relief to my heart when I realized that he held Abby in his arms. However, I was still unsure of who was hit by the second shot that rang through the ER.
I looked towards Susan, gathering the courage I would need to speak, to ask, to know.
Her eyes emitted so much emotion. I didn't know if it was possible to be feeling so many things at once, but she was, I was. It was scary.
My lips attempted to form a question. What question? I don't know; I had so many.
She spoke first, "Abby's okay. ." she struggled with the word before choosing a different one, "she's alive." Yes alive. We would all find out very soon that she was far from 'okay.'
**Present:
Luka arrived home three hours later then Christina expected him. He hadn't realized how quickly the time passed.
The day had begun to darken, and the lights shown brightly through the windows of the small house that he approached.
She would be worried, he knew. Unfortunately he didn't care. Not today. He had said that so many times. Not today.
He suddenly wondered why it hit him again. Years, he had tried for years to get through the guilt, the shame that had resulted from the experience. He had learned to cope with and even overcome the incidence that left him empty inside.
He sat down on the steps that led to the front door as he pondered the rush of emotions that he felt. It was different then the emotions he experienced when he lost his family. He couldn't have saved them. He couldn't have changed things.
This time he could have. That's why the guilt came back. That's why he could never see her again. No. Never.
"Luka," Christina's voice said through the screen door behind him.
**Flashback:
"Abby, Ab look at me," I encouraged as I sat her down on the gurney in an exam room. I didn't know which one at the time, and even now I couldn't tell you which one it was.
She didn't look at me, instead she pulled herself into the same position that I had found her in. She had her knees pulled up to her chest, and she buried her head behind them. She was shaking slightly, and this more then anything scared me.
I could here her sobs and I desperately wanted to comfort her, but I didn't know what to do.
So I continued calling her name, "Abby," no response.
"Ab please look at me, I want to help you," she shock her head. At least she responded.
"Abs," I said as I quietly sigh.
I hear her sobs quiet slightly and her breathing become slightly quicker before she brings her eyes up to meet mine.
I am no longer aware of what I was going to say when I was finally able to get her attention. So I said, "I love you."
She looked away quickly to the opposite wall, and I am still unsure today of whether it was my words, or the noisy appearance of Dr. Weaver that brings her attention to the other side of the room.
**Present:
Having given up on Doc's Carter headed towards the cafeteria. The food was bad, but at least there were no memories there. He barely entered that place; there was nothing that could haunt him there.
The walls were the same bland white as the rest of the hospital, he observed. The tables were a mismatched assembly of different pale pastel colors with chairs that complimented them. He let his mind wonder over aimless observations like those for some time before he realized just how unconsciously it was happening.
By the time he had gotten up to the counter he was no longer hungry, but he grabbed a hamburger and a coke anyway. Even if he didn't eat it, it would look like he had a purpose in the cafeteria.
~~
A/N: yes, I know I already left one at the beginning, but I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed chapter 10, and any chapters before that. Just a little note, if you want to guess at what's going to happen, please send your review to hailie_jade24@yahoo.com instead of posting it on the reviews page, and I'll write back to you, thanx.
**Flashback:
I reached the door, and was just able to peek inside the room briefly before I was forced back by the now responding officers. I'm sure if Carter had been a few seconds later they would have forced him back too.
My gaze in those few seconds fell upon the lifeless form of one of my friends. Jing-Mei, I couldn't deny it now. It was true, completely true. She was gone.
It was my fault.
As I'm forced further back from the door, Carter suddenly walks out with Abby in his arms. I smile weakly as I realize that Abby is alive. I think we all thought, at least I thought the worst had happened. Maybe it had?
Tears stream down my face the same way it streams down theirs. Was it from relief that it was over? I thought so at the time, but now I'm really quite sure that that wasn't why.
I watch Carter walk away without looking at anyone but Abby and his path straight ahead. I felt very selfish at the moment, because I wanted him to notice me, comfort me, and it was wrong.
My attention was brought back toward the exam room, as Luka appeared only inches away from me.
**Present:
Kevin had gone to work soon after Susan had gotten home. He was going to drop the kids off at daycare, but now that Lacie was sick, Aason stayed home as well.
Lacie's fever was getting worse and Susan decided it was time to take her down to the ER. She was a doctor, yes, but Susan felt she needed to take her in.
So she packed up the dipper bag, and got Lacie ready. That part was easy compared to getting Aason ready. The little boy just didn't want to cooperate.
"Aason, please let me put your sneakers on," and exasperated Susan said.
"But Mommy I wanna play!" he said before running off.
"Aason, we need to go to the hospital, your sister is sick," she said.
"I don't wanna go!" he continued.
Susan shook her head in frustration, and finally said, "I'll get you some ice cream on the way home, if you please come in here so I can put your shoes on." Bribery, she had hoped it wouldn't come to that, but she was desperate.
That brought him into the room quickly with his shoes.
**Flashback:
I don't know how long I stood in the exam room where I had been questioned before I was able to move towards the trauma room that I had left, The place where it all had happened.
One place, one event had changed the lives of so many. And I was one of them. The 'lucky one' they told me. Why didn't they believe me when I said I wasn't lucky?
I walked toward the door just in time to see Carter's back disappear down the hallway. It brought great relief to my heart when I realized that he held Abby in his arms. However, I was still unsure of who was hit by the second shot that rang through the ER.
I looked towards Susan, gathering the courage I would need to speak, to ask, to know.
Her eyes emitted so much emotion. I didn't know if it was possible to be feeling so many things at once, but she was, I was. It was scary.
My lips attempted to form a question. What question? I don't know; I had so many.
She spoke first, "Abby's okay. ." she struggled with the word before choosing a different one, "she's alive." Yes alive. We would all find out very soon that she was far from 'okay.'
**Present:
Luka arrived home three hours later then Christina expected him. He hadn't realized how quickly the time passed.
The day had begun to darken, and the lights shown brightly through the windows of the small house that he approached.
She would be worried, he knew. Unfortunately he didn't care. Not today. He had said that so many times. Not today.
He suddenly wondered why it hit him again. Years, he had tried for years to get through the guilt, the shame that had resulted from the experience. He had learned to cope with and even overcome the incidence that left him empty inside.
He sat down on the steps that led to the front door as he pondered the rush of emotions that he felt. It was different then the emotions he experienced when he lost his family. He couldn't have saved them. He couldn't have changed things.
This time he could have. That's why the guilt came back. That's why he could never see her again. No. Never.
"Luka," Christina's voice said through the screen door behind him.
**Flashback:
"Abby, Ab look at me," I encouraged as I sat her down on the gurney in an exam room. I didn't know which one at the time, and even now I couldn't tell you which one it was.
She didn't look at me, instead she pulled herself into the same position that I had found her in. She had her knees pulled up to her chest, and she buried her head behind them. She was shaking slightly, and this more then anything scared me.
I could here her sobs and I desperately wanted to comfort her, but I didn't know what to do.
So I continued calling her name, "Abby," no response.
"Ab please look at me, I want to help you," she shock her head. At least she responded.
"Abs," I said as I quietly sigh.
I hear her sobs quiet slightly and her breathing become slightly quicker before she brings her eyes up to meet mine.
I am no longer aware of what I was going to say when I was finally able to get her attention. So I said, "I love you."
She looked away quickly to the opposite wall, and I am still unsure today of whether it was my words, or the noisy appearance of Dr. Weaver that brings her attention to the other side of the room.
**Present:
Having given up on Doc's Carter headed towards the cafeteria. The food was bad, but at least there were no memories there. He barely entered that place; there was nothing that could haunt him there.
The walls were the same bland white as the rest of the hospital, he observed. The tables were a mismatched assembly of different pale pastel colors with chairs that complimented them. He let his mind wonder over aimless observations like those for some time before he realized just how unconsciously it was happening.
By the time he had gotten up to the counter he was no longer hungry, but he grabbed a hamburger and a coke anyway. Even if he didn't eat it, it would look like he had a purpose in the cafeteria.
~~
A/N: yes, I know I already left one at the beginning, but I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed chapter 10, and any chapters before that. Just a little note, if you want to guess at what's going to happen, please send your review to hailie_jade24@yahoo.com instead of posting it on the reviews page, and I'll write back to you, thanx.