~~~

I interrupt this fic to bring you these short messages to my reviewers.

~x~

Sunstar2: "Queen of the Parody" huh? I'm not sure everyone will agree, but thanks all the same.

~x~

wolfhorse: …Brennan's character? I wasn't aware he had one. ;-)

~x~

Cat: Shucks.  

~x~

I will now return you to the normal broadcasting.

~~~

"Adam I should have stopped them! Now they have Shalimar and god knows what they're doing to her!" Brennan whined. And boy could this guy whine.

"Can't be nearly as horrifying as what I'm going through now." Adam muttered. "Anyway, I thought Emma had already been through this with you. However much we want this fic to end," oh dear lord someone shoot me now, he added to himself, "the list of things to parody is too long to be even half way finished in just 1,869 words. Now I know that if we were strictly going to follow the show you'd whine at me for another half an hour but…er…" Adam struggled to think of a way to get Brennan out of his hair. Speaking of which, he really needed to get some more shampoo, someone was stealing his and he had a feeling it was Shalimar. Oh, sudden inspiration! "…if you really want me to find Shalimar quickly you'll go whine at What's His Name instead. I need to concentrate while I search for the smallest little clue that will lead us to where they're hiding."

Brennan brightened and walked off to find…what was his name again?

"Jesse!" he called out, suddenly remembering the fourth member of Mutant X.

"I'm in the Double Helix." Came a voice from over the com-link. Brennan wasn't sure who the voice belonged to, but he went to the Double Helix anyway. When he got there he found…Jesse!…tinkering with some controls.

"What you doing?" he asked.

Now, can I just take a moment to explain something. As everyone knows, Jesse is the least interesting member of Mutant X. As such there are specific rules about mentioning his name in a fic. I've already said that his name is absolutely not to be mentioned if there are no other members of Mutant X present. If at all possible, his name is not to be mentioned even in the presence of the others. Another rule is that no thanks is ever to be given to him especially if he saves the entire world. The final rule is that he should not speak unless spoken to, and when he does speak the sentences can contain no more than five words. These rules do not apply to the very few fics out there that are Jesse-centric or have a Jesse/someone else (no capitals) relationship. To be quite frank though, the people who write these fics are all absolutely stark raving mad and should be avoided (along with their fics) at all costs. Their number one spot to hang out is the PureMX  boards, though they do make appearance elsewhere. Should one be encountered, pull out a picture of a topless Brennan and inexplicably they shall be blinded. Alas, I digress.

The purpose of this little tangent is to explain that this is what What's His Name would say in reply to Brennan: "First of all I had to clean out the engines which were in a terrible mess after you manage to suck an entire flock of birds into them. Several parts needed replacing, including most of the hydraulic pipes. I was recalibrating the systems and uploading some new software that Adam wanted on. I made a few changes myself because there were some flaws in his programs - I would swear that he was Bill Gates in a past life – and it should all be running better now. Finally, I'm replacing this entire panel because you spilt Diet Coke all over it." Fortunately, due to the five-word rule, I'm not allowed to say this so I don't have to think of numerous things that could go wrong with the Double Helix. So, What's His Name actually says…

"I'm fixing it."

"Sounds complicated." Brennan replied. "I should have stopped them from taking her! It's all my fault! If only I had found the light switch, then we could have taken them on together. I would have zorched the kinetic, then follow it up with a swift right hook…"

Hours pass.

"…give him a jumping-spinning-heel kick, duck his roundhouse, and stop for a quick breath to watch Shalimar fighting the feral. He'd be flying out of reach…"

More hours pass.

"…she'd have him pinned down and I would step back for one final tesla coil. I'd hit him with everything I had and he'd go flying across the room. Just at that point, you guys would come storming in, ready to back us up, but we'd have taken care of everything."

"Brennan?" What's His Name said, after spending the last three hours banging his head against the wall. "I think I heard Adam. He was calling your name."

"Oh? Must have found out something important that he wants to tell me before you and Emma. Better get back to work." Brennan walked off.

He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Lest-It-Encourage-The-Wrath-Of-Brennan-Fans went to another panel and opened it up.

"Why was it I had to hide in there again?" Emma asked. The innards of the Double Helix were very cramped and smelled. Not the place to be when listening to one of Brennan's six-hour whines.

"Because." (The actual explanation was "Because you didn't want Brennan to find you here and ask what you were doing." – five-word rule again.)

"Oh yeah." Emma giggled. She went over to a computer screen and pulled up the window she had been looking at before. And resumed giggling.

"What you looking at? *cough cough splutter* asked.

Meanwhile, in Abandoned Warehouse Mark 2…

Shalimar screamed. And boy could this girl scream. Being feral she had a larger lung capacity, stronger vocal cords and more developed diaphragm muscles which all meant she could scream longer, harder, and louder than most people.

"Oh stop being such a big baby," said Draco. For people with apparently higher pain thresholds ferals sure did scream a lot.

"Its only disinfectant."