Back to annoy and distress once more. Usual disclaimer.
Chapter Twelve
I gulped. I swallowed. I took on board a few breaths of soothing air, only to have it knocked from my stomach by Emily's nearest and dearest's fist.
"I bid you good day, sir. I hope never to set eyes on you again."
He trotted off toward the door, but stopped, spinning on his axis, he yelled;
"And I hope you never set eyes on my beloved little girl again!"
The door banged, my heart thumped, and then I heard Jeeves' gentle breathing behind me. In all the bally confusion, I had quite forgotten that my manservant was Emily's uncle.
From where I stood, he sounded like a bull elephant, about to charge down some unfortunate creature in the way.
"Umm, Jeeves." I said, trying to lighten the atmosphere, don't you know.
"Yes, sir."
He looked at me like he would at something unpleasant on his shoe. I wanted to take the strong line with him, but I knew that when Jeeves decides, all is decided, so to speak.
"Look Jeeves, I love Emily, and you'll have to work jolly hard to part our two souls."
"Indeed, sir."
Then he drifted out, with a callous look over his shoulder at me. I loped off to my chambers, rubbing my aching stomach.
The next day, Jeeves had popped out somewhere, and I was alone and heart broken in the flat. Then, with all the dramatics of a good play, the phone rang.
With trembling fingers I picked it up.
"Hello? Wooster here."
"Oh, Bertie! Oh, I heard what happened! You aren't hurt too much, darling?"
"Oh no, I'm fine Angel."
It was, of course, the most beautiful Emily. She cooed a good deal after that. There's nothing better for a chappie's moral than to hear the girl of his dreams cooing all over him. I felt braced and boosted.
"Ring me back, light of my life, for your beastly uncle is rattling the door handle."
"Alright. I hope I'll see you soon."
Jeeves slid in as I replaced the receiver.
"Who was that, sir?"
"Oh, nobody."
"Yes, sir."
He streamed out, aiming for the kitchen. I was halfway to my armchair as the telephone sang out merrily. Quicker than a speeding bullet, Jeeves had whipped in, and lifted the thing to his ear. I could see a slight glint of triumph in his eye, expecting as he was, to catch the young, love-lorn master in the lurch.
Instead, he looked foiled.
"Mrs Travers, for you, sir."
"Oh, jolly good. Hand her over."
He did so, and scittered out.
"Bertie?"
"Yes, it's your nephew."
"Excellent. Can you come down at once?"
"Rather old relative."
"Even better. Bring a friend. . . No, wait, bring your lady friend."
I was rather upset. Aunt Dahlia referring to the sainted Emily like that. But still, I felt like I deserved a bit of Anatole's cooking.
"Oh, alright then. But I could be a few days."
"Why?"
"I have to convince Emily's father to let me near her. Either that or smuggle her out."
There was a disturbed silence at the other end. Then came those fatal words. . .
"Ask your man, Jeeves."
I took a deep breath, and gave her the works. When I'd finished she seemed to sigh, and then suddenly a burst of excited sound issued down the line, nearly robbing me of my hearing in my left ear.
"Well, I have an idea. Tell the poor girl you're annoying to accept an invitation for a theatrical doo-dah, from D.Travers."
"Excellent! I shall telephone her as soon as Jeeves removes his watchful eye."
"See you in a few days, nephew!"
"Pip-pip, aged A."
I set the 'phone down, and strode into the kitchen. "Jeeves, I'm taking a holiday. You can have two weeks off."
Jeeves eyed me suspiciously.
"Yes, Sir."
Chapter Twelve
I gulped. I swallowed. I took on board a few breaths of soothing air, only to have it knocked from my stomach by Emily's nearest and dearest's fist.
"I bid you good day, sir. I hope never to set eyes on you again."
He trotted off toward the door, but stopped, spinning on his axis, he yelled;
"And I hope you never set eyes on my beloved little girl again!"
The door banged, my heart thumped, and then I heard Jeeves' gentle breathing behind me. In all the bally confusion, I had quite forgotten that my manservant was Emily's uncle.
From where I stood, he sounded like a bull elephant, about to charge down some unfortunate creature in the way.
"Umm, Jeeves." I said, trying to lighten the atmosphere, don't you know.
"Yes, sir."
He looked at me like he would at something unpleasant on his shoe. I wanted to take the strong line with him, but I knew that when Jeeves decides, all is decided, so to speak.
"Look Jeeves, I love Emily, and you'll have to work jolly hard to part our two souls."
"Indeed, sir."
Then he drifted out, with a callous look over his shoulder at me. I loped off to my chambers, rubbing my aching stomach.
The next day, Jeeves had popped out somewhere, and I was alone and heart broken in the flat. Then, with all the dramatics of a good play, the phone rang.
With trembling fingers I picked it up.
"Hello? Wooster here."
"Oh, Bertie! Oh, I heard what happened! You aren't hurt too much, darling?"
"Oh no, I'm fine Angel."
It was, of course, the most beautiful Emily. She cooed a good deal after that. There's nothing better for a chappie's moral than to hear the girl of his dreams cooing all over him. I felt braced and boosted.
"Ring me back, light of my life, for your beastly uncle is rattling the door handle."
"Alright. I hope I'll see you soon."
Jeeves slid in as I replaced the receiver.
"Who was that, sir?"
"Oh, nobody."
"Yes, sir."
He streamed out, aiming for the kitchen. I was halfway to my armchair as the telephone sang out merrily. Quicker than a speeding bullet, Jeeves had whipped in, and lifted the thing to his ear. I could see a slight glint of triumph in his eye, expecting as he was, to catch the young, love-lorn master in the lurch.
Instead, he looked foiled.
"Mrs Travers, for you, sir."
"Oh, jolly good. Hand her over."
He did so, and scittered out.
"Bertie?"
"Yes, it's your nephew."
"Excellent. Can you come down at once?"
"Rather old relative."
"Even better. Bring a friend. . . No, wait, bring your lady friend."
I was rather upset. Aunt Dahlia referring to the sainted Emily like that. But still, I felt like I deserved a bit of Anatole's cooking.
"Oh, alright then. But I could be a few days."
"Why?"
"I have to convince Emily's father to let me near her. Either that or smuggle her out."
There was a disturbed silence at the other end. Then came those fatal words. . .
"Ask your man, Jeeves."
I took a deep breath, and gave her the works. When I'd finished she seemed to sigh, and then suddenly a burst of excited sound issued down the line, nearly robbing me of my hearing in my left ear.
"Well, I have an idea. Tell the poor girl you're annoying to accept an invitation for a theatrical doo-dah, from D.Travers."
"Excellent! I shall telephone her as soon as Jeeves removes his watchful eye."
"See you in a few days, nephew!"
"Pip-pip, aged A."
I set the 'phone down, and strode into the kitchen. "Jeeves, I'm taking a holiday. You can have two weeks off."
Jeeves eyed me suspiciously.
"Yes, Sir."