Ok, hi. I'm currently campaigning for a J&W category. If there is one already, someone please tell me. I sometimes miss things like that. (

Normal disclaimer.

Chapter Sixteen

Emily's father had been hanging about with the police, to come in search of his daughter. I knew he was a suspicious sort of bird, but I couldn't believe that even he'd discover us here.

And then, all was made clear. The man I had trusted for many years, the man who used to look at me with a sort of paternal glint in his eye, the man I religiously paid every week, had done the dirty on his niece and me. For there he stood, looking terribly austere and intimidating. I kid you not when I say there was no mercy in those eyes.

The blighted father gripped darling Emily by the wrist. He pulled her out from the bush, and glowered at me.

"Mr Wooster, it is only the love for my daughter that prevents me from calling back the police. I come here, and not only find you with my daughter, I find you in a bush with her!"

I could see the chappie had completely the wrong angle on things. I decided, however, to forgo that explanation, and try and convince this man that my love for Emily was such that parting us would do no earthly good.

But before I could open my mouth, Emily un-hooked herself, and latched onto me again. I held her tightly whilst giving her father and Jeeves a defiant look.

"I am sorry, Mr Cooper, but true love is devilish tricky to overcome."

I would have gone on with my speech, but at that moment a solid object was placed rather firmly on the back of my head. I felt Emily let go and scream, before everything went black for the second time in an incredibly short period.

I woke up in a bed, with a banging headache. I had hoped to see Emily leaning tenderly over me, but as I came to, I remembered that that couldn't really be possible. I don't mind saying that I felt distinctly heartbroken. It wouldn't be too much to say that my heart wrenched every time I thought of my one true love.

Slowly, the door opened, and Aunt Dahlia appeared. She wore a motherly expression.

"Oh good Lord, not you as well."

"What?"

"All this heartbreak is getting me down. What with you and Angela."

"Aunt Dahlia! I have just had the love of my life taken from under my very nose. And to cap it all, some very evilly minded person hit me over the head with something."

"Ah, yes. That was Emily's new fiancé. He doesn't like you."

I abruptly stopped breathing. My heart ceased to function. I am pretty sure my eyes bulged out, too.

"W-what? She's engaged?"

"Yes, you poor fish. She is now."

"But, I asked her to marry me!"

"I'm sure you did, but this other bloke apparently wrote to the girl's father, and he said yes, so dear Emily is off somewhere else. Bit of a blow for you."

I goggled at her.

"A bit of a blow? Aunt Dahlia, I love that girl! I would go and live on some remote island for the rest of my life for her! I'd,-I'd. . .! Oh well I'd do a lot of other courageous things for her. It is not a bit of a blow; it's an occurrence that's going to determine the rest of my life! And I'll tell you right now, that I won't be happy unless I spend the rest of my natural l. with Emily cooper!"

Aunt Dahlia stood up. She looked at me with what I still believe was 'new respect'. Then she pointed to the wardrobe.

"Get dressed, Bertram Wooster, and go and bring Emily Cooper back!"

With that, she marched out of the room, with a look of the old determination on her face.

I leapt out of bed, dressed in record time, and was down in the entrance hall before any normal person could've crawled out of bed after being beaten over the head. Aunt Dahlia was standing there, hat and coat in one hand, keys to my car in the other. It was like some bally romance novel.

"You know Aged A., that this would be a whole lot easier if Jeeves were on our side. We need someone of his intellect."

Aunt Dahlia gave me a knowing look.

"Look behind you, my pudding-brained nephew."

I did. I honestly confess that I could've strangled the man who stood there. One of the men I disliked most in the world at that point was hovering behind me.

"Oh. So you've come here to rub whatever people rub into the wound have you?"

"Salt, sir?"

"Yes. Well have you? After reading my personal post, and then dropping hints to Mr Cooper behind my back, my level of esteem for you has rather plummeted."

Something happened then that shocked me. Jeeves showed actual emotion. Both eyebrows moved, his lips twitched and his facial expression became decidedly apologetic. I heard Aunt Dahlia drop the keys onto the floor with a clatter. It takes rather a lot to shock my Aunt A. But seeing Jeeves looking sorry for himself had done the trick.

I must admit that I felt pretty amazed at the bally thing. This was Jeeves, the greatest work a taxidermist ever completed. The man who had seen and heard a great many astonishing things without even blinking.

"Jeeves?"

"I am prepared to say, sir, that I feel decidedly awkward regarding the matter of you, my niece and Mr Binsley."

"Really?" I wasn't about to let my guard down yet. This man had managed, in a very short space of time, to ruin my matrimonial plans, and the joint happiness of Emily and myself. Still, what can one expect of a man like Jeeves? It just proves that that great power put to bad uses is dangerous to all and sundry.

"Hang on a minute, Jeeves. Who is this Binsley?"

"Mr Edward Binsley is the man who took it upon himself to hit you on the head with a cudgel, sir."

"Ah. A man of volcanic tempers, then?"

"Indeed, sir."

It was then that I heard a snorting sound from behind me. Aunt Dahlia was laughing.

"Gosh, Bertie! For someone who claims to strongly dislike Jeeves, you seem to be getting on rather well!"

I couldn't believe it. The man had ingratiated himself again. Two minutes and he was already digging himself in.

"Well, why are you still here anyway?"

"You must forgive me, sir, but at first I didn't think you were suited for my niece."

"Oh? Did you not?"

It was scathing reply, I know. But it had to be done.

"Yes, sir. But, after Mr Cooper had introduced me to Mr Binsley, I realised that that particular gentleman was not at all what I had hoped. He hitting you over the head was an act that I believe a good husband for Miss Cooper should not do. However, it would appear that my brother has no such concerns."

I looked hard at the man. He looked truly sorry. I looked at Aunt Dahlia. She looked at me. We needed a man like Jeeves. I was loathe to rope him in, but if I was to be waltzing up the aisle with Miss Cooper anytime soon, he was rather a necessity.

"Alright, Jeeves. I accept your apology."

"Thank you very much, sir."