CHAPTER 10
Don't talk about it as it is something dirty, he has said. No, it's not dirty. But it's wrong. Terribly wrong. Not because of the age difference - after all, if you consider the life span of a wizard, twenty years is not so much -, but because he's too young. Almost a child. And he's my student. Moreover, I'm a double spy, and my two masters are skilful legillimens. If Dumbledore finds out, I don't know. I don't think he would denounce me to the Ministry, but he would probably sack me. If the Dark Lord finds out, my life and Harry's will be in danger. And if someone else finds out, Azkaban will be my future.
I still can't get my feet on the ground. I can't believe it all happened. It's so hard not to forget that this is something ephemeral, destined to die; something that only happened because we were here alone and, well, he's 17. And that soon he will be sent elsewhere, and life will go back to... normal. If what we had could really be called normal. If it could be called life!
We are in Hagrid's garden, and I tell Harry Potter which are the plants that I need and how to harvest them. He looks at me attentively. Who would imagine that one day Harry Potter would pay attention to what I say! How ironic!
"Put the gloves on, Potter."
"Do you have to call me that?"
"How do you want to be called?"
He looks at me angrily. I don't blame him. I hold my laugh and narrow my eyes at him, making my most frightening face. Disheartened, he lowers his eyes. My arms, my treacherous arms, almost reach for him, and I almost choke with this word I dare not to pronounce: 'Harry.' I cannot afford to get used to this, I cannot call him by his first name. It's too dangerous. I switch back into my didactic mode.
"Put the gloves on or stay far away from the belladonna and the Alihotsy. You *know* which of these plants is belladona and which is Alihotsy, don't you?"
He sighs. Even if the subject is Herbology, I feel like I'm in a Potions class once more. I could go on, humiliate him further, but I think I'm... softening. Ha. He puts the glove on and I show him how to pick the best belladonna leaves, and how to harvest them.
"Professor..."
I shudder just to hear this address form. He's right; if I call him 'Potter' and treat him like a student, he must call me 'professor'. Nonetheless, it's difficult to conciliate this address form with the intimacy we have experienced. It makes me feel a filthy, perverted man.
"Don't call me that," I snap.
"But..."
"I know. Very well. I will call you by your first name. Only while you are here, under my care. And never in front of other people."
He smiles. Harry Potter has won another battle. I'm feeling utterly defeated.
"Severus...," he says, as if experimenting with the pronunciation. "When... When will I be able to use my magic again?"
I have to admit that he's behaving very well about this issue. Since I have forbidden him, he hasn't tried to cast any spell.
"I would say that you are ready to begin to practice again. I will give your wand back to you, on the condition that you begin with spells that you learned in your first year, and that only after mastering them you progress to higher levels."
I take his wand out of the right side of my robes (I keep my wand always in my left side) and give it to him. He takes it in his hands, fascinated. It must be quite a thrill to meet your own wand again after more than one week.
"First year spells?" he asks.
"In Charms, you may begin with 'Wingardium Leviosa'. I'll give you the library keys, so you can go there and take out all the books you might need. Just don't go into the Restricted Section!"
He rolls his eyes.
"And what should I do in Transfiguration?"
"Begin with small things. Transfigure buttons into crickets, nothing very big." I glare at him. "Well, I don't expect you will want to practice Potions. You never saw any *value* in Potions. After all, in the middle of a duel you cannot chop salamanders and stir a cauldron, can you?"
He raises his eyebrows at me. He knows that I'm being sarcastic, but he doesn't know what to say, since my words are absolutely true. For him, Potions is just a useless nuisance.
"If you have trouble with a spell, don't try it again immediately. Don't drain yourself out, it will be worse. You can try again the next day," I counsel him.
TBC...
Author's Notes and Replies to Reviews:
I've reposted the third chapter because I had forgot to tell you that Sev has
Harry's wand, and that in his sixth year Harry perfected his wandless magic.
I've changed only the first lines of the chapter.
koontz987, ItsSadYouSuck, Tomherns, Faerie Fighter, sev1970, KittenBabyGirl, DaughterofDeath, Trunks-01, Lady Lorene, Heather Snape, Nymphadora Tonks1, damsel13, lillinfields and Anarane Anwamane: Thank you, I hope you like part 2 too!