I moaned irritably and someone shook my shoulder. I rolled over, trying to
block it out.
"Enid, wake up, you lazy ass," someone said.
I opened an eye and saw George sitting on the edge of my bed smiling, still shaking me. "I'm up." He was still shaking me, till I sat up. "I'm up!"
He smiled, "Finally."
I laid back down and stared at him. He was watching me and smiling. "Where did you sleep?"
"The couch," he said.
I nodded. I was getting the same frustration of last night. I grabbed a blanket off of my bed and walked into the living room of my apartment sat down on the couch. I usually did this every morning and just stared out the window. I was freezing, even with the blanket. George came out of my bedroom, fully dressed, and sat down.
"You look cold," he said.
I nodded. He came over and wrapped his arms around me. I could feel warmth and I breathed in his scent, I loved it. I felt like a child again, when you got your first kiss. Completely unaware of what to do, yet you know you want it so bad.
I was on the Quidditch field of my school when I first got mine. It was probably a bit different from a lot of girls' first kisses. I just flew down off of my broom and my captain came down to meet me. He was shorter than me by three inches, I always remembered that. For some reason I always told myself not to date someone shorter than me. He told me I was a good flyer and then best on the team then leaned over and kissed me. He tasted really bad, I could always remember that. It felt good but I wanted him to taste better.
"Eric!" I heard someone yell. I looked over and saw a blonde girl, even shorter than me running onto the field, nearly in flames she was so pissed.
It hit me then that she was his girlfriend and he probably shouldn't have done what he did. She started yelling at me, but I yelled right back then yelled at Eric a bit too. She then convinced herself that it was my fault and I was a slut and tried to hit me. A bad move on her part. Never hit a girl with a broomstick who is nearly a foot taller than you, you'll get your ass kicked and she did.
I looked at George expecting something but all he did was look out the window with his arm around me. I realized that this was just a game, he wasn't really going to kiss me, and it wasn't what he had planned. I told him I was cold and he, being the good friend he was helped me warm up.
I angrily got up and stormed into my bedroom and threw on some clothes. I heard him get up and knock on my door.
"Enid?"
"What?" I snapped.
"What are you doing?"
"Putting clothes on, trying to stay warm. I won't be an inconvenience for you, I'll keep myself warm," I yelled.
I had lost all of my self control just then. He had no idea, obviously what I was pissed about, but I wanted him to know I was pissed and at him. I was tired of games and I was tired of this hide and seek bullshit. I threw open my door and walked into the kitchen and lit up a cigarette. Something he had never seen me do.
"You smoke?"
"Yes, among other bad habits I started. I'm just a bad kid in general, George, you have no idea," I said. It was true, I had done more stuff than he could imagine.
"Just because you smoke doesn't mean you're a bad kid," he said.
"Oh it doesn't? How about smoking pot, drinking nearly every night to the point where I nearly get alcohol poisoning. Or how about having sex with so many guys I can't even remember any more. I'm sure I'm probably diseased as hell, so you might want to stay away from someone like me. I try and cut away my past and the way I feel. I've tried to kill myself so many times just because I hated who I am and what I've done. And right now I'm extremely tempted because I'm tired of games," I yelled. I was crying now and losing all self control.
I was expecting the look of pity and disgust, I've gotten it so many times I almost hoped for it. But he nodded. "I figured that was what those cuts on your arms were."
I looked at him in disbelief. I wanted to explode just then, disappear in oblivion. I hated myself more than ever just then, for even thinking that he would hold that against me. Look at his family, they're so accepting of everything, why would he care about my past? After all, it was my past not my present.
"And I don't think you're dirty because you've slept with a lot of guys. I've smoked pot before and I used to drink a lot too. I haven't tried to kill myself, but I've almost disappeared from my family because I was so frustrated with them."
I could see sadness in his eyes. I wanted to cry again, just hold him or something. I wanted to tell him I loved him because I was sure I did now.
"And these games I've playing, I didn't mean to. I'm not very good with things like this and I'm sorry," he said.
I smiled with tears in my eyes, "The games were fine, I was just frustrated and I didn't understand. I felt like melting when you were holding me. I wanted to stay like that forever."
He smiled and came over to me and hugged me. I almost lost myself just then. If I had died I would have been happier then I've ever been in my life. Even with Scott, it was different than this. Sex was what held us together. I wouldn't feel like melting when he hugged me. He lifted my head up and wiped away at my tears and then kissed me.
It was more than a kiss though. It felt like everything and nothing at all. And he tasted wonderful. I don't know what it tasted like, it was his own taste, but he was wonderful. It lasted forever, but not long enough.
We pulled away and he smiled, running his fingers through my hair. " I think I'm in love with you," I said. I sounded like it was a bad thing and part of me thought it was.
"I know I love you. But why are you so worried?" he said.
"I'm tired of being hurt," I said. "I'm afraid it'll happen again and I don't know if I can take it if it does."
"I can't promise you anything except I won't cheat on you like what's-his- name did, and I can try not to hurt you, but if I do, I'll do whatever I can to make it up," he wrapped his arms around me again.
It felt like a dream that I was about to wake up from. But when I woke up the next morning, he was lying next to me, his arm around my stomach. I closed my eyes again and let myself go back to sleep. The dream wouldn't end.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Another Author's Note from the Crazy Girl:
*_* That was short and cheesy, I'm sorry. I'm not very good at writing love crap, being as I'm new to it myself. I'll try not to be so damn lovey dovey next time, because I promise something will happen. Hmm, that sounds as if it's a good thing, but it's not really. interesting. I need to go back to bed X_x +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Enid, wake up, you lazy ass," someone said.
I opened an eye and saw George sitting on the edge of my bed smiling, still shaking me. "I'm up." He was still shaking me, till I sat up. "I'm up!"
He smiled, "Finally."
I laid back down and stared at him. He was watching me and smiling. "Where did you sleep?"
"The couch," he said.
I nodded. I was getting the same frustration of last night. I grabbed a blanket off of my bed and walked into the living room of my apartment sat down on the couch. I usually did this every morning and just stared out the window. I was freezing, even with the blanket. George came out of my bedroom, fully dressed, and sat down.
"You look cold," he said.
I nodded. He came over and wrapped his arms around me. I could feel warmth and I breathed in his scent, I loved it. I felt like a child again, when you got your first kiss. Completely unaware of what to do, yet you know you want it so bad.
I was on the Quidditch field of my school when I first got mine. It was probably a bit different from a lot of girls' first kisses. I just flew down off of my broom and my captain came down to meet me. He was shorter than me by three inches, I always remembered that. For some reason I always told myself not to date someone shorter than me. He told me I was a good flyer and then best on the team then leaned over and kissed me. He tasted really bad, I could always remember that. It felt good but I wanted him to taste better.
"Eric!" I heard someone yell. I looked over and saw a blonde girl, even shorter than me running onto the field, nearly in flames she was so pissed.
It hit me then that she was his girlfriend and he probably shouldn't have done what he did. She started yelling at me, but I yelled right back then yelled at Eric a bit too. She then convinced herself that it was my fault and I was a slut and tried to hit me. A bad move on her part. Never hit a girl with a broomstick who is nearly a foot taller than you, you'll get your ass kicked and she did.
I looked at George expecting something but all he did was look out the window with his arm around me. I realized that this was just a game, he wasn't really going to kiss me, and it wasn't what he had planned. I told him I was cold and he, being the good friend he was helped me warm up.
I angrily got up and stormed into my bedroom and threw on some clothes. I heard him get up and knock on my door.
"Enid?"
"What?" I snapped.
"What are you doing?"
"Putting clothes on, trying to stay warm. I won't be an inconvenience for you, I'll keep myself warm," I yelled.
I had lost all of my self control just then. He had no idea, obviously what I was pissed about, but I wanted him to know I was pissed and at him. I was tired of games and I was tired of this hide and seek bullshit. I threw open my door and walked into the kitchen and lit up a cigarette. Something he had never seen me do.
"You smoke?"
"Yes, among other bad habits I started. I'm just a bad kid in general, George, you have no idea," I said. It was true, I had done more stuff than he could imagine.
"Just because you smoke doesn't mean you're a bad kid," he said.
"Oh it doesn't? How about smoking pot, drinking nearly every night to the point where I nearly get alcohol poisoning. Or how about having sex with so many guys I can't even remember any more. I'm sure I'm probably diseased as hell, so you might want to stay away from someone like me. I try and cut away my past and the way I feel. I've tried to kill myself so many times just because I hated who I am and what I've done. And right now I'm extremely tempted because I'm tired of games," I yelled. I was crying now and losing all self control.
I was expecting the look of pity and disgust, I've gotten it so many times I almost hoped for it. But he nodded. "I figured that was what those cuts on your arms were."
I looked at him in disbelief. I wanted to explode just then, disappear in oblivion. I hated myself more than ever just then, for even thinking that he would hold that against me. Look at his family, they're so accepting of everything, why would he care about my past? After all, it was my past not my present.
"And I don't think you're dirty because you've slept with a lot of guys. I've smoked pot before and I used to drink a lot too. I haven't tried to kill myself, but I've almost disappeared from my family because I was so frustrated with them."
I could see sadness in his eyes. I wanted to cry again, just hold him or something. I wanted to tell him I loved him because I was sure I did now.
"And these games I've playing, I didn't mean to. I'm not very good with things like this and I'm sorry," he said.
I smiled with tears in my eyes, "The games were fine, I was just frustrated and I didn't understand. I felt like melting when you were holding me. I wanted to stay like that forever."
He smiled and came over to me and hugged me. I almost lost myself just then. If I had died I would have been happier then I've ever been in my life. Even with Scott, it was different than this. Sex was what held us together. I wouldn't feel like melting when he hugged me. He lifted my head up and wiped away at my tears and then kissed me.
It was more than a kiss though. It felt like everything and nothing at all. And he tasted wonderful. I don't know what it tasted like, it was his own taste, but he was wonderful. It lasted forever, but not long enough.
We pulled away and he smiled, running his fingers through my hair. " I think I'm in love with you," I said. I sounded like it was a bad thing and part of me thought it was.
"I know I love you. But why are you so worried?" he said.
"I'm tired of being hurt," I said. "I'm afraid it'll happen again and I don't know if I can take it if it does."
"I can't promise you anything except I won't cheat on you like what's-his- name did, and I can try not to hurt you, but if I do, I'll do whatever I can to make it up," he wrapped his arms around me again.
It felt like a dream that I was about to wake up from. But when I woke up the next morning, he was lying next to me, his arm around my stomach. I closed my eyes again and let myself go back to sleep. The dream wouldn't end.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Another Author's Note from the Crazy Girl:
*_* That was short and cheesy, I'm sorry. I'm not very good at writing love crap, being as I'm new to it myself. I'll try not to be so damn lovey dovey next time, because I promise something will happen. Hmm, that sounds as if it's a good thing, but it's not really. interesting. I need to go back to bed X_x +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++