Greetings again! I have been reading all of your reviews, and thou art
good
to me.
Considering that this was my first fanfic, I didst rather well. I'm
e-mailing this to
someone so they can puth it up, so don't flameth me if it is a little
weird.
Witness the
new chapter I hath writ.
I doth not own The Legend of Zelda, nor do I own Behind the Music. And
why do
I not? I
hate that! Curseth you, Buzz Lightyear!
commercial
Sargent: Be careful with that bazooka, Private.
Private: Yes, Sir! I'll be...
Bazooka: BOOM!
Private: Oops...Sorry.
The bazooka shell goes out into the parking lot. It explodes,
destroying a
car.
Guy In Red Van: Uh oh...Better get Maaco!
end commercial
Welcome back to... behind the Video Game. (theme music plays again,
words
flash on
screen: Courage, Power, Wisdom, Weapons, Chickens, Annoying Fairies.)
Link had been discovered, but where would Nintendo find the other
cast
members? The
answer came, but not where they thought it would come from.
Zelda: I am not really a princess, OK? I am just an ordinary girl from
California. (runs
hands through hair, we see bracelets, rings, and gold-plated
fingernails.)
Link: I went to a party, and during the main event of it I saw her.
Zelda: I keep telling you, popping out of the cake was just something I
was
doing between
jobs.
Shigeru Miyamoto, director of the Legend of Zelda: From the second
Link
brought her in,
I could tell she had a great body for video games. The profession was
calling out to her.
There was no way this was going to pass me by.
Zelda: Shigeru kept coming on to me. He was practically stalking me.
Link: Now, let me set the record straight. There was NEVER anything
between
Zelda and
me. Our relationship was completely professional.
Zelda: Link was coming on to me, too.
With the princess hired
Zelda: I am not a princess!
and taping about to start, things were looking dire.
Link: We needed to find a bad guy, fast!
Marth, apartment mate of Link: Link once remarked to me that his
company was
looking
for a villain for their next production. I jokingly said something
like, how
about our
landlord? We were laughing our heads off, when suddenly he burst
through the
door.
Ganondork: I am GANONDORF! Anyway, I was substituting for my brother,
who was
getting an ulcer removed. I asked them about paying the rent, and they
just
were staring
at me, maybe at my large nose, maybe at my family jewel on my forehead.
I
screamed,
LISTEN YOU MAGGOTS, I WANT THE RENT!
Link: I knew this was the person we could use. I told him that my boss
had
not given me
my pay yet so he went to tell Shigeru what for.
Miyamoto: I hired him on the spot. It could have been the skin color,
the
fingernails, the
bad oral hygiene... He almost made me deaf in one ear. He was going to
be a
big bad guy.
Taping was ready to begin, but games are never made without lots of
mistakes.
Poor
acting and other errors threatened to make the deadline inaccessible.
Link: I had never acted before, and I kept staring at the camera.
Eventually,
we had to
move the camera onto a sky hook, resulting in the isometric view that
became
our
trademark.
Poor scripts also presented a roadblock, as this rare clip shows.
clip
Random Old Man: Thou must taketh this pointy sword and smiteth the big
evil
dude.
Link: Aw, man! I just wanna have fun, not kill anyone.
ROM: Well tough!
clip ends
Miyamoto: I do not know why we hired that writer. I think he went on
to
write scripts for
Resident Evil.
Game Clip of Resident Evil shows
Barry: Here is a lock pick. It might be useful if you, the master of
unlocking, take it with
you.
End of Resident Evil Clip
Zelda: We could not have fired him fast enough.
Link: After we finished the taping, we were all exhausted. But we were
not
exhausted
enough to not argue about what the title should be.
Ganondork: They practically came to blows about The Legend of Zelda Vs.
The
Legend of
Link. Oh, and did I mention my name is GANONDORF?!
Zelda: Finally, we settled on The Legend of Zelda for the first game,
and The
Legend of
Link for the second. We told Mr. Miyamoto about this, and he agreed.
The Legend of Zelda was released in July of 1987, and it took the world
by
surprise.
Jason Fox, video game expert: The Legend of Zelda is a classic in every
sense
of the
word. The two quests, the ultimate adversaries, all those secrets...
excuse
me, I need to
get out my NES.
Yami Keto, Yami Yugi on Yu-Gi-Oh: I had been wondering what Link had
been d
oing in
life,and I got my answer. When I saw Link on a game I called him up,
congratulated him,
but I wondered why they said his name was Zelda. I was embarrassed when
he
said it was
the princess who had the name Zelda.
Zelda: I am NOT a princess!!
Link: That whole calling me Zelda thing got annoying. By the way,
Hyrule came
from
reversing the letters in my hometown, Eluryh.
Ganondorf: IT IS GANON... sigh I swear that every kid in America was
beating up on me.
I dreaded more games of that. Then I realized how I was getting paid,
with
big royalties,
to get beat up.
With the first Zelda game a smash, what would the future hold for the
Elf,
Girl, and
Gerudo? Next:
Ganondork: I aplogize for the...unpleasantness, but I really thought
she was
another
Gerudo. What I did was common behavior.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter two done. About time, too! Readth and Reviewth please!
Ganondorf: I just realized you called me Ganondork again. HAAA (begins
Warlock punch)
0.o Gulp. See you in a week... assuming I get back in time!
Ganondorf: AAAHH (sends me flying)
Sir Exal is blasting off again! (star finish) ding
good
to me.
Considering that this was my first fanfic, I didst rather well. I'm
e-mailing this to
someone so they can puth it up, so don't flameth me if it is a little
weird.
Witness the
new chapter I hath writ.
I doth not own The Legend of Zelda, nor do I own Behind the Music. And
why do
I not? I
hate that! Curseth you, Buzz Lightyear!
commercial
Sargent: Be careful with that bazooka, Private.
Private: Yes, Sir! I'll be...
Bazooka: BOOM!
Private: Oops...Sorry.
The bazooka shell goes out into the parking lot. It explodes,
destroying a
car.
Guy In Red Van: Uh oh...Better get Maaco!
end commercial
Welcome back to... behind the Video Game. (theme music plays again,
words
flash on
screen: Courage, Power, Wisdom, Weapons, Chickens, Annoying Fairies.)
Link had been discovered, but where would Nintendo find the other
cast
members? The
answer came, but not where they thought it would come from.
Zelda: I am not really a princess, OK? I am just an ordinary girl from
California. (runs
hands through hair, we see bracelets, rings, and gold-plated
fingernails.)
Link: I went to a party, and during the main event of it I saw her.
Zelda: I keep telling you, popping out of the cake was just something I
was
doing between
jobs.
Shigeru Miyamoto, director of the Legend of Zelda: From the second
Link
brought her in,
I could tell she had a great body for video games. The profession was
calling out to her.
There was no way this was going to pass me by.
Zelda: Shigeru kept coming on to me. He was practically stalking me.
Link: Now, let me set the record straight. There was NEVER anything
between
Zelda and
me. Our relationship was completely professional.
Zelda: Link was coming on to me, too.
With the princess hired
Zelda: I am not a princess!
and taping about to start, things were looking dire.
Link: We needed to find a bad guy, fast!
Marth, apartment mate of Link: Link once remarked to me that his
company was
looking
for a villain for their next production. I jokingly said something
like, how
about our
landlord? We were laughing our heads off, when suddenly he burst
through the
door.
Ganondork: I am GANONDORF! Anyway, I was substituting for my brother,
who was
getting an ulcer removed. I asked them about paying the rent, and they
just
were staring
at me, maybe at my large nose, maybe at my family jewel on my forehead.
I
screamed,
LISTEN YOU MAGGOTS, I WANT THE RENT!
Link: I knew this was the person we could use. I told him that my boss
had
not given me
my pay yet so he went to tell Shigeru what for.
Miyamoto: I hired him on the spot. It could have been the skin color,
the
fingernails, the
bad oral hygiene... He almost made me deaf in one ear. He was going to
be a
big bad guy.
Taping was ready to begin, but games are never made without lots of
mistakes.
Poor
acting and other errors threatened to make the deadline inaccessible.
Link: I had never acted before, and I kept staring at the camera.
Eventually,
we had to
move the camera onto a sky hook, resulting in the isometric view that
became
our
trademark.
Poor scripts also presented a roadblock, as this rare clip shows.
clip
Random Old Man: Thou must taketh this pointy sword and smiteth the big
evil
dude.
Link: Aw, man! I just wanna have fun, not kill anyone.
ROM: Well tough!
clip ends
Miyamoto: I do not know why we hired that writer. I think he went on
to
write scripts for
Resident Evil.
Game Clip of Resident Evil shows
Barry: Here is a lock pick. It might be useful if you, the master of
unlocking, take it with
you.
End of Resident Evil Clip
Zelda: We could not have fired him fast enough.
Link: After we finished the taping, we were all exhausted. But we were
not
exhausted
enough to not argue about what the title should be.
Ganondork: They practically came to blows about The Legend of Zelda Vs.
The
Legend of
Link. Oh, and did I mention my name is GANONDORF?!
Zelda: Finally, we settled on The Legend of Zelda for the first game,
and The
Legend of
Link for the second. We told Mr. Miyamoto about this, and he agreed.
The Legend of Zelda was released in July of 1987, and it took the world
by
surprise.
Jason Fox, video game expert: The Legend of Zelda is a classic in every
sense
of the
word. The two quests, the ultimate adversaries, all those secrets...
excuse
me, I need to
get out my NES.
Yami Keto, Yami Yugi on Yu-Gi-Oh: I had been wondering what Link had
been d
oing in
life,and I got my answer. When I saw Link on a game I called him up,
congratulated him,
but I wondered why they said his name was Zelda. I was embarrassed when
he
said it was
the princess who had the name Zelda.
Zelda: I am NOT a princess!!
Link: That whole calling me Zelda thing got annoying. By the way,
Hyrule came
from
reversing the letters in my hometown, Eluryh.
Ganondorf: IT IS GANON... sigh I swear that every kid in America was
beating up on me.
I dreaded more games of that. Then I realized how I was getting paid,
with
big royalties,
to get beat up.
With the first Zelda game a smash, what would the future hold for the
Elf,
Girl, and
Gerudo? Next:
Ganondork: I aplogize for the...unpleasantness, but I really thought
she was
another
Gerudo. What I did was common behavior.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter two done. About time, too! Readth and Reviewth please!
Ganondorf: I just realized you called me Ganondork again. HAAA (begins
Warlock punch)
0.o Gulp. See you in a week... assuming I get back in time!
Ganondorf: AAAHH (sends me flying)
Sir Exal is blasting off again! (star finish) ding