Title: All Alone
Author: Opal
Disclaimers: I do not own GW, I never will. Please don't sue
All Alone "Where are you going?" The question itself was asked in almost a whisper, but the feeling behind it almost knocked Duo off his feet.
"I dunno yet. Maybe disappear, find a quiet town, and become a normal person again. Or at least try to become one." His words were almost empty, but in them lingered a bit of sadness. His time had come, the war was over, and he needed to pursue a new lifestyle. No one needed an ex-pilot of war anymore. This was peacetime, a time for rebuilding, and renewing, and that was what Duo intended to do. Throwing the last shirt into his fading black duffel bag, Duo looked up into intense green eyes. "Well Trowa, it's been great staying here. But.but I can't invade your home any longer, you need to move on as well. Maybe we'll meet again one day, but for now, this American is off to find his dreams. Or perhaps his destiny, I always wanted to prove to people that destiny was created as a false hope so that we never have to choose things for ourselves. I almost wish destiny was real so that I would not have to worry about where my own life is going." Slipping his arm into one strap, Duo lifted the bag up off the bed and headed in the direction of Trowa. "You take care of yourself, if I happen to find a permanent address I'll write to ya." He put his hand out and the two-shook hands before Duo pulled Trowa into a hug. Pulling free Duo stepped out of the house and into the sunrise.
Waiting alone, Duo watched the sun climb higher into the sky, his train would be pulling in any second, and he would leave the town of Rockwell behind. Where he was going was nowhere in particular. He brought three maps, blindly picked one map and than one town. He had thought of going to work with Howard, but he did not want to rely on people knew anymore, he was off to find his own life.
The train screamed, than hissed into the station, steam rose and Duo climbed aboard. Settling into his seat he was left alone on the car with nothing more than his thoughts. And his thoughts were quite loud. Part of him wanted to find a new life, part of him wanted to put Deathscythe back together and fly off into the night and return to space, and another wanted to find Heero. The one person he knew he could never find. Sighing, Duo waited for someone to come and rip up his ticket so he could fall asleep on the train. It would take 24hrs to reach his destination and that was too damn long for him. A few seconds passed and a woman in a uniform came and got his ticket. He watched her silently as she took the ticket, tearing off the larger half she handed him the butt end. Taking out a marker she wrote CRI on it standing for Corian. Smiling she handed him a pillow and left him to his thoughts.
Pushing the pillow behind his head, Duo stared out the grimy window. He could not tell if he was making the right choice, he did not know anything. Heavy lids slid over his eyes, and Duo slipped into the dark recesses of sleep. His dreams were tormented with the faces of the friends he had, and the ones he made while piloting, the only ones he ever had. His dreams were also filled with times he spent on couches in random safe- house, of the times he cried when no one was around, and the times he had feared he lost one of his new friends during battle. Even though he left to find his life, he knew that his life was circled around his friends. But now he was truly alone. No one was coming after him, no one sought him out, and now no one asked for his help. He was alone while he looked at his mirrored image in his dream. How sad he looked, how small he seemed. Duo could see that he was fading, as the light grew stronger. Something poked him, something cold, and steel. His eyes flew open as they stared into the startled eyes of one of the train's workers.
"Sorry sir, I didn't mean to startle you, but we have arrived at your stop." Large yellow eyes stared into his in an apologizing manner.
"Oh, thanks." Getting up, he removed his bag from the overhead loft, and made his way down the isle. Stepping off the train and onto the platform, Duo headed towards the exit of the station. It was warm in the town of Corian, and the sun warmed his body under his black clothing. He suddenly felt like he belonged there, that this is where he was supposed to be. Maybe destiny did in fact exist, if it did Duo hoped that it was leading him in the right direction. For a long time he had wanted to get out on his own, but the fear of being alone ate at him. Something about not having to talk to anyone, or not having someone there to make some sort of a response scared him. He may have been Shinigami when needed, but he could still be lonely, and still be scared like everyone else.
Looking out into the fresh new day, Duo put on his sunglasses. The loneliness was what was eating at him. He had not talked to anyone in so long, there were no intellectual conversations on the dying of the wars, or the wake of peace. There was no discussion on how things were going to be rebuilt, and what was going to be needed to fix the homes and towns that had been part of the battlefield for his gundam and the other four. And there was no talk of missions, gundams, injuries, deaths, nothing. It was almost surreal what he had become. A solemn person like Heero had been, something he did not want to be. But unlike Heero, Duo was still willing to express who he was. Putting on his black baseball hat, Duo pulled his braid through the hole in the back. Hoisting his duffel onto his left shoulder Duo walked away from the train and to the new life he would now be living in, and maybe one he did not want to be in. He missed Quatre and his simple smiles and honest intentions; he missed Trowa and how he could say so little, but still speak few words that held deeper meanings; he missed Wufei and his goals for justice and how he seemed never to get lost in his emotions; and he missed Heero, who allows let his emotions do the thinking but never seemed to let them take hold of his outer being. Who stood above all the others as their unspoken, but known leader. There were so many people who he had relied on at one point or another. Hilde, Noin, Sally, the faces of the females he had known. There was even Relena, a girl, a young teenager like himself forced to grow up way too fast. He did not care what people had said, he was a people person and liked almost anyone that he came into contact with him. But those people were no longer with him, he left them all behind to start this new life that he was not sure he really wanted to start. His phone rang; a bit startled he pulled the small phone out of his pants pocket. "Hello?" "Duo, are you stupid?" A voice asked in a low voice. "You could've came to my place and stayed with me." Quatre voice echoed into his ear. "I know Q-boy, but I thought.I thought I would try living on my own for a bit." Duo sighed, a voice he loved hearing. It was always cheery, always willing to forgive even if it was not needed.
There was a bit of silence from his friend, waves of static came and went, and at times it sounded like he would lose his connection with Quatre.
"So how is it so far?" The voice asked
"Lonely. I thought I could do this, but maybe I can't. I never realized how much a part of my life you four had become. But now that I am alone, I realize just how much you all mean to me." Duo said with a dry laugh. "And now I do know what I want to do. I do know one thing.. my thoughts are way to dark when I am by myself."
"Duo, do you want to come back?" A question Duo's heart jumped at hearing, he did want to go back.
Lowering his head, Duo smiled, and shook his head sadly. "Yes, but not just yet. I need time first, I need to see what it means to be normal."
A soft laughter broke out on the other end. "Okay Duo, I understand. But remember, there is no such thing as normal anymore. Call me when you're settled down. Where are you anyway?"
"Some place called Corian."
"Sounds interesting."
"I hope so Q-boy, I hope so."
"So Duo, I'll see you soon, I hope." Quatre asked in a hopeful voice.
"Maybe, either way, I'll keep in touch. Talk to you later Quatre, be good."
"I will, take care of yourself Duo, I miss you." The connection ended, leaving Duo alone.
Walking up the street, the wind blew, birds sang, and Duo smiled. In a twisted sort of way he had helped to create this future, and now he was going to live it.
OWARI
All Alone "Where are you going?" The question itself was asked in almost a whisper, but the feeling behind it almost knocked Duo off his feet.
"I dunno yet. Maybe disappear, find a quiet town, and become a normal person again. Or at least try to become one." His words were almost empty, but in them lingered a bit of sadness. His time had come, the war was over, and he needed to pursue a new lifestyle. No one needed an ex-pilot of war anymore. This was peacetime, a time for rebuilding, and renewing, and that was what Duo intended to do. Throwing the last shirt into his fading black duffel bag, Duo looked up into intense green eyes. "Well Trowa, it's been great staying here. But.but I can't invade your home any longer, you need to move on as well. Maybe we'll meet again one day, but for now, this American is off to find his dreams. Or perhaps his destiny, I always wanted to prove to people that destiny was created as a false hope so that we never have to choose things for ourselves. I almost wish destiny was real so that I would not have to worry about where my own life is going." Slipping his arm into one strap, Duo lifted the bag up off the bed and headed in the direction of Trowa. "You take care of yourself, if I happen to find a permanent address I'll write to ya." He put his hand out and the two-shook hands before Duo pulled Trowa into a hug. Pulling free Duo stepped out of the house and into the sunrise.
Waiting alone, Duo watched the sun climb higher into the sky, his train would be pulling in any second, and he would leave the town of Rockwell behind. Where he was going was nowhere in particular. He brought three maps, blindly picked one map and than one town. He had thought of going to work with Howard, but he did not want to rely on people knew anymore, he was off to find his own life.
The train screamed, than hissed into the station, steam rose and Duo climbed aboard. Settling into his seat he was left alone on the car with nothing more than his thoughts. And his thoughts were quite loud. Part of him wanted to find a new life, part of him wanted to put Deathscythe back together and fly off into the night and return to space, and another wanted to find Heero. The one person he knew he could never find. Sighing, Duo waited for someone to come and rip up his ticket so he could fall asleep on the train. It would take 24hrs to reach his destination and that was too damn long for him. A few seconds passed and a woman in a uniform came and got his ticket. He watched her silently as she took the ticket, tearing off the larger half she handed him the butt end. Taking out a marker she wrote CRI on it standing for Corian. Smiling she handed him a pillow and left him to his thoughts.
Pushing the pillow behind his head, Duo stared out the grimy window. He could not tell if he was making the right choice, he did not know anything. Heavy lids slid over his eyes, and Duo slipped into the dark recesses of sleep. His dreams were tormented with the faces of the friends he had, and the ones he made while piloting, the only ones he ever had. His dreams were also filled with times he spent on couches in random safe- house, of the times he cried when no one was around, and the times he had feared he lost one of his new friends during battle. Even though he left to find his life, he knew that his life was circled around his friends. But now he was truly alone. No one was coming after him, no one sought him out, and now no one asked for his help. He was alone while he looked at his mirrored image in his dream. How sad he looked, how small he seemed. Duo could see that he was fading, as the light grew stronger. Something poked him, something cold, and steel. His eyes flew open as they stared into the startled eyes of one of the train's workers.
"Sorry sir, I didn't mean to startle you, but we have arrived at your stop." Large yellow eyes stared into his in an apologizing manner.
"Oh, thanks." Getting up, he removed his bag from the overhead loft, and made his way down the isle. Stepping off the train and onto the platform, Duo headed towards the exit of the station. It was warm in the town of Corian, and the sun warmed his body under his black clothing. He suddenly felt like he belonged there, that this is where he was supposed to be. Maybe destiny did in fact exist, if it did Duo hoped that it was leading him in the right direction. For a long time he had wanted to get out on his own, but the fear of being alone ate at him. Something about not having to talk to anyone, or not having someone there to make some sort of a response scared him. He may have been Shinigami when needed, but he could still be lonely, and still be scared like everyone else.
Looking out into the fresh new day, Duo put on his sunglasses. The loneliness was what was eating at him. He had not talked to anyone in so long, there were no intellectual conversations on the dying of the wars, or the wake of peace. There was no discussion on how things were going to be rebuilt, and what was going to be needed to fix the homes and towns that had been part of the battlefield for his gundam and the other four. And there was no talk of missions, gundams, injuries, deaths, nothing. It was almost surreal what he had become. A solemn person like Heero had been, something he did not want to be. But unlike Heero, Duo was still willing to express who he was. Putting on his black baseball hat, Duo pulled his braid through the hole in the back. Hoisting his duffel onto his left shoulder Duo walked away from the train and to the new life he would now be living in, and maybe one he did not want to be in. He missed Quatre and his simple smiles and honest intentions; he missed Trowa and how he could say so little, but still speak few words that held deeper meanings; he missed Wufei and his goals for justice and how he seemed never to get lost in his emotions; and he missed Heero, who allows let his emotions do the thinking but never seemed to let them take hold of his outer being. Who stood above all the others as their unspoken, but known leader. There were so many people who he had relied on at one point or another. Hilde, Noin, Sally, the faces of the females he had known. There was even Relena, a girl, a young teenager like himself forced to grow up way too fast. He did not care what people had said, he was a people person and liked almost anyone that he came into contact with him. But those people were no longer with him, he left them all behind to start this new life that he was not sure he really wanted to start. His phone rang; a bit startled he pulled the small phone out of his pants pocket. "Hello?" "Duo, are you stupid?" A voice asked in a low voice. "You could've came to my place and stayed with me." Quatre voice echoed into his ear. "I know Q-boy, but I thought.I thought I would try living on my own for a bit." Duo sighed, a voice he loved hearing. It was always cheery, always willing to forgive even if it was not needed.
There was a bit of silence from his friend, waves of static came and went, and at times it sounded like he would lose his connection with Quatre.
"So how is it so far?" The voice asked
"Lonely. I thought I could do this, but maybe I can't. I never realized how much a part of my life you four had become. But now that I am alone, I realize just how much you all mean to me." Duo said with a dry laugh. "And now I do know what I want to do. I do know one thing.. my thoughts are way to dark when I am by myself."
"Duo, do you want to come back?" A question Duo's heart jumped at hearing, he did want to go back.
Lowering his head, Duo smiled, and shook his head sadly. "Yes, but not just yet. I need time first, I need to see what it means to be normal."
A soft laughter broke out on the other end. "Okay Duo, I understand. But remember, there is no such thing as normal anymore. Call me when you're settled down. Where are you anyway?"
"Some place called Corian."
"Sounds interesting."
"I hope so Q-boy, I hope so."
"So Duo, I'll see you soon, I hope." Quatre asked in a hopeful voice.
"Maybe, either way, I'll keep in touch. Talk to you later Quatre, be good."
"I will, take care of yourself Duo, I miss you." The connection ended, leaving Duo alone.
Walking up the street, the wind blew, birds sang, and Duo smiled. In a twisted sort of way he had helped to create this future, and now he was going to live it.
OWARI