Trowa's Three Ring Circus

AN- ^.^ You'll have to know Yu Yu Hakusho, Gundam Wing, DragonLance Saga, Inu Yasha, Samurai Girl:Real Bout High School, Dragon Knights, Outlaw Star, Cowboy Bebop, YuGiOh, Slayers, Fuushigi Yuugi, Zoids, and Ranma 1/2 to understand ALL of the jokes… none of which I own… yadda, yadda.

Chapter : Only

                Wufei looked around at the overly large circus tent, pausing as someone made a call for the show, and the others soon followed. He abruptly stepped out of the spotlight and turned to his comrades.

                "No~w what?"

                "I-I will not perform in front of such a crowd of weaklings!"

                "You're just scared!" Duo snapped back impatiently as Wufei puffed his chest out.

                "I am not! I will be the announcer! Weakling!"

                "Does this show begin today?" Irvine groaned from one of the middle row seats. Van elbowed him as Fiona giggled. The Chinese boy from before stepped into the light again. "How did you people talk me into this?" Irvine shot a sudden look at Moonbay. He sighed suddenly. "Never mind."

                "Ladies and gents!," there was slight pause and the announcer appeared to say something under his breath concerning weaklings, but then continued. "I am pleased to announce Trowa's three-ring circus!" He waved, overdramatically, even for a circus, at the curtains directly behind him. Instead of movement from there, a muscular boy, sixteen or so, wearing a strong-man suit, walked across the tight rope above them from behind. The announcer immediately went red, and almost jumped out of the spotlight. The tight rope walker jumped suddenly, landing nimbly on his feet, before standing and taking the microphone.

                "Yeah, so? I could do that…" Gene grumbled as a black-haired girl next to him giggled.

                "Truly?" Suzuka asked from behind him. "I would think that, you being afraid of space would make that a little bit hard, don't you agree?"

                "Baka…"

                "Oh, but it would be fun to see~!" Fred Lou cried suddenly, seeming to appear out of nowhere.

                "Argh, you again!" Gene jumped up and began to run down the isle, in the opposite direction, of course.

                "Doesn't that seem a little odd?" Caramon asked as a red headed man and another black haired man, the red head in the lead, rushed past.

                "Wait, Gene! I want to watch the circus together!"

                "Not in your life, buddy!" And raced on. Tanis looked utterly confused.

                "Yep. There are some very strange people around here, obviously."

                "Humph. I've seen weirder," Raistlin admitted coldly. He glared at Caramon, then over his shoulder at Crysania. "I cannot believe you people talked me into this…"

                "Aw, but this is going to be fun!" Tika cried from the other side of Caramon. Raistlin's eyes narrowed and she took refuge behind her husband. Flint suddenly got up and started to stand on his seat, looking around.

                "Tas, Tas! Darn! Where has the useless midget gone to?"

                "He's taller than you, Flint…" Tanis pointed out suddenly as Flint grew red under his beard.

                "Th-that's not the point!" He cried, disheveled, before getting down on the floor. "I just don't want to clean up after the guy…"

                "He, he!" Tas noted happily as he stood backstage. He really didn't know why so many people weren't allowed back here, but, a kender was always welcome!

                "Um, excuse me, little boy? Are you, um, lost?" A simple voice asked from behind him. Tas jumped a half-foot and turned on his heel, almost hitting the girl in the face with his topknot.

                "H-how…"

                "Thief!" Wufei cried suddenly as he noted Tas's possession of his katana. Usually, a stolen item wouldn't be noticeable, but the katana was too big for any of his pouches, so… Wufei dived at the small kender, then watched as he flicked off into the rings. Ignoring the crowd, by some unknown force, Wufei raced after the kender.

                "Ha! This is getting interesting! The Chinese dude's chasing some kid!" Shizuma cried happily, reverting everyone's attention to the stage. Ryoko Mitsurugi blinked in surprise. Was that a katana he was carrying?

                Fey walked down the steps next to the isles, selling anything she could get her hands on. This, of course, included popcorn, soda, and… blackberry wine. Some funny looking people had sold it to her, dirt cheap, and she needed to make a little cash…

                "Soda, wine, Popcorn!" She cried, then, finally, got an answer. A tall, muscularly figure stood up, while his obvious girlfriend attempted to find something on the ground. A cloaked figure next to him glared with utmost disgust at the standing man, and all the people nearest them, including an elf, a half-elf, a priestess, a dwarf, and two plainsmen were on the ground, searching for something. The tall man eagerly took five glasses, and passed them to the uncaring people. He sighed, sat down, and handed one to his brother, who, upon smelling it, gulped it down and asked for two more. With a sigh, he complied, and Fey wandered off quickly. Weird. Just plain weird.

                "Little wretch!" Wufei screamed as he dived at the child again. By this time, the other pilots had rushed out, curious, and Quatre had run out to help, while Duo attempted to die laughing, and Heero just looked on with a large sweatdrop. This was hopeless. Catherine was busy trying to calm Wufei down from the sidelines, and Trowa was doing a play-by-play.

                "Well, this is a little more interesting…" Inu Yasha noted as the midget turned around with the katana and brandished it at the owner, who only grew angrier. Kagome hit him upside the head.

                "Baka ya-!" Miroku placed a hand over Kagome's mouth as the sleeping Rin stirred slightly in Shesshomeru's lap. The aforementioned dog demon gave her the death glare, and she answered by pointing to the stage. After looking on a moment, Shesshomeru gently placed Rin in the same chair as his assistant, and jumped nimbly from seat to seat, reaching the bottom efficiently.

                "This did just get interesting…" Inu Yasha, yet again, earned himself another hit to the head.

                Yusuke smirked and cracked his knuckles. Before him sat a large set of cds and cd players, all connected to an extremely large set of speakers. "Oh, havoc, here I come!"

                "And so, it seems another opponent has entered the ring!" Trowa announced, somewhat surprised. Shesshomeru landed gracefully on one foot, glaring down at the small kender. Tas stood awestruck as the demon whisked away his katana. He turned to hand it to Wufei, before he felt a large fireball blast beside him. This was strange.

                "Raistlin! Seriously!" Crysania cried, trying to restrain the now thoroughly drunk mage (on blackberry wine, at that!) from aiming fireballs randomly around the stage. He opened his mouth for another, and she clasped both hands over it, which wasn't an easy feat, considering it's size. Caramon shook his head. Fizban, almost out of nowhere, bopped him on the head.

                "Seriously! I thought you had better class!" Raistlin just glared at him, before managing to set his robes on fire. "YEOW~! That's not funny!"

                Yusuke looked over his shoulder at Kuwabara, who shook his head. There was nothing there that wasn't stupid, kiddy clown music! Argh!

                "DEMON!" Rath cried as he attempted to jump up. Both Rune and Thats were barely able to restrain him. Fire sat on his shoulder and shook his head, sweatdropping as Rath called out again.

                "DEMON HUNTING! Come on, leggo!" He struggled, but luckily for him, another large blast from Raistlin scared Rune and Thatz just enough to loosen their grip. He ran down over the heads of the people towards Shesshomeru.

                Bakura's head hit the next seat as an unwanted foot to the head slammed into him. He came back up, looking drowsy. Tea glared after the persecutor, a tall boy with spiky purple-black hair, who had dived into the third ring.

                "Some people have no class!"

                "I will avenge Bakura!" Joey and Yugi cried in unison as they ran to the edge of the isle to follow the kid. Bakura watched them go with a sweatdrop. This was bad…

                Shesshomeru bounced away as a large, yet ornate, sword clashed to the ground where he had just stood. He turned his eyes towards the kid, who glared with a sadistic gleam in his eyes, back at him. Shesshomeru immediately drew his sword. Wufei looked between one and the other, and started as someone started to make bets to his left.

                "Tomahome! This isn't funny!" Miaka cried as Tomahome readily took bets. Nuriko smirked.

                "Toma-baby, isn't this just the most perfect opertunity for cash, ne?" Nuriko laughed.

                "YEP!"

                Ryoko's eyes widened. BATTLE!

                "See ya!" She shot over one shoulder at Tenchi and co. as she rushed off. Ayeka grumbled and stiffened as someone behind her hit a boy over her head with a large clunk.

                "Won't fight women! HA! Weakling!" The voice of the attacker rang through the stadium. Ayeka cringed.

                "FINALLY!" Kuwabara almost jumped with joy. This was perfect! Pop! Yusuke looked over his shoulder and blanched.

                "Fine, but rock next, 'kay?"

                "And then, country!" Koenma called from behind them, making them both jump a mile or so, and Kuwabara dropped the ancient cd, shattering it.

                "Well, we could do rock now…" Yusuke admitted as Kuwabara turned on Koenma.

                Ranma hit the floor next to Shesshomeru just before Ryoko arrived. Darn that Akane, won't she ever give it a rest? Ryoko floated down beside him, smirking. He looked up at her, a worried expression on his face.

                "Another one? How many of you are there?!?" She ignored him, attacking Shesshomeru, fighting his yellow whip with a similar sword. Rath took a step back, and Wufei dodged into the fray, knocking the demonic pirate into Ranma.

                "It seems we have a spectacular show of strength between the white-haired demon, who is currently fighting the ex-announcer, Wufei, and the green-haired woman, who is currently in combat with a black-haired martial artist!" Trowa called out calmly as Duo pulled another microphone up and joined him behind a table (think of the super bowl…).

                "Why, yes! Yet, Wufei, the Chinese challenger, seems unable to take defeat gracefully!"

                "What the heck does that mean, DUO?!" Wufei cried as he parried Shesshomeru again.

                "The purple-haired challenger looks somewhat confused, as the battle rages on, literally, in-between him and the only two other combatants… Wait! I have just been informed, the flying lady is none other than the notorious space pirate, mercenary of the unjust skies, Ryoko!"

                "What kind of entrance is that?!" She cried back in dismay. Quatre and Heero seemed to be drowning in sweatdrops as a loud Beetles song blasted over the speakers.

                "It appears to me that someone has taken control of the speaker system…" Trowa noted in a mysterious voice, which earned him a dubious look from Duo.

                "Riiight, Trowa-san. More combatants have arrived! A short kid with spiked black hair, and a tall, dumb-looking Yankee with blond hair!"

                "WHAT THE-" Joey was cut off as he ran straight into Rath.

                "It seems a problem has begun between the human challenger, Joey, as his girlfriends seem to be calling from the audience, and the fire yokai, Rath, as heard from his girlfriend, the blond-haired elf in the fourteenth row."

                "GIRLFRIEND?!? WITH THAT DWEEB?!" Tea and Mia called from the audience, barely being held back by Tristan and Bakura.

                "Um, Rune?" Thatz asked casually as Rune managed to pull himself from his facefault on the floor.

                "Er… I'm going to have nightmares for weeks… Right after I kill Rath." Thatz just shrugged.

                "Does the fact that this is supposed to be a circus unnerve any of you?" Lina asked curiously of her three companions, Zelgadis Graywords, Gourry Gabriev, and Amelia… you don't need to know her whole name, two of which shook their heads.

                "A circus should be filled with happiness and aerobatics, not fighting! I shall go triumph over this evil at once!" Amelia cried, jumping up, and managing to tumble down all the stairs. Zelgadis sighed, and Gourry looked between the falling Amelia and Lina.

                "How is fighting a bad thing?"

                "Never mind, Gourry, never mind."

                "The crumpled Rath seems to have dislodged himself form Joey the Yankee, and is sheathing his sword, taking him on unarmed!… Which is accounted for by his impressive maneuvers and tripping ability…"
                "A new fighter seems to have entered the ring, just between the space pirate and the black-haired martial artist, and… seems to be casting a… light spell?" As predicted, the small Justice-Protector had managed to get to her feet, casting a light spell of large proportions aimed at the tall, white-haired demon, who quirked an eyebrow.

                "What do you want, pitiful human?"

                "I'll show you the TRUE meaning of JUSTICE!" She cried out in some insane joy. Ryoko, having given up the fight to the newcomer, and Ranma, happy to be out of the fray, exchanged looks of dire confusion. Amelia pulled her hand back, preparing to fire, when-

                "Amelia, come on. I'm not paying off the tent, too…" Lina Inverse groaned aloud as she dragged off Amelia by her hands. Shesshomeru and the others watched with sweatdrops aplenty as the short, redheaded girl dragged off the Defender of Justice.

                "Hm. What weak women. It is no wonder such a weak girl and a flat-chested one cannot live up to the name of justice," Wufei stated plainly, ignoring the random fireballs still raining down from Raistlin's part of the seating. Lina stopped dead in her tracks.

                "How can you call a beautiful girl such things?!" She cried in dismay, even as she prepared for a spell.

                "DON'T DO IT!" Gourry and Zelgadis cried in unison, just as she threw sunglasses on in preparation for the explosion.

                "BOMB SPLIT!" With a large flash, the circus tent turned stadium was abolished, leaving a few rows of seating, quite a few crispy audience and telecast members, more than enough burnt out demons, one half-demon in a coma, and five flabbergasted Gundam pilots.

                "That… went well…" Duo groaned aloud.

                "Our… Tent…" Catherine groaned as sagged against the last remaining wall.

                "This… has… no… justice…"

                "I can't believe I lost another chance at self destruction…" Heero grumbled irritably.

                "I'm in complete agreement, you know." Rath acknowledged as he sat down, Deus's huge sword laying out in front of him.

                "The show…"

                "My popcorn! My Food! My WINE!" Fey Valentine cried as she slid to the ground.

                "… We survived without more than fifty scratches… it's a miracle…" Gourry said happily as Zelgadis stood, dusting himself off.

                "Yes. It seems that Dragon Slave has lost its chance again."

                "I suppose you have a plan to pay for all of this?" Hiei asked casually as he and Kurama walked upon the two other Reikai Tentei, near the edge of the catastrophe.

                "It's Yusuke here! I don't have a clue!"

                "I should have expected as much…" Kurama admitted, amused, as he earned a dark glare from Hiei.

                "When will our babysitting troubles end?"

~Finis