Disclaimer: Again, I am borrowing Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Inc. Characters. But, it won't be the first time

Author's Note: I knew almost as soon as I had "finished" this story, that it wasn't finished. One reader brought up the point, and I swear they were reading my mind, that Faith wouldn't go along with it. And as you will see, Faith has a … change of heart. Faith, as I see her, often times thinks with her heart before she thinks with her head. I know that in the buffyverse,  Buffy is THE Slayer. She would never abandon her duties.  But I set this right after she had been yanked out of heaven. We already know how she coped with it; this is just a "what if" alternative. So, to get back to my point, the story is not finished, and here is another part of it.

To quote a really great line from an otherwise no so great movie " Just when you think you are out of it, they pull you right back in"

Rated R for language and sexual stuff.

Goodbye: Chapter 2

Decisions

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Forever seems to be getting a lot shorter these days

We are at a dance club in some city somewhere. Hell, I am not keepin' track anymore 'cause we have to move so much. I just know we are at this little club. It's dark except for the lights on the stage and dance floor. B's out there… Sorry, Anne is out there, she says I shouldn't call her B anymore, except when we are sure we are alone… shakin' her thing, looking' so hot, attracting a crowd. And she is mine. All mine. She's workin' the crowd, makin' 'em sweat, I can see it in how she moves. She knows she's got'em eatin' out of her hand, and she loves it.

We have been together for months now, goin' from place to place. Workin' when we can, stealing( me, not her. I won't let her) when we can't. Changed our names…she is "Anne" , her middle name. I am " Hope" 'cause she says I am her hope. We still dust vamps from time to time, for 'fun'( we are slayers, after all. You can't hang up the slayer thing like an old raggedy blouse in the closet. Ya gotta do it). We are together. The lovin' is mind-blowing( god what that girl can do with her fingers makes me hot thinkin' about it). We're livin' the life. Doin' what we want. Everything is peachy… right?

So why the hell am I so fucking miserable?

Why'm I here, sittin' at this table, nursing a warm beer. Why aren't I out there shakin' my ass, makin' the rubes drool? Why am I brooding so much; thinking so much?

'Cause it's all wrong. I screwed up big time. And I don't know how to fix it

That's not B. That is NOT the slayer I knew. The ones her 'Scoobies' knew, and loved .S'like she is trying to stop being B., and is trying to be me instead. Tryin' to out-Faith Faith. But it isn't even me, really. It is what she thinks I am… some shell of me.  I should be pissed; I'm just sad.

What is THAT about, anyway? I am Faith. Faith. Ms. I don't give a crap about nothin'. Ms. Get in, Get some, Get out. Ms. Nothin' gets to me.

But she gets to me. She really gets to me.

Stupid mistake # 2: Fell for her, hard. Really, really fell for her. Damn her, anyway. She makes me care for her, about her. And what I am seein', I'm not likin'

'cause I aint seeing B anymore. I am not seeing that…sweetness that so attracted me to her. That natural caring for others, without thinking about it. That constant tryin' to do the right thing, that used ta make  me so crazy. The way she'd get out in front, like a lioness, to protect her babies.

It's her body(God, what a body). It's her voice. But something important  aint there.

Damn, damn and damn. I gotta fix this, and I don't know how.

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We are running again. We are on the road, somewhere. This fucking piece o junk we traded her car for is getting harder to keep running. Maybe if I could score a bike somewhere, we'd do the easy rider thing. Better than this. Anything would be better than this.

I am so tired of running. I wanna stop. I wanna stop so bad. But I can't. Fucking Council. I don't care what they do to me, but they will hurt her too, probably kill her. And I can't let that happen. So we keep running. But I wanna stop.

Maybe if I offered myself up. Let 'em kill me. Then they get their new slayer. But, who am I kidding? They won't let Buffy alone. They would make her pay for daring to get away from them. And, she wouldn't let me, anyway. She would run right in, like some crazed lioness, and fight them to protect me. She can't help it. Anytime she even thinks someone is gonna give me a hard time, she is like right there. Damn, I guess she cares for me too.

I try to talk to her. Try to get her to open up. Try to reach that old Buffy I know is still there, somewhere. But she won't do it. She blows me off, tells me to shut up, doesn't want to go there, be there, think there. She gets all nervy and restless. She starts to rant and rave, saying I don't love her, I wanna get rid of her, I am a bitch and should leave her alone. Then I gotta plead and beg and get all stupid to calm her down.

Why do I love her so fucking much? I can't take this much more. I am goin' nuts. I am all twisted and hurting inside, watching her

God, B come back please. I need you to save me, so I can save you

I need to help her. I need HELP.

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Ok, now I am totally fucking desperate. We nearly got caught last night. Two of those council creeps caught up with us.

We finally ditched that crap heap of a car, and I scored us a bike(don't ask, you don't wanna know). We were motorin' down the highway, it was getting late, we were turnin' into another ratty ass motel to spend the night(but any place with her is like heaven…shit, I hate being obsessed with her). And in turns this big black Mercedes, with the tinted 'shield an' all. Right. Someone in those wheels is gonna stay in Motel Hell here. Yeah, and I am the tooth fairy. Fuck. So, I start to turn out again, and the fuckers start shootin' at us." Get down, B. We've been made" I yelled, and I cranked that bike up to its max. We had a long hard ride, tryin' to ditch 'em, but we finally did it. But, somehow, they grazed me. I was bleeding, and B was going ballistic. She wanted to hop the bike and go after them. I had to hold her back(did I say how strong Blondie is?). then she gets all mothery on me and does the Florence Nightingale thing. I eye her out of the corner of my eye, and I see she is like, crying. God, my heart just melts. I see these little bits of B, and I get hope. Maybe it's not too late.

But this can't go on like this. We got lucky, this time. But we are gonna be made again. And one, or both of us are gonna get killed, I don't care if it is me. But Her? I would go over the top, and charge the fuckers, and get killed too. Cause I couldn't live if she died… I just couldn't

No, it's gotta stop. And I finally figured where I can get help. And how it can be done. How I can save her; give her old life back to her. But I know I'm gonna lose everything. I'm gonna lose her.

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She's sleeping now.

I am watching her, making sure the drug takes effect. Ya, I drugged her. Had to. I gotta change things, and I can't take a chance that she'll wake and find me gone. Find out what I am gonna do. Cause then it'll be over; she'll bolt and I will be guilty of killing her, as much as if I shot her.

I hate this. I feel like Judas. But I know if I don't do this, we aren't gonna survive much longer. She won't survive much longer. And I hate that idea even more.

So, I watch her…for a bit. God, she looks like herself when she is sleeping. So innocent. None of that shell she has when she is awake. And I love her 100 times more, and all I wanna do is lie by her and hold her. Get a grip, Faith. Do what ya gotta do. Shit, Damn and Hell. Bye, B. I am sorry. Hope you'll forgive me.

I walk out of the room, and away from the motel . I picked up one of those cheap, disposable cells(don't ask).The prepay kind ya can't trace. I make a call.

" Angel Investigations"

" I need to talk to Angel"

"Faith, is that you?" Shit, Cordy HAD to answer

"Yeah, it's me. Lemme talk to Angel"

"Faith, where ARE you? We have been worried, since you broke…" Cordy starts up, but I cut her off

" Faith? Angel. NOW!" I am not going into this with her

 a few seconds, then he picks up

"Faith? Where are you?"

" C'mon Angel, what kinda fool you think I am? And don't bother tracing this, I got one of those disposable cells."

" Ok… what do you want then, Faith?"

" It's about B…."  He cuts me off

"Buffy???? She's been missing for months. Do you know where she is? Is she ok?"

Yeah, great, I am missing, who cares. Buffy is missing, they call out the fucking National Guard. Shut up, Faith, you got somethin' to do.

I go into the whole story with him, from the graveyard in Sunnyhell to now. He listens, very, very quiet on his end. Gee, ever put down that torch, Angel?

" … so, you can see, I need to get ahold of Giles. I have an idea how we can bring Buffy back, get her back home. But I need him to help me. And no fucking Council. They tried to kill us once; that aint happenin' again. I really don't trust  Giles, but I know he cares about her, and I think he can be…persuaded… to act in her interest, and not the Council's."

Then I tell him my idea, and how it might work. And he agrees that it might. So, he tells me Giles is back in Sunnyhell…has been since B did her disappearing act. They've been hunting all over for her(see what I mean?).He is kinda hesitant to give me the number, cause a few of the Scoobies are convinced I offed  Buffy(Shit!) when I broke jail. But finally I wheedle it out of him, hang up and call the number.

" Hello?"

"Hey, G, long time"

"FAITH !?!! Where are you? Where is Buffy? Did you…" I cut him off

" Nice to hear from you too, G. Buffy is fine. She is with me. But she doesn't want to come home"

"Faith, I really find that hard to believe" Ahhh, G. Ever stuffy eh?

"Look, G. Frankly I don't give a rats ass what you think of me. That's not important. B is important" Whoa, did that shut him up.

Then I go over the story with him, leaving out the juicier stuff(don't want to give the man a heart attack…yet). And he sputtered something about me and B and I said " Look, G. I didn't force her. She chose, not me. I like her taste, but I didn't force her. Got it" Again, silence.

So, I go into the rest of my plan, and after a long silence, he agrees… reluctantly.

" Two more things, G."

"Yes?"

"She has to believe I betrayed her. She has to be convinced I sold her out. For money or something. Got it?"

"Faith? What? Why?" Giles sputtered. God, that man needs a life, bad

"Look, G. I love her. But she can't love me back anymore. She has to hate me, think I betrayed her. She has to turn to her friends, her 'Scoobies' again, and be B again. Not this person she is becoming. If she retains any feelings for me, it might not work. So, she has to hate me.

A long silence on his part. I swear I can see him cleaning those glasses of his.

" Very well, Faith. What else?"

" No other Scoobies. I  can't deal with them. You, and Angel. When this is over, I will give myself up to Angel. I'll go back to prison."

" Why, Faith? There is no need"

" Cause, without her, its all like prison, anyway"

" When shall we do this?"

" Sooner the better, G"

" Where are you?" I give him the location of the motel.

" I think I can be there early tomorrow"

" Fine. Lets get this done." I hang up.

I walk back to the motel. I feel like dying

Damn, B… Ya got me again.

TBC

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So, what do you think? Let me know.