After an hour of driving our heroes come to the Town of Edermore.
Next to the town lies a large swamp and an impassible forest.
"Well this looks rather interesting. Cid your team will explore the swamp. I will take my group into Edermore and look for any information on how to get to Mt. Wyvern." Cloud commanded.
"I'll be at the Jewel store," Tifa shouted racing into the town.
Before them stood Edermore, a large village with Roman styled building and a medieval castle situated in the town center. Cloud scanned the town for anyone that looked as if they could be of help. Then he spotted a warrior arguing with a castle guard.
"Looks like they could be of some help" Cloud told Sephiroth.
"Okay you talk to them, I'm going to hit the bar and inn to see what info I can gather." Sephiroth said.
The two parted ways and Cloud made his way through the square toward the Castle.
"What do you mean, the princess has been missing for months? The only place left to look is Mt. Wvyen." The warrior shouted.
"I'm sorry but the king is not risking his men on a suicide mission. Not only is Wyvern blocked by the magical impassible forest filled with horrible monsters, but the swamp is protected by a fierce guardian that devours all in its path," the guard persisted.
These words hit Cloud in the gut. He had sent Cid and the others to investigate.
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"This swamp smells worst than yer cooking Barrett," Cid said now knee high in swamp water. "Shudd up and keep going," Barrett insisted.
"Hey guys I just found a steel breastplate, some lightning materia and a destruction lance in a treasure chest randomly tossed into this swamp," Mirage said tossing the lance to Cid.
"Convenient, not in the 7-11 kinda way either, bad convenient," Cid said cautiously scanning the swap for danger.
"Hey cut it out, Cid," Barrett yelled at him.
"What?" Cid turned and looked at him, "All Hell. this is one of those cliché moments every game has where the monster randomly appears and nobody was expecting it right?"
As if on cue, the enormous Rotan Squid rose from the swamp with a hideous moan of anger. "Shit that thing is big and ugly," Cid said as the cigarette fell from his dropped jaw.
(*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*)
"I'm sure it's nothing they can't handle. I wonder what kind of materia they have here?" Cloud said turning towards the magic shop.
(*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*)
"Run away!" Barrett screamed like a scared kindergartner. Cid and Barrett blew pass Mirage who stood battle ready.
"Where are you guys going?" She yelled at them.
"Anywhere but here. Oh man I am never going to eat calamari again," Barrett shouted still running at top speed.
"Ok babies, Mommy will kill the big bad monster for you," Mirage said as the monster stood inches from her face.
"That girl's nuttier than squirrel shit," Cid said in disbelief.
"Thundaga," she chanted closing her eyes and folding her hands . A fierce bolt of lighting tore through the sky and struck the Squid. As it stood paralyzed she charged at the monster with her gunblade.
"Deathblow!" She cried.
She set to work slicing and slashing at the beast as Cid and Barrett watched.
"Oh man that's gotta hurt. I think its dead now.. Ok you can stop hacking it to piec- Sweet God, I ain't never seen so much blood in my life," Barrett said as bits of monster flew past his head.
"Damn! Give Quentin Tarrentino that bitch's number," Cid exclaimed.
After doing her Kurosawa I-just-punched-your-ticket pose, Mirage walked back towards her party. Blood dappled her face and stained her gunblade. Cid and Barrett just gapped at her.
"Sushi anybody?" she said holding out a piece of the monster.
Barrett fainted.
"Yer awful sexy when yer ruthlessly massacring yer enemies," Cid said, "You like computers?"
" Why do you ask?" Mirage responded.
"Cause I got a floppy for yer A-drive," He returned.
"Was it something I said?" Cid questioned as she threw a chunk of monster at his head.
(*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*)
Back at the Bar, Sephiroth was enjoying his vampire's vengeance. Various NPCS had given him the Burning Jewel of Strength, a few phoenix downs, three steel armlets, a fire materia and a pair of panties.
"It sure is nice to be famous," he said looking at the blue thong before him, "If only she were more masculine."
Cloud walked in carrying a sack full of ethers, potions, lightning, ice, and cure materia.
"Suckers, I traded them all those jelly bracelets for this stuff," he said to Sephiroth.
Tifa shortly followed with a nice diamond pendant, an emerald bracelet and diamond studded brass knuckles.
"TIFA, DID YOU BLOW ALL OF OUR GIL ON THAT CRAP?!" Cloud said in a panic.
"Come on now, sweetie, do you think I would be that selfish? I didn't use money to pay for this stuff," She said coyly.
"Ahem." Sephiroth began, "Well so far I have gathered that this impassible forest cannot be crossed no matter what. Some crazy old wizard petrified it years ago to stop people from stealing his apples. What is more is I have gathered intel on the monsters we will face ahead: The Vampire Masks, the Torture Gars, and the Infected Golems. But mostly we have to watch out for the Bishop of Madness that lives at the summit of the volcano."
"Well, I guess we can go find the others now," Cloud said satisfied with their trip.
Just then YMCA came on over the jukebox.
"Oh hey its my favorite song!" Sephiroth jumped up from his stool. He ran to the dance floor and started dancing.
"Oh my God." Cloud said in complete shock.
"I said young man. da da da duh da" Sephiroth sung.
"Well this looks rather interesting. Cid your team will explore the swamp. I will take my group into Edermore and look for any information on how to get to Mt. Wyvern." Cloud commanded.
"I'll be at the Jewel store," Tifa shouted racing into the town.
Before them stood Edermore, a large village with Roman styled building and a medieval castle situated in the town center. Cloud scanned the town for anyone that looked as if they could be of help. Then he spotted a warrior arguing with a castle guard.
"Looks like they could be of some help" Cloud told Sephiroth.
"Okay you talk to them, I'm going to hit the bar and inn to see what info I can gather." Sephiroth said.
The two parted ways and Cloud made his way through the square toward the Castle.
"What do you mean, the princess has been missing for months? The only place left to look is Mt. Wvyen." The warrior shouted.
"I'm sorry but the king is not risking his men on a suicide mission. Not only is Wyvern blocked by the magical impassible forest filled with horrible monsters, but the swamp is protected by a fierce guardian that devours all in its path," the guard persisted.
These words hit Cloud in the gut. He had sent Cid and the others to investigate.
(*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*)
"This swamp smells worst than yer cooking Barrett," Cid said now knee high in swamp water. "Shudd up and keep going," Barrett insisted.
"Hey guys I just found a steel breastplate, some lightning materia and a destruction lance in a treasure chest randomly tossed into this swamp," Mirage said tossing the lance to Cid.
"Convenient, not in the 7-11 kinda way either, bad convenient," Cid said cautiously scanning the swap for danger.
"Hey cut it out, Cid," Barrett yelled at him.
"What?" Cid turned and looked at him, "All Hell. this is one of those cliché moments every game has where the monster randomly appears and nobody was expecting it right?"
As if on cue, the enormous Rotan Squid rose from the swamp with a hideous moan of anger. "Shit that thing is big and ugly," Cid said as the cigarette fell from his dropped jaw.
(*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*)
"I'm sure it's nothing they can't handle. I wonder what kind of materia they have here?" Cloud said turning towards the magic shop.
(*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*)
"Run away!" Barrett screamed like a scared kindergartner. Cid and Barrett blew pass Mirage who stood battle ready.
"Where are you guys going?" She yelled at them.
"Anywhere but here. Oh man I am never going to eat calamari again," Barrett shouted still running at top speed.
"Ok babies, Mommy will kill the big bad monster for you," Mirage said as the monster stood inches from her face.
"That girl's nuttier than squirrel shit," Cid said in disbelief.
"Thundaga," she chanted closing her eyes and folding her hands . A fierce bolt of lighting tore through the sky and struck the Squid. As it stood paralyzed she charged at the monster with her gunblade.
"Deathblow!" She cried.
She set to work slicing and slashing at the beast as Cid and Barrett watched.
"Oh man that's gotta hurt. I think its dead now.. Ok you can stop hacking it to piec- Sweet God, I ain't never seen so much blood in my life," Barrett said as bits of monster flew past his head.
"Damn! Give Quentin Tarrentino that bitch's number," Cid exclaimed.
After doing her Kurosawa I-just-punched-your-ticket pose, Mirage walked back towards her party. Blood dappled her face and stained her gunblade. Cid and Barrett just gapped at her.
"Sushi anybody?" she said holding out a piece of the monster.
Barrett fainted.
"Yer awful sexy when yer ruthlessly massacring yer enemies," Cid said, "You like computers?"
" Why do you ask?" Mirage responded.
"Cause I got a floppy for yer A-drive," He returned.
"Was it something I said?" Cid questioned as she threw a chunk of monster at his head.
(*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*) (*)__(*)
Back at the Bar, Sephiroth was enjoying his vampire's vengeance. Various NPCS had given him the Burning Jewel of Strength, a few phoenix downs, three steel armlets, a fire materia and a pair of panties.
"It sure is nice to be famous," he said looking at the blue thong before him, "If only she were more masculine."
Cloud walked in carrying a sack full of ethers, potions, lightning, ice, and cure materia.
"Suckers, I traded them all those jelly bracelets for this stuff," he said to Sephiroth.
Tifa shortly followed with a nice diamond pendant, an emerald bracelet and diamond studded brass knuckles.
"TIFA, DID YOU BLOW ALL OF OUR GIL ON THAT CRAP?!" Cloud said in a panic.
"Come on now, sweetie, do you think I would be that selfish? I didn't use money to pay for this stuff," She said coyly.
"Ahem." Sephiroth began, "Well so far I have gathered that this impassible forest cannot be crossed no matter what. Some crazy old wizard petrified it years ago to stop people from stealing his apples. What is more is I have gathered intel on the monsters we will face ahead: The Vampire Masks, the Torture Gars, and the Infected Golems. But mostly we have to watch out for the Bishop of Madness that lives at the summit of the volcano."
"Well, I guess we can go find the others now," Cloud said satisfied with their trip.
Just then YMCA came on over the jukebox.
"Oh hey its my favorite song!" Sephiroth jumped up from his stool. He ran to the dance floor and started dancing.
"Oh my God." Cloud said in complete shock.
"I said young man. da da da duh da" Sephiroth sung.