******Disclaimer******
I do not the TMNT or any of the other Mirage Studio mutants, nor do I own the wonderful Mr. Peter Laird. You know, without this great man, I would not be able to find Turtle toys in my stocking on Christmas day. (HINT!HINT!)
As our story opens, we are shown a large music room, complete with many Christmas decorations and bright blinking lights. Bing Crosby's White Christmas plays in the background. The colorful Mirage cast of mutants, including the Turtles, the Mighty Mutanimals, along with Bebop and Rocksteady, are standing about the room, talking, laughing, playing cards-
Rocksteady: Youse got any threes, Torlte?
Mikey: Nope! Go fish dude!
Rocksteady: Hows about I punch your lights out?
Mike: (throws cards into the air) Here! Take them all! Don't hurt me!
-and...sleeping?!
Mondo Gecko: (snore).... I don't want any more corn dogs..........put down the mustard (snore).....
Leo: (enters the room, carrying a bandleaders baton and sheet music) Okay people! Take your places! Time to practice!
(Leo's smile fades, for no one moves, or even notices him in the room)
Leo: (clears his throat) Ahem! Excuse me? Hello?
(The only response Leo gets is another snore from Mondo)
Leo:(sighs heavily, then gets an idea) Hey! Who spiked the eggnog?
(Everyone jumps up and races to the refreshment table, where a punch bowl sits, cups in hand. Raphael picks up the ladle and smells the eggnog)
Rapheal: Hey, I don't smell any rum!
Mike: Dude, maybe it's vodka! You can't smell vodka!
(Raph smiles and nods, pouring himself two cups)
Leo: Now that I have your attention, we need to get this song as perfect as possible. The company party is tomorrow night, and I want it to be perfect for Mr. Laird. So, if all of you imperfect people would take your places we could become perfect!
(Everyone stares blankly at Leo, as Dreadmon leans over to Donatello)
Dreadmon: Your brotha has had too much eggnog, mon!
(Don pushes the bowl of eggnog behind the poinsettia centerpiece on the table)
Leo: Okay, come on! Don't be shy! Everyone on the bleachers!
(Leo makes shooing motions with his hands. The mutants all groan and slowly move up the steps of the bleachers. Leo notices Mondo is still sleeping, and pokes him with his baton)
Mondo: (groggy) Huh? What? Where's my canned cheese?
(He looks up at Leo, then after giving the impatient turtle a big smile, he scrambles to his feet and takes his place between Ray Filet and Mike. Leo approaches the podium)
Leo: Now, does anyone remember what Christmas song we are performing?
Mike: Oo! Oo! I know! (Mike jumps up and down) Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer!
(The Mutants all start to sing the song, mixing the verses up and all are horribly out of tune.)
Leo: (smacks his face with his palm) NO! We are NOT singing Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer! We are singing The Christmas Song! (Pounds the baton on the podium and raises it in the air)Okay, are you ready , my brothers?
Mike and Don: Ready, Leo!
Raph: Nope! ( Leo taps his foot impatiently as Raph rushes back over to the punch bowl and refills his cups) Okay, now I am!
Leo: (sighs again) Good! Now, are you ready, Mighty Mutanimals?
Mondo: (scratches his head) What are we singing?
Dreadmon: The Chipmunk Song, mon!
Jagwar: (rubs his stomach) Mmmmmm! I prefer my chipmunks roasted evenly.
Slash: (slurping his eggnog like a dog) Slash don't think he had chipmunk before-
Screwloose: (looks down at Wingnut) Da Boss has got that look in his eyes.....
Merdude: Quick! Hide za chipmunks!
Leatherhead: Y'all, chipmunks taste betta in a stew, I guarowntee!
Ray: ( rolls his eyes and whistles loudly, causing the Mutanimals to quickly quiet down) Now we are Leonardo.
Leo: (bows his head) Thank you.
(He looks over at Bebop, who is picking his nose, and Rocksteady, who is holding a lighter to the ends of Donatello's mask.)
Leo: I'm not EVEN going to ask you two.......Okay everyone! Smile really big, and put your hearts into it! This is for Peter! (He sways his hands) And a one and a two and-
(The Mirage Mutants all take a deep breath and begin to sing)
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
(Suddenly, Mike throws up his hand and waves it around. Leo stops his directing and glares at his brother)
Leo: What now, Mike?
Mikey: This song is WAY too slow, bro! We need pick up the speed a little! (He nudges Mondo, who has fallen asleep standing up) Back me up, man!
Mondo: (snore) Wha? (still half asleep) What are you talking about? I didn't eat the last can of Spam.
Leo: Sorry Mikey. We are doing The Christmas song, and that's the end of it! ( raises his hands, then eyes everyone) Anyone else want to protest?
(Everyone else talks at once, while Raph sneaks back to the punch bowl. Leo suddenly unsheathes his katanas and growls. The talking stops)
Leo: I knew you would see it my way.( he returns the swords) Now, again, from the top!
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Dreadmon: Now, who be this Jack Frost mon?
Jagwar: I don't believe I have ever met the man. He doesn't seem nice, nipping at someone's nose like that. It seems rude.
Leo: (very agitated) What?!
Slash: Slash want chipmunk! Is chipmunk done roasting yet?
Don:( sniffs the air) Hey, what's burning? (Turns his head to see the tendrils of his mask of fire.) I'm on FIRE!!
Slash: (sniffs) Slash smell chipmunk burning!
( He panics and runs from the room. Rocksteady laughs to himself, but then sees Leo standing in front of him, with his open palm shoved in his face)
Leo: Okay, rockhead, give me that!
Rocksteady: And why should I, Tortle?
(Rocksteady laughs, but then stops as he falls to the floor. Don stands behind him, his bo staff in hand. He picks up the lighter and hands it to Leo)
Don: We need to get nonflammable material next time.
(Leo moves back to the podium, very much on edge. He looks over at the refreshment table and sees Raph with five cups of egg nog in his hands)
Leo: Come on, Raph. We need you to replace Rocksteady in the bass section.
Raph: No way! I only practiced in the tenor section and that's where I'm stayin'!
Merdude: When is zes going to be over? I have ze fin appointment at za five thirty.
Leatherhead: And I gots me a football game ta watch! The Gators are havin a winnin season!
Leo: (screams like a mad man) NO! Everyone is to stay put until we have had some practice and we can't even get through a simple song without everyone messing it up! All I wanted was to make a good impression on Peter and thank him for everything he has given us! Is that so wrong?
(The mutants stared blankly in Leo's direction.)
Mike: Uh, Leo?
Leo: What Mike? What? What? WHAT??
(Mikes points as Leo turns around, finally noticing that Peter Laird himself has been standing behind him through the entire fit)
Leo: (laughs nervously) Hehe... hey there Peter! We were just..... just practicing.... for the company party tomorrow. Weren't we, guys?
(Everyone giggles queitly at Leo)
Peter: I can see that Leonardo. (He walks over to a chair and sits down) May I hear how it sounds? I bet you all sound terrific!
(Leo nervously gulps, then raises his baton. But instead of The Christmas song, Mikey starts everyone with Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer)
Mike: Ooooooooo...Grandma got ran over by a reindeer..
(They all join in as Mike swings his fingers back and forth, setting the rhythm. Mondo's snores and Rocksteady's moans are heard in the back ground. After the song is over, Leo looks over at Peter, and offers the man a nervous smile. Peter then laughs very loudly and claps)
Peter: That was brilliant! (He walks over to Leo and pats him on the back) Well done! You did a great job with them! The employees will love this! And I was afraid you would do something slow and boring! (Peter then exits the room)
Leo: (sighs heavily and rubs the nervous twitch out of his eye, then starts to yell again) That was terrible! You were all out of tune! One more time from the top!
Don: But that wasn't even the right song!
Dreadmon: Yea, mon. Don't you want ta do the roasting chipmunks song?
Slash: (hears his stomach growl) Slash hungry for chipmunk!
Leo: Screw that stupid song! ( he throws his sheet music and baton to the floor) We're doing Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer and that's final! Anyone got a problem with it?
(Everyone shakes their heads, feeling very much confused by the freaked out mutant turtle in front of them)
Leo: Good! That's what I thought!
Raph: (stands beside Leo and hands him a cup of egg nog) Here Bro! You could use this!
(Leo grabs the glass, then reaches into the shelf in the podium, pulling out a large bottle of rum. He gulps the egg nog, then take a big swig of the rum)
Raph: I thought you said it was spiked.
Leo: (takes another drink of rum) I lied.
Raph: Now wonder I don't feel drunk yet. I thought I was just holdin' it really good!
Leo: (talking in a drunken slur) Okay, from the top now......here we go.....
All: Grandma got ran over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa...
Leo: But as for me and Grandpa, (hiccups) we...believe...
(Leo then passes out and falls to the floor)
Mike: Merry Christmas everyone!!
The End!