"Solemn Slumber"
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Author's Note: I do not own Harry Potter. Everything written in bold italics is the song "War on Drugs" by Barenaked Ladies. It's from their new cd "Everything to Everyone" and I would suggest that everyone check it out. I don't own or represent Barenaked Ladies and their work.
This is story is dark, and deals with serious issues. It is probably not appropriate for younger readers, but I wrote it for a friend who asked me to write something dark regarding the issue of Cho Chang. I usually don't write things like this.
Oh, and this is written in the POV of Cho Chang, who thinks Harry and Hermione have a thing going. I am not an H/H ship supporter in case any anti H/H shippers flame me.
Written for CJ.
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Cho Chang was about at the end of her rope. It was the summer between her 6th and 7th year at Hogwarts, and she was alone in her bedroom. Her parents were out to dinner with another couple. Her parents weren't home much, and she was an only child. She was always lonely during the summer but this summer it was much worse.
Cedric Diggory had been dead for a little over a year. She had loved Cedric and he had loved her. She couldn't cope with the loss of him. She had seen Harry Potter bring back his body. She had relived the scene a thousand times in her nightmares. She had thought a lot about Harry. She knew he had risked a lot to do the right thing and bring back Cedric's body for his family. It was a noble thing to do. She had noticed Harry before. He was famous, how could she not? They had played against each other in Quiditch and he was very talented. He had asked her to the Yule Ball but she was already promised to go with Cedric. She was in love with both boys at once. But she had chosen Cedric. Then Cedric was murdered. Her grief was powerful and deep. But Harry was a comfort to her. He cared about her and understood how she felt. At least that's what she thought. Apparently, Harry didn't like her very much at all. Why was it that whenever she tried to talk to Harry about Cedric he changed the subject? He must have the same feelings she did. They could have comforted each other and found love and happiness in each other's arms. But it was not to be. Cho knew that Harry must have been in love with Hermione Granger. That's the only explanation that she could come up with. Cho now had a new boyfriend, but she didn't love him, she didn't even really care about him. He was just another male, someone to try to keep her company. But he came from a muggle family and could not come to see her so Cho was alone. She was not surprised to discover that she could barely remember her new boyfriend's name.
Cho turned the radio on and lies down on her bed.
She likes to sleep with the radio on
So she can dream of her favorite song
That one that no one has ever sung
Since she was small
She'll never know that she made it up
She had a soul and we ate it up
Thrown away like a paper cup
The music plays
There was a paper cup on her night stand. She had been placed on medication. Pain killers and sleeping pills. In that paper cup, she had poured the entire contents of a bottle of each of her medications.
The only flaw in her detailed plan
is where she wins back the love of her man
Everyone knows that he's never coming back
He took her heart and she took his name
He couldn't stand taking all the blame
He left her only with guilt and shame
and then she cracked.
Cho thought that when she had returned to school that fall, Harry would look for her. He would seek her out. They would become good friends and fall in love. She wouldn't be alone anymore. But she knew that Harry didn't really love her. He loved Hermione Granger. He had to! Why else would he have wanted to spend all that time with her. Like on Valentine's Day? He left her to go see Hermione. It was very heartbreaking. Cho knew that Harry was never going to love her, and that she was alone. First Cedric, now Harry. She was destined to be alone and unloved forever. She was unworthy of such love.
Won't it be dull when we rid ourselves of all these demons haunting us
to keep us company
She had kissed Harry that night in the Room of Requirement. She thought Harry would like to kiss her but he seemed appalled. It couldn't have been because she was crying; why would that have bothered him? It was probably because he didn't like her, but didn't want to say. He was probably dating Hermione the whole time.
In the dream I refuse to have
We fall asleep in a lukewarm bath
We're left to deal with the aftermath again
On behalf of humanity
I will fight for your sanity
How profound such profanity can be
Her parents had never noticed her much. But this summer they were paying a little more attention. Just enough attention to drug her up with all sorts of pills, send her to a physiologist, and tell her that she had lost her mind.
Won't it be dull to rid ourselves of all these demons haunting us
to keep us company?
Won't it be odd to be happy like we always thought we're supposed to feel
But never seem to be?
Cho starred at the paper cup full of pills. Cho loved to sleep but she had to take a potion for a dreamless sleep before she could do it. Otherwise, she would have haunted dreams. Harry and Cedric's faces would be cloaked in shadows and they would stare at her. She would try to tell them she cared about them and that she was sorry for whatever horrible thing she did to make them want to leave her. In her insanity, she never thought for a moment neither boy left her .Cedric was murdered and in death he loved her. Harry had not left her either. He had never been in love with Hermione. He loved Cho but her minded was clouded with misery and could not see it. In the end, it was actually Cho who left Harry to be alone.
Near where I live there's a viaduct
Where people jump when they're out of luck
Raining down on the cars and trucks below
They've put a net there to catch there fall
Like that'll stop anyone at all
What they don't know is when nature calls you go.
She was lonely. She couldn't deal with the constant and pain and the content loneliness. Her heart constantly ached. She wanted it to end. She looked at the paper cup fondly as if she were Juliet crying out "Oh, happy dagger!" in insane ecstasy.
Won't be dull when we rid ourselves of all these demons haunting us
to keep us company?
Won't it be odd to be happy like we always thought we're supposed to feel?
But never seem to be?
They say that Jesus and mental health
Are just for those who can help themselves
What good is it in when you live in hell on Earth?
They very fear that makes you want to die
is the shame that keeps you alive.
It's more trouble than your suicide is worth.
Cedric's face was in her mind and she took the paper cup from her night stand, one by one she swallowed each pill. "Take me to Cedric." she would whisper after swallowing one. Her throat grew tight and her mind became fuzzy. But she managed to swallow each noxious pill. After they were gone, she laid her head down on the pillow. It had already been dark in her bedroom but it was now darker, and the darkness was growing with each passing moment. In her final moments of life, standing in the corner of her room she saw a vision of Cedric and Harry watching over her. They were like angels taking her home. One was the light and one was the dark. And then all Cho could see was the darkness and her angels as she fell into a solemn slumber that she would never awaken from.
Won't be dull when we rid ourselves of all these demons haunting us
to keep us company?
Won't it be odd to be happy like we always thought we're supposed to feel?
But never seem to be?
Cho was gone but she was now with Cedric where she would discover that Cedric was never gone from her. He was a shadow of light watching over her, trying to protect her. At night when she would sleep, sometimes Cho had felt a feather light caress on her bare flesh but she had thought that she was dreaming. He was a shadow of light but Cho was so deeply shrouded in darkness that she could not see him. But none of these truths really mattered because Cho Chang was gone from the mortal world, journeyed beyond the veil, and she would be with Cedric forever. She would never be alone.
Hard to admit I fought the war on drugs
My hands were tied and the phone was bugged.
Another died and the world just shrugged it off.
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The End.