FAR BEHIND
He laid awake still thinking of what she told him. Everything else seemed forgotten. What else could he hope for? He could just throw it all away and have nothing. He didn't want anyone to comfort him.
Koshino woke up the next morning; his eyes were bulging in obvious lack of sleep. He went out of his room for food. Before he reached the fridge, the phone rang, it was Sendoh.
"Is that you Hiroaki?"
"Akira…er, hi."
"How are you? I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier. I went to visit my cousin for a few days…I called there the day before but they said you were at the park. What's been happening to you lately?" Sendoh asked without stuttering.
"I don't feel like talking about it but, I think I have to." Koshino was feeling so down at the moment, Sendoh almost didn't hear anything.
"what is it?"
"Do you remember this girl I was talking about?"
"Shohoku team's manager?"
"Yeah, well, I got busted."
There was a long silence until Sendoh spoke,
"I'm sorry."
"That's not what I need to hear, Akira, you tell me I'm stupid." Koshino said in a very demanding tone.
"you're not, we all make mistakes."
"That's what they always said, man, I really like this girl, I think if we're gonna remain like this forever, I'll have no one else, do you understand? I know I shouldn't be saying things like this to you but you're…you know, closer to me than anyone else." Koshino said, his voice slowed down as he finished.
"You can actually tell me whatever you like. I mean, what are friends for?" Sendoh said.
"I know. Look, what am I to do?"
"Can't you just settle for awhile? I mean, look at me, I've completely gotten over everything. Can't you just stay for a year without, you know, certain someone? There are more interesting and important things than that. Basketball is one." Sendoh said patiently.
Koshino didn't know if this is what he wanted to hear. He's gotten over Sendoh a long time ago but he knew it was so much better if they were together.
"I never should've left Ryonan, I never would have been like this, and I've been trying to get it outta my head but…I know I like basketball more than girls but it gets in the way. I'm afraid I won't do well during the season and make a fool of myself in front of her, all because of this," Koshino sounded as if he was going to cry.
"You're a lot better than that, you know it. You're the one who's always spirited and lively and you don't simply let matters go in the way-"
"I don't want compliments thrown at me when I've just done something so unforgivable." Said Koshino hurriedly as though he didn't want Sendoh praising him and all.
"Unforgivable to whom?"
"Well, who else? To her, to Miyagi, and to you,"
"I already said I understood what you felt for her. I thought it's been settled…listen, don't blame yourself for something as natural as falling for someone else because it's just sad to think you're not even happy." Sendoh finished, his voice more melancholic than it had ever been.
"I deserve this."
Sendoh couldn't think of another consolation. He knew Koshino had hurt him beyond his own understanding but there was no way he was going to put that on Koshino's face. He loved him dearly.
"Look, don't put too much burden on your back; it will affect your performance. Just think that we'll be playing in the Nationals, that'll cheer you up," Sendoh finally managed to say after a long silence.
"You're completely right. God, I can't believe I've been fussing over this stuff when the season's nearly starting."
Their conversation ended amiably and Koshino never thought he would find comfort in anyone when he least hoped it.
He laid awake still thinking of what she told him. Everything else seemed forgotten. What else could he hope for? He could just throw it all away and have nothing. He didn't want anyone to comfort him.
Koshino woke up the next morning; his eyes were bulging in obvious lack of sleep. He went out of his room for food. Before he reached the fridge, the phone rang, it was Sendoh.
"Is that you Hiroaki?"
"Akira…er, hi."
"How are you? I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier. I went to visit my cousin for a few days…I called there the day before but they said you were at the park. What's been happening to you lately?" Sendoh asked without stuttering.
"I don't feel like talking about it but, I think I have to." Koshino was feeling so down at the moment, Sendoh almost didn't hear anything.
"what is it?"
"Do you remember this girl I was talking about?"
"Shohoku team's manager?"
"Yeah, well, I got busted."
There was a long silence until Sendoh spoke,
"I'm sorry."
"That's not what I need to hear, Akira, you tell me I'm stupid." Koshino said in a very demanding tone.
"you're not, we all make mistakes."
"That's what they always said, man, I really like this girl, I think if we're gonna remain like this forever, I'll have no one else, do you understand? I know I shouldn't be saying things like this to you but you're…you know, closer to me than anyone else." Koshino said, his voice slowed down as he finished.
"You can actually tell me whatever you like. I mean, what are friends for?" Sendoh said.
"I know. Look, what am I to do?"
"Can't you just settle for awhile? I mean, look at me, I've completely gotten over everything. Can't you just stay for a year without, you know, certain someone? There are more interesting and important things than that. Basketball is one." Sendoh said patiently.
Koshino didn't know if this is what he wanted to hear. He's gotten over Sendoh a long time ago but he knew it was so much better if they were together.
"I never should've left Ryonan, I never would have been like this, and I've been trying to get it outta my head but…I know I like basketball more than girls but it gets in the way. I'm afraid I won't do well during the season and make a fool of myself in front of her, all because of this," Koshino sounded as if he was going to cry.
"You're a lot better than that, you know it. You're the one who's always spirited and lively and you don't simply let matters go in the way-"
"I don't want compliments thrown at me when I've just done something so unforgivable." Said Koshino hurriedly as though he didn't want Sendoh praising him and all.
"Unforgivable to whom?"
"Well, who else? To her, to Miyagi, and to you,"
"I already said I understood what you felt for her. I thought it's been settled…listen, don't blame yourself for something as natural as falling for someone else because it's just sad to think you're not even happy." Sendoh finished, his voice more melancholic than it had ever been.
"I deserve this."
Sendoh couldn't think of another consolation. He knew Koshino had hurt him beyond his own understanding but there was no way he was going to put that on Koshino's face. He loved him dearly.
"Look, don't put too much burden on your back; it will affect your performance. Just think that we'll be playing in the Nationals, that'll cheer you up," Sendoh finally managed to say after a long silence.
"You're completely right. God, I can't believe I've been fussing over this stuff when the season's nearly starting."
Their conversation ended amiably and Koshino never thought he would find comfort in anyone when he least hoped it.