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Quistis sat next to the hospital bed, clutching it's occupant's pale hand in her own. It had been six days since she had liberated the people of Winhill. Squall and the others had finally come after Squall's father, President Laguna Loire of Esthar, had agreed to pay for the mission to Winhill. If they had been a few minutes longer in arriving, it would've been too late.
After the rescue, Quistis had woken up in her dorm at the Garden. At first she hadn't been able to remember anything of the day before. She had felt extremely worn out and had at first thought that another training session with Seifer had drained her mentally and physically. It had only been after she had seen blood under her nails and on her skin that she had remembered what had happened. She had ran to the cafeteria and, in tears, had demanded to know what had happened after she had been put to sleep. Rinoa and Selphie had led her to the infirmary where Raijin and Fujin already were.
And here she sat, next to Seifer's bed. Dr. Kadowaki came to check on him from time to time but Quistis was the only one who was with him constantly. The doctor told Quistis that Seifer's chances of survival were slim. It was a miracle he was still alive now, the doctor had said. All they could do was wait and pray.
More than once in a day she was overcome with grief and guilt. If it hadn't been for her, Seifer wouldn't be lying in the bed at all. If she had just stayed in the Garden, Seifer wouldn't have come after her. On the other hand, if she hadn't gone, the residents of Winhill would've been killed. Which would've been easier, ignoring Pete's call and hearing of the slaughter of Winhill or sitting by Seifer's side as he fought a losing battle for his life? Right now she would have to pick the latter.
At night, she would have dreams that she had been the one who had shoved the sword through Seifer's body, that she had laughed with Skylar Deling as the blood pooled around the man she was supposed to love. The guilt was eating her alive. She barely ate anything, had trouble sleeping and only left Seifer's side to use the restroom. The worst part was she hadn't even been able to avenge him properly. Skylar Deling was still alive, probably in some high tech hospital getting the best treatment available while Seifer lay here in the Balamb Garden Infirmary, getting minimal care because Headmaster Cid insisted that no word get out about SeeD's involvement in the liberation of Winhill.
Quistis supposed she should be grateful that Headmaster Cid had intervened after they returned. If he hadn't, she would probably be rotting away in a Galbadian prison awaiting her execution. She did, after all, almost kill the President of Galbadia. In exchange for her freedom, Cid had promised the Galbadian government that Quistis would never speak of being in Winhill that day nor testify against Skylar Deling if the opportunity ever arose. She had signed the papers, not really understanding or caring. All she knew was that the papers allowed her to stay by Seifer's side.
There were times during the day when her brain would overload with all her thoughts and shut down. When she was like this, she was a zombie. She would barely respond if someone talked to her and she would just stare at Seifer without really seeing or feeling. During her trance-like episodes was the only time she forgot about everything that was happening around her. She had begun to look forward to the blissful nothingness; despite the worried looks the others gave her.
Now was not one of those times as she stared down at the near lifeless body of Seifer Almasy. His chest rose and fell with each breath, but other than that, it was impossible to tell that he was alive. He never moved, or twitched, or squeezed Quistis' hand or gave any reassuring sign that he was getting better, probably because he wasn't. Dr. Kadowaki had assured Quistis that he was in no pain and would one day "just give up" and stop breathing. Quistis begged Hyne every night to spare his life, to take her instead or any other deal she could think up. Nothing worked and slowly Seifer was slipping away from them, from her.
"Seifer," Quistis whispered like she did a hundred times a day, "please don't give up. We need you Seifer, I need you. My memory will come back someday and then we can get married and…" Like always, she trailed off as the tears choked her. And of course, there was no response from him.
Behind her, Quistis heard the door slide open. She turned and was not surprised to see Rinoa enter. The sorceress offered Quistis a weak smile and pulled up a chair next to her.
"How's he doing?" Rinoa inquired.
"No change," Quistis reported. They went through this routine every day and Quistis had come to hate the words "no change." To her, it meant a continuing state of limbo where one could neither mourn nor be joyful. If there had been a change in Seifer's condition, even if it was for the worse, it would be better than no change at all. At least if he was getting worse, they could steel themselves against the inevitable. With no change, they were stuck between sorrow and joy. It was a terrible place to be.
"Are you hungry?" Rinoa asked, "I'll bring you some food."
"I'm fine," Quistis answered, knowing that Rinoa would bring her the food anyway and she would do no more than pick at it.
"Quistis, I can't even imagine how you must be feeling," Rinoa started. Quistis looked over at her. This was new. "And I know it looks hopeless but don't give up on him. Seifer's a fighter, there's no way he's gonna let some punk kid like Skylar Deling kill him. He will get better. He will come back to you."
Quistis stared at the raven-haired woman, surprisingly comforted by her words. "Th…thank you Rinoa."
"You're welcome," Rinoa smiled again, much brighter this time. She stood up. "Stay with him. I have a feeling it won't be long now until he opens those beautiful emerald eyes to the world again." Rinoa exited the infirmary, leaving Quistis sitting in shock by Seifer's bedside.
It had only been ten minutes when Rinoa returned with a tray full of food.
"I brought you something anyway," Rinoa announced, "Just in case you change your mind."
"Thanks Rinoa," Quistis said. The dark-haired woman put the tray down on a nearby table like she did every day. Rinoa turned to leave, then stopped and turned back to the blonde.
"Quisty." Rinoa once again sat in the chair next to her. "You can't blame yourself for what happened. None of it was your fault. You didn't know that Seifer would follow you…" She trailed off as Quistis' eyes went wide and tears began to stream down her face. "Quisty, what's wrong?"
"He…" Quistis turned her gaze to Seifer, "he squeezed my hand!"
"Are you sure?" Rinoa stood up so she could see better. Sure enough, Seifer's fingers tightened around Quistis' for a split second. "Dr. Kadowaki!" Rinoa shouted, "Dr. Kadowaki! Come quick!"
The door slid open and the plump doctor hurried in, her face flushed from exertion. "What is it? What's wrong?"
Quistis looked up at the doctor. "He squeezed my hand."
"He did?" Dr. Kadowaki moved to the other side of the bed and listened to Seifer's heart. "His heart does seem to be stronger."
Quistis looked back down at Seifer. "Does that mean he's going to be okay?"
"Well, it is a good sign but he still has…" The doctor was interrupted by a gasp from Quistis.
"Seifer…" Quistis breathed as his emerald eyes opened slowly.
"Quis…ty?" he managed before his eyes closed again and he fell back into unconsciousness.
Quistis turned her watery sapphire gaze to Dr. Kadowaki, hope evident on her face.
The doctor nodded. "That is a very good sign. I'm pretty sure he's going to be okay."
Quistis burst into tears of joy and hugged Rinoa. The two women cried with each other as Dr. Kadowaki continued to examine Seifer.
"How many more days to I have to be in here?" Seifer whined as Dr. Kadowaki listened to him breathe.
"You've been in here for nearly a month, I don't think another few days is going to kill you," Quistis teased.
"Look at me!" Seifer exclaimed, "I'm getting all flabby!" Seifer lifted up his black T-shirt and poked at his still near-perfect abs.
"Oh yes," Quistis rolled her eyes, "You're practically a tub of jell-o."
"That's what I'm saying!" Seifer agreed, "I need to get out of here and kill something before I forget how."
"Trust me, Seifer," Dr. Kadowaki chuckled, "I don't think you'll ever forget how to kill."
"That hurt my feelings doc," Seifer told her, "Do you think I'm just a heartless machine with nothing inside except the urge to kill? I have love too." He looked over at Quistis and wiggled his eyebrows. "Lot's of love."
Quistis rolled her eyes again. "I'm going to get some food. What do you want?"
"The usual," Seifer replied.
"Do you want anything Dr. Kadowaki?"
"No thank you," the doctor smiled, "I'm fine."
"All right, I'll be back in a few minutes." Quistis waved and walked out the door.
On her way to the cafeteria, Quistis' mind wandered to the events of the past month. It had been a long recovery for Seifer but he was finally feeling like himself again. At first, he had only been able to stay awake for short periods of time but as he grew stronger, the coma-like states faded and eventually disappeared. He had somehow found out that Quistis blamed herself (she had a hunch that Rinoa told him) and he had made her promise that she wouldn't. Of course, sometimes the guilt still crept up on her, but Seifer was always there to drive it away. Their relationship was growing as well. Even though she still didn't remember her past, it seemed as if they had started over and she had even let him kiss her on a few occasions, although nothing more.
Quistis smiled and waved at a few Trepies who were in the cafeteria as she got into line. Yes, life was good.
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Outside the infirmary, the redhead watched as Quistis left and went to the cafeteria. She only left Seifer's side a few times a day and never for more than a half hour. If her plan was to be put into action, she'd have to hurry.
The red-headed woman waited until Quistis was out of sight and then hurried into the infirmary. Dr. Kadowaki was sitting at her desk and looked up as she entered.
"Can I help you?" the doctor asked.
"There's been an accident in the Training Center!" the girl informed, "one of my friends was hurt pretty badly."
"What happened?" Dr. Kadowaki demanded, already grabbing her medical supplies.
"We were fighting a T-Rexaur," the redhead relayed, "and it hit my friend with it's tail! Her leg was bleeding really bad!"
Dr. Kadowaki nodded and hurried out of the infirmary. As soon as she was gone, the worried look on her face melted into a sinister smile. She knew the doctor would be busy with Maili for a while. She had cut her pretty good. The best thing was, she knew that Maili would never tell the doctor what had really happened. She wanted to be accepted too badly. Now it was time to put the rest of her plan into action.
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Seifer heard the door slide open and looked up, a smile on his face. He had expected it to be Quistis but the smile faded when he saw it wasn't. "What do you want?"
"I just came to visit you," the red haired girl pouted at his tone.
"I told you Janai," Seifer reminded, "I'm not interested."
"I know," Janai insisted, "I was just worried about you, that's all." She sauntered over to his bed.
"I've been here for almost a month," Seifer stated, "why are you worried now that I'm healed?"
"I…"
"Just go Janai," Seifer ordered, "I've had enough of you stalking me."
This was not going as planned. She thought that he'd at least talk to her for a few minutes until Quistis got back. She didn't expect him to be such an asshole. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of the blonde instructor coming towards the infirmary with a tray of food in her hands. Now was her chance. Without out thinking, Janai jumped onto Seifer's bed and straddled him.
"What the…" Before he could finish, she bent down and kissed him.
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Quistis turned the corner and was approaching Seifer's room when she stopped dead in her tracks. Through the windows on either side of the door she could see inside the room. What she saw was a redheaded girl straddling Seifer on the bed and kissing him. Quistis' first instinct was to run into the room and rip the girl's head off. Unfortunately she ignored this thought and instead let the sadness wash over her. She turned around and sat the tray on Dr. Kadowaki's desk, and then bolted from the room.
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Seifer brought his hands up and shoved Janai off of him, hard enough to send her to the floor. "What the Hell do you think you're doing?"
Janai jumped to her feet, an ecstatic smile on her face. "Don't you see Seifer? Didn't you feel it? We're meant for each other!"
"You have three seconds to get out of here before you get hurt," Seifer growled, "1…"
"But Seifer…"
"2…"
"Quistis isn't right for you!" Janai cried, "She's a tramp! She'll dump you as soon as something better comes along!"
"3!" Seifer jumped out of the bed and started towards Janai. The girl screamed and dashed out of the room as quickly as she could. Seifer stopped following her and collapsed back onto the bed. Dr. Kadowaki was right, he wasn't ready to get up and move around a whole lot yet. He looked towards the door of the infirmary as he crawled back into bed. Where was Quistis?
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Quistis lay on her bed, her tears soaking the pillow. She had been such a fool. She had thought things were getting better between her and Seifer. It was her own fault. A few kisses weren't enough to satisfy a man like Seifer. She should have seen this coming. Of course he would turn to someone else for what he couldn't get from her. It didn't matter now though. What was done was done and there was nothing she could do to change it. How ironic that the things she wanted to remember were lost to her but the one thing she would love nothing more than to tuck away in a forgotten part of her brain would be forever burned into her memory.
Quistis sat up and rubbed her eyes. There was only one thing left to do. She went into the bathroom and washed her face to rid it of the tear streaks. She dried it and examined herself in the mirror. I look terrible, she thought. She waited for the redness in her eyes to fade and then headed to the infirmary. She was greeted by Dr. Kadowaki as she walked through the sliding door.
"Quistis!" she exclaimed when she saw Quistis enter, "there you are! Seifer's been bugging me every five minutes to find you."
"Is he alone in his room?" Quistis questioned.
"Yes."
"Thank you." Quistis walked past the doctor and into Seifer's room.
"There you are!" Seifer smiled as she entered, "Where have you been?" His smile faded as she walked over to his bed. "Quisty? What's wrong?"
"We have to talk," Quistis stated.
"About what?"
"About us." Quistis took a deep breath. "I don't remember how things were before but I know how things are going now."
"Quistis, what are you…"
She cut him off. "Things aren't working out Seifer. I'm not ready to be in a relationship with you and I know that it must be frustrating for you, so I'm cutting you loose."
"Excuse me?" Seifer stared at her, wide-eyed, "What do you mean?"
"I'm not saying it won't work eventually," Quistis continued, "maybe when my memory returns, things will be different but for now I think you should see other people. I know you have needs that I just can't fulfill right now."
"We already had this talk," Seifer reminded her desperately, "I told you I'd wait forever for you if that's what it takes."
"But that's not fair to you," Quistis insisted, "it's selfish of me to expect you to wait for me because of my problems." She quickly pulled the diamond engagement ring off of her finger and stuffed it into his hand. "I'm doing this for you Seifer. You need to be free. I know you do."
"Woman, what the Hell are you talking about?" Seifer demanded, "I don't need anything but you!"
"Please Seifer," Quistis begged, near tears, "Don't make this any harder than it already is." She bent down and kissed him on the forehead. "I'll see you around." Quistis turned and head towards the door.
"Quistis wait!" Seifer called.
Quistis ignored him and with tears streaming down her face, hurried out of the infirmary.
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And the plot thickens... I know this chapter is short but I wanted a quick update because everyone was angry with me for the last chapter. Although, I seriously doubt that the events of this chapter are going to make anyone hate me less. I promise that everything will be resolved in the last chapter, which just happens to be the next one. That's right my loyal readers, only one more chapter and an epilogue to go! Stay tuned as I will have it posted (both of them hopefully) by the end of the week.
Author's Question: I was wondering if anyone could help me. Does anyone know where I can find the japanese symbol for "believe" anywhere on the net? I really need to know what the kanji looks like and I would greatly appreciate any help on this subject. Thanks!