And Frodo looked at Sam with sad eyes. Sam looked as the lava and the rock and the chickens sped past them down the mountain as they lay aloft on a jut of rock, awaiting their doom.
'Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo?' Sam said, tears splashing down his innocent cheeks.
'I thought I told you to drop the Slave act. It is not cool!' Frodo yelled.
'The sweet smell of grass; the beer at the Red Dragon, or was it the Green Dragon? The water bubbling in the brook' he went on, oblivious to Frodo whacking him with his stump of a finger.
'I HAVE RABIES YOU KNOW!' Frodo shouted, waving the bloody finger up Sam's nose.
'Ooohooh! Rabies! I'm gonna get ya, I'm gonna get ya!' Frodo teased. Sam slapped his hand away.
'Get off you retard!' he yelled. 'Can't you think of Rosie? Oh how much I would love to kiss Rosie one last time. I'd marry her if I was going to live.' Sam started crying.
'Don't worry, Sam. You can marry me!' Frodo said joyously. 'Come on! Give us a kiss!'