Things seemed to have gone out of hand. I did not want this to happen, but
it made me feel treasured and dear to somebody. I decided that it is time
when my heart should do the leading.
I knew this day will come. And true enough, just as I finished dolling myself up for the night-out, I discovered Rui at the door.
"Going on a date with Doumyouji Tsukasa?" As usual, he was in his plain tone. Many a time, I had wished to tell him how hurtful he sometimes sound when I need a helping hand the most. But then, I was nobody to him to criticize his way of taking things. It is not sinful to be cynical.
I did not reply but grabbed for my bag. He did not give up. "Why?" I guess he was really curious. "Rui, sometimes things are not just about why, there are more to it which no one else can understand." I stopped for a moment. "Anyway, there is nothing between me and him. This, you can rest assured. I know my position."
"You like the dinner?" Tsukasa couched close. He looks like a lazy tiger that just had his feast and refuse to move an inch. I recall that slap on my face during our first meeting. I wouldn't have thought that was him.
"It was great." I smiled. Somehow, I like his searching glances, always seem to be examining me, making sure that he doesn't miss any details.
He laughed like a little boy who had won a trophy. "Have you thought about what I asked you the other day?" He did not intend to give up trying to get my approval.
I nodded. And then I shook my head. He knew what I meant. "It's alright. You have all your time to think it through."
"Tsukasa, I am older than you. It is not possible for anything to happen between the two of us." Tsukasa looked away, pretending he had not heard what I just said. I couldn't bear to hurt him anymore. I do like him. I know that very well. Maybe it's not the same as I once loved Amon. But I do like Tsukasa very much. At least more than I can ever expect myself to.
"Let's take a walk down the park, can we?" I held on to his hands. They felt like a safe harbor ever ready to allow the parking of my wounded soul.
I did not expect Soujirou to find me in school.
"Makino, at last I have found you." Soujirou was standing at the doorway of when I came out from the pantry with a bowl of microwave-heated noodles. Rui was obviously watching the 'show'.
I invited Soujirou to my dormitory. I let him sat down on the edge of my bed, and often him tea.
"You shouldn't have come." That was all I wanted to say to him.
He looked up in confusion. "Why shouldn't I come? Do you know everyone is worried about you?"
"Everyone?" I snapped. I was very sure; no one wanted me back. It was them who claimed that I brought shame upon the family. It was them who wanted me to 'get some fresh air' and so I did. Now Soujirou is trying to tell me, the town folks wanted me back.
I thought it was clear that he had no answer. But what I did not expect was, "It is me who want you back. I am the one who is worried about you."
I was expecting Soujirou to leave the very next day. But he didn't. Instead, he made up his mind to stay to persuade me.
I wasn't too bothered about Soujirou's presence as much as Tsukasa was. I knew it's soon or later before Tsukasa broke lose from the chain and attack Soujirou.
"Who is he?" This is the tenth time Tsukasa tried to seek an answer from me. I shook my head. Well, Soujirou is a nobody to me, just a normal childhood friend. But I knew the answer will not satisfied Tsukusa. So I did not give him any answer.
Tsukasa could see that I was very troubled by the mere presence of Soujirou and intended to push me no more. He gestured me to get his some food from the nearby café while he approached the tailing Soujirou. I knew I couldn't do much about it and so I followed his instructions. Silently, I prayed for Soujirou. I just wanted some peace in this new life.
"Who are you?" What surprised Tsukasa was that Soujirou asked him the question first.
"What do you think?" Tsukasa asked coldly.
On the other side of the road, I was peeking over the bushes at the two men. I was just making sure that Tsukasa wouldn't hurt Soujirou.
What happened next was what I would not like to remember.
"Hey! Bastard! Get out of my side! Don't you ever let me see you with my girl again!" There he was lying, who always seemed to know it all, Amon. He laid under my feet like a dead rat. "Tsukasa, let's leave this place." I grabbed Tsukasa hands and headed for his car.
I was still trembling when I reached my dorm. Tsukasa held on to me and whispered into my ears, "Don't worry, I am here. It's going to be just fine."
I shook my head. No, I have to start running again. But I did not say this to Tsukasa. I told him I will be fine after a night sleep. Though, he did not quite like the answer but he did not demand for another.
I was then all alone in my room again.
I should have guessed that Tsukasa will be in the car spying me. He is too smart to be fooled. I have to find another way out. I remembered the route leading to the male dormitories from the back of the building. I had no time to worry if I were to be caught for trespassing or misunderstood for some indecent acts.
If only I could cross over Rui's room without being seen. He told me once that his room led to a garden near the back gate of the school. However, he also told me, he had the habit of lingering alone at night, when he couldn't sleep. I prayed hard that Rui was snoring like a pig at this time.
But I seemed to have prayed the opposite instead. There he was, enjoying himself on a cigarette and gazing the stars. I didn't know that he smokes. Or I do not actually know what type of a person he is.
I was almost in love with his features. Slender limps and a sparkle in his eyes. His long fling that always seems to cover half his face. Is he ashamed to show off his beautiful facial features? He has this smile that always make butterflies soar in my tummy. I am not embarrassed at all to admit, that I think he is far more charming than Tsukasa.
I knew this day will come. And true enough, just as I finished dolling myself up for the night-out, I discovered Rui at the door.
"Going on a date with Doumyouji Tsukasa?" As usual, he was in his plain tone. Many a time, I had wished to tell him how hurtful he sometimes sound when I need a helping hand the most. But then, I was nobody to him to criticize his way of taking things. It is not sinful to be cynical.
I did not reply but grabbed for my bag. He did not give up. "Why?" I guess he was really curious. "Rui, sometimes things are not just about why, there are more to it which no one else can understand." I stopped for a moment. "Anyway, there is nothing between me and him. This, you can rest assured. I know my position."
"You like the dinner?" Tsukasa couched close. He looks like a lazy tiger that just had his feast and refuse to move an inch. I recall that slap on my face during our first meeting. I wouldn't have thought that was him.
"It was great." I smiled. Somehow, I like his searching glances, always seem to be examining me, making sure that he doesn't miss any details.
He laughed like a little boy who had won a trophy. "Have you thought about what I asked you the other day?" He did not intend to give up trying to get my approval.
I nodded. And then I shook my head. He knew what I meant. "It's alright. You have all your time to think it through."
"Tsukasa, I am older than you. It is not possible for anything to happen between the two of us." Tsukasa looked away, pretending he had not heard what I just said. I couldn't bear to hurt him anymore. I do like him. I know that very well. Maybe it's not the same as I once loved Amon. But I do like Tsukasa very much. At least more than I can ever expect myself to.
"Let's take a walk down the park, can we?" I held on to his hands. They felt like a safe harbor ever ready to allow the parking of my wounded soul.
I did not expect Soujirou to find me in school.
"Makino, at last I have found you." Soujirou was standing at the doorway of when I came out from the pantry with a bowl of microwave-heated noodles. Rui was obviously watching the 'show'.
I invited Soujirou to my dormitory. I let him sat down on the edge of my bed, and often him tea.
"You shouldn't have come." That was all I wanted to say to him.
He looked up in confusion. "Why shouldn't I come? Do you know everyone is worried about you?"
"Everyone?" I snapped. I was very sure; no one wanted me back. It was them who claimed that I brought shame upon the family. It was them who wanted me to 'get some fresh air' and so I did. Now Soujirou is trying to tell me, the town folks wanted me back.
I thought it was clear that he had no answer. But what I did not expect was, "It is me who want you back. I am the one who is worried about you."
I was expecting Soujirou to leave the very next day. But he didn't. Instead, he made up his mind to stay to persuade me.
I wasn't too bothered about Soujirou's presence as much as Tsukasa was. I knew it's soon or later before Tsukasa broke lose from the chain and attack Soujirou.
"Who is he?" This is the tenth time Tsukasa tried to seek an answer from me. I shook my head. Well, Soujirou is a nobody to me, just a normal childhood friend. But I knew the answer will not satisfied Tsukusa. So I did not give him any answer.
Tsukasa could see that I was very troubled by the mere presence of Soujirou and intended to push me no more. He gestured me to get his some food from the nearby café while he approached the tailing Soujirou. I knew I couldn't do much about it and so I followed his instructions. Silently, I prayed for Soujirou. I just wanted some peace in this new life.
"Who are you?" What surprised Tsukasa was that Soujirou asked him the question first.
"What do you think?" Tsukasa asked coldly.
On the other side of the road, I was peeking over the bushes at the two men. I was just making sure that Tsukasa wouldn't hurt Soujirou.
What happened next was what I would not like to remember.
"Hey! Bastard! Get out of my side! Don't you ever let me see you with my girl again!" There he was lying, who always seemed to know it all, Amon. He laid under my feet like a dead rat. "Tsukasa, let's leave this place." I grabbed Tsukasa hands and headed for his car.
I was still trembling when I reached my dorm. Tsukasa held on to me and whispered into my ears, "Don't worry, I am here. It's going to be just fine."
I shook my head. No, I have to start running again. But I did not say this to Tsukasa. I told him I will be fine after a night sleep. Though, he did not quite like the answer but he did not demand for another.
I was then all alone in my room again.
I should have guessed that Tsukasa will be in the car spying me. He is too smart to be fooled. I have to find another way out. I remembered the route leading to the male dormitories from the back of the building. I had no time to worry if I were to be caught for trespassing or misunderstood for some indecent acts.
If only I could cross over Rui's room without being seen. He told me once that his room led to a garden near the back gate of the school. However, he also told me, he had the habit of lingering alone at night, when he couldn't sleep. I prayed hard that Rui was snoring like a pig at this time.
But I seemed to have prayed the opposite instead. There he was, enjoying himself on a cigarette and gazing the stars. I didn't know that he smokes. Or I do not actually know what type of a person he is.
I was almost in love with his features. Slender limps and a sparkle in his eyes. His long fling that always seems to cover half his face. Is he ashamed to show off his beautiful facial features? He has this smile that always make butterflies soar in my tummy. I am not embarrassed at all to admit, that I think he is far more charming than Tsukasa.