When I woke up, I expected Tsukasa to have left. However, I was quite wrong
about him. I guessed I had always been quite wrong about Tsukasa. He was
very much different from Amon. He might be dominating and commanding but I
always had the last say in his decisions. He would never actually make me
do something if he knew I didn't like the idea of it. He knew I am always
lying to him to avoid his doubtful glances, but he never did expose me or
showed that he disbelieves whatever excuses I gave.
Tsukasa was looking at me thoughtfully when I opened my eyes. He smiled and kissed me on my cheek. Then he lay back in comfort holding onto my hands. He liked that look on Makino's face when she was sleeping beside him, he thought. She made him feel that she felt safe when he was with her and that she could depend on him when she is in need. This is all the assurance Tsukasa needed to know that he can protect her the way she wants him to. He can keep her happy and safe under his arms always. Whoever that crossed Makino's mind and reminded her of the hurt he had done to her, ought not to be forgiven. He would never let her feel that hurt ever again.
"Good morning, Tsukasa." I kissed him on his nose. Oh god, he does look boyish when he feels relaxed. Anyway, he is still a boy. Tsukasa frowned, when he thought he could read Makino's mind. He is not going to be anyone's boy. He is a man who will be able to keep his woman unworried under his control. I could feel the silent growls in Tsukasa indicating that he will not accept what I just thought of him.
I made Tsukasa sit in bed while I made breakfast. I recalled what happened a week ago with Rui.
I couldn't help but compared the feeling I received when I was with Rui and Tsukasa. Rui too, managed to comfort me. But it was a much sophisticated way Rui puts it. Instead, of making me feels that I will be safe under his wings like what Tsukasa did, Rui made me feels that I will be able to stand up on my own and fought off any challenges that hesitated me. He let me understands that I do not need another's protection and will not run away from my unhappy past again. Instead, he gives me the strength to fight back.
However, I wasn't quite sure I could be happy under Rui's concerns. I can only think of how big Tsukasa is as a harbor when I needs him.
Tsukasa sniffed at his food before he ate them. I waited anxiously for his response. He looked at me for moment and I thought I saw him winked. I let out a laugh and hug him so tightly that he fell backwards and I was on top of him with my face on his chest.
I could hear his heart beats faster. I looked up into his eyes and then lay onto his chest again. Dad, I missed you.
I felt Tsukasa getting up and sitting straight. I could feel his glance on me. I knew he wanted to know what always make me so sad every now and then. I put my arms around his waist and felt him sigh within. I thought I could feel his disappointment. I wanted to share with him, really. But not now, no way.
"Let's go shopping today. I always wanted to get you something." I knew he was trying to cheer me up.
Tsukasa held my hands tightly as we crossed the road. He wanted to look around at a boutique and I did not disagree. He went to the ladies section and seemed to be searching for something. I looked at him not able to guess what he was up to. Something caught his eyes and he seemed to smile a little. He looked up at me and said, "Why don't you take a walk down the street to the coffeehouse and waited for me?" I nodded and thought it was a good idea, because I don't comfortable with the many stares and glances from the other ladies in the boutique.
I almost ran out of the boutique and I thought I heard myself sigh in relief. I looked around, why do I feel someone was following me? I tried to convince myself that I was dreaming and started walking towards the coffee house.
As I passed by an alley, I could hear some commotion. There seemed to be a fight happening over there. I knew it was dangerous to pay attention to such happenings but I could help but response to the familiar voice.
"Who said you could beg in this lane? You better leave this place before we get even with you!"
"Please.. I lost my identification.if only you could grant me permission, once I get enough money to pay for my return travel, I will reward you handsomely once I back in my Kunisawa homeground."
"Kunisawa?! You telling me you are related to that wealthy merchant family? Don't try to fool me! Guys, lets teach this liar a lesson!"
I stood in my position for some moment, unable to move. So, I wasn't dreaming when I saw him the other day. Amon was really in town. I thought I heard him called my name. In the next minute, I was running away in the opposite direction.
I forgot all about Tsukasa and the wait at the coffeehouse. All I could think of is to 'escape' from Amon and do not ever let him know where I stay. I ran all the way back to the dormitory and I locked myself in the room, unwilling to answer to all calling.
He is coming for me, I knew it for sure. But for what reason, I could not tell. I did not ever want anything to happen to me.
I couldn't remember how long I have been in my dormitory. I just hid under the blanket and did not move. I prayed that Amon did not see which direction I ran towards. I prayed that he did not see me with Tsukasa. I prayed till I could pray no more and simply let go of the tears I held so long. I did really love him so much, or should I say, just too much. But it was then, I never want to have anything to do with Amon again. I started let my imagination run wild, thinking how Tsukasa would react when he knew about my past. I thought about how my life will go down into the drain once again.
I did not agree to be with Tsukasa because of his money or his potential abilities to fulfill my goal. I chose him because he was able to protect me from further harm and also from my hurtful past. He made me feel like a new person, someone I did not really know. And being that new person will mean I am taken out from my past.
Tsukasa was looking at me thoughtfully when I opened my eyes. He smiled and kissed me on my cheek. Then he lay back in comfort holding onto my hands. He liked that look on Makino's face when she was sleeping beside him, he thought. She made him feel that she felt safe when he was with her and that she could depend on him when she is in need. This is all the assurance Tsukasa needed to know that he can protect her the way she wants him to. He can keep her happy and safe under his arms always. Whoever that crossed Makino's mind and reminded her of the hurt he had done to her, ought not to be forgiven. He would never let her feel that hurt ever again.
"Good morning, Tsukasa." I kissed him on his nose. Oh god, he does look boyish when he feels relaxed. Anyway, he is still a boy. Tsukasa frowned, when he thought he could read Makino's mind. He is not going to be anyone's boy. He is a man who will be able to keep his woman unworried under his control. I could feel the silent growls in Tsukasa indicating that he will not accept what I just thought of him.
I made Tsukasa sit in bed while I made breakfast. I recalled what happened a week ago with Rui.
I couldn't help but compared the feeling I received when I was with Rui and Tsukasa. Rui too, managed to comfort me. But it was a much sophisticated way Rui puts it. Instead, of making me feels that I will be safe under his wings like what Tsukasa did, Rui made me feels that I will be able to stand up on my own and fought off any challenges that hesitated me. He let me understands that I do not need another's protection and will not run away from my unhappy past again. Instead, he gives me the strength to fight back.
However, I wasn't quite sure I could be happy under Rui's concerns. I can only think of how big Tsukasa is as a harbor when I needs him.
Tsukasa sniffed at his food before he ate them. I waited anxiously for his response. He looked at me for moment and I thought I saw him winked. I let out a laugh and hug him so tightly that he fell backwards and I was on top of him with my face on his chest.
I could hear his heart beats faster. I looked up into his eyes and then lay onto his chest again. Dad, I missed you.
I felt Tsukasa getting up and sitting straight. I could feel his glance on me. I knew he wanted to know what always make me so sad every now and then. I put my arms around his waist and felt him sigh within. I thought I could feel his disappointment. I wanted to share with him, really. But not now, no way.
"Let's go shopping today. I always wanted to get you something." I knew he was trying to cheer me up.
Tsukasa held my hands tightly as we crossed the road. He wanted to look around at a boutique and I did not disagree. He went to the ladies section and seemed to be searching for something. I looked at him not able to guess what he was up to. Something caught his eyes and he seemed to smile a little. He looked up at me and said, "Why don't you take a walk down the street to the coffeehouse and waited for me?" I nodded and thought it was a good idea, because I don't comfortable with the many stares and glances from the other ladies in the boutique.
I almost ran out of the boutique and I thought I heard myself sigh in relief. I looked around, why do I feel someone was following me? I tried to convince myself that I was dreaming and started walking towards the coffee house.
As I passed by an alley, I could hear some commotion. There seemed to be a fight happening over there. I knew it was dangerous to pay attention to such happenings but I could help but response to the familiar voice.
"Who said you could beg in this lane? You better leave this place before we get even with you!"
"Please.. I lost my identification.if only you could grant me permission, once I get enough money to pay for my return travel, I will reward you handsomely once I back in my Kunisawa homeground."
"Kunisawa?! You telling me you are related to that wealthy merchant family? Don't try to fool me! Guys, lets teach this liar a lesson!"
I stood in my position for some moment, unable to move. So, I wasn't dreaming when I saw him the other day. Amon was really in town. I thought I heard him called my name. In the next minute, I was running away in the opposite direction.
I forgot all about Tsukasa and the wait at the coffeehouse. All I could think of is to 'escape' from Amon and do not ever let him know where I stay. I ran all the way back to the dormitory and I locked myself in the room, unwilling to answer to all calling.
He is coming for me, I knew it for sure. But for what reason, I could not tell. I did not ever want anything to happen to me.
I couldn't remember how long I have been in my dormitory. I just hid under the blanket and did not move. I prayed that Amon did not see which direction I ran towards. I prayed that he did not see me with Tsukasa. I prayed till I could pray no more and simply let go of the tears I held so long. I did really love him so much, or should I say, just too much. But it was then, I never want to have anything to do with Amon again. I started let my imagination run wild, thinking how Tsukasa would react when he knew about my past. I thought about how my life will go down into the drain once again.
I did not agree to be with Tsukasa because of his money or his potential abilities to fulfill my goal. I chose him because he was able to protect me from further harm and also from my hurtful past. He made me feel like a new person, someone I did not really know. And being that new person will mean I am taken out from my past.