I did not remembered how long had I stayed in my room. But I lay in bed with my eyes closed. I couldn't imagine the look of Tsukasa's face when I see him again. He would definitely demand for a reason. And he could have been so mad over what I did that should had worried him dead. He might even lose his patience and hit me the way Amon usually did.

I shook my head hard. No, Tsukasa is not Amon. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I touched my tearful swollen eyes. The pain was from the inside of my heart.

I thought I could feel someone looking at me. I had laid motionless under my blanket all these with my lights off, pretending that either I was away or sleeping. But I could see shadows moving to and fro in my room from under my blanket.

I peeked from under my blanket and meet eye to eye with a pair of sparkling worried eyes.

"Rui?" I sat up from my bed, unable to believe myself. How did he get into the room? I thought.

"Finally you have woken up! Want to have a bite? My very own Home-Made sandwich!" Rui handed me his 'master-piece' with a smiley face. It was my favorite tuna sandwich.

I looked at the sandwich and looked at him. I did not have the appetite to eat at all. But I could see he is trying hard to cheer me on. I took a bite at the appealing looking sandwich. It tastes really great! I did not hesitate and finished the rest of the sandwich up in a gulp.

Rui grinned as he handed me a tissue. "Thanks! The way you eat make me think I am a great chef!" And he let out a laugh.

"Hey! I am not pretending! It tastes really great!" I demanded for another sandwich.

I waited for Rui to ask me the question but he did not. Instead, he joked. "You better locked your window well next time. I wouldn't want a burglar to sneak into your room the way I did." He pretended to be angry and swing his fingers in the air.

I nodded and looked at him gratefully. He had always been like this. Discreetly showing his concern but not pushing me for any answers.

When he saw that I am quite myself, he decided to take his leave. I beckoned him to use the front door. "No, Tsukasa is at the door." I trembled as I heard Rui's explanation. "But he seems fine. Make sure you are comfortable before you faced him." Rui patted on my shoulders. I nodded and sent Rui through my window.

I stood looking at the door. I hesitated to whether open it and received Tsukasa or to let myself feel better before I do so.

"Tsukasa." It was only morning when I eventually stepped out of my dormitory.

I could see Tsukasa's tired eyes twinkling with warmth as I met them as I opened the door.

"You stood here all night?" It was all that I could mutter. How could it be possible for him to stand here all night without checking whether I was in the room in the first place?

Tsukasa gave a slight nod and stretched out his arms to gather me. He did not say anything as he held my head in his embrace. I felt safe once more. But, how long more could I feel this way? How long more till Amon appeared in school and took everything I once own away from me again?

I could feel the tears gathering in my eyes but I refused to let them fell. This was all I asked for. To feel safe and loved. for how long, maybe it really doesn't matter at all.

Rui was brewing coffee when I entered the pantry. He smiled and offered me some coffee. I shook my head and pointed to some tea instead.

"Afraid you can't sleep tonight?" He grinned.

"Hee. quite so. But I will really love to try the tea today." I stuck out my tongue.

"It will really be nice to try something different some times." Rui replied not looking into my eyes, with a low voice indicating an understatement.

"Rui, can we have dinner together tonight?" I waited for him to look up.

To my surprise, he did not. But instead, he let out a low laugh, "Aren't you scared that Tsukasa will go crazy when he knew you asked me out for dinner?"

I knew his response was justified.

"He went downtown with his Dad to meet some influential people and won't be back till tomorrow afternoon." I reasoned.

Rui looked up and I could see he did not seemed to look relief, but angry.

"Are you going to live by his rule, forever?" He did not wait for my answer before he continued, "Let's have dinner at my house. It's just across the street. We will leave school separately; meet you five thirty at the super- mart."

Rui did not say much as he moved around the super-mart choosing the ingredients he wanted.

I followed behind him closely.

"My house will be cold at night. Do you have a sweater with you?"

"Ermm.. yes. I always carried one in my bag."

"That's good. I won't want you to catch a cold."

And true enough, Rui's house was just across the street; about fifteen minutes walk from the school. I started to wonder why he chose to stay in the dormitory instead.

He told me to make myself at home while he buzzed around in the kitchen.

It wasn't a very big house, however, there was a little garden at the back and there were some very lovely forget-me-not in a plough of flowers.

I filled up the watering can from a tap in the garden and started watering the flowers.

"Enjoying yourself?" The coldness in Rui's voice shocked me, and I dropped the watering can onto the ground. I turned around to face him who was standing at the backdoor behind me.

"Why? Rui, tell me. Why are you always so temperamental?" I ran to him and shook his arms.

I really couldn't understand how he can change his attitudes so fast. He could be a caring guy in the day and then he could become so aloof and indifferent when I met him in the corridor at suppertime.

"Do you have a problem? I can help you solve it. Will you want to share it with me?" I searched for the warmth I once saw in him when he appeared with the food outside my windows.

"Can you? Is this the reason you ask for a dinner with me?" Rui must have already knew I was here because I needed him to solve my problems instead.

I knew what was in his mind. "Yes, I have my own problems. Yes, I am clear that I couldn't solve my own problems. But, at least, I dare admit that I do have some problems. But what about you? Why are you always so unpredictable? Rui, I really don't know you." I could not understand why my tears are gathering.

To my surprise, he grinned. "Of course, you don't know me. I never wanted to let you know me in the first place." With that he placed my head into his arms. "Let's have our dinner."

"Stay here tonight, will you?" Rui looked into my eyes with such sadness that I could not reject his offer.

He lay next to me by the fireplace and closed his eyes. I could hear his breathing just an inch away from me.

Suddenly, I realized why I felt such familiarity towards Rui ever since the first day I met him.

"Is Kunisawa Amon looking for you?" Rui turned and looked coldly, straight into my trembling eyes.

I stared at Rui in disbelieve. Who is this guy? Why does he seem to know my past? Isn't he just the Rui I knew? Rui. Hanazawa Rui.. was he that man who hit Amon when we were in this town touring a couple of weeks just before I left Amon?

I let out a scream and sat up, moving slowly away from Rui.

"Yes, now you remember me, don't you? Makino Tsukushi, former fiancée of Kunisawa Amon. Are you regretting that you did not run far enough? Away from everyone who had once been a victim under Kunisawa Amon's influences?" Rui seemed to have become another person.

"I am not his fiancée anymore. What else do you want from me?" The all familiar headache stuck me and I held on to my head in pain.

"Did you decide to run away again the other night? The same way you did that night you left Kunisawa Amon's house?" Rui pressed his body against me, demanding for an answer.

I tried to push him away but I could not. He was too heavy. In the end, he managed to push himself over me and lay right on top of my body. I did not dare look into his eyes, fearing that his merciless glares will pierce me through the heart.

I thought he will continue his hysterical interrogation, however he did not. I could feel that he is now breathing heavily and was holding on to me tightly.

He let his lips met mine and I felt myself dissolving into his embraces. He felt so warm, so comfortable, so desirable.

It had been a long time since I felt so wanted by a man. I could not reject such an offer. I felt powerless feeling his touch on me.

However, he himself refused to go very far. It was him who rolled over and tidied his clothes first before the action could begin. I was the one who felt 'cheated' by his 'rejection' having allowed him to arouse me this far.

"You know, how much I hated myself, letting myself fell in love with you this far?" Rui panted. I could feel his heartbeat refusing to slow down as well. It must be hard for him to 'reject' me.

"I am sorry to have you go through such an ordeal." I knew it must have been really hard on Rui.

"Makiko, was my student when I first started teaching. She used to visit me often in this house, always chatting non-stop. I was an orphan, hence her warmth and cheerfulness really brightened up my life." Rui sat at a corner and held his legs together.

I stayed where I was and watched him. He seemed to have loved this student of his.

"I did not know if that was called love. But I knew it was abnormal to maintain a relationship between the two of us. I rejected her when she wanted to offer herself to me and told her if only if she wasn't my student, maybe we could then be together."

"After that night, she stopped coming to school and went to work in a bar. She wanted to earn quick money so that we could leave this place together."

"Then, Kunisawa Amon and you came here for a graduation tour. He was a rich man and she was in need of cash. She knew he will be willing to spend money on woman like her. She was really a pretty young woman then. I did not know that she was earning money that way. If I knew all these, I won't have told her what I told her. She never came back after the night of transaction and Kunisawa Amon left the town the early morning. I was then told to collect her body from a motel near her working place."