I opened my eyes. God, what a night. I rolled over and looked at
the man sleeping next to me. I was happy. For the first time in a long
time I was actually happy. But things were far from settled. We needed to
talk.
He opened his eyes. "Hi," I said.
"Hi." He kissed me softly. "I love waking up next to you," he said and kissed me again.
I hated to ruin the moment but I couldn't stand another second with all this baggage between us. "Why did you leave me?" I asked.
He seemed startled. "What?"
"Why did you leave me?" I asked again. "You went to Africa. You just left."
He sighed. "I told you, Abby. I just needed time away. Time to think. Now I've realized that I just want to be with you. No matter what."
I shook my head. "That's not good enough, John." I said. "You hurt me."
"You hurt me," he countered. "Every time you've ever needed anything I've been there, no questions asked. I flew to Nebraska to be with you at Eric's court marshal. I came back from Belize when he was missing. And the one time, the one time, I needed you, Abby, you weren't there."
I stared at him in disbelief. "Eric needed me," I said. "I couldn't just leave him."
"But you could leave me?"
"So you were what? Punishing me?" I had climbed out of the bed and started getting dressed. Carter was sitting up.
"It's not just about you, Abby. My grandmother had just died. The only person in the world who ever loved me was dead. And you still think it's all about you."
"She's not the only person who loved you. I loved you." I was furious.
Carter kicked off the covers and pulled on his pants. "Well, you had a strange way of showing it," he said.
"And you're so much better at it then I am?" I asked.
"Yes, actually, I am. I was there for you, Abby. I didn't have to be. But I was because I loved you. Not because I felt any sort of obligation to you."
He was fully dressed and heading towards the door. I followed him. "But you left twice," I said.
"You asked for your goddamn key back," he screamed. "You ripped my heart out and then pitched a fit when I wanted to leave."
"I was angry and hurt. I wanted you to stay with me." I was on the verge of tears. "And you just wanted to get as far away from me as possible."
"I went to Africa to help people, Abby. People there need me."
"But I need you. I don't care about them!" Tears had started pouring from my eyes.
"Of course not," he said, his voice suddenly soft. "You only care about yourself." He opened the door. "I can't keep doing this, Abby," he said and walked out into the hallway.
I stood in the doorway. "You're getting good at running away," I shouted after him.
"Yeah," he said, turning around. "Almost as good as you." And then he was gone.
I know it's short but it's 10:30 at night and I wanna go to bed. REVIEW PLEASE! Yay!
He opened his eyes. "Hi," I said.
"Hi." He kissed me softly. "I love waking up next to you," he said and kissed me again.
I hated to ruin the moment but I couldn't stand another second with all this baggage between us. "Why did you leave me?" I asked.
He seemed startled. "What?"
"Why did you leave me?" I asked again. "You went to Africa. You just left."
He sighed. "I told you, Abby. I just needed time away. Time to think. Now I've realized that I just want to be with you. No matter what."
I shook my head. "That's not good enough, John." I said. "You hurt me."
"You hurt me," he countered. "Every time you've ever needed anything I've been there, no questions asked. I flew to Nebraska to be with you at Eric's court marshal. I came back from Belize when he was missing. And the one time, the one time, I needed you, Abby, you weren't there."
I stared at him in disbelief. "Eric needed me," I said. "I couldn't just leave him."
"But you could leave me?"
"So you were what? Punishing me?" I had climbed out of the bed and started getting dressed. Carter was sitting up.
"It's not just about you, Abby. My grandmother had just died. The only person in the world who ever loved me was dead. And you still think it's all about you."
"She's not the only person who loved you. I loved you." I was furious.
Carter kicked off the covers and pulled on his pants. "Well, you had a strange way of showing it," he said.
"And you're so much better at it then I am?" I asked.
"Yes, actually, I am. I was there for you, Abby. I didn't have to be. But I was because I loved you. Not because I felt any sort of obligation to you."
He was fully dressed and heading towards the door. I followed him. "But you left twice," I said.
"You asked for your goddamn key back," he screamed. "You ripped my heart out and then pitched a fit when I wanted to leave."
"I was angry and hurt. I wanted you to stay with me." I was on the verge of tears. "And you just wanted to get as far away from me as possible."
"I went to Africa to help people, Abby. People there need me."
"But I need you. I don't care about them!" Tears had started pouring from my eyes.
"Of course not," he said, his voice suddenly soft. "You only care about yourself." He opened the door. "I can't keep doing this, Abby," he said and walked out into the hallway.
I stood in the doorway. "You're getting good at running away," I shouted after him.
"Yeah," he said, turning around. "Almost as good as you." And then he was gone.
I know it's short but it's 10:30 at night and I wanna go to bed. REVIEW PLEASE! Yay!