Title: "Off-World Serenade" Author: GhostWriter 25

Email: starleet2001@yahoo.com

Spoilers: None

Rating: PG [humor]

Warnings: None

Summary: Campfire banter.

Archive: Anywhere as long as you e-mail me and let me know where.

Disclaimer: MGM/Gekko Productions own Stargate SG1 and the characters. I just moosh them around and make them talk.

*****

The camp had been set up in record time. After countless missions SG1 had become pros at setting up camp and getting dinner dished out.

Major Samantha Carter made sure all the others had been served before she settled down to eat. This was in no way one of her duties, but rather part of her maternal instinct. The men of SG1 were, for all intents and purposes, her boys.

Colonel Jack O'Neill silently let Carter take over command of the meals. He was secure in his leadership stature and tired of complaints about his choices of cuisine to allow it.

Teal'c watched over the camp at these times having already put up the tents or, in this case, created a big enough bonfire to melt the entire continent of Antarctica.

Dr. Daniel Jackson had logically placed the sleeping bags around the campfire. He was anal when it came to where everyone slept on one- nighter's like this. It was always Sam near his head, Jack across the fire and Teal'c at his feet.

They ate in silence on this night. Exhausted from a day of spelunking, reconnoitering or just plain hanging around waiting left no energy for small talk. So, when they had finished their dinner and cleaned up the area, all set about undoing sleeping bags and getting ready for sleep.

"Okay, campers." Jack bellowed. "We need to get up bright and early, so Daniel can finish his wall reading and we can get back to the SGC by noon."

"Yes, sir." Sam replied.

"Noon?" Daniel stopped scooting into his sleeping bag and sat up. "Jack, it's going to take me at least four or five more hours to finish translating those glyphs on the left wall."

"Noon, Daniel." Jack responded. "Got that?"

Daniel stared at the fire and then turned shoving himself deeper into his bag. "Yes, Dad."

Jack shot a glance toward Teal'c who returned his gaze with a one eyebrow raised expression. Is that the way Daniel wanted to play? Fine, Jack thought. He was definitely up to it.

"So, Carter," Jack directed to his second in command. "Get to sleep as soon as you can so there's no snickers or giggles when Daniel starts to sound off."

Daniel shot a wide-eyed stare at Jack. The remark caught him by surprise.

"Jack?"

"Daniel?"

Sam was burying her mouth in her sleeve, trying to hide her grin. Teal'c merely directed his attention between DanielJackson and O'Neill as they spoke.

"What are you talking about?" Daniel nervously inquired.

Jack smiled back at Daniel with a wicked grin. Teal'c now understood as he sensed the joy coming from the colonel and sheer terror from the archaeologist.

"O'Neill," Teal'c spoke up. "Are you referring to the bodily noises that emit from DanielJackson once he is asleep?"

Daniel sat up defiantly. "I have allergies, guys! Sometimes I can't breathe very well and I know I snore. Geez, so do you, Jack."

"Daniel," Sam's grin now disappeared as she looked over at him. "I'm not a schoolgirl. I wouldn't snicker at a man snoring. Give me a little credit here."

Daniel looked away from Sam toward Jack again and saw the Cheshire cat grin plastered triumphantly on the older man's face. He could feel his cheeks flushing and knew he was blushing. He hoped the flickering firelight wouldn't reveal that fact.

"I believe O'Neill is referring to the sounds from below the waist..."

"Oh, crap!" Daniel blurted out cutting Teal'c off. He could hear Sam choking back her laugh in her jacket. "I have allergies, people. Food allergies don't always just plug up my nose, or swell my eyes. Sometimes they attack the intestinal tract. I can't help it."

"It's okay, Daniel." Jack said in a patronizing tone. "I just think of them as off-world lullabies."

Sam could not hold out any longer and burst into hysterics. Daniel just glared at her.

"Not a schoolgirl, huh, Sam?" Daniel spat out as he scrunched back into his sleeping bag.

"Now," Jack continued. "Next time I give orders maybe you'll think twice about answering like the major did, or maybe even with reverent silence like Teal'c instead of the smart-ass way you did. Are we clear?"

Daniel stared up at the stars wishing he was anywhere else at the moment but there. With a sigh he replied, "Yes, sir."

"Good night all." Jack called out cheerfully as he got into his sleeping bag.

They settled down and soon there was a peaceful blanket that settled over the campsite. The fire was warm and felt good as their nostrils took in a bit of dampness in the air. There were no sounds from insects or foul. It was a quiet night on this planet. Quiet until...

[Muffled flatus]

"Sorry." Daniel's dejected voice mumbled.

"It's perfectly all right, Daniel." Jack replied. "We understand. Allergies."

"No." Daniel barked.

"No?" Jack asked.

"Not allergies." Daniel sighed. "Broccoli."

"CARTER!" Jack growled.

The only response was a giggling fit heard coming from the direction of the major.

THE END