Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Yu Yu Hakusho, Inuyasha, Christmas, cheese logs, or fruitcake.
Welcome to my first one-shot fic! Kinda strange, I know, but my main focus thus far has been on "Force of Darkness". A bit of crossover romance, a bit of OOC characters, and a WHOLE mess of holiday angst. As for pairings, this is what it comes down to. If you read my bio, you can easily find who pairs with who in this fic (just for clarification, this is my first Humor/Romance/Angst, so it will include an extremely odd pairing I want to experiment with). Near the beginning, one of the pairings will be extremely one-sided. Don't flame, please, as this is my very first fic of this kind, and it might turn out cheesy and/or corny.
Okay, as much as I hate to admit it, this is gonna suck. So don't flame me.
One more detail; this fic is very slightly AU, in the fact that the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh and Yu Yu Hakusho have known each other for a while now. And just so you know, Hiei will NOT appear in this. He isn't exactly the epitome of Christmas spirit, but, if you've read my other fic (check it out), he makes an awesome villain, no?
Christmastime in Domino
Kaiba Corporation HQ
God, I hate this time of year. Each and every time December rolls around, phone calls come in by the truckloads. Dozens of whiny, snot-nosed brats come banging at my door, screaming for presents like so many politicians. And don't get me started on the fruitcake...
These thoughts were going through the mind of one Seto Kaiba, nicknamed "Scrooge" around the office. He'd already had to fire five moronic accountants for that jeering insult.
Well, unlike my penny-pinching sleazebag namesake, I happen to spare no expense to make my company work, especially around this God-forsaken time.
Yet as his cell phone and regular phone began to ring in his elaborate office, it occurred to him that he probably should have taken the extra expense to get call block.
Oh great. Here we go again.
Every year, at the exact same time, Kaiba would get a call on all of his office phones. How the caller managed it is unknown, but Kaiba did know this much, if he simply didn't answer the phone, things would get ugly for him.
Picking up the receiver, and bracing himself for the worst, Kaiba answered.
"Kaiba Corp. head office. President and CEO speaking."
"Come now, Seto. Don't tell me you forgot me!"
"Please don't let that be you, Botan."
"BINGO!"
This exclamation caused Kaiba to fall backward out of his seat and into the filing cabinet, which was still dented from last year's collision. Getting up from his awkward position, Kaiba did the only thing he could think of: chew her out.
"So, I was thinking, could you possibly...?"
"Botan, let me make this perfectly clear. Every Christmas, you invite me to some lousy party at the Kame Game Shop with Yugi and his third-rate compatriots. Of course, considering the fact that during that time you threatened to have me executed, I simply HAD to comply with your ridiculous request. Not this time, you freak of nature."
"Excuse me?"
" I guess you are as simple as I had previously thought. So, let me be as blunt as I can. SCREW YOU, BOTAN! FOR ALL I CARE, YOU CAN TAKE THAT PARTY AND FIND SOME OTHER PATHETIC LOSER TO GO!
"YOU MAY SEEM TO LIKE THIS AWFUL TRADITION TO WHICH YOU HAVE ACCUSTOMED YOURSELF TO, BUT I DESPISE IT WITH EVERY FIBER IN MY BEING! SO YOU KNOW WHAT?! YOU CAN FLY ABOUT THE TOWN ON THAT GODDAMN OAR OF YOURS ALL YOU WANT, BUT I AM NOT COMING AND I NEVER WILL! SO NEVER CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME?! NEVER AGAIN!"
Silence.
Kaiba was just about to hang up when the person on the other line responded.
"So...you never want to hear from me again?" Her voice cracked as she said this.
"BINGO!"
As Kaiba slammed the receiver down, he left two things behind: a shattered Botan... and a huge, gaping hole in his heart...
Kame Game Shop
Christmas is, under normal circumstances, a joyous holiday for all that celebrate it, a time of peace and happiness; a time to look at one's life and try to better oneself. It is, for most, a time to look forward to.
Well, everyone except Kazuma Kuwabara, Tristan Taylor, Tea Gardener, and a Youkai by the name of Inuyasha.
Whining as usual about his costume and the role he had to play, Kuwabara sat down at the table, wearing a cheap suit and obviously fabricated beard, while Tristan did not say a word. He couldn't say anything even if he wanted to; being dressed up as a toddler, pacifier and all, can have that effect on you. Tea, meanwhile, was costumed in a gaudy apron and fifties dress.
As for Inuyasha... well, let's just say the jolly guy in the red suit might be a little cranky this year.
Once again, the four friends were forced, under pain of watching a marathon of "A Christmas Story" on TBS, to do this ridiculous, humiliating and utterly stupid skit...in front of all their peers, of course.
Who should come in, of course, than Yugi Mouto and several other compatriots: mainly Yusuke Urameshi, Joey Wheeler, Kagome, and of course, Serenity Wheeler, to Tristan's horror.
Yusuke, as in the tradition, was the first to comment...and what a comment it was.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Kuwabaka! How's the suit fit you...PA?"
As can be expected, Kuwabara was royally pissed off.
"SHUT YER TRAP, URAMESHI! AT LEAST I DIDN'T HAVE TO PARADE THROUGH CITY HALL WEARING A PINK DRESS!"
Joey, who had been listening to this conversation the whole time, also began to crack up.
"What happened, Yusuke? Ya lose a bet?! AHAHAHAHA!"
"You're one to talk, Joey! Or did you forget the last time you lost a bet, dog boy?!
"DOG BOY?! ALRIGHT, THAT TEARS IT!"
As Yusuke and Joey began fighting, Yugi made a mental note: next time, ditch the suit.
Slowly but surely, Yami woke up in his soul room inside the Millennium Puzzle. Of course, considering that this was his first Christmas, he looked on the absurd scene with bewilderment and a level of good humor. Having lived with Yugi for about ten months now, he had seen some weird and peculiar antics from all of Yugi's friends, yet this was one of the most ridiculous stunts he had ever seen.
*Yugi, could you perhaps explain WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!*
*Well, Yami, every year, me and the gang celebrate Christmas. Also every year, we get to see four of our friends dress up for a family photo. Of course, they always end up looking ridiculous...*
"Oh, Yugi..."
Tea, who had long since finished her part in this photo, was standing apart from the stage, wielding what looked very much like a bag of cheese log parts.
Sweatdropping in a level of intimidation, Yugi also prepared for another part of Christmas in Domino: the pummeling of the cheese logs.
Twenty minutes and a flurry of provolone and Swiss later, nearly everyone in the entire room was covered in cheese. As can be expected, Tea made the first comment.
"Man, now that was a cheese fight."
Slowly, all the other participants got up as well. Yusuke, Joey, and Yugi were plastered in the stuff, Serenity was crawling up from under the table under which she had hid for most of the time, Tristan was hanging by his spike hair from the ceiling after being found in a...compromising position with Joey's sister, Kagome had long since fled, and Inuyasha and Kuwabara were lying in a fetal position, both muttering something about "killer Roquefort".
Suddenly, a strong smell of liquor permeated the air; none of the windows were open, yet they could still smell it, as it overpowered every sense of smell in the room.
Before Yami could ask about the situation, Yugi cleared it up. "The Christmas vodka. Botan must be in town."
You see, every Christmastime, Botan would call up Kaiba to invite him to a party. As can be expected, Kaiba would instantly refuse, and the minor divinity of death would get drunk out of her skull on hard liquor. Why this affected her so is anyone's guess, yet many would surmise that she was trying to drown out her problems.
To put it shortly, Botan was lovesick.
The latter burst into the game shop, two bottles in hand, and a very strong smell on her otherwise decent breath.
Tea, as per usual, was the first to respond.
"Botan...?"
Yusuke, however, did not believe in subtlety.
"What the heck are you doing?! I thought I told you to lay off that stuff! You're gonna get yourself killed one of these days!"
"Uh, Yusuke," whispered Joey in an undertone, "she...uh... can't technically die."
Joey was about to experience firsthand what getting intoxicated can do to a person.
"Shut up, Wheeler! Do you think I don't know that?! Do you think I like getting drunk every...single...year?! But most of all, do you have any idea of what my problem actually IS?!"
Joey was instantly silenced. However, Botan continued her rant.
"How do you think I feel, crawling into a goddamn bottle every, single, fricken' time you get rejected?! Well, for your information, Wheeler, I do not give a damn! You here me? I...DON'T...GIVE...A...DAMN!"
Suddenly, the drunkard pulled out an extra large bottle of undiluted port wine from her pack.
"NO!"
Yugi and Tea both tried to knock the bottle out of her hand, but they were too late...
"Mr. Kaiba?"
Seto Kaiba, who had been staring at an old photo for quite a while now, was startled by his secretary's announcement.
"Y...Yes? What is it this time?"
"Well, sir, there is a Yugi Mouto on line 3. He says it's urgent that you come to his place of residence immediately."
Kaiba, already in an unpleasant mood thanks to the earlier phone call, was not very pleased with this turn of events.
"Well, tell him that I am not coming. The last thing I need right now is to visit Yugi and his useless cohorts. Tell him to hang up."
"Sir, according to this Yugi, someone got VERY drunk at his place of residence. Chugged a whole bottle of port wine, sir. Went comatose right after."
This news caused a tiny shock in Kaiba. "Did he say who got drunk?"
"I didn't catch the name that well. Botu, or something like that."
Oh dear God...
"Cancel all of my appointments, Westely. I think I might pay them a little visit."
"Okay, Yugi, how long has she been like this?"
Kaiba, in a state of utter horror, stood looking at the catatonic Botan.
"About an hour. The doctor who came here earlier wasn't able to do anything at all. I guess the only thing we can do is hope for the best."
"Thank you, Yugi. You know, as much as I hate to admit it, you really are quite a respectable fellow. By the way, my company has begun production of Duel Monsters cards, and this was the first made, so I want you to have it." And with that, Kaiba handed Yugi a small parcel.
"Thanks, Kaiba. We'll just leave you alone for a second."
Yugi, once in the living room, opened the present. In the box was a single Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
Kaiba had been sitting near the bed for about an hour. Thus far, no apparent change in consciousness had occurred.
As he stroked Botan's forehead, Kaiba began thinking deeply about their relationship.
It never does cease to amaze me. You literally walked on a path of self-destruction your entire life, always serving some pathetic leader, when it was YOU that should have been leading. Every day of your life was an unhappy one, and I was responsible for that in nearly every way.
All you wanted to do was spend time with me. Everybody wants to be on my payroll, that much is certain. Yet it was you that wanted to get to know me; you didn't give a damn about my cold outer personage, my wealth, or my power. What you wanted was me. If only I hadn't been so stupid, none of this would have happened.
I should have realized from the very beginning that you wanted the best for me and Mokuba. Now that I think of it, ALL of them wanted the best for me. Yugi, Joey, Yusuke, even Inuyasha.
I guess it's too late now. I guess it's just...too...late...
Most wouldn't believe it; heck, some even wouldn't want to believe it, but it was true. Seto Kaiba, ruthless businessman, powerful duelist, and CEO of a company, was sobbing uncontrollably.
Unknowingly, Kaiba had begun to think out loud at this point. So it is only fitting that just as he spoke his deepest feelings, Botan awoke.
"I guess, it took my all this time to realize that...I love you."
Botan, thus far out cold, leapt up and took Kaiba into an embrace.
"Do you really mean it?"
For the first time in quite a while, Kaiba smiled, and uttered but one word.
"Bingo."
Alright, I admit that sucked. But if you think otherwise, send me a REVIEW.
If not, don't flame me.
Until next time, you've been reading Noble Paladin.