I had been running for seventeen months, now.
My hands shook involuntarily in front of me, though I willed them to stop. I shook my head, trying to clear the dizziness that was overtaking me. My eyes were bloodshot, my head was spinning, and my body was shaking, and there was nothing I could do about any of it now.
It wasn't the way that I wanted it to be; nobody wants to be addicted. I bit my knuckles, trying to find a way to stop the ringing in my head. Pain had brought me back before; maybe it would now.
The red scratches on my arms were not new. They had been there since my last high, two days ago. They had bled when I created them, but now they were healing slowly, dark red scratches on my otherwise pale skin.
I stopped shaking, the more violent stage of the Mako high over. I shook once.twice, and fell over.
Fell over and dreamed.
"Cloud?"
I looked over at Tifa, sitting beside me, her dark hair falling over her shoulders. The room was dark behind her, rain pattering outside. It was her room, in Nibelheim, the lightning illuminating aspects that I had almost forgotten; the wardrobe, the piano.
I sat up," Yeah?"
She continued to stare at me with her dark, yet luminous eyes. I heard thunder and the wind outside, swaying the branches of the tree I used to climb. So many memories, here.here in the Nibelheim that burned.
Tifa took my hand softly, her well-cured fingernails dragging lightly over my palm.
"What would you do if Sephiroth ever came back?"
The sound of the rain and the thunder and the wind and her breathing was all gone now. Just my heartbeat now, sullen and methodical.
"Why do you ask?"
Tifa looked down.
"Because it may happen sooner than you think."
The sound came back.
I rocked back and forth, beads of sweat forming on my forehead as I tried to calm my nerves. My teeth chattered from the cold that I did not notice around me as I huddled beneath the overhead track. A train clanked on overhead, dulling out the sound of my incoherent muttering.
A streetlight flickered nearby, startling me. I looked toward it, my pupils fully dilated. I glared at it for a moment then stared back at my knees and rocked, back and forth.
He would come back. He wasn't gone. He wasn't gone. Nope. No. Oh god, oh god, ohgodohgodohgod..he was going to come back and take me. He was going to kill me. Kill me and kill Tifa and all the others. He would kill Marlene too. Poor Marlene, just a kid, just a kid.
Stop. Stop, I had to get a hold of myself. I couldn't let it go on like this. I had to stop this and find Tifa. She could help me.
I was in the...what was it? The fourth district? That was it, that was what it had said on the card on the ticket. That was where Tifa was. I found her before, all I had to do was find her again.
I grabbed two handfuls of my hair and sank to the ground, shivering in the cold. I didn't notice the snow on the ground and the cold on my skin as I lay whimpering in the snow. She had found me before. She could find me again.
I scratched at my face, begging for the ringing to stop. I just wanted the damn ringing to stop.
Think Cloud.think. You're in the...the fourth district. One of the last districts of Midgar, and Tifa lives here. If you get to her, you'll be safe. She keep you safe and take care of you and you'll be okay with her.
Get to Tifa.
I got to my knees, digging in the snow for leverage. My fingernails were bleeding from the Mako. Too much Mako. My eyes were probably bleeding too. Slowly, I got to my legs and tried to walk.
I stayed up, and made my way though the softly falling snow down the street.
A car whizzed past me, nearly missing me. I cried out and fell to the ground, crying. I balled my hands into fists and beat at my head. It wasn't going to work. I was never going to see Tifa. I was going to die.
"Cloud?"
I opened my eyes and looked up.
There she was, standing in the snow, her hair blowing in the wind, head tilted to the side and smiling softly. A flower basket was draped over one arm as she walked towards me.
I smiled and sat up; Aeris.
Someone shook my shoulders.
"My God, what happened to you?!" My eyes cleared; not Aeris, but Tifa, shaking me, and looking me over.
"Tifa?" I asked weakly.
She knelt down beside me," I'm here Cloud. What happened? Who did this to you"
I raised my right arm, showing her the bare inside, bruised and dotted with track marks. At her sharp intake of breath, I said," I need your help."
Then, I fell back in the snow and went to sleep.
My hands shook involuntarily in front of me, though I willed them to stop. I shook my head, trying to clear the dizziness that was overtaking me. My eyes were bloodshot, my head was spinning, and my body was shaking, and there was nothing I could do about any of it now.
It wasn't the way that I wanted it to be; nobody wants to be addicted. I bit my knuckles, trying to find a way to stop the ringing in my head. Pain had brought me back before; maybe it would now.
The red scratches on my arms were not new. They had been there since my last high, two days ago. They had bled when I created them, but now they were healing slowly, dark red scratches on my otherwise pale skin.
I stopped shaking, the more violent stage of the Mako high over. I shook once.twice, and fell over.
Fell over and dreamed.
"Cloud?"
I looked over at Tifa, sitting beside me, her dark hair falling over her shoulders. The room was dark behind her, rain pattering outside. It was her room, in Nibelheim, the lightning illuminating aspects that I had almost forgotten; the wardrobe, the piano.
I sat up," Yeah?"
She continued to stare at me with her dark, yet luminous eyes. I heard thunder and the wind outside, swaying the branches of the tree I used to climb. So many memories, here.here in the Nibelheim that burned.
Tifa took my hand softly, her well-cured fingernails dragging lightly over my palm.
"What would you do if Sephiroth ever came back?"
The sound of the rain and the thunder and the wind and her breathing was all gone now. Just my heartbeat now, sullen and methodical.
"Why do you ask?"
Tifa looked down.
"Because it may happen sooner than you think."
The sound came back.
I rocked back and forth, beads of sweat forming on my forehead as I tried to calm my nerves. My teeth chattered from the cold that I did not notice around me as I huddled beneath the overhead track. A train clanked on overhead, dulling out the sound of my incoherent muttering.
A streetlight flickered nearby, startling me. I looked toward it, my pupils fully dilated. I glared at it for a moment then stared back at my knees and rocked, back and forth.
He would come back. He wasn't gone. He wasn't gone. Nope. No. Oh god, oh god, ohgodohgodohgod..he was going to come back and take me. He was going to kill me. Kill me and kill Tifa and all the others. He would kill Marlene too. Poor Marlene, just a kid, just a kid.
Stop. Stop, I had to get a hold of myself. I couldn't let it go on like this. I had to stop this and find Tifa. She could help me.
I was in the...what was it? The fourth district? That was it, that was what it had said on the card on the ticket. That was where Tifa was. I found her before, all I had to do was find her again.
I grabbed two handfuls of my hair and sank to the ground, shivering in the cold. I didn't notice the snow on the ground and the cold on my skin as I lay whimpering in the snow. She had found me before. She could find me again.
I scratched at my face, begging for the ringing to stop. I just wanted the damn ringing to stop.
Think Cloud.think. You're in the...the fourth district. One of the last districts of Midgar, and Tifa lives here. If you get to her, you'll be safe. She keep you safe and take care of you and you'll be okay with her.
Get to Tifa.
I got to my knees, digging in the snow for leverage. My fingernails were bleeding from the Mako. Too much Mako. My eyes were probably bleeding too. Slowly, I got to my legs and tried to walk.
I stayed up, and made my way though the softly falling snow down the street.
A car whizzed past me, nearly missing me. I cried out and fell to the ground, crying. I balled my hands into fists and beat at my head. It wasn't going to work. I was never going to see Tifa. I was going to die.
"Cloud?"
I opened my eyes and looked up.
There she was, standing in the snow, her hair blowing in the wind, head tilted to the side and smiling softly. A flower basket was draped over one arm as she walked towards me.
I smiled and sat up; Aeris.
Someone shook my shoulders.
"My God, what happened to you?!" My eyes cleared; not Aeris, but Tifa, shaking me, and looking me over.
"Tifa?" I asked weakly.
She knelt down beside me," I'm here Cloud. What happened? Who did this to you"
I raised my right arm, showing her the bare inside, bruised and dotted with track marks. At her sharp intake of breath, I said," I need your help."
Then, I fell back in the snow and went to sleep.