Praetor
Chapter 8
Rating: not R per se but as it is a controversial pairing, it will remain so
Disclaimer: The characters of J'onn J'onnz and Diana are properties of their creators and DC Comics.
Thank you so much for the reviews of the last chapter, I hope this latest one lives up to whatever you were expecting.
Against LoveHence, Cupid! with your cheating toys,
Your real griefs, and painted joys,
Your pleasure which itself destroys.
Lovers, like men in fevers, burn and rave
And only what will injure them do crave.
Men's weakness makes Love so severe
They give him power by their fear
And make the shackles which they wear.
Who to another does his heart submit
Makes his own idol, and then worships it.
Him whose heart is all his own
Peace and liberty does crown;
He apprehends no killing frown,
He feels no raptures which are joys diseased,
And is not much transported, but still pleased.
― Katherine Philips (1631-1664)
Sleep did not come to Diana that night, her waking spent watching her friend and mulling over what had been discovered this strange journey. There was no helping the wish that she had known these things sooner, would that she had, it might not have driven him to the brink of death. He might have been more open to asking for help, to asking someone to accompany him.
And she thought of the letters, how much disbelief she felt then and still did upon reading, disbelief that it really happened, that he truly loved her. She could not believe it; it was almost beyond her comprehension that someone as… as singularly distinctive as J'onn could have fallen in love with her.
He loves me…
Why did he never tell her? Because it would destroy their friendship? He should have known it would never have destroyed their friendship, there was no force in the universe that could. Their friendship ran deeper than that and would not be easily destroyed.
But he loves her, a thing that ran even deeper than friendship, was greater than friendship, but her mind was having trouble grasping the concept that the stoic, silent Martian had fallen in love with her. It came so out of nowhere, she never suspected, she never noticed that he would feel this way. He had always treated her with the utmost respect and kindness; he was the best― no, the greatest― friend she could ever hope to have and somehow he had fallen in love with her.
But could she love him? Could she cast aside her fear of the unknown and love him?
Quite possibly… yes. She could fairly easily picture herself falling in love with the handsome Martian and being very happy with him. He was everything she could ever want in a man, what any woman would want in a man, kind, compassionate, caring, he actually listened to her when they talked, and he never treated her like he didn't think she could do the job because she was a woman as nearly everyone else― even Clark― had at some point in time. She cared for him greatly and respected him as much as he respected her. As her mind wandered over this, she realized the seeds were already there for something deeper but had never recognized it before.
They were able to talk for hours on end about nearly everything without either resorting to teasing and, unlike every other man she had talked with, he never lapsed into flirtation and he never made her feel uncomfortable. She could talk with J'onn in a way she never can with the others. Being in love would not be that great a step for either of them all things considered.
Could she take that blind leap of faith though?
There was no one else in her life despite what the world seemed to think about her and Superman. Clark was married for Hera's sake, not to mention completely and totally devoted to Lois and he had become something like a brother to her over the years. There could never be anything between the two of them, it was as outrageous as the notion some had about Batman and her. He was too dark and serious all the time and too grimly focused on his work to even be a candidate. Besides that, he may or may not have something brewing with Catwoman, or Talia, or someone she had no idea about or even more than one of them; not something one looks for in a love interest. Arthur was married. Wally and Kyle were much too young for her.
And J'onn was just… J'onn. Silent, solitary, always there for her when she needed him, grief stricken, always alone in the world, but he didn't have to be. He was lonely but didn't have to remain so. The League was there for him. She was there for him. Always.
Diana did not doubt what he wrote, she never doubted what he said and knew he could not joke about something like love. But could she love him? He was her friend like the rest of the League but she never thought of him as a brother. Often, she thought of him as something more, he was someone she could talk too, someone who could make her laugh when she needed it, listened to her when she ranted, and comforted her when she felt downhearted. Could she think of him as a lover? They were great friends, as close as friends could be, was love out of the question? No, love was never out of the question. She already loved him in a way, had always loved him. She recognized that now. If only she knew earlier.
She loved him. The startling, sobering, exhilarating realization stilled all else in her mind and caused her to gaze at his still form in the firelight and gray glow of pre-dawn.
Oh gods… I love him.
For long moments she just watched him sleep and watched the light dance over his strong features, now relaxed in sleep to give him a more boyish appearance. His deep, even breathing lulled her to near slumber, and she awoke with a start when she began to nod off the chair. She needed to rest but did not want to sleep on the filthy, dirt floor. The bed was large enough, barely, for two people but she was unsure if she should lay down with him, afraid he might wake up before her. She didn't want to shock him into a coma. However, she didn't have much choice and could only hope she was up and about before him.
End chapter 8.
Sorry it took so long to come out with this but I needed input on the last chapter to know if this one would be welcome. Hopefully it will be.
Let me know how it went, please.