A/n- Another Sirius/Remus SLASH story about how they hook up after Sirius tells Snape Remmie's secret. And it also has dear Remmie singing a song, for Sirius. Bit angsty, but not as much as "When I See You Smile" which is complete. The song is My Last Breath by Evanescence. Enjoy!
If you do not like SLASH this is your last warning. Go away, don't flame me, I will make fun of you if you flame only because this is slash. If you flame me because of any other reason (you think evanescence sucks, you don't like Remus, your chicken died last week, ect.) I won't care.
"…" talking
/…/ thinking
[…] who's singing in the song
~…~ writing
Disclaimer- I own nothing. Harry Potter and Evanescence are not mine… no matter how many times I wish for them when I blow my candles out.
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Sirius stood at the back of the crowded Great Hall, leaning against the wall. He was trying to not be noticed, and had his hood up so that no girls would start giggling at him. Bloody annoying that was.
Really, he didn't know why he was here. Of course he knew why, but he didn't know what possessed him to come to this little talent show that happened once a month in the Great Hall. Just because some groupie of his wanted to try and seduce him tonight he decided to come… He looked down at the piece of parchment in his hand.
~You must come to the performance tonight Sirius. I'm singing with Lily Evans and I want you to hear the song. I wrote it myself you know, thinking of you. I have something to tell you, I want you to meet me somewhere tonight. The trick is you have to find the clue in the song to where to find me. I'll wait all night for you. If not tonight then I'll be there the next, and the one after that, until you come.~
There was no signature and the only clue as to which person it would be is that they were singing with Lily. That had to be someone who was not talking to him right now, considering all of Lily's friends avoided him. That may have been what brought him here tonight… or the fact that the handwriting looked familiar.
He clapped half-heartedly as the first year gymnastics stepped off the stage. A fellow Gryffindor, a year older than him, Frank Longbottom announced that they would be having two 6th years sing for them next. This caught Sirius attention and he watched the closed curtains for a clue as to who sent him this note.
He didn't have to wait long for the curtains to rise, and behind them showed Lily Evans and Remus Lupin next to muggle microphones. Sirius heard a few Slytherins whisper comments about the 'mudblood' and his anger grew, but it was nothing compared to the pain when he saw Remus.
No more than a month and a half ago Sirius had told Snape how to find Remus on his full moon, and Snape probably wouldn't be standing somewhere in front of him making fun of Remus if it hadn't been for James pulling him out of the way before Remus had a chance to kill him. Sirius had tried to say he was sorry, but Remus refused to listen.
Remus couldn't have sent him the note though, Remus hated Sirius now, didn't he? Sirius knew for sure that it had been Remus who had sent it. The handwriting, the fact that he was singing with James' redheaded girlfriend, the fact that he wrote the song that was starting himself, and making Sirius figure out where to find him rather than telling him. But was Sirius seeing things when he read that Remus was thinking of him? Was that good?
Before he could talk himself into leaving, Remus started singing:
"[Remus]
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid ooh
[Lily]
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
[Remus]
I'll miss the winter
[Lily & Remus]
A world of fragile things
[Remus]
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree
[Lily]
(come find me)
[Remus]
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears!
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
[Lily]
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
[Remus]
Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me calling me as you fade to black
[overlap]
[Remus]
Say goodnight
[Lily]
(holding my last breath)
[Remus]
Don't be afraid
[Lily]
(Safe inside myself)
[Remus]
Calling me
[Lily]
(Are all my thoughts of you)
[Remus]
Calling me
[Lily and Remus]
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
[Remus]
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight…"
Deafening applause was all the grinning singers could hear as they walked off stage and outside to cool off in the bitter December wind. Sirius walked out the door next to him, and made sure his hood was up as he walked outside to think, wiping stray tears off his cheeks hastily.
/How am I supposed to figure that out? I have no clue where to find Remmie… one part said 'come find me' but what did it say before that?/
He quietly hummed the song and tried to remember the words. He really was listening, and he wanted to hear what Remus had to say, but for the life of him he couldn't remember the lyrics. He walked and sat at the base of an oak tree the Marauders had claimed as theirs and tried to think, looking around him at the forest white with snow.
/White forest! That's what it said before 'come find me'… but something's missing between there. I know bloody well he doesn't want to meet me in the Forbidden Forest…/
Sirius thoughts went to the line before that. 'I'll miss the winter, a world of fragile things,' Sirius could remember the day Remus had gotten that from. It was something Sirius had told Remus last winter, when spring was coming.
They were the only two Marauders at school for Christmas and they were sitting here, at the same tree, talking. Remus had gotten the rare treat of seeing a sensitive Padfoot, he being the first one besides Sirius himself to see that side of the young Animagus. Sirius had said winter was his favorite season, how everything was so calm and still, and looked so fragile.
/Look for me in the white forest, hiding in a hollow tree… hollow tree? The only two trees we ever go near are this one and the Whomping Willow. This one isn't hollow-/ Sirius knocked on the wood behind him to make sure /-and the Whomping Willow- The Whomping Willow! It's hollow for the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack!/
Sirius ran to the tree and after pacing a few times out of reach of the branches, he pressed a stick to the knot and- ran into something. He flew back against a wall, as did the other person, who moaned in pain.
"Sorry." Sirius said.
"Bloody hell Sirius, that hurt." Remus' voice came from in front of Sirius. Sirius stood up and helped Remus up quickly. Remus brushed himself off and then looked at the ground with a small smile, "I knew you'd figure it out Sirius, " He looked up, "I knew you were smarter than James says."
"Why'd you want me to figure it out? I mean-"
"Not here Sirius, come on," He held out his hand for Sirius, who took it immediately and they walked to the Shrieking Shack. Sirius couldn't help but notice how right it felt, having Remus' hand in his as he led him to the Shack, no matter how freezing the werewolves' hands were.
They entered the dirty house, and Sirius found it hard to believe that it was probably colder in the house than it was outside. He shook the thought off with a shiver and followed Remus to one of the rooms upstairs, where the boys hardly ever went.
Remus sat him down on the low bed, and kneeled in front of him. Remus rested his elbows on Sirius' knees, and held both Sirius' hands, looking down.
"I have to say something Sirius. I want you to listen to me until I get it all out, all right?" He looked up and Sirius nodded, pleasantly shocked that the amber haired boy was playing with his hands while he tried to find the words.
"I'm sorry Sirius- don't say I have nothing to be sorry for, because I do, " He sighed heavily, but kept his eyes locked on Sirius', "When… when you told Snape… I thought that you were… were trying to get back at me for something… I thought that you had found out the only secret that I have been able to keep from you, James, and Peter. I assumed that if you had found out, you thought it gross and wanted to make me feel bad for it. But I know that's not the case… and I know I'm not making any sense." Remus smiled and continued.
"So I'm sorry, for thinking you were just trying to get revenge for something. I know now that it was your temper, and only your temper that let my secret slip, and I forgive you for it. But I also have to say I'm sorry…" Remus looked away, "For reading your journal."
"You what?"
"Please don't be mad at me Sirius, I couldn't live with that, let me finish before your run off, since I know you want to right about now."
Sirius was beginning to think that his friend was part Seer. When Remus sang that song he knew Sirius would cry, the lyrics said something about it, and now this. Sirius nodded, telling him to continue.
"You were looking depressed to me. I wanted to know what you were thinking… if me telling you to stay away hurt you. I know that you just ran away from home and you needed us. Leftover anger at your mother was what caused you to loose your temper I guess… but I'm getting off track. The thing is I wanted to know why you did it. So I read your journal. Every word, everything, and I know how sorry you are."
When Sirius' voice decided to work again, he asked, "You read all of it?"
"Yes," Remus whispered, then looked up again, "All of it."
"Then… why are you here? I mean wouldn't you be grossed out-"
"I thought you'd be grossed out if you found out my other secret, Sirius… haven't you guessed it yet?"
Remus looked at him expectantly, still playing with Sirius' hands. Sirius took one of his hands from Remus' grasp and cupped Remus' cheek, pink from cold, with it. Remus closed his eyes as he moved into the gentle touch. "Are you saying you… you feel the same?"
"Yes." Remus whispered, and started shivering from the combination of the cold and other things. Sirius picked Remus up under the arms and the werewolf sat straddling his friend.
"How long've you been out here Moony? You're freezing."
"Since the end of the song… maybe you could help me warm up." Remus said quietly, a shy smile on his lips.
"You're beautiful, you know that Remus?" Sirius said with a smile on his lips as he breathed the words into Remus' ear.
He was the only thing keeping Remus from falling backwards onto the floor, and he moved his hands up to Remus' neck as he kissed his way to Remus' soft lips, meeting them with a gentle kiss.
It wasn't long before Remus' shivers from cold were gone, and shivers of delight filled his body.
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FIN
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A/n- May be a continuation, if I do write one it will probably only be one chapter. But right now this is done, and I don't have plans of continuing it. But it can be… if I get bored. I thought of this this morning and I wrote it in about 45 minutes, so excuse any typos and the inconsistency of it. It hasn't been running through my head for days.
Please review and make this author's day brighter!
:~*~:silver-sunn101:~*~: