By Alarun
Part I, in which our main character inadvertently overdoses on an experimental potion and unfortunate happenenses ensue. Yes, I know happenenses isn't a word. I invented it.
Warning: May have come into contact with glue.
Disclaimer: Me no owny!
Note: This isn't a part of my other universe, contained within The Fifth Marauder. Snape is most definitely a Slytherin in this, and Sirius Black most definitely hates his guts.
* * *
Severus Snape attempted in vain to extract his spoon from the small cauldron of boiling goo. Goo wasn't exactly its scientific name, but it didn't have one yet. Severus Snape had just invented a potion.
The third year thoughtfully chewed on his lower lip, releasing the wooden spoon. It stood straight up. Maybe if he put in some snail-slime extract as a substitute, it would soften up …
…but then again, how was he going to stir the snail-slime in?
Odd, that the bubbles could manage to make their way through the dense white mass of …goo...whereas something that consisted of solid matter---such as the spoon---couldn't be moved with all of his strength. Odder.
Odder, indeed.
Sev pulled with one last attempt at removing the spoon from the boiling brew. He seemed to have beaten the suction as it made a gross squelching noise and flew upwards at an alarming speed. The spoon flew high enough for it to touch the potions classroom's vaulted ceiling. And it didn't come back down.
He looked up, prepared to duck out of the way in case it really was coming back. It was hanging vertically from the ceiling, the part of the spoon that was covered in thick white potion stuck to a beam. He hummed.
Perhaps a redo was in order.
* * *
Several days later, Severus Snape (with a new spoon filched from the kitchen) stood back and grinned triumphantly at his latest attempt at adding snail slime. He smirked, putting his wand back into his school robe pocket and stirring the liquefied white potion.
Carefully avoiding a glance toward the ceiling (where the original spoon remained vertically plastered to a cherry-colored beam), Severus moved about the laboratory exchanging random ingredients. When he returned to his table containing the boiling concoction, he carefully set the corked jars and bottles aside and began mincing a handful of mint.
He sliced the side of his finger open while jumping in surprise as an explosion racked the classroom. Sirius Black stood in the doorway with his light brown wand held up in the standard dueling position, a pure murderous look glazing his eyes. His hair was disheveled and striped green and silver, thanks to a potion Severus had found in his Christmas present from his parents, a large book called Best Potions for Practical Jokes, brewed, and secretly fed the Gryffindor.
"I'm going to kill you!" Sirius Black yelled angrily as Severus moved protectively away from his progressing potion, knowing that it would be destroyed if the Gryffindor threw a curse at it. He was too slow reaching for his wand, however, when Black threw a random curse in his direction and he was forced to duck, watching it sail over his head.
"Really, Black, I'd thought you had more sense than to throw random curses in a potions lab!" Severus jumped to his feet, avoiding another burst of magic, while throwing one of his own.
It hit the Gryffindor smack in the chest, knocking him back against the wall; his wand arm flew to the side, his own curse off course. The spell flew toward the Slytherin's cauldron, knocking it off of the table.
Severus saw it all in slow motion, while attempting to scout a safe area to protect him from both the flying experimental potion and the angry Gryffindor. He was unable to find a safe place, however, as the cauldron hit the rafter containing the spoon and exploded into a raining shower of white potion. Neither of them could avoid it.
He ran toward Black, snarling, intent on strangling the life out of him with his bare hands.
Headmaster Dumbledore stepped into the laboratory to see two boys grappling, both of them covered in goo.
Albus sighed as he looked down at them, Severus Snape's thin hands wrapped around Sirius Black's neck, Sirius Black attempting to kick the Slytherin's side.
The Headmaster reached down to the boys, grabbing the backs of their robes and trying to pull them away from each other. The problem was that they wouldn't come apart.
Sirius Black's leg was attached to the side of Severus Snape's waist, just below his ribs, and Severus Snape's hands couldn't release the Gryffindor's neck.
Oh dear.
And Albus couldn't remove his hands from the students' robe collars.
It seemed they were stuck together.
To Be Continued, Methinks…
What'd'ya think?