Adhere's the Problem
Part three, which contains violent twitching, sideways hopping, cutting off the Headmaster on multiple occasions, and ample hair-pulling for everyone.
Professor Flitwick clapped enthusiastically at his Slytherin students' mastery of the Leviosa charm, standing up on the Head table so he could see better.
"All right, that's ---Madame Pomfrey!" Headmaster Dumbledore cut himself off as he watched the nurse sprint by him in a vain attempt to subdue the Slytherins and Gryffindors.
She skidded to a sudden halt and backtracked ten or so feet to stand in front of the Headmaster. "Headmaster Dumbledore! Do something about this!" Madame Pomfrey hesitated as she finally noticed the white substance that covered the two students and the lack of the Good Humor Twinkle usually sported by the professor. "Headmaster …Oh, Dear …is everything all right?"
"Madame Pomfrey, our young potions prodigy has outdone himself. Would you mind seeing us in the Hospital ---?"
"Oh, of course, Albus, of course!" Then, against all common sense or unspoken warnings that may have issued forth from the three victims of the new potion, Madame Pomfrey reached out and attempted to pat Sirius Black on the head.
Her encouraging remark choked itself back before it began as she realized she couldn't remove her hand.
Sirius shrieked as she pulled on his green and silver hair.
Snape did his best to keep the laughter inside as the Headmaster's hand tightened threateningly on the back of his neck.
"Oh, Severus, there's a beetle in your hair …" Madame Pomfrey, though a brilliant mediwitch, was slightly lacking in the ways of common sense.
"NO!"
Sirius exploded into hysterical laughter as the mediwitch attempted in vain to remove her hand from both the beetle and Severus Snape's head.
Snape twitched violently as the beetle's feet began a ticklish pacing under Madame Pomfrey's carefully cupped hand.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions …" Another twitch.
"Something wrong, Snapey?" Sirius's grin was pure menace. He knew what was wrong.
"Let's owl St. Mungo's," Madame Pomfrey suggested.
* * *
They declined assistance from Professor McGonagall, knowing that every available adult and prefect would be needed to sort out The Chaos of Lunch.
And so, awkwardly, the four made their way to the Headmaster's office so they could script out a letter for aid.
Only after attempting to pick up a quill, Headmaster Dumbledore insisted that Sirius write the letter, the Gryffindor student happening to be the only one with free hands.
It took four drafts to get the letter written. Sirius had to cross out and re-cross out words that he continuously spelled wrong, and Headmaster Dumbledore wouldn't let a student at Hogwarts send something so poorly written.
"It's Black, they wouldn't think anything of it. Just have him sign his name." Snape twitched and snapped his teeth shut as both Sirius attempted to push him over with the leg that was attached to him, and the beetle began tap-dancing.
"Mr. Snape, that attitude is exactly what got us into this trouble. Now, if you don't---" Snape cut off the Headmaster.
"It is not what got us into this trouble, Headmaster! It's all his fault! He killed my potion!" The stilled hands resumed choking the Gryffindor, causing Sirius to spasm and scratch a thick black line over the nearly finished letter.
"Mr. Snape! Cease your attack immediately!"
"No!"
"…Can't …b-breathe ...!"
"Oh, for the love of …"
"Stop complaining, Black, it'll all be over shortly!"
"Stop, stop, STOP!"
The four wavered as one, like a giant tree that had just been buffeted by a great hurricane. They swayed one way, and then the other …and then fell into a heap on the ground.
"What ingredients, exactly, did you combine for this potion, Mr. Snape?"
To Be Continued …