Part 14.


"What are we supposed to say?," Max asked, after Jimmy left, "I don't think there is anything left."

"Max, I didn't mean what I said," he offered, "I know how freaked you are about being a mom, and it was a low blow. You're going to be great."

Max shook her head, "No . . . If I was going to be any good at this I would be more into this domestic thing. I'd have married you two months ago, bought the house you wanted, and maybe even decorated a nursery. You're right. I'm not cut out for this."

"Yes you are," he insisted, "I shouldn't have pressured you as much as I did. I knew you'd react like this. I'm as terrified as you are."

"What are we doing?"

"Can we just forget what happened? I've missed you. We can fix this Max. It's too good not to."

"I'm not so sure," she trailed off, looking away, "I'm not who you want me to be. I'm not going to be an ideal mom or wife am I? I'm argumentative, stubborn, commitment phobic, a terrible cook, I push people away that I care about. I did it with you, and what if I do it to our kid? You want that perfect little wife who will have dinner waiting for you when you get home, raise the cookie cutter children, take care of the house, and . . . that isn't me."

"You're intelligent, funny, kind, strong, loyal, and you have this incredibly sweet and vulnerable side that you don't let many people see," Kenny countered, hating how down she was, "You're not perfect, neither am I. And I want you, flaws and all. Only you. You're going to be a fantastic mother. I know it."

Max swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill, "You mean that."

"Of course I do. Max I was an ass."

She cut him off, "You were only doing what was right . . . for us and the baby. Life is changing so quickly, and it scares me more then I like to admit."

"You're not the only one."

Max smiled and looked down at her stomach, "Do ever wonder what would have happened if I didn't get pregnant? I mean with us?"

Kenny regarded her thoughtfully, "I don't know. Maybe it was meant to happen this way, I mean everything happens for a reason right?"

"Maybe. Can we really just pick up where we left off?," Max asked, "Everything happened so quickly with us . . . maybe we should slow it down for awhile. Just take a break and step back from everything for a while."

"Is that what you want?," Kenny asked carefully, although he felt like his heart was being ripped in two, "Or are you just running away again?"

"I'm not running away," she retorted.

"Then what are you doing? You're all over the place sweetheart, and I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do to make you happy. To make this, us, right again. Would you just tell me?"

"I don't know," she replied, looking away and tried to gather her thoughts, "You're miserable, aren't you?"

"Not miserable . . . I don't know. What happened to us?"

Max bit her lip, "Isn't that what we're trying to figure out? We were so happy . . . even after I told you I was pregnant, for awhile."

"I don't do change well," Kenny admitted, thinking of how he reacted when she first told him, "And I'm as commitment phobic as you are. You know that. That first night though, the one where we, you know, was the best night of my life. When I woke up the next morning with you in my arms, I knew that you were going to be there forever. And that made me happy. Looking at you makes me happy, even now when you're obviously still mad at me."

"I'm not mad," she countered, as she replayed his words from the other night in her head, "Maybe a little. What you said . . . It hit close to home. One of my biggest fears is that . . . and this goes all the way back to my family I guess . . . is that no one will ever love me, and that I'll always be alone. The other night just opened all that back up for me."

"I love you," Kenny said softly, "I always have, and I always will. No matter how mad or crazy you make me sometimes, it's why I love you. You're wonderful sweetheart."

She swallowed, "I don't even know what to say anymore."

He reached out cautiously and took her hand in his, "What do you want? Forget everything else. Just say it."

Max nodded, and looked down at her hand clasped in his, "I want everything to go back to the way it was. Before our fight the other night . . . I want this baby, I really do. And I want you. I'm tired of fighting with you, and I want to forget . . . I'm not sure that I can though. What about you?"

He studied her closely, and wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her until the rest of the world just went away, "I want our life back. To see you smile again. We're having a baby Max, we should be happy. I want to hold you, kiss you, and be with you again. I want you to be able to look at me again and not feel so hurt and betrayed."'

She nodded, "Can we fix this?"

He squeezed her hand in his, and felt hopeful at the way this was heading, "We can try."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"I don't know. Do you want to go and get something to eat? You're eating for two now after all."

"Okay. Um, I'm off at five."

"I'm done at six . . . Pick you up at seven?"

"Okay."



"How are you holding up?," Jimmy asked, walking into his living room later that day, "Jill?"

She shrugged, "I'm all right. It's weird with her gone, we parted so badly. I was so mad at her Jimmy. I never got to say good-bye."

"She wasn't well in the end," Jimmy offered, "I don't know what happened to her."

"We should have saw it earlier. I should have been able to do something to help her. I'm a doctor after all!"

"You can't save everyone."

"I could tell you the same thing," she sighed lost in her thoughts, "The funeral was awful. No one came."

"She hurt a lot of people," Jimmy replied, joining her on the couch, "I was actually surprised that you went."

"She was my best friend Jimmy. Despite everything else."

"Everything else? She filed a sexual harassment suit against me, shot Kenny, and tried to break up our marriage. That isn't anything that I can just forget."

"She's dead Jimmy. And no one cares."

"Of course I care. Jill!"

"Forget it. You always hated her, I don't know why I thought that you would care that she was gone."

"You're being ridiculous! I'm sorry you lost your friend Jill, but I'm not going to lie and say I miss her."

"You're unbelievable."

"Forget I said anything at all then."



"You look great," Kenny said, letting his gaze slide over to Max again.

She smiled in the darkness of the trucks cab, "Thanks . . . I need to go buy some bigger clothes. Everything is starting to get tight on me."

"How about one of those dresses with the embroidered farm animals on it? You'd look cute."

"Um, not my style," Max said, trying not to laugh, as she ran her fingers over her small bump, "It's a good excuse to shop though."

Kenny took in the way that the thin material of her sun dress skimmed over her body with appreciation, "I never thought you needed one."

She let herself relax some, as she leaned back against the seat, "I don't. I'm glad that we're doing this."

"Me too," he agreed, knowing they were both dancing around everything they had said earlier, "We should send Jimmy a thank you card. I haven't seen him that pissed about something in a while."

"Me either," Max trailed off, "He cares about us, he's made that very clear over the past few years."

Kenny pulled the truck into the parking lot, "He has. And he's happy for us too, he keeps looking at you and smiling."

"Really? I haven't noticed," she said distantly, climbing down from his truck, "Where are we?"

"I thought you'd like some privacy," Kenny replied, as they made their way toward the restaurant, "Which we can't seem to get in Rome, so here we are."

"People do like to talk there," she agreed, "Thanks."



"I'm going upstairs," Jill snapped, "You can stay down here for as long as you want because I don't want to see you right now."

"Jill!"

"You're an insensitive jackass!"

"Fine. Do what you want."

"Thanks for your support. It's made all of the difference," Jill spat, storming upstairs.



"You didn't take it off," Kenny commented, watching Max play with her food.

Max followed his gaze down to the ring on her finger, "Well, it's really pretty."

"Is that the only reason?"

She smiled despite herself and their situation, "No."

"Tell me then," he prodded, glad to see her smile again, "I'm glad that you didn't flush it down the toilet or something."

"I wouldn't flush it," she replied, "And I didn't want to take it off.. If . . . If I did, it would have been like saying it was over. I didn't want that."

He intertwined his fingers with hers, "I'm glad that you didn't. It looks good on you."

Max looked down at her hand in his, and found it impossible to stay mad at him, "You've really swept me of my feet with all of this."

Kenny regarded her thoughtfully, "How are you feeling about all of this now?"

"All this? Marriage, house, minivan, the 2.5 kids?"

"How can we have half a kid? Yeah, all of that."

"Scared shitless," she replied softly, "You know that. We're really different, aren't we? With what we want out of life and stuff. Can it really work? When we fight . . . we really go all out with it. I love you. So much. And I'm scared that it's all going to fall apart, and our kid is going to be caught in the middle."

"Max."

"Ssh. I'm not finished," she interjected, laying her other hand on top of his, "But we won't know unless we try, right? I don't even care if we run off and elope now. Let's do it. Hell, let's do it tonight."

"Is this what our life is going to be like?," he asked, leaning in closer to her, "You're going to keep surprising me like that. You really want to do it tonight? What about your beach?"

"Forget it. I saw a church on our way here."

"You're completely nuts," he replied, kissing her quickly, "God I love you."

"You want to go?"

Kenny nodded, shocked that she would really go through with it, "Let's get out of here."



"Are you still awake?," Jimmy asked cautiously, rapping on their bedroom door, "Jill?"

"No," she called back, as he pushed the door open, "I want to be alone."

"Jill. She was your friend, I get that. And it hurts that she's gone. I should have gone with you today, for you. I'm sorry."

"You hated her. You shouldn't have had to be there. Can we just leave this for now?"

"Do you want me to go?"

She shook her head, "Come to bed Jimmy. I want you to touch me."



"When did it start raining?," Max asked, as they ran up to the church steps in the down pour.

Kenny swept her drenched hair off of her face and kissed her quickly, "At least there won't be any pictures."

Max kissed him back, as he placed his hands on her stomach, "I can't believe that we're doing this."

"You're freezing," he countered, running his hands up and down her arms, "Come on, let's go inside."

"Can I help you?," a minister asked, as they walked inside, "It's a terrible night to be caught outside."

Kenny pulled her next to her side before replying, "Yeah. We actually wanted to get married."

"Well congratulations," he replied with a grin, "Would you like to dry off first? I have some towels in the back."

"Thanks," Max said, leaning into Kenny, "That'll be great."

"I'll be back."

Kenny smoothed back her hair and kissed her forehead, "Are you still cold?"

She smiled up at him, "Kenny, I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

"We're really doing this?"

"Hey," she said softly, bringing her hand to his cheek, "Are you okay?"

"You're going to be my wife," he continued, looking down at her flushed face, "We're really doing this Max?"

She nodded, noting his slightly panicked expression, "Kenny?"

"I need to sit," he said, lowering himself to a bench, "We're getting married."

She sat down next to him, "Are you okay? Talk to me."

He shook his head, "I see why you've been so panicked about this. Max, I didn't know I would feel like this."

"Hey," she said softly, "We don't have too."

"Do you know how much I want too? What the hell is wrong with me?"

"I know. And nothing. It's scary, I know that and you've been putting up with my mood swings for the last few months. Your call."

"I love you," he said softly, looking into her eyes and his resolve strengthened, "We're doing this."

"Excuse me," a voice cut in, "I'm Angela, the minister's wife? I brought you some towels, and we have a dryer if you would like for your clothes."

"Thanks," Max replied, accepting the pile of towels and bathrobes, "This is really too much."

Kenny nodded, glad that she would have something warm to wear, "Really. We appreciate it."

Angela nodded, "Well you look like a nice young couple. When are you due?"

Max looked down at the way the wet material was hugging her bump, "Five months from now, so in the end of December."

"Let's get you out of those dry clothes then. If you would follow me?"


To be continued.