Disc: FFX isn't mine. Nor is "Be My Yoko Ono."
AN: This is actually more than a year old, I think. I wrote it some time after finishing FFX. It's been sitting around for a while, but I still think it's pretty funny, so when I found it again I decided to put it up. Be warned that it does contain big spoilers for the game. If you don't like the mental image of Seymour as the Bare Naked Ladies, well... neither do I, but it had to be done, didn't it?
BE MY YUNALESCA
[Our scene takes place in GUADOSALAM, where SEYMOUR has set out a feast for YUNA and COMPANY. He takes a deep breath and prepares to convince her to marry him. SEYMOUR breaks into song.]
SEYMOUR:
If there's someone you can sacrifice, then do so.
And if there's someone who should pay the price, make them do so...
You can be my Yunalesca!
You can summon me whenever we go!
Be my, be my, be my Yunalesca, oh~oh!
Isn't it beautiful when two people die so much in love?
And your religion keeps you hand in hand and hand and hand in glove!
Myself and Mika go on living and spreading the pain,
While our dear lady sits in Zanarkand and slowly goes insane!
You can be my Yunalesca!
You can summon me whenever we go!
Be my, be my, be my Yunalesca, oh~oh!
Oh no, here we go, this world is a spiral of death!
Oh no, here we go as all the fayth sing:
Ieyui Nobomeno...
I know that she's real messed up
And that her dad's a giant weevil
But I don't want all you people
Judging her for being kind of evil!
(Don't blame it on Yunie!)
If you were she and you were mine
I would gladly give my physical body...
Just to become Sin and go out and destroy everybody!
(Hit it!)
You can be my Yunalesca!
You can summon me whenever we go!
Be my, be my, be my Yunalesca, oh~oh!
[YUNA takes a moment.]
YUNA: Um, no.
SEYMOUR: Oh. Okay.
[EVERYONE lives happily every after.]
[THE END.]
AN: This is actually more than a year old, I think. I wrote it some time after finishing FFX. It's been sitting around for a while, but I still think it's pretty funny, so when I found it again I decided to put it up. Be warned that it does contain big spoilers for the game. If you don't like the mental image of Seymour as the Bare Naked Ladies, well... neither do I, but it had to be done, didn't it?
BE MY YUNALESCA
[Our scene takes place in GUADOSALAM, where SEYMOUR has set out a feast for YUNA and COMPANY. He takes a deep breath and prepares to convince her to marry him. SEYMOUR breaks into song.]
SEYMOUR:
If there's someone you can sacrifice, then do so.
And if there's someone who should pay the price, make them do so...
You can be my Yunalesca!
You can summon me whenever we go!
Be my, be my, be my Yunalesca, oh~oh!
Isn't it beautiful when two people die so much in love?
And your religion keeps you hand in hand and hand and hand in glove!
Myself and Mika go on living and spreading the pain,
While our dear lady sits in Zanarkand and slowly goes insane!
You can be my Yunalesca!
You can summon me whenever we go!
Be my, be my, be my Yunalesca, oh~oh!
Oh no, here we go, this world is a spiral of death!
Oh no, here we go as all the fayth sing:
Ieyui Nobomeno...
I know that she's real messed up
And that her dad's a giant weevil
But I don't want all you people
Judging her for being kind of evil!
(Don't blame it on Yunie!)
If you were she and you were mine
I would gladly give my physical body...
Just to become Sin and go out and destroy everybody!
(Hit it!)
You can be my Yunalesca!
You can summon me whenever we go!
Be my, be my, be my Yunalesca, oh~oh!
[YUNA takes a moment.]
YUNA: Um, no.
SEYMOUR: Oh. Okay.
[EVERYONE lives happily every after.]
[THE END.]