August, 2003.
Hillaria State Prison
"You, Jack Sparrow, are condemned to hang by the neck until you are dead."
Ignoring that the Hillarian soldier left the "Captain" was left off of his
name, Jack said, "Can't we just hang me by the neck until I'm a little bit
sick?"
"No," said the guard, closing the cell door and locking it.
"Excuse me," Jack said, trying to poke his head through the bars, "but
wasn't this a state founded by Democrats?"
"It was. Point being?"
"Why do you have capital punishment?"
"For plot purposes, of course. Do you have a problem?"
"Yes, I do. I object to being hanged by the neck until dead to further the
plot of a Mary Sue fan fiction."
"Well, my friend, live with it." With that, the guard stomped off.
"Bloody hell, can't I get a break? First my comedic entrance is ignored by
my fans, then concrete collapses and I lose my eyeliner, next I get
interrogated by a bunch of petty bureaucrats, and finally I save two girls
only to be hanged by the neck, not until I'm a little bit sick, but
bleeding DEAD. What kind of Disney movie is this?"
The audience tutted and threw popcorn at the screen. "Bloody whiner needs
to count his blessings. It might be a tragedy instead of a comedy."
"That was a bit of a damp squib," said the only member of the audience who
had not thrown popcorn.
"What the hell is a damp squib?" asked the audience who had thrown popcorn.
"It's an obscure British English phrase from 1910 that practically nobody
knows of," said the member of the audience who had not thrown popcorn.
"Oh."
Hillaria State Prison
"You, Jack Sparrow, are condemned to hang by the neck until you are dead."
Ignoring that the Hillarian soldier left the "Captain" was left off of his
name, Jack said, "Can't we just hang me by the neck until I'm a little bit
sick?"
"No," said the guard, closing the cell door and locking it.
"Excuse me," Jack said, trying to poke his head through the bars, "but
wasn't this a state founded by Democrats?"
"It was. Point being?"
"Why do you have capital punishment?"
"For plot purposes, of course. Do you have a problem?"
"Yes, I do. I object to being hanged by the neck until dead to further the
plot of a Mary Sue fan fiction."
"Well, my friend, live with it." With that, the guard stomped off.
"Bloody hell, can't I get a break? First my comedic entrance is ignored by
my fans, then concrete collapses and I lose my eyeliner, next I get
interrogated by a bunch of petty bureaucrats, and finally I save two girls
only to be hanged by the neck, not until I'm a little bit sick, but
bleeding DEAD. What kind of Disney movie is this?"
The audience tutted and threw popcorn at the screen. "Bloody whiner needs
to count his blessings. It might be a tragedy instead of a comedy."
"That was a bit of a damp squib," said the only member of the audience who
had not thrown popcorn.
"What the hell is a damp squib?" asked the audience who had thrown popcorn.
"It's an obscure British English phrase from 1910 that practically nobody
knows of," said the member of the audience who had not thrown popcorn.
"Oh."