"I'll never give up on you, Bastila. I know you can still be saved." She snickered at me. At that moment I felt stupid. She used the force to freeze Juhani and Jolee. No one else was there. It was just she and I now. She lunged toward me and I blocked her attack. She spun around and kicked me at the same time. I staggered backwards. She laughed at me. It wasn't that sweet laugh. She wasn't there. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she was all gone. We fought more, lightsabers clashing, I didn't ever attack her, only blocked her advances on me. Finally when there was a break in her attack I force pushed her to the ground.
I was ready for her to bounce back up and attack me again. But she paused. And looked at me.
"You think you can defeat me. The dark side is more powerful than you, than the Jedi council, I've finally learned to let my anger give me power."
"You've been consumed by the dark side, Bastila. Can't you see it's destroying you?"
"Destroying me?" She laughed at me. Again, somehow she had a way of making me feel stupid. "When Malak takes over, he will be the most powerful man in the galaxy. And I'll be right at his side." I hated Malak more right then, than I ever had before. She would be right at his side. I attempted to control my hate; I couldn't let it take over. For her sake at least. "How is that destroying me? Besides, I will become more powerful than him, I will become the master."
"Malak will never let you become that powerful. He will kill you first. You are dooming yourself to an endless cycle of death and betrayal."
I could almost hear her yelling "shut up" at me. But the clash of our lightsabers was once again loud. She stopped once more, a few minutes later.
"There is still the option of joining me. We could take Malak's place. Be the most powerful people in the galaxy. Your power is immense. If we joined forces we would be unstoppable." I knew my duty. I had to keep trying.
"I have not faltered. You have been misled by the dark side."
"Fool."
I was beginning to hate the sound of lightsabers. I couldn't help her. This was it- the end. I would have to kill her. I calmed myself as we fought, willing the force upon me. Using it against her. I was going to kill her. The woman I love. If she didn't listen… I would have no other choice. To protect myself, the republic… millions of people… I would have to kill…
Her.
I slashed her arm, cutting it. I heard her scream- and I cringed for a moment, long enough for her to knock me off my feet. She jumped at me and I moved just in time for the lightsaber to make a dark mark in the floor instead of my head. I used the force and slammed her against the wall. I think it hurt me more than her. Her lightsaber flew in another direction. I approached her falling body, on the floor. I put my lightsaber away, and knelt by her. After our three attempts at each other- she was weak.
"Now you see the dark side is not stronger than the light?"
"Just get it over with. Kill me. NOW!" I wouldn't. I know now that I could never hurt her. Just battling her was too much. There was no way I could kill her.
"I could never kill you, Bastila."
"Why in the hell not? I would kill you." She didn't mean it. She couldn't. But she was looking at me so coldly, I almost wanted her to kill me.
"You don't mean that. You can reject the dark side, return to the light. Turn to the Jedi Code. It can help you." I tried my best to persuade her, but I didn't use the force to do so. I needed her to make this choice on her own.
"The Jedi code is nothing to me. It is nothing." I could see the conflict in her. I felt her through our bond.
"Look into your heart, and you will find the light."
"It is too late for me… I've been consumed in the dark. There isn't a way back."
"Help us defeat the Sith. This will atone for anything you've done." This was going to work. I had her back. I could tell from her eyes I had her back.
"Why would you trust me?"
"I trust you enough to leave myself open to your attack." I put my hands in the air. She knew my lightsaber was away. If she were going to kill me it would be now. And I wouldn't stop her. Although I was almost sure she wouldn't.
"How do you know that once I get up I won't just kill you? Huh?" She was battling an inner darkness.
"You won't. I know you still serve the light side."
"Why are you doing this? Why can't you just kill me? Give me what I deserve…" She looked away from me. Bastila felt guilt. A heavy guilt, and I know she wanted to die. "You don't love me." Of course I loved her. How could she not know? But then again, Malak had told her lies. About everyone she ever knew.
"I do love you." Bastila almost smiled at me. She had that sparkle in her eyes. That life that was her. She knew I was telling the truth. "Whatever he said to you was a lie. You know I love you. You can feel it." You can taste it. I leaned down and kissed her. It was unsure as the one before. But it was powerful, full of passion- at the same time… full of peace. Serenity. This was the will of the force. We could feel it in our veins.
"I love you." I heard her whisper through her tears. I helped her up and we embraced. "I'm sorry…" She kept whispering, "I'm so sorry. How could you forgive me, after I tried to kill you?"
"I love you too much. You aren't afraid to love anymore?" She shook her head. I saw her put up her hand and unfreeze Juhani and Jolee. They didn't ask any questions as they saw us in an embrace. They knew what had happened, and the two Jedi smiled about it.
"I hate to break this up, but we need Bastila to use her battle meditation to help the republic." Bastila cringed. I felt her disturbance. She had helped the Sith kill many of the Republic using her battle meditation already. I calmed her mind through our force bond.
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I faced Malak by myself that day. And I killed him. Not out of revenge, or anger… I killed him with peace. I don't know how you can kill someone with peace. But it was the will of the force.