August, 2003.
The Black Pearl.
Three minutes after Elizabeth, Shawna, the Umbrella, Will, and Jack are
captured.
Barbosa eyed his captives beadily. "I recognize Miss Swann, Shawna, and Jack Sparrow, of course. But . . . what about you?" This question was directed towards William, but the Umbrella answered.
"My name is Lord Egbert Ethewlwulf Ethelbald Ethlbert Ethelred Alfred Edward Athelstan Edmund Edred Edwy Edgar Canute Harold William Henry Stephen Richard John James Charles George Black London Umbrella XVI, and I insist upon you calling me by my full name."
"But I may call him umbrella," Shawna said in a self-satisfied voice.
"Somebody make the umbrella walk the plank," Barbosa said wearily.
"I do not have feet!" the umbrella declared. "You are discriminating against umbrellas."
"Then throw it overboard," grumbled Barbosa.
"This is clearly discrimination on your part. You are," the umbrella said dramatically, "an umbrellphobic."
Barbosa sighed. "Am I correct in saying that 'phobic' comes from the Greek word 'phobia,' which is a fear?"
"Yes."
"I am not umbrellphobic, because I am not afraid of umbrellas. I do, however, hate needlessly over-sensitive umbrellas."
"DISCRIMINATION!" shrieked the umbrella. "I'll have the ACLU on you for this!"
Barbosa picked up the umbrella and threw him/it overboard.
"You bastard!" shrieked Shawna, and ran up to Barbosa, pushing him into the shark-infested water. This in turn caused the crew to shove Shawna and Elizabeth (although she hadn't done anything) into the water, too. The two girls (and the umbrella) swam to the shore of an island located conveniently close by. Barbosa climbed back onto the ship.
"Alright, fool, what is your name?"
"William Turner."
"Is your surname actually Turner, or is it just an alias designed to hopelessly confuse me?"
"Please, sir, I'm not intelligent enough to think up an alias that complicated."
"And I am Jack Sparrow-Captain Jack Sparrow, just to let you know."
"I know who you are, Sparrow. Please get off of my ship."
"The Black Pearl is *my* ship, not yours. And it is currently surrounded by water," replied Jack.
"You jackanapes, you're supposed to jump in the water and swim to shore!" Barbosa roared.
William and Jack jumped in the water at the same time and swam to shore.
"Damn it, that Turner whelp was supposed to stay with us so we could kill 'im! Attack the island, men!"
Barbosa eyed his captives beadily. "I recognize Miss Swann, Shawna, and Jack Sparrow, of course. But . . . what about you?" This question was directed towards William, but the Umbrella answered.
"My name is Lord Egbert Ethewlwulf Ethelbald Ethlbert Ethelred Alfred Edward Athelstan Edmund Edred Edwy Edgar Canute Harold William Henry Stephen Richard John James Charles George Black London Umbrella XVI, and I insist upon you calling me by my full name."
"But I may call him umbrella," Shawna said in a self-satisfied voice.
"Somebody make the umbrella walk the plank," Barbosa said wearily.
"I do not have feet!" the umbrella declared. "You are discriminating against umbrellas."
"Then throw it overboard," grumbled Barbosa.
"This is clearly discrimination on your part. You are," the umbrella said dramatically, "an umbrellphobic."
Barbosa sighed. "Am I correct in saying that 'phobic' comes from the Greek word 'phobia,' which is a fear?"
"Yes."
"I am not umbrellphobic, because I am not afraid of umbrellas. I do, however, hate needlessly over-sensitive umbrellas."
"DISCRIMINATION!" shrieked the umbrella. "I'll have the ACLU on you for this!"
Barbosa picked up the umbrella and threw him/it overboard.
"You bastard!" shrieked Shawna, and ran up to Barbosa, pushing him into the shark-infested water. This in turn caused the crew to shove Shawna and Elizabeth (although she hadn't done anything) into the water, too. The two girls (and the umbrella) swam to the shore of an island located conveniently close by. Barbosa climbed back onto the ship.
"Alright, fool, what is your name?"
"William Turner."
"Is your surname actually Turner, or is it just an alias designed to hopelessly confuse me?"
"Please, sir, I'm not intelligent enough to think up an alias that complicated."
"And I am Jack Sparrow-Captain Jack Sparrow, just to let you know."
"I know who you are, Sparrow. Please get off of my ship."
"The Black Pearl is *my* ship, not yours. And it is currently surrounded by water," replied Jack.
"You jackanapes, you're supposed to jump in the water and swim to shore!" Barbosa roared.
William and Jack jumped in the water at the same time and swam to shore.
"Damn it, that Turner whelp was supposed to stay with us so we could kill 'im! Attack the island, men!"