Resident Evil 2
intro to Leons A Scenario in RE2:
*Shot of the front of a Jeep, changes to a road sign above the road*
Leon"Raccoon City? Hey, that old guy at the gas station said this highway would take me to New Mexico!"
*Flash to shots of the empty streets of Raccoon City. Leons jeep pulls up infront of something in the middle of the road. Crows fly away and Leon steps out of his jeep to investigate*
Leon"What have we got here? Wow, my first day on the job and i get to deal with my 1st crack whore!"
*Shot of Leons back as camera zooms in. Flash to gas station somewhere in Raccoon. A creature comes into shot flying out a window*
Creature"Hey, all i wanted were some waffles!"
*The creature rises. Shot of man in a truck holding his arm*
Truck Driver"That guys a maniac! All i did was beat his top score at Space Invaders! Why'd he bite me?"
*Shot of mans blood covered arm. The truck blows its horn and drives away, whilst the creature starts to move away from the gas station*
Creature"Fine! Ill go to Hooters down the street from here!"
*Shot of a hand on a wall, goes to Leon checking a body in the middle of the street*
Leon"Hmm, wonder where she hid her stash...better frisk her"
*View of something moving towards Leon. Camera zooms in on Leon*
Leon"Uh oh....im guessin they're her pushers and pimps huh?"
*Shots of creatures moving towards Leon and surrounding him*
Leon"Hey..i wasnt gonna bong or anything from her..hehe...hey what are these things?"
Creature"Actually i prefer the term, undead monster"
Leon"Oh ok. Ok thats far enough, DONT MOVE! God knows what kinda cootys youve all got!"
*Creatures still advance towards Leon. Camera turns to body on the floor as its eyes open. Shot of Leon*
LeonNO!
*Corpse grabs Leons boot*
Leon"Those boots are genuine suade you b@st@rd!"
*Shot of Leon as he fires his gun at the corpse. Creatures close in on Leon, as he starts to fire his gun. Leon hits one creature twice in the chest*
Creature" Owwww, dammit that hurt!"
Leon"The hell? That was a clean hit! I always bag drug dealers with those kinda shots!"
*Leon continus firing at the creatures as he backs into an alley*
Leon"Ohhhhhhhhh crap, i knew i should have got to work earlier instad of stopping at that strip joint.."
*Leon reloads his gun as he backs away. Suddenly a door opens and a woman appears*
Woman"Ahhhhhhh! Leonardio DiCaprio!"
*Shot of Leon aiming his gun at woman. Camera turns to woman with a creature moving towards her in the background*
Woman"Hey can i have your auto..."
Leon"GET DOWN!"
Woman"Huh?"
Creatures"HE SAID GET DOWN!"
Woman"Oh ok!"
*The woman ducks down as Leon shoots the creature square in the head. Camera truns to Woman on the floor as Leon holds out his hand*
Leon"We cant stay out here. Head to the police statin, itll be alot safer"
Woman"Hehe, right, like ive never heard that line before..."
*Leon and the woman run out of the alley into another street. They look around quickly for somewhere to hide. Leon spots something*
Leon"Cool, a Porsche Boxster!"
Woman"Its a Ford Saturn you idiot! Lets get in!"
*Leon and the woman rush towards the car and get in as the zombies move towards them*
Leon"Buckle up!"
Woman*in a sarchastic girly voice*"Geeee, thank you Mr Car Safety 1st Man!"
*The car speeds off as the creatures stand confused*
Creature"Hey, thats my car!"
*Fade to the car speeding along the roads of Raccoon as more creatures are seen in the streets. Shot of Leon and the woman in the car*
Woman"Whats going on? I was waiting on the corner for my erm, daddy, and the whole place went insane!"
Leon[/b]"Great the radios out! Must be those tight hot pants your wearing...most middle aged men round here dont get any action that often, if you catch my drift..."
Woman[/b]"Hehe...you a cop right?..."
*Woman quickly stuffs a small packet containing some white powder down her top*
Leon"Yeah, first day on the job. Great huh? Names Leon Kennedy, nice to meet you"
Woman"Mines Claire, Claire Redfield. I cam looking for my brother Chris..."
Leon"You came?!?! Dirty little...."
Claire"NOT THAT KIND OF CAME YOU FOOL!"
Leon"OOOOooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"
*Camera zooms away from the car as it slides into a corner. A truck is close behing it*
Claire"Hey watch your driving hotshot! This aint no rally race ya know!"
*Shot of the car driving down a road, as the truck follows behind, knocking down some street signs*
Leon"Sorry...Hey could you open the glovebox?*thinks to himself* Gotta be some joints in this car...."
*Claire opens the glovebox, to find a gun and a chilli burrito*
Claire"Theres a gun inside..."
*Leon curses to himself*
Leon*sigh*"Better take it with you. Better than that crappy bread knife ya got at the moment"
*Shot of Claire checking the sights if the gun. Suddenly a creature pops up from the backseat*
Creature"Woooh! Best sleep ive had in weeks! Say, would ya mind if i got my burrito from the glovebox?"
Leon"NO!"
Creature"Hey! What are doin in my house!"
*Leon swerves to avoid getting bitten by the creature, as the car hits the side of a wall*
Claire"Look out!"
Creature"Dammit, gimme my burrito!!!"
*Leon trys to evade the creatures attack, as the car swerves left and right*
Leon"Make way!!!"
Claire"Woaaaaaahhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiittttt!!!!!!!!"
*The car crashs head first into a street sign, and the creature flys through the front windscreen*
Creature"Noooooooooooooooo, my burritooooooooooooooooooo OUCH!"
*Shot of Leon and Claire recovering from the crash.
Leon"Damn! I pretty much wrote off this car huh? Oh yeah, are you ok?"
Claire"Well duh, im still alive arent I?"
Leon"Hey...wanna make out? This is a pretty roomy car after all...."
Claire"Sure!"
*Leons looks into the rear view mirror and sees the truck loosing control and heading straight towards them*
Leon"Hey! That maniacs watching us!"
Claire"PERVERT!"
*Shot of the driver, who appears to be another creature*
Leon"Ermmmmm.....RUN!!!"
*Leon and Claire quickly get out the car and run out the way, as the truck collides with the car* Claire dives the opposite way from Leon runnign away. Claire gets up and shields her face from the smoke and flames*
Leon"Claire, you there? Oh well shes dead, never mind, sh!t happens"
Claire"LEON"
Leon"Im ok. Head to the station, ill make out with ya there!"
Claire*in a sexy voice*"Alright lover, ill be waiting..."
Leon"Hehe, ok"
*Leon backs away from the wreckage as he swallows a mint Tic Tac to freshen up his breath for Claire later*
Leon and Claire in the STARS office
*Enter Claire into the STARS office to meet Leon*
Claire "Leon!"
*Leon quickly shoves Chris's porno back into the drawer. He and Claire walk to the middle of the room to meet each other*
Leon "Its good to see your still among the living!"
Claire "Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever, just clear away that trash on the desk and whip off your pants so we can f**k"
Leon "Ummmm, ok. But first about your brother..."
Claire "My what?.....OH yeah!!! What about him?"
Leon "Well, see the thing is.....hes a crap guitar player..."
Claire "He is???"
Leon "Yeah...i was just looking over some of his...ermmm... sheet music and it really bites....yeah... and his guitars outta tune too...mmmmhmmm"
*Leons nods his head whilst Claire gives him a funny look*
Claire "Erm whats really goin on Leon?...hey that rhymes..."
Leon "Well...ok...it looks like we're not gonna find your brother here after all..."
Claire "........YA THINK!?!?"
*Leon hands Claire Chris's diary. Claire flicks through the diary, stopping every so often to look at Chris's drawings of Jill nude doing, errmmm, dirty things:D. Claire looks at the floor ashamed by her brothers poor enterpretation of the femal anatomy*
Leon "Wow! He might be a bad musician, but hes a damn good artist!"
*Claire quickly puts away Chris's diary and Leon stops leering over the pictures of Jill*
Leon "Theres no reason for us to stay any longer than neccessary."
Claire "Yeah there is. I heard the Baskin Robins down the street has some damn good frozen yogurt. Maybe we could grab some..."
Leon "Ahhhhh no..we should split up, look for any survivors, steal their cash and valuables, and get outta here!"
Claire "Right! Good plan!" Leon "Well of course. I AM a cop...."
Claire "Yeah, a pretty dumb one at that too..."
Leon "One last thing."
*Leon takes a radio from his belt and hands it to Claire*
Leon "Hears a radio, take it. That way we can listen KRaccoon 109 while we blast some zombie a$$!"
*Claire nods and takes the radio, whilst Leon runs off through the door. Claire walks over to Chris's desk and takes out the porno mag Leon was looking at. She flicks through it, pulling back the stuck together pages with noticable white stains on them*
Claire "Jeez bro, you had ta just go and ruin my porno didnt ya?"
*Walks out the room in a bad mood*
Hunk and William Birkin
*Two SWAT soldiers slowly move down a corridor. One stops and peers round the corner*
Hunk "This way"
*The soldiers move toward a door. Switch to a compartment moving outwards ful of vials of green and purple substances*
William "Its sheer perfection, my high sugar sweetener for Mountain Dew"
*Takes the sample in his hand*
William "No-one will ever take your sweetness away from me!"
*Suddenly two SWAT soldiers come through a sliding door. Willima reacts quickly and grabs a suitcase and a pistol.* Hunk "There he is!"
SWAT#1 "Where? My goggles are all fogged up..."
*Takes out cloth and wipes his goggles, and see Birkin*
SWAT#1 "Ohhhhh there he is!"
William "So you've finally come! Jesus, how long does it take to deliver a ham and pineapple pizza these days?"
Hunk "No doctor, we're here to collect the G-Virus sample.."
*William backs away towards his worktop*
William "Ok, ok, i'll trade ya my G-Virus for your Charizard card! Whaddaya say?"
*William backs into a container knocking it over onto the floor. William stops and SWAT#1 reacts to the sound and fires a burst from his H&K MP5 into William*
Hunk "Stop, i was gonna take him up on that deal..."
William "I'll take that as a no then...."
*Hunk steps towards William and sees a briefcase full of T and G-Virus samples*
Hunk "Thats it alright"
SWAT#1 "How do you know?"
Hunk "Because i do, thats how."
SWAT#1 "But your not a scien..."
Hunk "Shut the hell up before i give ya a wedgie smarta$$!"
SWAT#1 "Hehe, ok. Sorrry..."
Hunk "Good, you better be...OK lets move out!"
*Hunk and SWAT#1 leave the lab, whilst Birkin is left for dead. Annette enters the lab and sees William*
Annette "William! Did you squirt ketchup all over your lab coat again?"
*Annette moves over to William*
Annette *sigh* "I'll go get some detergent, stay here and dont touch any more condiments!"
*William nods and Annette leaves to go get some detergent. William gets out his sweetener*
William "Hehe suckers didnt get my sweetener. Well theres only one thing left to do..."
*Cut to another team of SWAT soldiers sending a radio message to Hunk*
SWAT#2 "Alpha team, did you retrieve the donuts yet?"
Hunk "Affirmative, we'll meet at the ren-dez-vous point"
SWAT#3 "Huh? I thought we was getting the G-Virus?"
SWAT#2 "We are. Donuts is the code name for the G-Virus, idiot!"
SWAT#3 "OHHHHHH! Hey, whats ren-dez-vous mean?"
SWAT#2 *sigh* "Just shut up and follow me alright?"
SWAT#3 "Ummmmm, ok"
*Switch to William with sweetener* William "Well....here goes....nothing..."
*Plunges the needle full of high sugar sweetener into his stomach*
William "Wooooooaaaaaahhhh, major sugar rush!!!!!"
*Switch to Williams eyes which have turned red in colour. Fade to Annette*
Ada "Are you telling me that he was bleeding and he didnt have ketchup on his shirt? Man, your a dumba$$!"
Annette "Shut up b!tch! He may have been a scientist, but he was as clumsy as hell!"
Ada "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrright? So he injected himself with a high power sugar sweetener, NOT the G-Virus?"
Annette "His Mountain Dew sweetener has the ability to give people a major burst of energy and get em smacked up like a crack whore"
*Fade to sewers. A load roar is heard*
SWAT#3 "Wh..wha...wha..what was that?"
SWAT#2 "Sounded like someone whos constipated! Better check it out, over there!"
SWAT#3 "Yeh, ok....good thing i cant smell anything under this mask"
*SWAT#2 and SWAT#3 run towards the sound. Cut to Hunk and SWAT#1 with their guns drawn*
SWAT#1 "Shoot! Eat this you freak!"
*Fires into monster but the monster is unaffected*
SWAT#1 "Hey, this is a BB gun! My other ones at home!!!"
Hunk "Excuses, excuses. Its your own damn fault for bringing that pea shooter! What is this thing anyways? Looks like a little kid who drank too much Coca Cola!"
Creature "SUGAR...GIMME SUGAR....CAFFEINE.....ADDITIVES........ANYTHING!?!?!"
*Some claws come into view. Cut to sewers again as a loud scream can be heard*
SWAT#2 "Man, that guy must have ate some seriously bad food! Lets hurry!"
*Pulls out some laxatives and runs towards the sounds with SWAT#3. Cut to body of SWAT#1 on the floor with a large wound on his chest. Cut to a large foot crushing vials of the T and G-Virus from the briefcase. A huge mutated body is seen with the sound of a vial of the G-Virus being eaten by the creature. SWAT#2 and SWAT#3 turn the corner to see the creature*
Creature "G-VIRUS HAVE NO SUGAR......ME WANT CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!COFFEEEEEE!!!!SWEEEEEEEETYYYYYYY!!!"
SWAT#2 "What is this thing? And why is it so constipated!"
*The creature lets out a loud roar*
Creature "F**KING HELL...IM SO HIGH...THAT I COULD.......FLY!!! YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"
SWAT#2 "FIRE, FIRE!!!"
*SWAT#2 throws the laxatives at the creature, but to no avail*
Creatures "LAXATIVES NO SUGAR.....GIMME SOME SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET SUGARRRRRRRRR!!!!!"
Camera zooms in to SWAT#2 as he gets attacked. SWAT#3 sees this and opens fire*
SWAT#3 " Sunnuva b!tch! You killed my love inter...er superior!"
*Fires into the creature, but it is unaffected. SWAT#3 runs out of ammo*
SWAT#3 "Ooooooooooooooooooh crap, im dead..."
*SWAT#3 shakes head and backs into a wall. Cut to a large eye opening*
SWAT#3 "Sh!t! Thats one helluva big one eye monster you got their!"
Creature "ONE EYE MONSTER WANT SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!"
*Cut to sewers as a scream is heard. Cut to brifecase and smashed vials of T and G-Virus, which some mice are eating at*
Mice "Ahh God bless these sewers. Always some chemical to eat and get stoned off...."
intro to Leons A Scenario in RE2:
*Shot of the front of a Jeep, changes to a road sign above the road*
Leon"Raccoon City? Hey, that old guy at the gas station said this highway would take me to New Mexico!"
*Flash to shots of the empty streets of Raccoon City. Leons jeep pulls up infront of something in the middle of the road. Crows fly away and Leon steps out of his jeep to investigate*
Leon"What have we got here? Wow, my first day on the job and i get to deal with my 1st crack whore!"
*Shot of Leons back as camera zooms in. Flash to gas station somewhere in Raccoon. A creature comes into shot flying out a window*
Creature"Hey, all i wanted were some waffles!"
*The creature rises. Shot of man in a truck holding his arm*
Truck Driver"That guys a maniac! All i did was beat his top score at Space Invaders! Why'd he bite me?"
*Shot of mans blood covered arm. The truck blows its horn and drives away, whilst the creature starts to move away from the gas station*
Creature"Fine! Ill go to Hooters down the street from here!"
*Shot of a hand on a wall, goes to Leon checking a body in the middle of the street*
Leon"Hmm, wonder where she hid her stash...better frisk her"
*View of something moving towards Leon. Camera zooms in on Leon*
Leon"Uh oh....im guessin they're her pushers and pimps huh?"
*Shots of creatures moving towards Leon and surrounding him*
Leon"Hey..i wasnt gonna bong or anything from her..hehe...hey what are these things?"
Creature"Actually i prefer the term, undead monster"
Leon"Oh ok. Ok thats far enough, DONT MOVE! God knows what kinda cootys youve all got!"
*Creatures still advance towards Leon. Camera turns to body on the floor as its eyes open. Shot of Leon*
LeonNO!
*Corpse grabs Leons boot*
Leon"Those boots are genuine suade you b@st@rd!"
*Shot of Leon as he fires his gun at the corpse. Creatures close in on Leon, as he starts to fire his gun. Leon hits one creature twice in the chest*
Creature" Owwww, dammit that hurt!"
Leon"The hell? That was a clean hit! I always bag drug dealers with those kinda shots!"
*Leon continus firing at the creatures as he backs into an alley*
Leon"Ohhhhhhhhh crap, i knew i should have got to work earlier instad of stopping at that strip joint.."
*Leon reloads his gun as he backs away. Suddenly a door opens and a woman appears*
Woman"Ahhhhhhh! Leonardio DiCaprio!"
*Shot of Leon aiming his gun at woman. Camera turns to woman with a creature moving towards her in the background*
Woman"Hey can i have your auto..."
Leon"GET DOWN!"
Woman"Huh?"
Creatures"HE SAID GET DOWN!"
Woman"Oh ok!"
*The woman ducks down as Leon shoots the creature square in the head. Camera truns to Woman on the floor as Leon holds out his hand*
Leon"We cant stay out here. Head to the police statin, itll be alot safer"
Woman"Hehe, right, like ive never heard that line before..."
*Leon and the woman run out of the alley into another street. They look around quickly for somewhere to hide. Leon spots something*
Leon"Cool, a Porsche Boxster!"
Woman"Its a Ford Saturn you idiot! Lets get in!"
*Leon and the woman rush towards the car and get in as the zombies move towards them*
Leon"Buckle up!"
Woman*in a sarchastic girly voice*"Geeee, thank you Mr Car Safety 1st Man!"
*The car speeds off as the creatures stand confused*
Creature"Hey, thats my car!"
*Fade to the car speeding along the roads of Raccoon as more creatures are seen in the streets. Shot of Leon and the woman in the car*
Woman"Whats going on? I was waiting on the corner for my erm, daddy, and the whole place went insane!"
Leon[/b]"Great the radios out! Must be those tight hot pants your wearing...most middle aged men round here dont get any action that often, if you catch my drift..."
Woman[/b]"Hehe...you a cop right?..."
*Woman quickly stuffs a small packet containing some white powder down her top*
Leon"Yeah, first day on the job. Great huh? Names Leon Kennedy, nice to meet you"
Woman"Mines Claire, Claire Redfield. I cam looking for my brother Chris..."
Leon"You came?!?! Dirty little...."
Claire"NOT THAT KIND OF CAME YOU FOOL!"
Leon"OOOOooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"
*Camera zooms away from the car as it slides into a corner. A truck is close behing it*
Claire"Hey watch your driving hotshot! This aint no rally race ya know!"
*Shot of the car driving down a road, as the truck follows behind, knocking down some street signs*
Leon"Sorry...Hey could you open the glovebox?*thinks to himself* Gotta be some joints in this car...."
*Claire opens the glovebox, to find a gun and a chilli burrito*
Claire"Theres a gun inside..."
*Leon curses to himself*
Leon*sigh*"Better take it with you. Better than that crappy bread knife ya got at the moment"
*Shot of Claire checking the sights if the gun. Suddenly a creature pops up from the backseat*
Creature"Woooh! Best sleep ive had in weeks! Say, would ya mind if i got my burrito from the glovebox?"
Leon"NO!"
Creature"Hey! What are doin in my house!"
*Leon swerves to avoid getting bitten by the creature, as the car hits the side of a wall*
Claire"Look out!"
Creature"Dammit, gimme my burrito!!!"
*Leon trys to evade the creatures attack, as the car swerves left and right*
Leon"Make way!!!"
Claire"Woaaaaaahhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiittttt!!!!!!!!"
*The car crashs head first into a street sign, and the creature flys through the front windscreen*
Creature"Noooooooooooooooo, my burritooooooooooooooooooo OUCH!"
*Shot of Leon and Claire recovering from the crash.
Leon"Damn! I pretty much wrote off this car huh? Oh yeah, are you ok?"
Claire"Well duh, im still alive arent I?"
Leon"Hey...wanna make out? This is a pretty roomy car after all...."
Claire"Sure!"
*Leons looks into the rear view mirror and sees the truck loosing control and heading straight towards them*
Leon"Hey! That maniacs watching us!"
Claire"PERVERT!"
*Shot of the driver, who appears to be another creature*
Leon"Ermmmmm.....RUN!!!"
*Leon and Claire quickly get out the car and run out the way, as the truck collides with the car* Claire dives the opposite way from Leon runnign away. Claire gets up and shields her face from the smoke and flames*
Leon"Claire, you there? Oh well shes dead, never mind, sh!t happens"
Claire"LEON"
Leon"Im ok. Head to the station, ill make out with ya there!"
Claire*in a sexy voice*"Alright lover, ill be waiting..."
Leon"Hehe, ok"
*Leon backs away from the wreckage as he swallows a mint Tic Tac to freshen up his breath for Claire later*
Leon and Claire in the STARS office
*Enter Claire into the STARS office to meet Leon*
Claire "Leon!"
*Leon quickly shoves Chris's porno back into the drawer. He and Claire walk to the middle of the room to meet each other*
Leon "Its good to see your still among the living!"
Claire "Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever, just clear away that trash on the desk and whip off your pants so we can f**k"
Leon "Ummmm, ok. But first about your brother..."
Claire "My what?.....OH yeah!!! What about him?"
Leon "Well, see the thing is.....hes a crap guitar player..."
Claire "He is???"
Leon "Yeah...i was just looking over some of his...ermmm... sheet music and it really bites....yeah... and his guitars outta tune too...mmmmhmmm"
*Leons nods his head whilst Claire gives him a funny look*
Claire "Erm whats really goin on Leon?...hey that rhymes..."
Leon "Well...ok...it looks like we're not gonna find your brother here after all..."
Claire "........YA THINK!?!?"
*Leon hands Claire Chris's diary. Claire flicks through the diary, stopping every so often to look at Chris's drawings of Jill nude doing, errmmm, dirty things:D. Claire looks at the floor ashamed by her brothers poor enterpretation of the femal anatomy*
Leon "Wow! He might be a bad musician, but hes a damn good artist!"
*Claire quickly puts away Chris's diary and Leon stops leering over the pictures of Jill*
Leon "Theres no reason for us to stay any longer than neccessary."
Claire "Yeah there is. I heard the Baskin Robins down the street has some damn good frozen yogurt. Maybe we could grab some..."
Leon "Ahhhhh no..we should split up, look for any survivors, steal their cash and valuables, and get outta here!"
Claire "Right! Good plan!" Leon "Well of course. I AM a cop...."
Claire "Yeah, a pretty dumb one at that too..."
Leon "One last thing."
*Leon takes a radio from his belt and hands it to Claire*
Leon "Hears a radio, take it. That way we can listen KRaccoon 109 while we blast some zombie a$$!"
*Claire nods and takes the radio, whilst Leon runs off through the door. Claire walks over to Chris's desk and takes out the porno mag Leon was looking at. She flicks through it, pulling back the stuck together pages with noticable white stains on them*
Claire "Jeez bro, you had ta just go and ruin my porno didnt ya?"
*Walks out the room in a bad mood*
Hunk and William Birkin
*Two SWAT soldiers slowly move down a corridor. One stops and peers round the corner*
Hunk "This way"
*The soldiers move toward a door. Switch to a compartment moving outwards ful of vials of green and purple substances*
William "Its sheer perfection, my high sugar sweetener for Mountain Dew"
*Takes the sample in his hand*
William "No-one will ever take your sweetness away from me!"
*Suddenly two SWAT soldiers come through a sliding door. Willima reacts quickly and grabs a suitcase and a pistol.* Hunk "There he is!"
SWAT#1 "Where? My goggles are all fogged up..."
*Takes out cloth and wipes his goggles, and see Birkin*
SWAT#1 "Ohhhhh there he is!"
William "So you've finally come! Jesus, how long does it take to deliver a ham and pineapple pizza these days?"
Hunk "No doctor, we're here to collect the G-Virus sample.."
*William backs away towards his worktop*
William "Ok, ok, i'll trade ya my G-Virus for your Charizard card! Whaddaya say?"
*William backs into a container knocking it over onto the floor. William stops and SWAT#1 reacts to the sound and fires a burst from his H&K MP5 into William*
Hunk "Stop, i was gonna take him up on that deal..."
William "I'll take that as a no then...."
*Hunk steps towards William and sees a briefcase full of T and G-Virus samples*
Hunk "Thats it alright"
SWAT#1 "How do you know?"
Hunk "Because i do, thats how."
SWAT#1 "But your not a scien..."
Hunk "Shut the hell up before i give ya a wedgie smarta$$!"
SWAT#1 "Hehe, ok. Sorrry..."
Hunk "Good, you better be...OK lets move out!"
*Hunk and SWAT#1 leave the lab, whilst Birkin is left for dead. Annette enters the lab and sees William*
Annette "William! Did you squirt ketchup all over your lab coat again?"
*Annette moves over to William*
Annette *sigh* "I'll go get some detergent, stay here and dont touch any more condiments!"
*William nods and Annette leaves to go get some detergent. William gets out his sweetener*
William "Hehe suckers didnt get my sweetener. Well theres only one thing left to do..."
*Cut to another team of SWAT soldiers sending a radio message to Hunk*
SWAT#2 "Alpha team, did you retrieve the donuts yet?"
Hunk "Affirmative, we'll meet at the ren-dez-vous point"
SWAT#3 "Huh? I thought we was getting the G-Virus?"
SWAT#2 "We are. Donuts is the code name for the G-Virus, idiot!"
SWAT#3 "OHHHHHH! Hey, whats ren-dez-vous mean?"
SWAT#2 *sigh* "Just shut up and follow me alright?"
SWAT#3 "Ummmmm, ok"
*Switch to William with sweetener* William "Well....here goes....nothing..."
*Plunges the needle full of high sugar sweetener into his stomach*
William "Wooooooaaaaaahhhh, major sugar rush!!!!!"
*Switch to Williams eyes which have turned red in colour. Fade to Annette*
Ada "Are you telling me that he was bleeding and he didnt have ketchup on his shirt? Man, your a dumba$$!"
Annette "Shut up b!tch! He may have been a scientist, but he was as clumsy as hell!"
Ada "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrright? So he injected himself with a high power sugar sweetener, NOT the G-Virus?"
Annette "His Mountain Dew sweetener has the ability to give people a major burst of energy and get em smacked up like a crack whore"
*Fade to sewers. A load roar is heard*
SWAT#3 "Wh..wha...wha..what was that?"
SWAT#2 "Sounded like someone whos constipated! Better check it out, over there!"
SWAT#3 "Yeh, ok....good thing i cant smell anything under this mask"
*SWAT#2 and SWAT#3 run towards the sound. Cut to Hunk and SWAT#1 with their guns drawn*
SWAT#1 "Shoot! Eat this you freak!"
*Fires into monster but the monster is unaffected*
SWAT#1 "Hey, this is a BB gun! My other ones at home!!!"
Hunk "Excuses, excuses. Its your own damn fault for bringing that pea shooter! What is this thing anyways? Looks like a little kid who drank too much Coca Cola!"
Creature "SUGAR...GIMME SUGAR....CAFFEINE.....ADDITIVES........ANYTHING!?!?!"
*Some claws come into view. Cut to sewers again as a loud scream can be heard*
SWAT#2 "Man, that guy must have ate some seriously bad food! Lets hurry!"
*Pulls out some laxatives and runs towards the sounds with SWAT#3. Cut to body of SWAT#1 on the floor with a large wound on his chest. Cut to a large foot crushing vials of the T and G-Virus from the briefcase. A huge mutated body is seen with the sound of a vial of the G-Virus being eaten by the creature. SWAT#2 and SWAT#3 turn the corner to see the creature*
Creature "G-VIRUS HAVE NO SUGAR......ME WANT CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!COFFEEEEEE!!!!SWEEEEEEEETYYYYYYY!!!"
SWAT#2 "What is this thing? And why is it so constipated!"
*The creature lets out a loud roar*
Creature "F**KING HELL...IM SO HIGH...THAT I COULD.......FLY!!! YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"
SWAT#2 "FIRE, FIRE!!!"
*SWAT#2 throws the laxatives at the creature, but to no avail*
Creatures "LAXATIVES NO SUGAR.....GIMME SOME SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET SUGARRRRRRRRR!!!!!"
Camera zooms in to SWAT#2 as he gets attacked. SWAT#3 sees this and opens fire*
SWAT#3 " Sunnuva b!tch! You killed my love inter...er superior!"
*Fires into the creature, but it is unaffected. SWAT#3 runs out of ammo*
SWAT#3 "Ooooooooooooooooooh crap, im dead..."
*SWAT#3 shakes head and backs into a wall. Cut to a large eye opening*
SWAT#3 "Sh!t! Thats one helluva big one eye monster you got their!"
Creature "ONE EYE MONSTER WANT SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!"
*Cut to sewers as a scream is heard. Cut to brifecase and smashed vials of T and G-Virus, which some mice are eating at*
Mice "Ahh God bless these sewers. Always some chemical to eat and get stoned off...."