[Author] - Grasshopper (A.K.A. The Undertaker's Muse)
[Email] - uber_bitch13@yahoo.com
[Rated] - PG-13
[Warnings] - Swearing, rambling Draco thoughts, and the sexual assault of a candy cane, lol. Oh, and some mentions of other m/f, m/m, and f/f pairings, but nothing overt; mainly just Draco's interpretation of certain things. *snorts* Merlin help us all.
[Category] - Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Harry Potter
[Spoilers] - None, really.
[Pairings] - Willow/Draco Malfoy
[Summary] - Another year, another DADA professor… Only this time, Draco Malfoy has met his match.
[Author's Notes] - Secret Santa Fic for Eena_Angel2001. Hope you like it! My first bit of W/D-ness, so who knows how this turned out…
[Disclaimer] - All things BtVS belong to Joss Whedon. All things HP belong to J. K. Rowling.
Draco's POV
I love sweets. Ask any Slytherin and they'll tell you, "that Malfoy, he loves any and all types of candy." Chocolate frogs, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Ice Mice… I like it all. Even things with coconut, though I am rather allergic to the bloody stuff. But there are some things I just can't stand.
Muggle sweets.
Now, I know what you're thinking, but I don't dislike said candy because it's muggle-made. In fact, I used to have quite the addiction to Skittles and Kit Kats…Tootsie Roll Pops…M&Ms…Whatchamacallits…and Hershey's Kisses…well, you get the point. But then she came along and ruined it all.
I've never been attracted to older women before. Especially not older women that are muggle-born wandless witches. Her with her Weasley-red hair and Slytherin-green eyes. Not my type, whatsoever, no matter what Blaise and Millicent may say. But those two have no clue what they're talking about - they once accused my of having…feelings…for the girl Weasel! It doesn't matter that she's the most attractive person to ever come from that clan; she's still a Weasel and has that vulgar red hair and shabby, muggle-style clothing.
But, as I was saying…
Her green eyes… I do like green. Especially Slytherin green. But that's the only point in her favor.
Let's not forget that she's a wandless witch. The lowest of the low, when it pertains to a muggle-born witch or wizard. Who cares how bloody powerful she is… Though she does have enough power to rival the Dark Lord. That's quite likely the reason she's here, since she had never used a wand before this past summer. Had never even known of the wizarding world before then, actually.
And she's nearly a year older than I am. As I said, I don't go for older women. Not unless they're of veela descent, at least. What? Where do you think my pale skin, nearly-white hair, and slightly - only slightly, mind - feminine features come from?
But I digress…
You see what that mudblood does to me? She gets me so wound up that I want to hex her into oblivion! …but the "newly reformed Draco" must hold his temper in check. I get so frustrated that I completely lose my train of thought!
Now where was I? Oh, yes…she ruined it all. Her with her bubblegum candy canes and demon-shaped gingerbread cookies. Called "cookies" rather than "men," of course, as their demonic shape made that statement quite the oxymoron. Besides, demons could be female, too.
Note the sarcasm in my voice as I quote her.
The candy canes weren't bad in the beginning. They were artfully arranged into the shape of a pentacle on her desk, which I found quite unique. But then…she started doing that.
What is "that." you may ask? Why, eating said candy canes, of course.
She'd wander around the room, lecturing our seventh-year DADA class about one demon or another, while sucking on her candy. Pale lips wrapped around a stick of candy the same flushed pink as her tongue, which traveled along the length periodically.
Tell me how, in Merlin's name, is a seventeen-year-old male supposed to pay attention in his DADA class when his rather attractive professor is sexually assaulting a candy cane?!
He can't, that's how.
So here I sit, once again, in DADA lessons. This time, however, I will keep my eyes focused on the various students. Yes, if I pay attention to the others her actions are affecting, I can keep from getting distracted. Wonderful plan, if I do say so myself. Let's see…
There's Potter. Alright, so he's not distracted, but he does have a need for the subject matter at hand; more so than most of us… Plus he's more likely going to be distracted by our resident Potions Master than anyone. Disgusting…like anyone should even glance in Potter's direction with anything even vaguely resembling desire.
Moving on…
Hah! The Weasel's practically drooling at the wicked things the Professor is doing…but with his limited mental capacity, that really doesn't count for much. He drools over any and all females from the fifth year up, minus his sister.
Granger… Nope, nothing. Once again, not surprising. She's much too studious…and another who's lusting after my Head of House. Now she's actually the type Severus would go for - highly intelligent and beautiful, though it's more of a classic beauty…if only she weren't a Gryffindork. Not that I'd ever admit it, but not even being a mudblood can change the fact that she's rather powerful. She was so meant to be a Ravenclaw, with her fellow brainy, soul-matey types.
Oh, wonderful. Now I'm starting to think like the bloody woman! Not going to think of that…
Blaise…of course not; he's too busy mooning over that sixth-year mudblood Gryffie with the camera obsession. Wait, that's muggle-born Gryffie… The last time I forgot that in front of Blaise, I mysteriously turned into a female the next day.
I did not enjoy that experience at all. Especially when the Weasel started flirting, before figuring out who I really was. I'm still traumatized from the experience.
Crabbe and Goyle…even more dimwitted than the Weasel, so they don't count. How have they managed to even survive this long? Oh, right. Because of me. Never mind.
Pansy…disgusting. I don't even want to think about Pansy the Pug-faced girl lusting after the Professor.
…must…scour…mind…clean…
Professor Rosenberg sucking on a candy cane.
Ahh…much better. Now, how about-
"Mister Malfoy? Are you paying attention at all, today?"
Bloody hell.
"Mister Malfoy?"
"Yes, Professor?"
"Is something wrong?"
Wrong? Of course there is, woman! You and your damn candy canes are what's wrong!
"No."
"Then keep your mind in the here and now, please. Stay after class; I would like to speak with you."
Maybe if I bludgeon myself with my text, I can forget that anything ever happened…
"Yes, Professor."
Luckily, class only lasts ten more minutes. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can leave. The sooner I leave, the sooner I can- …er, I don't really think that's any of your business!
What do you mean, I'm blushing? A Malfoy never blushes!
Pretty soon, I'm standing a few feet away from her in the now-empty classroom.
"Mister Malfoy… Draco…"
She's never called me by my first name before. Well, other than her first day when she was figuring out who everyone was. But after that, it was always "Mister Malfoy."
"Is there something wrong, Professor?"
She's looking at me now, green eyes dark with…something. If I was optimistic, I'd say it was lust… No, the anger's setting in; I see it, now.
"From here on out, it would be nice to have your full attention in class. I don't expect you to like me, but I demand respect. Behavior like yours today is extremely disrespectful and I will not tolerate it."
"Yes, Professor." Damn me for being so subservient…
Suddenly all smiles again, she sits down on her desk, picking up another candy cane. "Glad we understand each other. You're free to go…unless you have any questions about today's lesson?"
Don't ask, Draco, don't ask…
"Professor?"
"Yes?"
Do. Not. Ask.
"Why is it that you eat candy canes in class?"
D'oh!
"What?" She's frowning now, confusion written all over her face.
"I mean…" Don't start rambling now. Finish what you've started, Malfoy. "The way you practically…"
Finish it. Finish it and get your arse out of here!
"Sexually assault them?"
Finally! Hold on…I didn't say that.
"What?"
"That's what you want to know, right?" She's smiling widely now, practically giggling at me.
"Well…yes."
Laughing softly, she unwraps the candy cane in her hands.
"Mister Malfoy-"
"Call me Draco."
"Alright… Draco. If there's one thing I've learned from having guy friends, it's that they tend to pay more attention when they're hormones are involved. Thus, the candy."
She waves said candy at me before giving it a light suck. My eyes immediately latch onto the sight as I feel my pants getting tighter.
"See! That's my point, exactly."
"Huh?" Oh…yeah…her point. Damn.
A giggle escaped her lips as she gestured to the door.
"You should probably get to your next class."
"Right… Professor?" I step closer to her, only a few inches away from where she was perched on top of her neatly organized desk.
"Yes?" She frowns slightly, likely wondering what I was planning. Great instincts, this one has.
Before she can object, I press my lips against hers lightly; savoring the taste of bubblegum and the lingering stickiness of candy. After a moment, I pulled back and started toward the door. Shooting a grin over my shoulder as I headed out of the classroom, I took note of her wide eyes and lips parted in shock.
"Happy Hanukkah, Willow."
As I strode toward my next class, I smiled slightly.
I love bubblegum candy canes.